“What if someone built a restaurant named ‘Swastika’?”

It wasn’t a question I ever got to ask the owner of Uptown’s late, lamented (?) Soviet-themed restaurant. I wasn’t going to ask the waitstaff or the bartender; they’re working stiffs and they don’t need to care one way or the other. But when friends asked me to meet there, I was a little uncomfortable; nobody would attend, much less open, a restaurant named “Swastikas”. You could probably sneak a few themes through: Blutwurst und Boden, or maybe Ein Fork, Ein Stein, Ein Menu.

But Hammer and Sickle? A direct reference to the emblem of one of the three most lethal regimes in history?

I went – long story. Great selection of vodka, and the best piroshki I’ve had since the Vomit Comet killed off the late, great “Russian Tea House” on University Avenue. It wasn’t my party, didn’t need to make a fuss…

…but I wasn’t especially pained to see that the concept has apparently gone to the great restaurant Lubyanka in the sky.

But when one door closes, a window opens. Maybe.

Another new restaurant, this time on the East Side of Saint Paul, gets into funky historical and cultural turf – maybe.

Juche is the official ideology of the North Korean regime. It’s Stalinism with a Korean accent. In terms of cultural and historical overtones, it’s a simple word that, viewed through a Nork lens, is as loaded as Lebenraum or Wrecker.

Not viewed through a Nork lens, it’s not entirely unlike the idiomatic and unobjectionable-to-admirable Finnish maxim of Sisu – self-reliance, grit, determination, stoicism.

And I’d love to figure it out. So, long story short, I guess I know where I’m eating next weekend.

….the late, highly esteemed Dr. Bill Gleason, mornings like this gave him an almost childish degree of glee.

He’d frequently tweet, or post on the blog wrote about me, how his pleas had been listened to, and some divine technological retribution had finally been served on me, and I’d been smitten from the Internet.

I had, of course, forgotten to pay my domain renewal. Nothing more. Within a few hours, the blog was back in action. HIs tweets for the rest of the day felt…cheated? Crestfallen?

But he’d go on about his day,, creating deathles science or something.

Anyway, it was another one of those mornings. Most likely the last such – because after 16.5 years of procrastination, I finally added an annual reminder on March 25 to make sure it gets paid.

I’m sure that the great Doctor is bellowing into the void up in the great beyond even as we speak.

I’lll pour out a forty for him now. [1]

Read the rest of this entry »

The DFL noise machine has been treating this speech by Rep. Walter Hudson – longtime friend of this blog, and by far my favorite outside NARN guest host – like a return of the Nuremberg Laws.

It’s in response to the Transgender Sanctuary (AKA “Kidnapping Protection”) legalization.

https://twitter.com/WalterHudson/status/1639370652653060097

Walter’s right. And it’s time for people who support, not just American freedom, not just Western Civilizaiton, but objective reality, to take a place in the fight.

In “1984”, the tipping point in Riley breaking Winston Smith was getting him to say “2+2=5” like he really meant it.

This isn’t new.

From abusive marriages to Communist countries the first step is convincing you reality isn’t real. Women are “vulva owners”. Truth is false. Freedom is slavery.

It’s reality versus fantasy time.

SCENE. Mitch BERG is in his muddy driveway, replacing a taillight on his truck. Avery LIBRELLE, happily inspecting the contents of peoples recycling bins for violations, sees him, and saunters over before BERG notices.

LIBRELLE: :Merg!

BERG: Uh…hey…

LIBRELLE: I read your bit on Watler Hudson’s hateful speech calling for genocide against trans children.

BERG: If you’re down to nothing but lies, I don’t think we’ve got anything to talk about…

LIBRELLE: Shut up. You are motivated by pure hate.

BERG: Saying those who disagree with you on *policy* issues act out of “hate” is the mark of a dolt.

Don’t flatter yourself. I won’t risk corroding my soul wasting hate on those who disagree with me. I love those who differ from me – including transgender people – as my savior said to love my fellow imperfect human.

Hate? Get over yourself. If you thought it before, you were delusoional. If you believe it now, you’re manipulative, gaslighting human garbage.

LIBRELLE: Oooh. You’re melting down.

BERG: Maybe if I splashed water on you, you would.

And SCENE

Unlike Uvalde and Parkland, the cops at the Covenant School shooting in Nashville did what cops (and citizens, for that matter) are supposed to do in the face of a spree killer: meet them with lethal force as quickly and effectively as possible.

As a general rule, spree killers spend a long time, sometimes years, planning their attacks, and frequently carry them out in a fugue state, almost a fantastical reverie. And resistance, especially with lethal force, even if it doesn’t kill or incapacitate them, frequently/usually makes them break off the attack, usually giving up or killing themselves as their fantasy comes to an abrupt end.

The Nashville cops appear to have done it right:

MNPD Officers Rex Engelbert, a 4-year veteran, and Michael Collazo, a 9-year veteran, were part of a team of first responders to the Covenant campus Mon morning. They fired on the active shooter, who was killed. This is their body camera footage. https://t.co/17qsZM6bNp pic.twitter.com/g4b0nMTFRD

— Metro Nashville PD (@MNPDNashville) March 28, 2023

Here’s the body cam footage.

Warning: Extremely graphic.

And these cops, I will thank for their service.

I don’t normally put much music stuff on the blog – I’d rather not dilute the gravitas of this publicatio with rock and roll…

…but my band, Elephant in the Room, is playing Shamrock’s on West 7th in Saint Paul, Friday night at

We go on at 930PM.

It’s one of those rooms I’ve been dying to play for like fifteen years, now.

Anyway – if you stop by, say hi!

I’ll do my due diligence and make my usual reference to my self-coined but completely accurate dictum:

Berg’s Eighteenth Law of Media Latency

Nothing the media writes/says about any emotionally charged event – a mass shooting, a police shooting, anything – should be taken seriously for 48 hours after the original incident.  It will largely be rubbish, as media outlets vie to “scoop” each other even on incorrect facts.

I will continue to observe this law.

But to speculate just a bit? I’m going to go out on a short sturdy limb and guess mass shooting at the Covenant School disappears down the memory hole.

The shooter, y’see, is a former student who, while being almost universally “deadnamed” in the media by her original, female identity, seemed to be pretty actively presenting her…er, him…er, xheirself as (what biologists used to call) male:

*Unconfirmed* reports identify the Nashville shooter as “Audrey Hale”, a biological female that identifies as “He/Him” on their LinkedIn

Authorities believe the transgender shooter previously attended the Christian school

Instagram account “creative.aiden” has been deleted pic.twitter.com/ybdQVQsZ6H

— DC_Draino (@DC_Draino) March 27, 2023

That’s two spree killings in one. year carried out by gender-dysmorphic people. The avalanche of mental illness spurred on by the lockdowns and America’s general spiritual and emotional decline is paying dividends for those who benefit from both.

Darn that NRA.

And I’m sure various cultural cues, like this and this…

…were utterly unrelated.

By the way – like most spree killers, the murderer chose the target because there was less chance of resistance. The school was a “gun free zone”, and had other vulnerabilities that beckoned:

[Metropolitan Nashville Police Chief John Drake] answered, “Yes,” [that Covenant was the only school targeted] but noted there was another location the suspect considered striking as well. However, he said the suspect did “a threat assessment” of the other location and decided there was “too much security.”

Draw your conclusions. I certainly am .

Unlike the Uvalde shooting, initial reports indicated the police response was fast, violent and decisive – something that the Feds long ago determined was a key factor for dealing with spree killers, and that this blog has noted time and again and again and again and again and again is of paramount importance in containing and ending these shootings.

All last week: the DFL telling the peasantry that 2+2=5.

The weekend:

I’m officially the #1 fan of the #1 pizza in America.  
  
Thanks for having us, Wrecktangle Pizza! pic.twitter.com/qe3zxycODa

— Governor Tim Walz (@GovTimWalz) March 24, 2023

Endless gauzy-focused, staged cheesecake (literally, this weekend) photo-ops, breathlesslyt lapped up by a tame, generally almost worthless media.

Remind anyone of any utterly depressing and ever-more-timely literary masterpieces?

I did a prerecorded show, so I could attend the Minnesota Gun Owners Caucus’s annual (after a few years off) Rally at the Capitol.

Huge crowd.

Great speakers – Rob Doar, Bryan Strawser, Reverend Tim Christopher, and an array of pro-2nd Amendment legislators.

Rob – the MNGOC’s political director – was able to announce that most of the DFL’s gun bills – the semi-auto/”Assault Weapons” ban, the magazine limits, banning guns for people under 21 – are dead this session.

But Universal Registration and Red Flag Confiscation bills could still leak through. Hence the rally – and Rob’s injunction that “we need ten of you for every one that’s here”.

If you’re not in the MNGOC already, consider this your engraved invitation.

By the way: I’ve been to a lot of these rallies – like, all of them, ever – and I’ve never seen a police presence like I did on Saturday.

Rumor had it that the cops had been told to expect trouble. No specifics about who was going to cause the trouble, or who felt it; I suspect the Speaker of the House and the Governor indulged their base and wanted to put on a show of force.

Notwithstanding, ,the cops were universally friendly, even helpful. Not to project, but they knew that nobody was going to cause problems.

…and apply it to minor children.

That’s pretty much what the DFL is doing.

MN Democrat Leigh Finke was unable to answer basic questions about the harms of so-called "gender-affirming health care." Finke is sponsoring a bill that would make MN a refuge for children seeking such care. pic.twitter.com/vUmOWaWdyy

— Alpha News (@AlphaNewsMN) March 25, 2023

So when a parent leaves a narcissistic piece of drama royalty who is using their children’s physiques and psyches as their personal doodle board, but their ex hauls them to Minnesota to complete the job, the Minnesota House has just voted to make the state a safe haven for kidnapping.

No, seriously:

And this is how popular it is here in Minnesota:

According to the latest Thinking Minnesota poll (February 26-28), an overwhelming majority (67%) of Minnesotans oppose sex change operations for minors. The poll was released as the Minnesota House prepares to debate a bill Thursday making Minnesota a “trans refuge” state where the practice will be protected and even encouraged. All political subgroups in the poll opposed sex change operations for minors including Democrats. There is a 51-point gap in support for the practice among Minnesota independents (16%-67%).  

The poll was conducted by Meeting Street Insights, a nationally recognized polling operation based in Charleston, South Carolina. Using a mix of cell phones and landline phones, the company interviewed 500 registered voters across Minnesota from February 26-28, 2023. The margin of error is +-4.38 percent.

And the DFL knows it:

The Speaker or the House has LOCKED the doors of the Chamber to the Minnesota House of Representatives. Why? Because there are people rallying to PROTECT KIDS and the rally goes against the democrat narrative that the democrats kidnapping bill is super popular. pic.twitter.com/LSORp4Sglg

— 🇺🇸Mary🇺🇸 (@RepMaryFranson) March 23, 2023

But the DFL doesn’t care. They are using their “trifecta” of complete progressive control to do exactly what I said they’d do in 2018: jam down everything they can, knowing that even if they lose the trifecta next year, it’s going to be almost impossible to roll most of it back.

More on the show tomorrow.

A different friend of the blog emails:

I wonder why this was canceled?

I dunno. Great question. Some things are just un-knowable.

Seems to be what the world needs now is a laugh, though.

A friend of the blog emails:

The tides seem to be changing. 

I remember when a similar editorial was written about downtown Minneapolis and the man who wrote it was basically canceled. And the Star Tribune took it down.
It’s interesting to note how the writer says, “I don’t raise these opinions in certain rooms, because I am deeply enmeshed in the progressive ecosystem of belief, and have adapted to those spaces for much of my life.”

Glad he finally feels brave enough to raise these concerns. Hope we can get some real enforcement nationwide on Fentanyl use, crime, etc. 

Hope springs eternal, I suppose. But that would involve admitting there’s a problem – and what the causes of those problems actually are.

Baby steps, maybe.

I’m not sure how I missed this piece, from five years ago, about supremely complicated story of Warren Zevon – a deeply flawed person who wrote some of the best music ever about deeply flawed people.

It’s a sprawling article that covers a lot of turf – too many

In an old Late Show episode from the ’90s, when Zevon was guesting as bandleader, David Letterman asks Zevon to play “Desperados Under the Eaves,” which he had never performed on the show. Zevon demurs, suggesting that he needs an orchestra backing him to do the song justice. Maybe he just didn’t want to play his big hymn about L.A. on the opposite coast from that “beautiful, sensual morgue.” Either way, Dave never was able to convince Warren to play it for him.

The best song can’t ever be your favorite song, because the best song belongs to everybody, whereas a favorite song belongs only to you. Goldsmith goes with “The French Inhaler,” a telling choice for a songwriter — it boasts a parallel narrative that references Zevon’s bitter break-up with the first love of his life and mother to Jordan, Marilyn “Tule” Livingston, and the controversy over Norman Mailer’s 1973 biography of Marilyn Monroe. It’s the sort of song — sophisticated without making a big deal about it — that professionals wish they had written.

Favorite but not “best”? Probably a three way battle between “Poor Poor Pitiful Me”, “Lawyers, Guns and Money” and “A Certain Girl”.

The rebooting of Zevon’s reputation – from untouchable to secular saint, in the two decades since he died – fills a lot of the article, and it’s fascinating, and a little bit of a blast down memory lane to the days when he was one of the most alcoholic-y alcoholics around:

One of the most haunting passages from I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead concerns “Reconsider Me,” Zevon’s most poignant love song. (Given how much Zevon labored over his lyrics, the use of “reconsider” seems especially crucial.) Crystal Zevon recounts how Warren showed up at her place at some point in the mid-’80s, before he got sober, to play her the song. In spite of everything, they were thinking about giving their marriage another go.

Their daughter, Ariel, was excited to show her daddy her report card and a drawing she made for him. But when he walked in, he ignored Ariel, instead fixating on Crystal as he played her his beautiful love song. The little girl looked on, quietly devastated.

It’s an illuminating and fascinating read if you’re a fan. And I am.

Brooklyn Park WalMart to close:

A Walmart spokesperson said after a “careful and thoughtful review process” the company made the “difficult decision” to close the location on Friday, April 21. 

In a statement, they added that the store didn’t perform  “as well as we hoped” and didn’t meet the company’s financial expectations, but employees will be able to transfer to another store.

This follows on the heels of Target announcing they’ll be closing their Uptown mini-store. With that closing, the chain’s explanation made sense; the price of the land in Uptown was higher than the low-service mini-Target was worth.

For now.

As to Shingle Creek Crossing? It’s not land values. The shoplifting got it.

#Vibrant.

Social media droogs from Crocus Hill and Northeast are chortling, thinking the store will be turned into an abstract performance space or something.

Last December 8, when the DFL was crowing about having a “$17.6 Billion Surplus”, I noted tha the so-called “surplus” was nothing but bIllions of dollars in federal Covid stimulus dollars, routine Minnesota DFL overtaxation (plumped up by receipts driven up by inflation in the cost of the goods being taxed, and that all of that that taxation and inflation was going on over an epipandemic surge in stimulus-swollen consumer spending that would end with the subsidies.

And I predicted:

• The DFL will turn that “$27.6 Billion in Surplus” into permanent spending
• The economy will slow into recession (as even the DFL’s cheerleaders in their bespoke press are starting to observe).
• Without the Covid stimuli, and with the economy contracting, tax receipts will crash again. “Unexpectedly”
• The state will have a multibillion dollar deficit by 2026, probably 2024.

I think it’s fair to say the first bullet is in the 10 ring:

Democratic Gov. Tim Walz and legislative leaders announced they have agreed to a spending framework that would increase the state's budget by nearly $17.9 billion over the next two years, seemingly using up all of Minnesota's surplus. https://t.co/tvy8a56OHU

— The Minnesota Star Tribune (@StarTribune) March 21, 2023

“Seemingly”.

Of course, some are taking this as a cue to celebrate:

I’m not sure people are grasping the significance of this moment. You know how in mid-May reporters are usually camped out in front of the Gov’s office, waiting for negotiators to come out and announce a budget deal? This is that deal. It’s March 21st. https://t.co/wUyu37dJxy

— Zack Stephenson (@zackstephenson) March 22, 2023

No word from Rep. Stevenson if making the trains run on time is next.

My ultimate prediction – billions in deficits – is now inevitable.

No, it’s not just me. Walter Hudson:

Democrats are going to turn a $17.5 billion surplus into a multi-billion dollar deficit in one biennium.

That's why they changed their tune on the social security tax repeal. They can't afford it.

Soon, none of us will be able to afford anything. https://t.co/4JsiZ1HX2m

— Walter Hudson (@WalterHudson) March 22, 2023

The University of Helsinki gives climate activist Greta Thunberg an honorary PhD in Theology .

The Babylon Bee should sue for trademark infringement.

The latest casualty of Democrat rule?

$1 Pizza in NYC:

Today's cover: End of the $1 pizza slice is the price you pay for Democrats’ spending https://t.co/buODbRZ4OL pic.twitter.com/xTl8lqQTEr

— New York Post (@nypost) March 21, 2023

You’re paying for those “stimmy checks” and failed banks one way or the other, peasant.

SCENE: Mitch BERG is spreading salt and grit on his sidewalk, trying to stay ahead of the thaw-refreeze cycle. So engrossed is he, he doesn’t see the Nissan Leaf with GUTTERBALL GARY and CAT SCAT, both bloggers at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“. They pull to a stop and get out of the car.

SCAT: Merg!

BERG: Oh, shiiiiure great to see y’all…

GUTTERBALL GARY: Shut up. You ReTHUGliCon wingnuts are running on “woke”, but most Americans love woke!

BERG: Provided they are spoon-fed an indulgent definition of the term first.

SCAT: Well, none of you crazy fat wypipo can define…

BERG: “Woke” is believing that

1. the institutions of American society are currently and intentionally set up to oppress (minorities, women, the poor, fat people, etc.) and that…
2. virtually all gaps in performance between large groups prove that this oppression exists,
3. the solution to this is equity – the artificial levelling of the social, sexual, political, economic and in some cases literal playing fields across ornate intersectional lines
4. This “Equity” is enforced by relentless mob action.

GUTTERBALL GARY and SCAT stand, slack-jawed, as BERG continues casting salt upon the land. Er, sidewalk.

BERG: Anything else?

There is nothing.

And SCENE

A billion dollar train with nobody on it runs a stop signal and rams a car that had the right of way pinning it between it and another LRT train.

SHOCK DASHCAM: Video shared with us from a driver shows a Light Rail train slamming into a vehicle earlier tonight in a downtown Minneapolis intersection. The vehicle then became lodged in between two trains and the driver had to be extricated. Several https://t.co/GREFoyheMI… pic.twitter.com/2WVvE5XQQ8

— MN CRIME (@MN_CRIME) March 21, 2023

Is there a more perfect bunch of parallels for government in the Twin Cities these days?

Mayor Frey and Chief O’Hara announced last week that Minneapolis will be much better prepared the next time there’s a major crisis.

For starters, all rioters will get a free lunch, courtesy of Minnesota taxpayers.

We talked last week about Peggy Flanagan’s absurd take on parenting.

Here it is again:

https://twitter.com/AlphaNewsMN/status/1636146393130627079

She followed up with this photo.

Check out that righteous Bowie knife.

There are only three interpretations for this symbology:

• It was designed by someone who is unfamiliar with American iconography. If this is the case, wearing the shirt was pretty dang ignorant.
• It’s an incredibly crude and juvenline jape about gender transition surgery: I’m throwing up in my mouth a little.
• The Lieutenant Governor is talking tough: Y’know – saying she’s going to stab people who transgress to some indistinct degree or another against trans people. Y’know – like Sarah Palin’s “crosshairs”, only with actual intent.

Not sure which it is. I’m open to suggestions.

Speaking of which – I have four friends that one could classify as transgender. Two of them are from the “Armed Trans Don’t Get Shot” faction of the Second Amendment movement, whom I could see donning one of these:

Of course it’s a photoshop. Theatrical posturing about stabbing bigots is OK; taking a gun to them, probably not.

Which is a shame, since the gun might actually work.

Speaking of which, here’s the MN Gun Owners Caucus’s version:

It goes without saying that if a Republican threw a knife or gun reference into a t-shirt on a social issue, it’d be front page news, with thought-free “think” pieces clogging op-ed pages nationwide.

So I won’t say it.

I enjoy every broadcast I do. I joke – about 65% tongue in cheek – that the worst day on the air is better than the best day off the air.

But some are better than others.

Hour two, last Saturday, was fun even by that standard.

My guest for the first half-hour, Cassie Fredregill, told the infuriating story of her go-round about having her ten year old daughter in a class on reacting to sexting.

It’s the sort of thing you’d expect to hear about the Minneapolis or Edina schools.

But this was Little Falls 

Listen to the first half hour for. yourself. .

Gary Gross has been covering the story here, here, here, here, here and here,

If you’re not outraged, you are part of the problem.

Much more coming later this week, and on next Saturday’s show.

(The third quarter-hour includes an epic takedown of Cori Bush and “woke” attacks on Western Civilization in general).

Here’s Gary Gross’s first piece on guest Cassie Fredregill’s battle with the Little Falls school board. Read ongoing coverage at Freedom and Prosperity.

Today’s Progressive Minnesota Social Media Depravity competition:
– Bronze: Keith Ellison
– Silver: Melvin Carter
– Gold, Platinum and Uranium: Peggy Flanagan

Here’s today’s song list:

SCENE: It’s an ordinary morning in the home of Edwin DUCHEY, Proprietor at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog “MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com”.    DuChey was badly scarred by a childhood in which he was routinely bullied – by much younger children.

He’s sitting in the living room, sorting through emails on his phone, as his partner, Stacey Hinton, Executive Director of “Keep All Racists Eternally Nonplussed”, a white progressive support group and, like DuChey, a commited but unremarkable DFL activist, does much the same.

Their daughter, NIGELLA DUCHEY-HINTON, age 6, crawls into the room on all fours.

NIGELLA: Look, meowther and ffffffffather. I’m a kitty cat!

DUCHEY: (Looks at HINTON). What do you think, honey?

HINTON: Nigella? That’s an important decision, but you know I support and love you no matter what.

DUCHEY: (Looks at his phone). Honey? There’s a clinic in Honduras that specializes in species transition…oh, look, it says “for American progressives!”.

HINTON: Perfect!

NIGELLA: You mean puurrrrrr-fect! (NIGELLA crawls from the room)

DUCHEY: Yes, Nigella!! I’ll book a ticket to…uh, what’s the capital of Honduras, hon?

HINTON: Austin.

DUCHEY: I’ll get on it.

(As DUCHEY scrolls around looking for tickets to Austin, Honduras, their oldest son, Bjorn O’BRIEN – Hinton’s 14 year old son from a previous relationship, walks into the room.

O’BRIEN: I am Napoleon Buonaparte!

HINTON: Do tell, Bjorn.

O’BRIEN: It’s not Bjorn. I am Napoleon. My destiny is to conquer the world.

DUCHEY: So you identify as…Napoleon, the president of France in World War 2w?

HINTON: (Sotto Voce). The Civil War, honey.

O’BRIEN: Identifying has nothing to do with it. I am Napoleon. Could you lend me $500 until Jefferson buys Louisiana from me?

HINTON: Give him my MAPE Credit Union card, Ed.

(DUCHEY fishes card out of his fanny pack and gives it to young Bjorn, who doffs his “admiral” hat in a grand imperial salute before leaving the room)

HINTON: He needs a shower.

HINTON: They didn’t take as many of them in 1895, during the Civil War.

HINTON: Oh, right. Of course.

(Sean KASSEBAUM-HINTON, age 10 and Hinton’s son from a “break” in her and DUCHEY’s relationship, enters the room,

SEAN: Mom? Dad? Can I get some running shoes?

DUCHEY: Sure, son.

HINTON: Not your son. Sure, Sean. What’s up?

SEAN: I want to get in shape so that when I’m old enough I can join the Army or the Marines or something.

(HINTON and DUCHEY sit, blanching in poorly-muted horror).

HINTON: The military?

SEAN: Yes, mom. I want to serve this country. And tanks are cool!

(DUCHEY and HINTON exchange glances).

DUCHEY: Your mother and I will need to talk about it, son.

HINTON: Not your son.

SEAN: OK, Mom and Ed. (SEAN leaves the room)

DUCHEY: OMG.

HINTON: What have we done wrong?

DUCHEY: Well, according to Lt. Governor Peggy…:

https://twitter.com/AlphaNewsMN/status/1636146393130627079

DUCHEY: …nothing at all.

HINTON: But this is just so wrong. How have we failed him so?

DUCHEY: Maybe I can get him in to see a therapist…

(COLIN MANDELA DuChey, age 17, Edwin’s son from an earlier relationship, walks into the room)

COLIN MANDELA: Hey, I need the keys to the car and some money for liquor; Terry’s older brother is buying. We’re going to LaCrosse to hit on biker chicks.

DUCHEY: I hear you and believe you. (Digs keys and a couple of hundreds from the fanny pack).

COLIN MANDELA: (Grabs the money). No, stupid. Not the Prius. That’s gay. I want the Jeep.

(HINTON digs keys from purse).

COLIN MANDELA: Later, b*t*hes.

HINTON: It’s part of being a good parent.

DUCHEY: The Lieutenant Governor says so.

And SCENE.