Defined
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: Mitch BERG is spreading salt and grit on his sidewalk, trying to stay ahead of the thaw-refreeze cycle. So engrossed is he, he doesn’t see the Nissan Leaf with GUTTERBALL GARY and CAT SCAT, both bloggers at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“. They pull to a stop and get out of the car.
SCAT: Merg!
BERG: Oh, shiiiiure great to see y’all…
GUTTERBALL GARY: Shut up. You ReTHUGliCon wingnuts are running on “woke”, but most Americans love woke!
BERG: Provided they are spoon-fed an indulgent definition of the term first.
SCAT: Well, none of you crazy fat wypipo can define…
BERG: “Woke” is believing that
- the institutions of American society are currently and intentionally set up to oppress (minorities, women, the poor, fat people, etc.) and that…
- virtually all gaps in performance between large groups prove that this oppression exists,
- the solution to this is equity – the artificial levelling of the social, sexual, political, economic and in some cases literal playing fields across ornate intersectional lines
- This “Equity” is enforced by relentless mob action.
GUTTERBALL GARY and SCAT stand, slack-jawed, as BERG continues casting salt upon the land. Er, sidewalk.
BERG: Anything else?
There is nothing.
And SCENE
March 21st, 2023 at 11:34 am
It seems like everybody has their own definition for what “wokeness” is. Ask a moderate, and it’s a blunt weapon used by extremist progressives to force their agenda. Ask a progressive, and it’s simply being aware that racial inequalities exist and that we should be doing something about it. Ask a Republican, and “wokeness” is a pagan ritual performed by liberals to summon Poseidon for their satanic cabal.
Most sarcasm aside, however, ideologies don’t really fail, they just get rebranded, relabeled and sold to future generations in shiny new packages.
March 21st, 2023 at 11:59 am
Ask a progressive, and it’s simply being aware that racial inequalities exist and that we should be doing something about it.
And “doing something about it” means “infiltrating and overtaking every institution in society, cancelling those who disagree, and physically mobbing those who survive the cancelling.”
March 21st, 2023 at 12:15 pm
“Woke” is the manifestation of an undefined mental illness, often found in persons suffering from diagnosed mental illness.
Other times, it’s just the outward expression of a profoundly low IQ.
March 21st, 2023 at 12:15 pm
The term is used as a right-wing pejorative. That is why MBerg could not define the term. I suspect Fox hosts would stumble in the same manner.
When the term is an umbrella to vilify the left or own the libs, simple definitions defy precise definition.
March 21st, 2023 at 12:21 pm
It’s funny how easy it is to turn leftist catch phrases and terms into perjoratives.
March 21st, 2023 at 12:25 pm
it’s simply being aware that racial inequalities exist
Funny how lefties to tend to accept something as fact before a body of evidence proves it.
March 21st, 2023 at 12:28 pm
Thank you, rAT, for that helpful illustration of type II Woke, as described above.
March 21st, 2023 at 12:40 pm
Conservatives Can’t Define Woke!’ Shouts Leftist Who Can’t Define ‘Man’ Or ‘Woman’
Life · Mar 19, 2023 · Babylon Bee
March 21st, 2023 at 12:47 pm
“Wokeness” will fade from social discourse. Look in a slang dictionary; you’d be surprised at what was once popular slang is no longer used.
It’s kind of like “The Big Lie”! A Republican slang for losing their party’s US Presidency…
March 21st, 2023 at 2:13 pm
If the right has ended up redefining “Woke” as a perjorative, to the extent that the left is moving away from the phrase, that tells me that is one of the very few language captures that our side has “won”. It wasn’t too long ago that “Woke” was championed by the left as something noble to which to aspire.
March 21st, 2023 at 2:31 pm
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., perhaps in his libertarian phase, wrote the best commentary on “equity” ever.
See HARRISON BERGERON
It begins:
March 21st, 2023 at 3:48 pm
Americans consistently are polled as rejecting racial preferences in education & employment by huge margins, like 2:1. And wokeness is all about racial preferences, the wokesters want to institutionalize racial preferences into every facet of public and private life.
March 21st, 2023 at 6:06 pm
Say Bot Boy, you ignorant twit, you might want to take a world history class on 1939 Germany. The term the Big Lie, that you morally and ethically bankrupt commies throw around, was started by Hitler and his goons against the Jews. It figures though that a gutter dwelling, anti semitic sub human like you and the disgusting vermin that you support, would use that phrase.
March 22nd, 2023 at 10:54 am
At its base, the “culture war” engaged in by conservatives is an attempt to make racism and homophobia appear to be based on some higher principle.
March 23rd, 2023 at 5:56 am
🔼 I know, rAT…how *dare* those Conservative Patriots™️ drag pre-woke research, documented history and human biology into your sideshow, right? They’re still living in the 1950’s…(shudder).
Its sooo fucked up, bro.
Next thing you know, they’ll be saying a guy doesn’t have the right to read porn to his own daughter, in the comfort of his own FaBULOuS LakEfROnT EsTaTE!
All👏books👏are👏equal. 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🍆
March 23rd, 2023 at 6:17 am
It turns out that most people who claim to be transgender are, indeed, just a man wearing a dress.
Large majorities of trans adults have changed their physical appearance in ways that reflect their gender identity, with 77 percent changing the types of clothes they wear and 76 percent changing their hairstyle or grooming habits. Fewer have used hormone treatments (31 percent), legally changed their names (24 percent), or undergone gender-affirming surgery or other surgical treatments to change their physical appearance (16 percent).
https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2023/03/23/transgender-adults-transitioning-poll/
Assuming the stat is correct, the 3/4 of trannies who simply put on a dress (let’s call them “Kilngers’ 🤣) are the least crazy among them.
March 24th, 2023 at 9:54 am
I find it hilarious that Woolly and a few others flock to comment on every post regarding trans people don’t get the irony of complaining that it’s about so few people – then why are they so obsessed with it?
These laws shouldn’t even be necessary and wouldn’t be necessary if busybody Republicans who want to define their prejudices as the societal norm weren’t bending over backwards to hurt people whose existence challenges their worldview.
It’s not about that many people, so all of your apocalyptic scare-mongering about how it changes everything is nonsense. Just let people be. Let society find a way to accommodate everyone instead of just you. And soon you will find that reality isn’t as scary as you make it out to be just because there are people who are different than you.
March 24th, 2023 at 9:57 am
As an aside—It’s ironic that Swift and Woolly label Democrats and the LGBTQ community “groomers” while one of the top Minnesota Republican donors is literally on trial for sex trafficking teenage girls.
March 24th, 2023 at 2:18 pm
while one of the top Minnesota Republican donors is literally on trial for sex trafficking teenage girls.
Wasn’t said donor repudiated by pretty much everyone in the MNGOP and his donations returned or donated to charity?
Seems like inappropriate behavior/treatment of minors is a bug on the GOP side, but a feature for the Democrats.