SCENE: Mitch BERG is has just picked up a pound of coffee beans from the neighborhood coffee shop. As he leaves, he notices Avery LIBRELLE sitting at a table. BERG tries to look smaller, and starts to slink past to get to the door – but LIBRELLE notices him.
BERG: Oh…hey, Avery. What’s up?
LIBRELLE: I’m leaving comments on your blog.
LIBRELLE: They call you out for being the amoral conservative scumbag you really are!
BERG: Huh. Just like my mom always says.
LIBRELLE: Hah! I bet! And I do it under a pseudonym, so nothing I say will ever get back to me!
LIBRELLE: Because conservatives, being shriveled emotional husks of people, will track me down and attack me if they find out who is speaking truth to them!
BERG: Hmmm. Seems a little…hyper dramatic?
LIBRELLE: And my comments are really, really long, because I have a lot to say! Stuff that will enlighten the mouth-breathing morons that read your blog!
BERG: And I’m sure we’ll all appreciate it.
LIBRELLE: You should! I’m brilliant!
BERG: Huh. And then you’ll discuss the response to your comments? Because that is not only the purpose of my comment section, but really the entire benefit of having online comments; to have a conversation, something from which everyone learns.
LIBRELLE: Discussion? Are you kidding me? What do I, someone with thirty years experience as a liberal activist, have to learn from the brain-dead impotent fat bald hate-filled pieces of shit that read your garbage blog?
BERG: Huh. Well, I mean, among my regular commenters we have an M.D, a couple of engineers, a couple of scientists, some accountants, a lawyer or two, some writers – people who actually have to work with fact, logic and argumentation for a living. You might learn something.
LIBRELLE: From who?
Hey – just a suggestion, here. Don’t you have a blog of your own? “The LIbrelle Point Of View?” One where you are perfectly free to write anything you want, and have the discussions…
LIBRELLE: …no “discussions” on my blog. Any fat, bald, white, brain-dead pieces of crap who comment on my blog get blocked. Life’s too short for idiots and scumbags.
BERG: Anyway, why don’t you write these earth-shaking nuggets of truth on your own blog, since you don’t really intend to actually discuss your comments?
LIBRELLE: But I get like five readers a day on my blog. I can get the truth out to hundreds of people in your comment section.
LIBRELLE: Hey, grab me a large latte, skim, extra syrup, organic only, while you’re up.