(SCENE: Denise CARDINAL, head of Alliance for a Better Minnesota chair of the Minnesota DFL, wallks into her office, sits in an overstuffed chair)
(KEN MARTIN walks in to room).
MARTIN: “Hello…”
(MARTIN stops abruptly as CARDINAL motions downward with her index fingers. MARTIN sighs, gets on hands and knees in front of CARDINAL’s char. CARDINAL puts feet up on MARTIN’s back).
(REP. JOHN LESCH, who is minding the phones, buzzes in) “Mizz Cardinal, the party from the legislature is here to see you”.
CARDINAL: “Send them in please”.
(Tom BAKK, Paul THISSEN and Ryan WINKLER walk in. Each bows deeply toward CARDINAL).
CARDINAL: Rise!
(All three take seats in overstuffed chairs around the room).
CARDINAL: OK. What do we have?
BAKK: We think we have a plan!
THISSEN: Yes! A plan!
WINKLER: Heh! Heh heh heh!
CARDINAL: Let me hear it!
(THISSEN motions to WINKLER)
WINKLER: Well, there’s this group, the “American Legislative Exchange Council“, or “ALEC”. They are your run of the mill conservative activist group, run by Grover Norquist…
(BAKK, THISSEN and CARDINAL hiss theatrically)
WINKLER: …and they propose legislation and stuff, and lots of Republicans legislators have signed up with the group…
BAKK: And if we can spin them as some big, shadowy conspiracy that tells affiliated legislators do to Grover Norquist’s bidding…
THISSEN: Yeah! Grover Norquist!
WINKLER: Heh! Heh heh heh!
CARDINAL: Silence! I like it! Winkler?
(WINKLER bows deeply)
CARDINAL: Start telling people that ALEC is a powerful, unaccountable group that wields boundless resources to pull the strings at the Minnesota State Legislature…
LESCH (Buzzes in) Mizz Cardinal?
CARDINAL (enraged) WHAT?
LESCH: The Gentlemen are here.
CARDINAL: Thank you. Send them in.
(CARDINAL makes a hand gesture to BAKK, THISSEN and WINKLER, all of whom get up from their chairs and lie, face-down, on the floor, head-to-foot, from the door to CARDINAL’s chair)
(CARDINAL rises as Tom DOOHER enters the room in a long, black cape. He is accompanied by Javier MORILLO, who is wearing a long purple cape. DOOHER steps across WINKLER, THISSEN and BAKK’s backs to walk to CARDINAL, to whom he offers his hand. CARDINAL kisses his pinky ring).
DOOHER: Well?
CARDINAL, BAKK, THISSEN, WINKLER: We hear and obey.
MORILLO: You heard the man! SOUND OFF!
CARDINAL, BAKK, THISSEN, WINKLER: We hear and obey!
DOOHER: Very well. Stand up, for Minnesota’s students. (As BAKK, THISSEN and WINKLER stand, DOOHER takes BAKK’s seat. BAKK takes THISSEN’s, THISSEN takes WINKLER’s, who stands awkwardly).
DOOHER: Let us talk of the 2012 session…
(And SCENE).