Trulbert! Part XXIV – Immovable Objects

 - 5AM, November 5, 2015 – Highway 169, South Of Osseo, MN

Quist and his group of a dozen survivors of the massacre in Corcoran first fell upon a group of about twenty Methodists who were picking over whatever they’d left behind on the swathe of bloody rubble their raid had cut through Maple Grove. They’d stealthily surrounded the Methodists, and moved in for the kill.

It had been a slaughter.

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Bliss

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

The nation’s problems have been solved. They must be, if the Feds have nothing left to investigate besides painkiller use in the NFL to make sure million-dollar superstars aren’t taking drugs to help them win by playing while hurt.

I notice they didn’t investigate the Vikings. Nobody playing there, hurt or not.

Joe Doakes

It’s the fans that need the painkillers.

Trulbert! Part XXIII – Redemption’s Handmaiden

 - 10PM, November 3, 2015 – The Garage Behind The Hendrickson Residence, Minneapolis, MN

“Charlie?”

Hendrickson slowly got to his feet, shaking off the residue of the crippling anxiety attack.

“I know, Dad – don’t be stealing trucks.  I get that.  But from what Nicolai and Hana have been saying, if the Methodists have been taking all the beer, then if I learned anything from watching Boardwalk Empire, the beer is worth something…”

“But…”, Hendrickson searched for a follow-up thought.

“It was parked behind that school over on Minnehaha Parkway that the Methodists are using as a warehouse for stuff they’ve stolen.  Nobody was watching it.  I got away clean…”

“When did I let you watch Boardwalk Empire?”

Charlie didn’t have an answer for that.

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Creative Dissension

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

It’s be wonderful if Minnesota would strengthen its Constitutional protection of gun owners, as other states have. I’ve pointed out for years that the level of scrutiny is the key to winning court cases.

As was noted in the comments, adding “and we really mean it” to the Constitution does nothing when the judges are routinely ignoring the law, and the legislature won’t pull their funding to bring them into line. That’s what we need in this state and this nation: a good old-fashioned constitutional crisis. The Congress and the Minnesota legislature need to shut things down. Stop funding the court and the Executive Branch until they come into line with the powers enumerated in the state and federal Constitutions. Yes, we’ll get ripped in the media, but we’re going to get that anyway so we might as well get something for it.

Won’t happen with compromisers like Mitch McConnell in charge, of course; but if we can keep sending Tea Partiers, maybe someday . . . .

Joe Doakes

The hope is what keeps me in the GOP.

Open Letter To The New GOP Majorities

To:  New GOP Majorities in the MN House and US Congress
From: Mitch Berg, Uppity Peasant
Re:  Agenda

All,

Want something to show you’re serious about getting the boot of government off of innocent citizens’ necks? 

Reform civil-forfeiture laws.  Now. 

Including, preferably, eradicating laws that allow corrupt pettifoggers to run rackets with the blessing of “the law”. 

Do it now, so we can see who the real enemies are. 

That is all.

Trulbert! Part XXI – A Drip In Time

 - 7:00 AM, November 2, 2015 – The Hendrickson Residence, Minneapolis, MN

Nicolai Codriciu sat in the living room, sprawled on the couch he’d slept on for the second straight night.  It was chilly in the living room; he tugged the blanket a little closer…

…but sleep was hopeless.  He reached for the remote, as Paul Hendrickson padded down the stairs, and turned on the TV.  It was the morning show.  Amber Mounds and Juan Del Amore were talking about getting ready for the Vikings game.

I’ve never understood American football, he thought, as Hendrickson started a pot of coffee.

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The Sweetest Win

One of the brighter spots in Tuesday’s proceedings was the crushing victory of Peggy Bennett over Shannon Savick in Albert Lea. 

It was an old-fashioned whooping – 53-40.  Not even close.  And that was with an Indyparty candidate who took 6% out of the race, likely mostly from Bennett. 

I’m still doing the end-zone happy dance in my head. 

Shannon Savick was one of the DFLers from Greater Minnesota who supported Michael Paymar and Alice “The Phantom” Hausman’s gun grab bills in the 2013 legislature. 

And she was one of the DFLers who joined Hausman and Paymar in getting up and theatrically walking out of the hearing room when the Real Americans of the Second Amendment movement started their testimony against their proposals.  Indeed, the DFL made a shameful spetacle of ignoring their opponents’ testimony.

Watching their bills – and all of their support from Michael Bloomberg – go down to whining, piddling defeat – was sweet.  And it was what mattered most.

But seeing Shannon Savick tossed out of office with all the ceremony of a day old egg salad sandwich is right up there.

OK, Ms. Savick.  NOW you may get up and leave the room.

UPDATE:  It wasn’t just Savick – and it wasn’t just in Minnesota.  Gun grabbers were crushed nationwide.  It was lopsided in the Senate, of course – but the most astounding progress was among governors.

To sum it all up?  The NRA-endorsed candidate won in Maryland

Perhaps bigger, but definitely more subtle?  The flip of the Senate will at least slow down President Obama’s ongoing campaign to pack the Federal Appelate courts with gun-grabbing activists. 

It was a good Tuesday for Pro-Second-Amendment Real Americans from coast to coast.

Trulbert! Part XX – Night Of The Dark Soles

 - 6PM, November 1, 2015 – The Hendrickson Residence, South Minneapolis, MN

It’d taken Paul Hendricson, Dave Os and Dan-Marius Codriciu a couple of hours to walk back from Veteran’s Park, through a gentle snow flurry.

None of them talked much.  , The three men kept pretty much to back alleys and drowsy side streets as they walked back.

I always loved the way Minneapolis looks during the first big snowfall of the year, Paul Hendrickson thought.  It covers up the grime and the crap and the problems in a nice coat of pure white.  He’d always loved winter…

…well, let’s not get crazy, here. He chuckled silently.  Not the January and February and March kind of winter, with the traffic jams and the road snot in the wheel wells and the endless dreary cold and the snow all hard and icy?  No.  But from now to about Christmas – when the snow was still the fluffy, warm-weather variety, the kind that muffled the noises of the city?  It reminded him of when Charlie was a baby, in the early winter, sitting up during late-night feedings, rocking and listening to Charlie slurping up the bottle and watching the snow out on the street, feeling…

…at peace.

Sort of the opposite of how he felt now.

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Unicorns Vote 100% Third Party!

SCENE:   Mitch BERG is biking in the southwest suburbs.  He pulls over into a coffee shop.

As he sits down, he notices Stephanie Marie ANNAN, Community Organizer for the Minnesota 5th CD Libertarian party.   She is wearing capri pants and a t-shirt with “He Gave His Only Begotten Son”, and a picture of Ron Paul walking across the water toward the camera.

ANNAN:  Hey, Mitch.

BERG:  Hey, Stephanie Marie.  Ready for the election.

ANNAN:  Yep.  I’m voting Libertarian. 

BERG:  Kinda figured.  So – why? 

ANNAN:  Because big changes need to happen.

BERG:  Yeah, that’s true.  That’s why I’m voting for Jeff Johnson as many times as Mark Richie will let me get away with it. 

ANNAN:  He won’t bring any changes.  The GOP is just as big a part of the problem as the DFL is. 

BERG:  Er…why do you say that?

ANNAN:  When people put the GOP in power, they were just as bad as the Democrats.  There is no difference between the parties. 

BERG:  Yeah, the GOP can be frustrating.  Although you’re oversimplifying.  Bobby Jindal has made a huge difference in Louisiana; under his leadership, the New Orleans Public Schools went all charter.  Other GOP governors – Pence, Haley, Walker, Martinez – have made inroads in reducing the size and power of government.  The GOP – and GOP candidates – have made a difference at limiting government and its impact over the years.   Reagan’s tax cuts were a huge help…

ANNAN:  Reagan grew the deficit!  He raised taxes!

BERG:   Bingo.  You’re making my point for me.  Reagan, being a Republican president dealing with a Democrat Congress run by a big-government ward heeler like Tip O’Neill, had to make compromises.  One of those compromises was that he had to trust O’Neill to keep up his end of the bargain on cutting spending – which, of course, he didn’t.  And for all of that, his “tax hikes” were a fraction of his tax cuts, and they happened at a time when the economy was humming along.  If you don’t think Reagan’s tax cuts in the early eighties helped immensely with the recession, you’re dreaming. 

Anyway – the GOP in 1994 made a huge difference in paring back Bill Clinton’s megalomania.  Remember “Hillary Care?”  Either does anyone else.  And the Tea Party class of the GOP, the people elected in 2010, have largely kept their promises. 

ANNAN:  But the Minnesota GOP had the governor’s office from 2002 to 2010, and the House until 2008, and both chambers in 2011 and 2011, and nothing changed. 

BERG:  Plenty changed.  “Republican” used to mean Arne Carlson.  It used to mean “go along with the DFL in turning surpluses into more permanent spending”. 

ANNAN:  The GOP raised the budget in 2011, and built the stadium. 

BERG:  Yep.  And both were wrong.  And in neither case did the Tea Party class of 2010 go along, at least without a fight. 

ANNAN:  Bla bla bla.  The GOP always compromises.

BERG:  Parts of the GOP – the older, “Moderate” wing of the party, especially, which still exerts way too much control over the party at the Capitol – certainly does.  Parties don’t change overnight.   The GOP still caves in on way too much.  It’s improving, as conservatives slowly replace moderates. 

And let’s be honest; Minnesota is a blueish purple state at best.   Minnesota is split between various shades of red and hard, deep blue.   When a conservative goes to Saint Paul, and wants to get anything done, compromise is inevitable.  There is no way anyone who gets elected to office as a conservative in Minnesota doesn’t have to defile the purity of their principles at some point or another. 

ANNAN: Yeah, well, I’m sick of voting for the lesser of two evils all the time.  I’m going to vote my absolute, pure principles and vote Libertarian. 

BERG:   And that way, you’ll promote liberty.

ANNAN:  Yep.  

BERG:  So let me get this straight; you won’t vote for Republicans because previous generations of Republicans have had to compromise the purity of their principles when they actually got into a room with the other side and had to actually try to get things done, to say nothing of having to stop the other side from getting worse things, like daycare unionization and gun control, done. 

ANNAN:   Yep. 

BERG:  And you’ll vote for someone who’s never had to test the purity of his precious principles by trying to enact any kind of policy at all, much less over the votes of a legislature that is at least 50% completely hostile to everything your candidate says. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I could see myself supporting Rand Paul for President.   

ANNAN:  Ew.  He’s abandoned his principles.  Not like Doctor Paul.

BERG:  You’re proving my point.  “Doctor” Paul never got elected to anything outside of a House district in Texas.  And for all his big talk about policy – auditing the fed, disengaging abroad, yadda yadda – he admits, albeit quietly, that he never could have done it.  He had no support in Congress. 

ANNAN:  Why do you hate liberty?

BERG:  Actually, I clearly respect liberty more than you do. 

ANNAN:  Hah!  How can you say that? 

BERG:  Because the only way you’re going to get your agenda passed is to elect a libertarian monarch who takes office, sweeps away a century of noxious policy by decree, and then steps down.  Hopefully.  And that’s fine, if “magical thinking” is good enough for you.   But that’s really all voting for a third party gets you.  A third party vote is a wasted vote.

ANNAN:  It wasn’t with Jesse Ventura!  He had principles and he stuck with them!

BERG:  No, he didn’t.  He ran on a promise of returning the entire plus to the people. And once he got elected, he had to deal with the fact that was a governor with no caucus in the legislature – two Democrats flipped over to the Independence Party over the next year, and that was it. So we had to run with his hat in hand to Roger Moe, the DFLSenate majority leader, and cut deals like a madman. Meaning that about a third of the surplus got paid back. And the rest of it got turned into permanent spending, the way the DFL wanted.

So where was the principal?

ANNAN:  He sent a message!

BERG: Yep. And that message was “voting for a third-party candidate is of nothing but symbolic value”.

ANNAN:  (Plugs ears, turns, starts running).  Bla bla blaaaaa can’t year youuuuuuu bla bla bla bla bla).

[And SCENE]

Trulbert! Part XIX – A Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With A Single Scream

-  3:00PM, November 1, 2015 – A Block East of Fake It Til You Make It School, Minneapolis, MN

The coffee shop was still safe and sound.  Hana and Traian had grabbed a few valuables, locked things down a little tighter, and gotten back on the road with Lynn.

It was a fairly brisk mile to the school.  They avoided blocks where it looked like “Fairness Patrols” were working, which took a little extra time.

The three turned the corner – and saw the school grounds crawling with Methodists.  Above the front door, and over the hastiliy-painted “Fake It Til You Make It” sign, was a banner; “Fairness Academy”.

Lynn stood for a second, frozen, like a ball of Icy Hot was in her stomach.

“We should go”, said Hana.

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We Warned You

We were warned; if we voted for Mitt Romney, free speech would evaporate.

And they were right; Obama’s FEC is moving to regulate online political speech, including this blog

Late Friday, Ann M. Ravel, the Democratic vice chair of the Federal Elections Commission, said the FEC would begin the process to regulate Internet-based campaigns and videos which are currently free from oversight by the federal government. The Washington Examiner’s Paul Bedard said one Republican FEC chairman, Lee E. Goodman, warned that anyone who writes a political blog, a politically active news site or even a chat room, could be regulated….Earlier in the year, Bedard noted, Goodman warned that Democrats on the panel were gunning for conservative websites like the extremely popular Drudge Report, a site that typically sees some 30 million visits per day.

The beef is ostensibly about political groups disseminating videos via blogs and social media that would be regulated on television. 

But then, they’d manage that by regulating everyone who links or carries the content.  Which, in plain English, means regulating political content in all social media, including here on Shot In The Dark.

Not only is it imperative that the Democrats lose and lose big next month – it’s even more imperative that the GOP actually provide a meaningful alternative.

“The Most Dictatorial President We’ve Ever Had”

Watch this video starring Ted Nugent, Sean Hannity and Michael Savage, in which President Obama is called…well, exactly that.

UPDATE:  I lied.  It’s not Nugent, Hannity and Savage.  It’s Nat Hentoff, liberal civil libertarian and godfather of the ACLU.  He’s a liberal – but he has been committed enough to actual civil liberty over the decades that he’s even pissed liberals off at him…

Trulbert! Part XVIII – In The Thick Of The Dawn

 - 04:45AM, November 1, 2015 – The Hendrickson Residence, Minneapolis, MN

Paul Hendrickson was exhausted to his core.  But he couldn’t sleep.

They’d taken a while to get everyone settled into the cozy, tidy bungalow; Traian and Stefan both flopped on the couch, their heads at either end; Nicolau and  Dave Os curled up on easy chairs in the family room.  Jessica Hardman and Hana Codriciu shared the guest room; Dan-Marius slept on the hallway floor outside the guest room door, wrapped in a borrowed blanket.

Paul and Lynn Hendrickson lay, flopped on their bedspread, still wearing the clothes they’d worn all day.

“How are you, hon?” Paul asked his wife.

“Oh, I don’t know”, she started, sounding exhausted.  “The world is going crazy.  There are people with machine guns in the streets.  I have a house full of armed Romanians.  One of my daughters is a cold-eyed sniper, and the other does a Dennis Miller impression that sounds more like Dennis Leary.  My husband just got blown up and shot at twice”.

“Four times”.

“Four times.  My husband got shot at four times”.

She yawned, as Paul wrapped his arms around her.  She laid her head on his bicep.

“All and all, it’s sucked”, she murmured.

“Sleep tight” Paul whispered.  “Tomorrow is another day”.

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Trulbert! Part XVII – Between Heaven And Richfield

 - 12:00AM, November 1, 2015 – Somewhere Between Heaven And Hell

All was bliss.

“Freeks and Geeks” was on.  Hell, it was still on the air – new, original first-run productions.  Better than the original.  So was “Arrested Development”, come to think of it.  And “The Sopranos”, and ”The Wire”.  Simultaneously.

And on the radio, the Vikings had just won their third straight Super Bowl.

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Trulbert! Part XVI – The Tracer Dance

 - 7:43 PM, October 31, 2015 – Corner of LaSalle/Blaisdell and Franklin, Minneapolis, MN

Paul Hendrickson never heard the 14.5mm KPV machine gun on Todd Chuffle’s truck fire.  He was dimly aware of a blinding flash.

But mostly, he sensed the back of his Toyota Camry getting violently slammed to the right, causing him to slew to the left.

He corrected hard to the right and jammed on the gas – but although the engine whined and the tachometer redlined, the car slowed, and its movement got more labored, as the sounds of grinding and smell of burned rubber and hot metal seeped in.  The car ground to a stop just around the corner, sheltered by a building.

“Holy crap”, he exhaled, sensing the car was tilting backward.

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Democrats: Pissing On The First Amendment

In Houston last summer, the Democrat-run government passed an “anti-discrimination” ordinance which, like most such ordinances, did little about discrimination but did sodomize freedom of association.   It was opposed by a variety of religious groups, for a variety of reasons.

But that was just the warmup.

Perhaps inspired by Barack Obama’s siccing of the IRS against dissenters, Houston’s Democrat-run city government is looking for payback against dissenters; it’s subpoenaing ministers’ sermons from the run-up to the vote for the ordinance.

That’s subpoenaing; not just sternly asking:

The city of Houston has issued subpoenas demanding a group of pastors turn over any sermons dealing with homosexuality, gender identity or Annise Parker, the city’s first openly lesbian mayor. And those ministers who fail to comply could be held in contempt of court.

“The city’s subpoena of sermons and other pastoral communications is both needless and unprecedented,” Alliance Defending Freedom attorney Christina Holcomb said in a statement. “The city council and its attorneys are engaging in an inquisition designed to stifle any critique of its actions.”

ADF, a nationally-known law firm specializing in religious liberty cases, is representing five Houston pastors. They filed a motion in Harris County court to stop the subpoenas arguing they are “overbroad, unduly burdensome, harassing, and vexatious.”

Dear Wisconsin “Jon Doe” prosecutors; I take it back.  You are no longer the most corrupt pettifoggers south of the Fed.

And this is not an aberration.  This is every Democrat, everywhere in the country.  Oh, they make nice noises about “liberties” like making dung statues of the Virgin Mary and waving their genitals around in public; but when it comes to the real ones, speech (by people not favored by the ACLU’s ministrations, meaning people from flyoverland in general), assembly, association, the fruits of ones labor, self-defense, self-determination?

If your local Democrats haven’t sicced the IRS, or a prosecutor, or their county attorney, on you yet, it’s just that they haven’t had a clear opportunity yet. 

All eggs to be broken to make the state omelet.

PS:  Don’t you dare say there’s a war on religion.

Trulbert! Part XV – Gone South

 - 7:29 PM, October 31, 2015 – Dripping With Irony Coffee Shop, Minneapolis, MN

“What is he saying?” Dan-Marius Codriciu asked his sister in Romanian.  His English had always been weaker than Hana’s, especially when the speaker wasn’t in the blue-collar warehouse worker vernacular that Dan-Marius had learned in his five years in America.

“It looks like he’s telling the people to get up and join him?” Hana said, not quite believing what she was watching.

There were maybe ten people sitting drinking coffee and eating bakery goods in her little coffee shop on East Lake Street.  As every Sunday evening, the TV was tuned to “We’ve Got Issues”.  But this was no dry discussion of school board elections or corruption in the Richfield Water Department.

 “Rise up! Rise up and seize this moment! For they may have taken our pensions, and our programs, and our security – but they can never, ever take our birthright!” said the man – Myron Ilktost – on the screen.

“Dan-Marius”, Hana said, in Romanian, nearly in a whisper, “call the cousins.  Have them get down here.  Now”.

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Because I’m Here To Solve Problems

Police departments – at least, some that Mother Jones talked with – are ostensibly trying to get rid of surplus military gear:

Even before police militarization made the news, hundreds of police departments were finding that grenade launchers, military firearms, and armored vehicles aren’t very useful to community policing. When Chelan County police officers requested one armored car in 2000—the request that landed them three tanks—they pictured a vehicle that could withstand bullets, not land mines. Law enforcement agencies across the country have quietly returned more than 6,000 unwanted or unusable items to the Pentagon in the last 10 years, according to Defense Department data provided to Mother Jones by a spokeswoman for Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.), who has spearheaded a Senate investigation of the Pentagon program that is arming local police. Thousands more unwanted items have been transferred to other police departments.

The catch?  The Pentagon doesn’t really want it all back.  It’s cheaper to let local cops maintain it than to keep it in Federal storage.

Which is vexing some cops:

In reality, however, police departments may find the returns process slow, mystifying, or nonfunctional. Online law enforcement message boards brim with complaints that the Pentagon refuses to take back unwanted guns and vehicles—like this one, about a pair of M14 rifles that have survived attempts by two sheriffs to get rid of them.

I’ve got an obvious answer – one that’ll make cops, the Pentagon and citizens (the right ones, anyway) happy: sell it to private citizens.  Or at least the private citizens that pass the same background check that qualifies them for a state carry permit.  It’ll save government money, and make the country safer by making Real Americans better-armed.

Facetious?   Halfway.  A fair chunk of this equipment could, and should by all rights, be going into the “Civilian Marksmanship Program”.  But Barack Obama has been sandbagging the CMP for the past six years – which is why the price of surplus M-1 Garand rifles (from WW2 and the Korean War) is so very high these days.

But I digress.

And I’m about to digress some more; it’d seem we have some real powderpuffs in uniform (empasis added):

[Hillsborough NC police lieutenant Davis] Trimmer has twice requested permission to return three M14 rifles that are too heavy for practical use.

“Too heavy for practical use?”  They weight eight pounds.  Our troops lugged them all over Vietnam, for crying out loud.

Maybe the lieutenant was referring to carrying all three of them together?

Turn them over to me, if that’d help…

Trulbert! Part XIV – Trick Or Death

-5PM, Octoer 31, 2015 – The Hendrickson Residence, Minneapolis, MN

Paul and Lynn Hendrickson sat on their front porch.  The first of the trick-or-treaters were out on the street; Lynn dipped into a bowl of fun-size TacoBars for the little kids, and handed out airplane bottles of vodka to the adults; they appreciated it.  There was a brisk nip in the air.  Winter would be here soon.

The door opened, and the kids came out.

Abby was first; she was dressed as a large sheet of paper; over her face, she wore a nylon stocking with a question mark on the forehead.

“Wow, Abby – I’m stumped.  So what are you?”, asked Paul.

“I’m the authors of the Federalist Papers”.

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Trulbert! Part XIII – The Shrieking Of Autumn Leaves

- 10:00 AM, October 29, 2015; Offices of Claimtech Enterprises, Minneapolis, MN

“There’s good news, and there’s bad news”, Shirley Bleagelle said, firing up a presentation on her laptop.

“Let’s get the good news first”, said Robert Roberts, sitting at the head of the table, playing with a Blackberry.

“OK”, said Jim Perforate (pronounced per-for-ah-TAY). “On the one hand, we’re still growing. More and more parts of the upper Midwest are using the Cud as their primary currency, and the converter apps are selling like botox at a Kardashian family reunion, and the currency exchange is making a metric poo-ton of money”.

“Excellent!”, said Roberts.

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