So Let Me See If I Got This Straight

Democrat operatives, November 7, 2016:  “Our electoral system is rock solid, there is no election fraud, the results we get are impeccable, and failing to accept its results is paranoia and maybe treason.

Democrat operatives, November 26, 2016:  “We can not accept the results of the election in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania, because our election system is rife with fraud and easily hacked by…Russians”.

Make no mistake, this isn’t about trying to get Hillary into the White House; it’s about trying to delay three large states’ electoral vote totals long enough to throw the election to the Congress, thereby giving Democrats leverage to try to illegitimize President-Elect Trump, give the demented Democrat chanting classes a bloody shirt to wave at the ignorant for the next 4-8 years, and set up a narrative in which Hillary – among the wealthiest, most powerful people in the world – is a victim.

Artificial Sweetener

This may be hard to believe, but I truly do try to see the best in people.  I really do.  I actively try to find ways to find empathy with people, even – or especially – with people I disagree with.

For example, while I agree with nothing Barack Obama did as president, I always figured he was a decent human and a good father.  Time will tell, of course.

So when I first heard the story of the woman who ran into Hillary Clinton on a stroll in the woods the day after the election – which seemed to be a story of a plaintive, human moment – I wanted it to be legitimate.

Of course, doubts nagged at me. Hillary Clinton, walking in the woods without a Secret Service perimeter?

Much as part of me wanted it to be a legitimate story, it nagged at me.

As always, the nagging was for good reason.

If it’s the Clintons, it’s pure artifice.

Dear Democrats

To:  All Democrats
From:  Mitch Berg, Ornery Peasant
Re:  Prescription

Democrats,

What this guy said.

You didn’t go far enough to the left.

So let’s endeavour (Canadian spelling! Wou hou!) to:

  • Condescend to the working class more
  • Write more editorials sniffing down your nose about the “Best Interests” of “Flyover Land”
  • Insult gun owners more!

You can do it!

Liberal Logic

Near as I can figure, it’s:

Step 1:  Run around waving signs, chanting chants, burning things and looting things and attacking people and vandalizing dissenters’ property (actually property dissenters rent…):

Anti-Trumpkins vandalized the GOP headquarters... ...no. They vandalized the building where the GOP rents space for its headquarters. The property owners will now have to remove the vandalism or get a ticket from the city. Not the GOP. The vandals.

Anti-Trumpkins vandalized the GOP headquarters…
…no. They vandalized the building where the GOP rents space for its headquarters.
The property owners will now have to remove the vandalism or get a ticket from the city.
Not the GOP. The property’s owners.

…and block highways.

Step 2:  Trump resigns.

Dear protesters:  please keep it up.  The GOP will gain seats in the mid-terms.

Why I’m Voting For Hillary Clinton

This has been a tough election season.  It’s hard to make a choice, honestly.   As I’ve noted in this space, I don’t much care for Donald Trump, for reasons that go back three decades.

But after thinking a long, long time, I’ve come to the realization that there really is only one valid choice for President:  Hillary Rodham Clinton.

This may come as a surprise to those of you who’ve been reading my blog this past fifteen years.  I’m not just a Republican – I’m a conservative.

And yet, here I am.

Why?

For The Girls:  Donald Trump’s on-camera japes about women ten years ago were nauseating.

I want America’s women to learn the right lessons:  that any little girl who goes to an “elite” university, marries up, and spends decades ignoring her husband’s abuses, and slandering hubby’s accusers, can make it big in this country.

And when women are victimized by sexual predators, we need to take them seriously.  They are, indeed, a serious threat to your gravy train.   Women need to get out there, call those tramps out for the crazies, stalkers and publicity whores they really are, and get back to business, for everyone’s best interests!

Opening Up The US!  The US is not an island.  We are part of a global community.

And as such, like any other business in a community, we need to separate the serious discussion from the background noise.

And nobody has more experience than Hillary at filtering the serious conversations – those backed by enough money to matter – out from the background noise.

Laws Are For Little People:  Running a democracy is a big job.  Big  jobs have big responsibilities.  The people with those responsibilities need to be able to pick and choose the laws they follow to do their work For The People.

Priorities!:  Relax, shooters.  Hillary’s not coming for your guns!

She’s going to appoint Supreme Court justices who will, on command, overturn Heller and McDonald, throwing control over gun laws back to the states and cities, subjecting tens of millions of Americans to having their rights sodomized by some of our most repugnant politicians.

But Hillary won’t be leading the SWAT team into your house personally, herself, so she will bear no responsibility for this, and you don’t dare hold it against her.  Sexist pig.

And finally…:  I realized that the only reason not to vote for her was that she was a woman, rather than a man with a mediocre record as a back-bench Senator, and a Secretary of State whose sole achievement (deposing a second-rate Libyan dictator, with the unintended consequence of creating a vacuum into which all manner of radicals have flowed) would make him a deservedly obscure figure in public life, and whose “foundation” would make Al Capone look like Fulton Sheen.

Nope.  The only reason anyone could possibly oppose her is her gender.   And I’m just better than that.

Of course, I hasten to remind you that  after 9/11, while in the Senate, she did a lot of work helping out victims and first responders.  AKA, “her job”, just like the rest of Congress.

Conclusions:  This country needs someone who can both give The People the platitudes they need, while making the light rail run on time.

I think the choice is clear and obvious.

UPDATE:  One more reason I’ll be voting for Hillary:  if she’s President, I won’t have to write pieces like this anymore.  When she engineers the reversal of Citizens United, all political criticism will be considered “in-kind political spending” and regulated by the Federal Elections Commission.  So I won’t have to do it, because the professionals will take care of it!

POSTSCRIPT:  If you’re a Hillary supporter, feel free to sound off.

Unless you’re a commenter who’s made a habit of leaving long, fact-challenged comments and not reading the response.  I’ve given you homework; until you do it, your posts are being moderated.

Somewhere In Virginia

SCENE:  FBI Director James COMEY drives up to his house, in a cozy northern Virginia suburb of DC.

As he gets out of his car, he notes Huma ABEDIN, sitting on his porch.  

He takes his briefcase and walks toward her.

ABEDIN:  Good day, Mr. Comey.

COMEY:  Ms. Abedin, you know I can’t communicate with you during an investigation,

ABEDIN:   You can’t talk about the investigation.  This is a social call.

COMEY:  Do tell.

ABEDIN:  Purely social.

(ABEDIN pulls out a manila envelope)

COMEY:  Social?

ABEDIN:  Sure.  I wanted to talk family.

(She pulls out an 8×10 photo and a sheet of paper from the envelope and hands it to COMEY)

COMEY:  What the…?

ABEDIN:   Nice looking grandkids, there.  Aaron, age six, who attends Holy Cross Elementary school, takes the 4 bus, gets to school at 8:30 and leaves at 2:30, plays soccer with the Hippo team at Wartford Rec Center, and…Emiliy age four, attends the Rutherford Crossing pre-school from 9AM to noon.  Children of your daughter, if I’m not mistaken.

COMEY:  So you want…

ABEDIN:  You know what I want.

(ABEDIN rises, leaves)

COMEY:  (Sighs, resignedly dials number on cell phone)

And SCENE

Be Careful Out There

I suspect that Hillary Clinton has enough states with enough electoral votes to win the election – at that the vote-generation systems in her blue-city base of operations will generates any votes needed to give her the win.  1

And while any given liberal is no more likely to be violent than any given conservative, the fact is that when liberals get scared – and they are always terrified about something – some of them get violent.

In late July an unidentified 60-year-old man was shot in the leg at Winston’s Bar on Cleveland’s East Side. His assailant, Darnell Hall, 45, shot him after their discussion of presidential politics grew heated. The attacker “was enraged that anyone in the overwhelmingly African-American bar would support the GOP nominee,” the Plain Dealer reports. Hall later surrendered to police and was charged with felonious assault.
Two UCLA students told Sean Hannity on Oct. 25 they’ve seen a lot of anti-Trump violence on campus. Haley Nieves said protesters crashed one of their pro-Trump rallies. “They were stomping on the American flag during the event and even attempting to burn it afterward.” Dominique Blair said, “You face crazy leftist mobs that are not tolerant of your views whatsoever, and it turns into a lot of bad debates. Sometimes violent, sometimes hitting and fights. I’ve been all around it.” Blair added, “I am treated very poorly on my campus and other campuses. It’s very hard to be a conservative activist in Los Angeles.”

Given the amount of ink the left’s media has expended fretting about largely nonexistent violence on the right, you can expect the left to act out badly over the next couple days.

And if Hillary somehow loses?

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

1 – If you’re a regular commenter prone to claiming nobody can see, hear or say anything about vote fraud, do not bother leaving a comment until you have resonded tothis question it in detail.  I’m done playing games.

Pulpit Abuse

The Twin Cities Social Justice militia has been carping about Henco sheriff Rich Stanek “sending” Henco deputies to help North Dakota law enforcement deal with the Dakota Access Pipeline protests.

This, partially at the behest of Governor Lieutenant Governor Tina Flint-Smith, who has been using her position to flog the issue on Facebook:

I do not support Sheriff Stanek’s decision to send his deputies to North Dakota, nor did we approve his decision to begin with. I do not have any control over the Sheriff’s actions, which I think were wrong, and I believe he should being his deputies home, if he hasn’t already. I strongly support the rights of all people to peacefully protest, including, tonight, the Standing Rock protest.

Of course, the Governor Lieutenant Governor and former state chair of Infanticide R Us is lying:

In a blistering letter of his own, Sheriff Stanek schooled the legislators on how the mobilization materialized when state homeland security officials responded to an urgent request from North Dakota.

The Governor’s Office and the State of Minnesota authorized the mission, signed the contract, secured the reimbursement agreement and approved the plan two days before deputies departed for North Dakota.

The request came in under the Emergency Management Assistant Compact (EMAC) system adopted in all 50 states to make sure essential personnel and resources are made available for any catastrophe that occurs anywhere in the country.

The Governor’s office – Tina Flint-Smith and her audioanimatronic puppet Mark Dayton – are playing both sides of this issue for political gain.

Rubber V. Glue

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Hillary ran a private email server and deleted emails.  She has variously tried to claim that everybody does it, that Colin Powell said it was okay, that nobody ever told her it was wrong.  Newsweek chimed in with: Bush Did it Too

 So that makes it okay?  No – wrong is wrong, no matter how many other people did it.  Whining that He Did It Too is the old False Moral Equivalence defense.  Most people quit using it after Third Grade.

 Raising that defense is worse than childish, it’s incriminating.  Hillary left the White House to join the Senate in 2001.  She was a member of Congress while they were investigating the Bush Administration’s use of email.  That means she knew damned well the private server was a problem, but she went right ahead and did it anyway.

 I always knew the mainstream media was biased but it has dropped all pretense of objectivity in its desperate struggle to drag Hillary across the finish line.  Hillary won’t be the only loser in this election.

 Joe Doakes

With all due respect to my friends and acquaintances and former colleagues in the media (whom I hope land on their feet, pinky swear), one can only hope so.

Evidence

SCENE:    At the garden center.  Mitch BERG is taking advantage of late-season blowouts when Avery LIBRELLE, carrying a lawn flamingo, steps around the corner, catching BERG by surprise. 

LIBRELLE:  Merg!  You keep claiming there’s vote fraud.  And yet there is not.  There never has been and there never will be.

BERG:  Well, the evidence in  California and Chicago and Philadelphia and Maryland and Florida and a key and very swingy district in Virginia and Mississippi and of course right here in Minnesota says you’re wrong.

LIBRELLE:  But the Brennan Center said there is no voter fraud!

BERG:  Leaving aside the fact that the Brennan Center is pretty much devoted to undermining self-government and making society safe for our “elite” better to govern as they see fit, their “sources” were pretty much all election authorities confirming that nothing is wrong, nosirreebob.  In most states where the fraud happens, it’s almost impossible to convict anyone for even the most bald-faced vote fraud.

LIBRELLE:  But there’s more evidence!

BERG:  Aaaand what’s that?

LIBRELLE:  You’re racist.  Hah!

(LIBRELLE turns and runs for the door)

BERG:  Clearly.

(And SCENE)

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Oooh, look there; an article about vote fraud.  Feel free to leave a comment in the comment section.

Unless, of course, you are one of the commenters who’s made a habit of leaving extremely long, usually off-topic, usually condescending comments, purporting to “fact-check” my content, but usually proving only that you’re a terrible researcher with no command of logic:

You’ll need to respond in depth to this question in a previous thread.  And respond to the responses.  And then I will start letting your comments out of moderation.  And only then.  Your call.  No skin off my teeth).

Every Saint Paul Republican’s Fantasy

When you’re a conservative/Republican in Saint Paul, you get used to having your campaign lawn signs stolen or vandalized.

“It’s just kids”, the local DFLers say – but then you notice your neighbors’ Obama and Hillary and Betty McCollum and, probably as late as 2010, Wellstone signs are utterly unmolested.

And ideas – dreams, really – form in your head.  Dreams that are probably illegal.  Given that it’s Saint Paul, they’re likely illegal to dream.

In Michigan, a woman got tired of tolerant liberals driving on her lawn to knock over her Trump signs.  So she took direct action.

And boy, did it pay off:

14907130_10207766269657967_5535876387041776277_n

She put a homemade spike strip under one of her signs.

14900593_10207766269737969_2737201481463510343_n

One tolerant liberal wrote a check she couldn’t cash; after blowing out a tire, she couldn’t actually change the tire.  She had to call for help.

14906870_10207766270017976_8545233657434118460_n

Giving me idea?  Oh, heck yeah.

A Slip Of The Lip. Or Typing Finger. Whatever.

Preya Samsundar continues to beat the stuffing out of the Twin Cities institutional media in reporting on Minneapolis DFL legislative candidate Ilhan Omar’s fuzzy marital history.

DFLMinistryofTruth140

Only this time, she may have done it with the unwitting help of the City Pages’ DFLer-with-byline Cory Zurowski:

Whether or not Mr. Zurowski realizes it, he has shed new light into the Omar case. The story, which was originally published on Wednesday, October 26, Mr. Zurowski wrote that Ilhan Omar’s father is named “Nur Said Elmi Mohamed”. A day later, Zurowski’s article was changed and now Omar’s father’s name appears in the article as “Nur Omar Mohamed”.

Read the whole thing.

And then ask yourselves why nobody in the Twin Cities media is covering this story.

To use a Glenn Reynolds line, it helps if you think of reporters as Democrat operatives with bylines.  Who, in this case, don’t want to be barred from the Saint Paul Grill.

A Sincere Question

I have left-of-center friends who say, with a completely straight face, that Hillary Clinton is “the most qualified person in history”.

chanting_points_200px

Qualified?  Perhaps.  Let’s leave her marriage and serial covering for a sexual predator out of it; her resume includes quite a number of punched political tickets.

But “most qualified in history?”   Someone please explain.  Because “history” is a very long time (although I’m pretty convinced liberals understand it as poorly as they do economics).

Because she’s a former Secretary of State?  Leaving aside the fact that she was a terrible SecState who may have bested (worsted?) Madeline Albright for the title of “Worst SecState of my lifetime” (and possibly all time), what was her big accomplishment, other than racking up a lot of miles in VIP jets?   And leaving that aside – there’ve been six Secretaries of State who became President, many of them with records much better than Clinton’s.  Even James Buchanan, who went on to become one of the worst presidents of all time, left a more positive legacy as our nation’s top diplomat than Clinton did.

In the Senate?   She was thoroughly undistinguished.   But for her name and PR presence, she was a mediocre senator at best.

If she were a man, and not the (ahem) “spouse” of a former president, she’d be waaaay back in the pack.  A nobody.  An also-ran – assuming that analogous male could have gotten elected to anything anyway.

Seriously – what is her “qualification?”

 (I’ll acknowledge all the usual “she has ovaries” responses in advance.  I’m actually trying to figure out why libs think what they do.  I have my suspicions).

Berg’s Seventh Law Is Universal And Immutable, Part MXMVI

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Democrats claimed Hillary’s emails were not classified when sent, they were retroactively changed from unclassified to classified to make Hillary look bad.

 That always seemed a bit odd to me.  Why would the Democrat administration be trying to harm the Democrat candidate? 

 Now, it turns out the opposite was true – the Democrat administration pressured the FBI to un-classify emails that already were classified, trying to make Hillary look good.

 More confirmation of the wisdom of Berg’s Seventh Law of Liberal Projection.

 Joe Doakes

It never fails.

Never.

Climate Of Hate, Part MMMCMLXXX

GOP office in heavily-Democrat suburban Durham, North Carolina was firebombed over the weekend…

…and sprayed with crude, threatening graffiti.

nc-firebomb

Hillary Clinton and NC state Democrats condemned the attack – and the police currently have no suspects (although if anyone wants to take the bet that they were Democrats, most likely college-age, feel free to write the check in advance).

The incident rated only the most cursory coverage in the national media, if any.

Is anyone as shocked as I am?

The Source Of All Slime

SCENE:  Mitch BERG is walking into the Russian Tea House on University Avenue for some piroshki and borscht.  As he walks up the steps, Avery LIBRELLE is walking out.  BERG can’t avoid LIBRELLE; the meeting is inevitable.  

LIBRELLE:  Merg!

BERG:  Er…hey, Avery.   Didn’t know you liked Russian food.

LIBRELLE:   I don’t.  I was just going door to door looking for contributions to my new PAC.

BERG:  Huh.  Did you get anything?

LIBRELLE:   Not yet.

BERG:   Well, hey, I’m just gonna grab some…

LIBRELLE:  So shame on your for accusing Hillary Clinton of spreading the “Birther” rumor!  I fact-checked you by going to “AllTheFactsYouNeedToKnowAboutPolitics.com”, a production of the Non-Partisan Center For Non-Partisan Progress, and they said that Hillary never, ever, personally used the word “Birther”.

BERG:   Nobody said she did it personally.  Her campaign used surrogates to do it.

LIBRELLE:  But she didn’t do it personally, so you’re a liar and a hypocrite!

BERG:   So if someone’s campaign spreads information, but the candidate doesn’t do it himself, then the candidate is blameless.

LIBRELLE:   Right!

BERG:   By that logic, the Holocaust never happened, since Hitler didn’t personally kill a single Jew.

LIBRELLE:   Let me check with AllTheFactsYouNeedToKnowAboutPolitics.com when I get to the library.

BERG:   Right.  And the fact that Hillary’s campaign spread the “Obama is a Muslim” rumor never happened, since the words “Obama is a muslim” never crossed Hillary’s lips?

LIBRELLE:  That’s correct.  If the candidate doesn’t say it, it never happened.

BERG:  Gotcha.

LIBRELLE:  Hey – wanna donate to my PAC?

(And SCENE)

Everything Is Exactly As Predicted

Alan Schulkin, Democrat member of NYC’s voting commission, admits that vote fraud is rampant in New York, and that some sort of ID requirement would be a great idea:

While discussing the potential for fraud, Schulkin volunteered that in some parts of the city, “they bus people around to vote . . . They put them in a bus and go poll site to poll site.”

Asked which neighborhoods, Schulkin said, “I don’t want to say.”

When the undercover mentions black and Hispanic neighborhoods, Schulkin responded, “Yeah . . . and Chinese, too.”

At another point in the conversation, he discussed potential absentee ballot fraud.

“Oh, there’s thousands of absentee ballots . . . I don’t know where they came from,” he said.

He later claimed that he made his responses to placate the reporter.  Which makes sense, because it’s highly doubtful he’s used to reporters asking him actual questions.

Also; he doesn’t want to wind up a “suicide” in the East River with four shots in the back of his head.

Berg’s Seventh Law: Universal And Immutable

Remember when Democrats couldn’t stop talking about the Koch brothers (who aren’t even among the top fifty political donors in the country) and the American Legislative Exchange Committee, a “think tank” utterly similar to an array of such groups on both sides of the aisle?

And you – a smart person – asked “why all the fuss?”

Simple – provided you remember Berg’s Seventh Law.

Because it really does explain everything, every time.

Steer Clear Of Any Mirrors

Democrats behave pretty atrociously around women.

JFK had a thing for banging interns less than half his age.

LBJ was a philanderer who had a thing for letting the cow out of the barn in deeply inappropriate places.  Indeed, he seemed to be fairly obsessed with, er, Lyndon Baines’ johnson – which, it occurs to me, may be one of the reasons so many liberals’ arguments inevitably swerve back toward genitalia today.

And of course, Clinton – a serial mass philanderer who harassed, groped and raped women with the assurance of a conquering Mongol – and his wife, who actively used her power to shut his victims up.

Now – pointing out the true facts of fifty years of Democrat presidents’ abuse of women (often with the nodding, grinning compliance of the major media) doesn’t excuse Donald Trump’s piggish comments and behavior over a (I am flabbergasted)  open mic during his 2005 video with (ugh) Access Hollywood.   As I pointed out on the show Saturday, this wasn’t entirely unpredictable; when the interview was recorded, Trump had been a “Master of the Universe” for over 30 years; party to the kind of wealth, power and access that allows people like him to get away with things (or at least think so) that’d have had most people drummed out of polite society.  His marital record shows it hasn’t been entirely without consquence.  It’s one of the reasons I’ve been a vocal non-fan of Trump’s public persona for over 30 years.

But saying “Democrats did much worse, and did it first” doesn’t excuse Trump, any more than “they started it!” excused me when I was a kid, or my kids when they were.

But…

To support Hillary Clinton for president, one has to ignore, or rationalize, or plead ignorance of, decades of her aiding and abetting her husband’s predations; at least one rape, several cases of blatant sexual harassment, constant philandering, and predation on younger, star-struck women who were – let’s be clear, here – his employees and staff (the kind of behavior that’d have any responsible corporate board ushering a CEO toward the exits faster than you can say “grab that cat” in this litigious age).

So, Clinton supporters?  I’m not saying this to attack Hillary and Bill’s character.

I’m attacking your character.