SCENE: Mitch BERG is buying topsoil at Kern Landscaping in Saint Paul. Busily loading his car, he doesn’t notice Avery LIBRELLE climbing out of an oil-belching Subaru wagon to make a deposit.
LIBRELLE: Merg! If we elect Hillary, we’ll get Bill Clinton for co-president!
LIBRELLE: That means the economy will boom!
BERG: Wait – didn’t NPR tell me the economy is already booming?
LIBRELLE: It’ll boom even more!
BERG: OK. So we’ll get Bill Clinton. Will we also get Newt Gingrich?
LIBRELLE: No. Why? Hisssssssssssssss!
BERG: Because it was the Gingrich Congress’s enforcement of fiscal discipline on the Clinton Administration after the 1994 Republican Wave that kept the Feds out of the way of the economic boom. By the way, speaking of boom – will there be any empires falling, paving the way for a massive transfer of resources from the military?
BERG: The “Peace Dividend”. When the USSR collapsed – thanks to Ronald Reagan – the US was able to move a lot of defense spending to civilian uses. Which dumped a ton of money, skill and technology into the civilian market. Which led, after a brief recession, to the beginning of a boom that ran until 9/11.
So – if Hillary plans to bring back a conservative Congress and has another “peace dividend” in her purse, we might have ourselves a deal.
LIBRELLE: (Stands, mutely flapping jaw)
BERG: Have a nice day, Avery.