The DFL – the party of plutocrats waving the bloody shirt of poverty – is in the middle of a fundraising drive. I got an email from Ken Martin, the DFL’s chair.
And in exchange for a $5 donation, the donor will get the one thing that seems to make every single liberal’s heart go pitty pat; like a shiny object that doesn’t need polishing; like a squirrel you don’t have to chase.
A bumper sticker.
In this case, a choice of three bumpers stickers – each of which requires a massive suspension of disbelief.
As a public service to my audience, I think it’s time for us to vote on these bumper stickers.
Option #1 – The DFL: It’s pretty plain-jane and vanilla – not that you can refer to Jane or Vanilla in DFL circles anymore.
It’s the tamer of the three options,, obviously – although it requires enough suspension of disbelief to accept that the Democrats represent labor, much less farmers, in this state anymore.
I’m willing to accept the idea of Mariah Carey undersinging, or Tom Cruise doing a restrained, subdued interview. But The “FL” in “DFL” is pushing even my tolerance for fancy.
Option #2 – Organize! This next one is more of a call to action.
It’d have you believe that the Democrat Party is a mass of underdogs that, working together, can take on the big fish, Trump. :
Of course, to be accurate, you’d need a school of fish bigger than the Trump fish, swimming behind the school of “littlle fish” giving them orders.
Second level of suspended disbelief; the “little fish” form a “Stars and Stripes” pattern. To be accurate, the fish flag would need to be in flames, set alight by an amorphous group of college age fish.
Option #3 – Resist!: Finally – not just a call to action, but a call to fiction!
The DFL seems to think that the left is “the resistance”.
No. They are the establishment. The millions of Americans who came out to toss the anointed Hillary Clinton out of public life are the resistance. The Democrat Party is the one being resisted.
Minnesota DFL? You are the status quo! This is a blue state! And as you (plural) proudly say every second odd-numbered year, you “own” Minneapolis and Saint Paul.
You’re not the resistance You’re the occupier!
Time For Action: Let’s vote. The question is, which bumper sticker requires a bigger suspension of disbelief?
Operators are standing by.