The Improper Wiring That Dare Not Speak It’s Name

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Guy who’s nuts shoots up his own apartment and sets fire to it.

Another guy who can legally own guns because he wasn’t committed.  The judge let him go.

The problem isn’t guns.  The problem is nuts.  The civil commitment laws make it nearly impossible to put away nuts where they’re unable to obtain guns.  If it were easier to obtain civil commitment, there’d be fewer of these incidents and less work for ACLU lawyers . . . a win-win!

Joe doakes


Which is why it’ll never happen.


Free Speech

I went – very, very briefly – to the rally at the Planned Parenthood in Saint Paul over the lunch hour yesterday.   It was hot and clammy – so humid the air seemed to congeal into little clumps of atmospheric sweat.

I didn’t even try to count the crowd; it was in the hundreds:

More below the jump.

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There’s Just No Way…

…anybody could have predicted this: Seattle workers whose minimum wage has been jacked up to 15 bucks an hour…

…are now asking for fewer hours, so they don’t lose their housing subsidies.

Naturally, the artificially-high minimum wage was supposed to cut welfare dependency, blah blah blah.

So now we’ve got fewer jobs, and just watch – the program dependence is going to stay the same.

Austered The Wrong Way

To: National Public Radio News

From: Mitch Berg, uppity peasant

Re: Terminology

Dear NPR:

Over the weekend, while listening to one of your news programs, I caught a story about skilled workers emigrating from Portugal. 

Your story announced that the Portuguese economy was “recovering from austerity”

Austerity was not the problem. Or, rather, austerity was, at most, a symptom; The disease was unsustainable government spending, that sapped the vitality of the private sector economy.  

Unrestrained spending on things like lavish pensions, cradle to grave welfare, a government workforce that displaces private enterprise, and yes, public broadcasting, committed governments to endless, crippling spending that, when the economy goes south, cannot be sustained.  

See that we don’t make this mistake again, shall we?

That is all.


Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

A pair of graduate students from the U of M came to the office to learn about Minnesota’s system of land title records.  Seems they’re hoping to institute a new system in Kenya where land records are not reliable, making investment risky which discourages entrepreneurship and that leaves people in poverty, dependent on government hand-outs.  The students propose a computerized system (which will reveal changes and who made them) based on GPS coordinates (that can be re-established in the field by any hand-held GPS receiver).

The students are cargo cultists.  They propose a technological solution to a cultural problem.  I’m skeptical.

Kenya left the British Empire in 1963 and for the last half-century: “the use of land as an object of patronage to engender support and consolidate power has been exacerbated by corruption, forced eviction, government backtracking, and lack of redress for those who have lost land through violence.”

Suppose the computer gives me absolute iron-clad proof that the land records clerk altered the records to give my land to President Uhuru Kenyatta’s friend.  Suppose when I show up in court, the President’s friend arrives with a thick envelope of “last-minute evidence” for the judge, then glances meaningfully at his Reece Squad escorts and says “So, judge, how are the wife and kids?  Be a shame if anything happened to them.”  What are my chances of getting my land back?

Technology can’t solve that problem.  It takes a culture of incorruptibility, of self-less devotion to the Rule of Law, and that culture takes hundreds of years to grow.  Kenya threw that away when it kicked out the British.  Americans are letting our own Kenyan throw it away today.

Joe Doakes

Barack Obama’s worst facet?  He’s bringing the worst facets of Third World/Chicago governance to a national stage.

I’m going to say that before the IRS shuts me down.


Deluded Again: Heather Martens’ Press Release Habit

Since Michael Bloomberg sent her and her rage-addled partner Jane Kay to the bench during the 2014 session, I feel like I’ve neglected one of my key jobs in blogging about Second Amendment human rights in Minnesota.

For those of you new to my blog, and to my coverage of the ongoing battle over that civil right, let me recap:

Heather Martens has never, not once, issued a substantially true original statement.  Ever. 

Not one. 

Her entire body of work – every last word – is demonstrably false.  The reason I say it’s demonstrably false is that I (and many better, smarter writers) have debunked, point by point, assertion by assertion, for well over a decade now, every single substantial thing she’s said.

And since Bloomberg has left town (’til the next session, anyway), she’s back at it.  On Monday she put out a press release regarding the GOP’s push to allow Minnesota National Guardsmen to carry their sidearms while on duty, in case someone tries to shoot up their office.

And the press release is, in its entirety, a stunning display of dozey, fact-averse, intellectually-lazy bilge.  Put more briefly, it’s a “Heather”.

The release is included below the jump – or, since it’s a “Heather”, I guess we should say “…below the trip and fall”.

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Throughout History

SCENE: Washington DC, April, 1861. Heather Martens is being interviewed on the upcoming secession over slavery: “if abolishing slavery were a good idea, the government would’ve already done it”

SCENE: Honolulu, Hawaii, November, 1941. Heather Martens is being interviewed by the Washington Post or guarding complaints about the security at Pearl Harbor:  “If there was anything to worry about at Pearl Harbor, I’m sure the government would’ve already taken care of it.”

SCENE: quote from Heather Martens, heard this morning on the Jack and Andrew show, on the lesser talk station: “I’m sure if arming military personnel were a good idea, the military would’ve already done it”

Only one of the quotes above is “real” in the literal sense of the term.  But in another way, they’re all still perfectly accurate…

Against The Empire

Sick of your tax dollars going to fund late term abortions, and Lamborghinis for ghouls selling baby parts on your dime?

There’s a protest scheduled over at the big box Abortion Hut – AKA “The Abattoir on Vandalia” – today over the noon hour.

Details?  Right here:

Invitation: Please Join Us at a Rally to Defund Planned Parenthood!
Where: St. Paul’s Mega Planned Parenthood, 671 Vandalia Street, St. Paul MN 55105

When: July 28th
Time: 12:00pm—1:00pm
Minnesota Family Council’s Director of Policy & Communications, Autumn Leva, will be speaking at the rally! We hope to see you there!

Right in the middle of the work day, unfortunately – but I’ll be there in spirit.

I have a hunch these video stings are making a lot of people who were soft-core on abortion quite a big harder-core.

It’s certainly working for me.

A Good Girl With A Gun

A West Virginia sex worker shoots and kills a man who police believe may be a serial killer.

“When he strangled me he just wouldn’t let me get any air,” she said. ” I grabbed my rake and when he laid the gun down to get the rake out of my hands, I shot him. I just grabbed the gun and shot behind me.”

And how do the police figure he’s a serial killer, and not just another Democrat operative looking for something edgier than strip clubs?

He showed up with a “kill list,” multiple pairs of handcuffs and a Subaru full of weapons and tools, including a shovel, knives, a bulletproof vest, a machete, bleach, trash bags, sledgehammers and axes, according to Fox affiliate KPTV.


In Falls’s pocket, police said, was a list of names of potential future victims, all of whom are sex workers who advertised on Backpage, according to the Daily Dot.

The string of killings for which he’s suspected?  Pretty ugly.  Six women are missing in Chillicothe, Ohio – in a population of 21,000.

No word yet on whether Jane Kay or Rep. Heather Martens want to charge the woman for not taking a background check before taking the guy’s gun.

Remember, folks:  no need for a gun.  The police will take care of it.  They’re trained for this sort of thing.

The Cruel Rural Juror

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Screen shot from today’s Star Tribune.  Third paragraph:   “ . . . the very day a jury was cruel enough to justify the death penalty.”



Evidence of liberal bias in the media?


Or simple failure of the layers and layers of checkers and editors that make the mainstream media so much more reliable than bloggers?


Joe Doakes

Why choose?


A Fearless Prediction

It turns out that a Marine and a sailor at the Chattanooga navy reserve office during the spree killing last week committed a bit of a naughty, and apparently fired personal sidearms at Mohammed Abdulazeez.

A report distributed among senior Navy leaders during the shooting’s aftermath said Lt. Cmdr. Timothy White, the support center’s commanding officer, used his personal firearm to engage Abdulazeez, Navy Times confirmed with four separate sources. A Navy official also confirmed a Washington Post report indicating one of the slain Marines may have been carrying a 9mm Glock and possibly returned fire on the gunman.

Federal law, of course, protects spree killers against danger from anyone but law enforcement and military police on federal property.

My fearless prediction: once the politically-correct military leadership and the Obama Administration’s stonewalling falls away, it will be found that the return fire was what caused Abdulazeez to break off his attack.  Law enforcement now accepts as fact that getting shots off at a spree killer as soon as possible is the best tactic; it breaks the killer out of his psychotic reverie, and disrupts their lavishly-orchestrated plan.  They usually kill themselves, give up, or – as I strongly suspect will be discovered in Chattanooga, commit “martyrdom by cop”.

What the law enforcement establishment doesn

I never gamble money.  But I’ll stake bragging rights on this one.

The Mitch

To: the Gullible

From: Mitch Berg

Re:  Trump

I will close the borders, and make sure every American company that is illegally employing illegal aliens pays for it.

I will also get the economy humming so good, the minimum wage will be irrelevant. And I will do it all on my way to my third date with Jennifer Lawrence.

There. I’ve just done everything Donald Trump is doing; talked a bunch of big promises I’ll never have to deliver on, but that will get people to talk about me.

The only difference? I don’t have a mainstream media simultaneously obsessed with my celebrity and using me to wedge the party that they want to see out of power again.

I hope we’re clear on this, now.

That is all.


I got this email last week from


Interesting thing about it? There’s an odd…synchronicity in the chanting points that pop up in this email, the entire leftymedia’s coverage of the subject of last weeks bombshell videos of the Planned Parenthood ghouls selling baby parts.

Why, it’s almost as if the entire left, from Scott Pelley down to the lowliest, loneliest liberal blogger, is reading off the same script:

Dear MoveOn member,

Two weeks ago, a heavily edited, blatantly misleading video was released attacking Planned Parenthood.

Let’s stop right there.

The lefty chantingpointbots seem to think that “heavy editing” is unique to sting videos that gore their sacred cows.

News coverage generally shoots between 6 to 10 minutes of footage for every minute that appears on the air. With documentaries – think Michael Moore, who made hundreds of millions of dollars producing exactly the sort of footage that liberals love unless it’s James O’Keefe and the Center for Medical Progress – and “reality” shows it’s much, much much more; documentaries often shoot 30-60 minutes of footage for every minute of the final product.

Now be honest – do you think that those damning, eight minute videos of the Planned Parenthood ghouls talking about their Lamborghinis and the “crunchy” methods they use to kill prenatal children started out as 50-minute-to-eight-hour long conversations?

In the great scheme of video production, I’m going to suggest to you that these Planned Parenthood stings were edited vastly more lightly than most of what you see on television.

And this week, another deceiving, doctored video was released, continuing the smear campaign against the largest reproductive health care provider in America.

Did the ghouls actually say they were selling infant body parts?  Then the “doctoring” was irrelevant.

It’s clear we’re facing a highly coordinated attack on reproductive rights.

No.  You’re facing an attack on late-term abortion – the killing of “fetuses” that are in many cases perfectly viable.

“Highly Coordinated?”

Well, that’d be about time.   There’s no reason only “progressives” can be “highly coordinated.”

Politico-Militarily Correct

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Muslim nutjob shoots up Marine recruiting centers in Tennessee.  Marines killed because military policy is no weapons allowed.

Citizens volunteer to guard recruiting centers.  Marines suggest they don’t need the help:

Here is the full text of the statement from the Marine Corps Recruiting Command.

“First of all, our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the Marines killed and those injured in the tragic and senseless shooting in Chattanooga.

In light of this tragedy, we have reviewed and made necessary adjustments to our force protection conditions.  Due to operational security reasons, we will not discuss specific force protection measures at our recruiting stations or offices.

The safety of our Marines is our primary concern and we will continue to remain vigilante, proactive, and unpredictable in order to thwart potential incidents.

We encourage our Marines and family members to remain vigilant and report any suspicious activity to local law enforcement.

Our Marine recruiters remain committed to the mission as they continue to seek qualified men and women interested in earning the title “Marine”.

Our continued public trust lies among our trained first responders for the safety of the communities where we live and work.

Semper Fidelis,
Public Affairs Office
Marine Corps Recruiting Command

Army (whose recruiting centers were NOT shot at) [This time – Ed.], tells Army recruiters to report volunteers to the police and immediately fill out a Security Report.

Tells you a lot about the mind-set of the people in command of the respective services: one is run by warriors; the other, by lawyers.


Joe Doakes

I’m going to take a while guess and assume that the officers making that proclamation haven’t been shot at lately.

The Brave New World

“To the victor belong the spoils.”

– Sen. William L. Marcy (1828)

It had been perhaps the strangest coalition in human history – the foremost democratic, colonial, and communist powers in the world, rallying together to defeat a nation antithetical to all of them, despite their immense differences.

Fear of defeat had united them; the prospects of victory had already been slowing dividing them.  By the time the United States, Great Britain and the Soviet Union had gathered in mid-July of 1945 at Potsdam in Germany, their once-unified vision for the brave new world that would emerge from the carnage of war was breaking apart.  While there was still plenty of fighting to do to bring the last of the Axis powers down, the democratic and Wilsonian ideals pushed largely by the United States were quickly buckling under the weight of political reality.

The hopes of avoiding another Versailles-like post-war environment were fading.  The victors were eagerly eyeing their spoils.  And the red-hot war that had engulfed the globe was freezing over into a cold one.

The Victors: the dynamics of previous Allied conferences were no longer in play as Truman replaced FDR – determined to strike a harder, anti-Soviet tone

The world – and the participants – had looked much different just five months earlier at the Yalta Conference in February of 1945.    Continue reading


I’ll be in for Brad Carlson, who’s off on assignment today.  I’ll be talking about Planned Parenthood, Donald Trump, the 2016 Minnesota election outlook, and much much more!

So tune in the Northern Alliance! You have so many options:

Join us!

swapping shows with Brad Carlson. I’ll be on tomorrow, Sunday, from 1 to 3 PM.

Check back tomorrow for more details on my rare Sunday show!

Don’t forget – King Banaian is on from 9-11AM on AM1570.

So tune in the Northern Alliance! You have so many options:

Join us!

You Got Another NARN Coming

Today, the Northern Alliance Radio Network – America’s first grass-roots talk radio show – is on the air!

But not with me, today – I’m swapping shows with Brad Carlson. I’ll be on tomorrow, Sunday, from 1 to 3 PM. 

Check back tomorrow for more details on my rare Sunday show!

Don’t forget – King Banaian is on from 9-11AM on AM1570.  

So tune in the Northern Alliance! You have so many options:

Join us!

Hot Gear Friday: The Four Engined Bomber

It was about this time seventy years ago that World War II was heading toward its climax; Germany had surrendered;  Marines and soldiers were mopping up on Okinawa.  The world didn’t know about the atomic bomb yet.

And the idea of Air Power was at its peak; after three years of strategic bombing over Europe, and about a year’s worth over Japan, the idea that one could bomb ones’ opponents out of a war – very much in vogue before the war – still held great sway.

Of course, strategic bombing over Europe had had a ghastly toll; the US Army Air Force lost more men in the air than the Marines did in the entire Pacific War.

And the bulk of those casualties came among the crews of the roughly 6-7,000 bombers lost over Germany (among the Americans alone; the Brits also paid a horrific price).

There was the most famous, the Boeing B-17…:

…with its legendary toughness without which the toll might have been vastly worse.

And the B-24 Liberator – newer, faster, but less popular, and generally regarded as less tough…

…and the B-29, which costs as much to develop as the entire Manhattan Project, carried most of the weight in the Pacific.

Why do I bring it up?

Because as we discuss the idea that our younger genration of twenty somethings, raised during the Obama economy by helicopter parents and made into a cause – the “Millennials” – by a generation of Baby Boom media who want to have someone to poke and prod the way they were poked and prodded and examined – many of whom are out in the streets protesting for $15 an hour to run a shake machine (for a while, maybe), it’s worth remembering this;  the officers, the pilots and navigators and bombardiers who flew these planes, averaged 22 years old.

Their enlisted crewmen?  The flight engineers and radiomen and 3-4 gunners on each plane?  They averaged 19 years old.

And this was what they did just to get the planes – in this case, the B24 – into the air.

Pretty amazing.

A Dilemma

As the sales of my first book, Trulbert!, continue to outpace my meager expectations, the question “what next” is occupying more and more of my time.

I’ve been thinking about compiling my Twenty Years Ago Today series into an e-book, for all the people who’ve asked me about it over the past decade (and there have been quite a few).  I am strongly thinking about putting that out this September, in time for the tenth anniversary of the series.

But in terms of original books, as opposed to “Hewitts” (books compiled from blog posts)?

There are a few contenders:

  • “An Accidental Conservative”:  how a guy who by all rights should have been a liberal, became a conservative.  Then a libertarian.  Then a libertarian-conservative again.  And why.   Pros:  that book is largely also already written.  Cons:  I have to dig through a little over 12,000 blog posts to assemble it.
  • “Josef Sklrbczsz, American”:  The story of a young man from an Eastern European goat-town whose entire knowledge of America comes from the mass media.  Then, he comes to America.
  • “Purple Sunset”:  An expansion of my “Secession Diaries” stories, from ten years ago.  Pros:  It’d be a fun piece to write.  Cons:  What?  Me, write a book of absurdist speculative political fiction?

The Twenty Years Ago one is kind of a no-brainer.

Beyond that?  The sky is the limit…

Bulletin Bulletin Bulletin

Dog licks dog.

Donald Trump makes a huge, vainglorous declaration he’s never going to have to convince a legislature to support.

Facebook is full of cat videos.

Cheap hotels are often sketchy.

The Vikings don’t look very good this year.

And Minnesota’s real Governor, Tina Flint-Smith, former director of Planned Parenthood Infanticide Hut, pulled the wires and worked the remote control so as to make “Governor” Mark Dayton mumble words that sounded like the state won’t be investigating the goings-on at the non-profit, and there’s no way, nosirreebob that the Abattoir on Vandalia has ever trafficked in baby parts, no way no how, how about those Saints?

And it sure is humid out there.  Also big news.

There’s Just No Way…

…anyone could have possibly seen this coming.

Smoke choked the streets of the city of Houston yesterday as Islamic protesters gathered to oppose the Supreme Court’s decision upholding gay marriage. Throughout the day members of the Muslim community prowled the city streets, tearing down LGBT flags from public buildings and private residences. A large pile containing hundreds of LGBT flags was burned later during a massive anti-gay-marriage rally.

Bring on the hate crime investigation!

Oh, wait…

The Killer App

I just thought of the app that’s going to make me a millionaire.

Remember the class web games “Hot Or Not” and “Kill, Bang or Marry?” Where you’d look at photos of people of your preferred gender and select “Hot” or “Not” or whatever?

My idea: publish writings, photomemes and tweets from notable “new* atheists.  Like this bit, ostensibly from John Malkovich…


…who is a great actor but, clearly, not much for classical logic.  (Is it an actual Malkovich quote?  I don’t know, and for my purposes at the moment it doesn’t actually matter).

Then, we categorize them as one of the following:

  • “Angry Lapsed Catholic with Mommy/Daddy Issues”
  • “Gay person, angry about the book of Leviticus and/or “the church’s” not accepting same-sex marriage.”
  • “Wannabe Empiricist with the gold-plated strawmen, metal-flake red herrings, and a very selective sense of science”
  • “Giggly Cultural Vandal who can’t imagine anything bigger than them in the universe”.
  • “Eurotrash – usually French – cultural imperialist”.

The hard part, after writing the code, will be coming up with snappier descriptions of the options.