[SCENE: The New Jersey-side bank of the Delaware River, December 24, 1776. General George WASHINGTON, having just led the ragged Continental Army across the Delaware River, is having a final conference with his senior officers before attacking the Hessians, who are passed out, hung over after their Christmas drinking binges, in their winter camp in Trenton New Jersey.]
WASHINGTON: Our revolution has had major setbacks this past year. Now is our time to strike back, re-set the balance of this war, and convince the French, Dutch and Spanish that the Revolution can be sustained!
[The generals cheer - except for A. LIBRELLE, a civilian bureaucrat attached to the Army by the group Justice For Britain].
LIBRELLE: I’m sorry, General. This attack is disproportionate. Your men need to get drunk,, become hung over, and then wake the Hessians so it can be a fair fight. And lose the cannon.
General Marquis de LAFAYETTE: Sacre bleu, is this person mad?
[SCENE: Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, July 3, 1863. General George Gordon MEADE, commander of the Army of the Potomac, is at the front line atop Cemetery Ridge, alongside his battered, bloodied army. Across a wide open field, Confederate General George Pickett is lining up his troops for their epic charge across the rolling field of grass, as MEADE's artillerymen load their cannon]
MEADE: Men – this is it. It’s here that the union stands, or falls. We hold here, or the war is over. Who’s with me, boys!
[The men cheer - except for A. LIBRELLE, a representative from Quakers for Peace, whose head shakes and face scowls disapprovingly].
LIBRELLE: Wait, General. This isn’t proportionate. You should move your men off this hill and away from behind these walls and fences, and move down into the field so that nobody has cover, and it’s a fair fight. And what’s with the “men” and “boys” bit? Isn’t that just a tad patriarchal?
MEADE: It’s the Army…
[SCENE: London, June 5, 1944. Generals Dwight EISENHOWER, Bernard Law MONTGOMERY and Omar BRADLEY are firming up the final details of the next day's invasion of Europe, known to us as "D-Day".]
EISENHOWER: The entire fate of Western Civilization hangs on tomorrow’s invasion.
BRADLEY: We’ve done all we can. Now, it’s just down to the guts of the regular GI Joe.
[A. LIBRELLE, representative from the United Nations Office of Philosophy, interrupts]
LIBRELLE: Wait – Generals? This invasion is by no means proportionate. You have battleships, paratroopers, waves and waves of bombers. The Germans have none of theses.
MONTGOMERY: Then you suggest…
LIBRELLE: Do the invasion without the battleships, the bombers, or the paratroopers.
EISENHOWER: That’s suicide!
LIBRELLE: It’s proportional!
[SCENE: Somewhere in the desert of Judea, early in the morning, 63BC. Roman legionary RICHARDUS Magnus is addressing his Legion before their final assault on the Jewish stronghold of Masada, where dozens of Jewish patriots are making a last stand against the Roman conquerors]
RICHARDUS: Legionaires! Today we shall charge up the siege towers and scale the walls and build a pyramid of the enemy’s skulls!
[The soldiers cheer lustily, as A. LIBRELLIVS, a reporters from the news-scroll Tempus Romanii, stands, bored, kicking at clods of sand]
RICHARDUS: [Looks at LIBRELLIVS with a look of ill-concealed disdain] Anything to add, Librellius?
LIBRELLIVS: Nah, I got nothing.