In The Not Too Distant Future

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Grocery checkout clerk:  I’m sorry, sir, your sale has been declined.
Liberal:  What?  My card is declined? Fine, I’ll pay cash.
Clerk:  No sir, the card is fine.  But the manufacturer won’t allow us to sell certain items to you.  I’ll have to remove them from the conveyor and you can buy the remaining items.
Liberal:  That’s ridiculous.  How can the manufacturer refuse to sell to me?  I demand to see a manager.
Manager:  Sorry sir, you’re the latest in a long line of customers who are having this problem.  You see, the manufacturer is engaging in a reverse boycott against certain people.  We’re prohibited from selling their products to the people being boycotted.
Liberal:  They can’t do that! They can’t refuse to do business with me.  I have rights!
Manager: Actually, they can.  The law says they can’t refuse to do business with people for discriminatory reasons like not baking a cake for gays, but they can refuse to do business with Liberals the same way the Liberals are boycotting Trump hotels.   Discrimination against people in the opposite political party is perfectly legal and since Liberals started the trend, it’s catching on everywhere.  They probably got your name from a mailing list of Democrat contributors or MPR members.
Liberal:   But I didn’t donate to any of those things.
Manager:  No?  Maybe you signed an on-line petition?  Or maybe one of your family members or Facebook friends did so you’ve been flagged because of that?  It could be a secondary boycott, same as when Liberals refuse to buy from Ivanka’s business because of her Dad’s politics.
Liberal:  This is bull.  I demand you sell me my items.
Manager:  I can sell you everything that’s not on the boycott list.  Let’s see, you can have, well, actually, sir, I’m afraid everything on this conveyor is on one list or another.
Liberal:  How is that possible?  How many boycotts are there?
Manager:  Only a few, but companies like Nestle own many brands and those are the brands you’ve chosen, like, for instance, Coffee Mate, Kit-Kat, Perrier, Honey Nut Cheerios, Friskies cat food.  You’ve also got Land O Lakes milk and butter, those are on another list.  Oh, here, you can have the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, they aren’t boycotting people like you.
Liberal:  People like me!!  Fine, if that’s the way you feel, I’ll take my business elsewhere.
Half an hour later . . .
Whole Foods Clerk:  I’m sorry, sir, your sale has been declined.
Joe Doakes

There are companies I’d be happy to have boycott me.

Very, very publicly.

Affirmative Traction

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

I’m thinking of applying for this as a side gig.  It could be a useful addition to a retirement nest egg, sort of a part-time job in retirement that pays enough to matter.

“Members of under-represented groups are encouraged to apply.”  That must mean me.  They already have a Liberal Black man, a Liberal woman, a Liberal Jew, a Liberal GLBT on faculty.   I should qualify as a Token Conservative White Man.  I’m a shoo-in.

That IS what they meant by “under-represented,” right?

Joe Doakes

It’s always worth a try.  If only for the blog fodder.

Solved!

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

My computer automatically loads pop-up ads every time it opens.  This time, it informed me that hardly any girls want to be physicists, engineers, computer programmers.  Girls must be encouraged to science, technology, engineering and math careers.

Why the gender of the engineer matters is not explained.

If numbers are the sole concern – if meeting the quota is all it takes to make society better – then simply designate an appropriate number of biologically male engineers as involuntary pre-operative transgendered women and viola, instant utopia.

Joe Doakes

Simple, ingenious and PC!

Speaking Justice To Power

On March 4, a group of thugs, concealed in an un-permitted counterprotest, attacked a pro-Trump rally in the Rotunda at the State Capitol; a 17 year old girl was punched, at least one man was maced by someone who was trying to crash through a group of Trump supporters to disrupt the peaceful pro-Trump rally, a woman was hit in the head by a smoke bomb – an incendiary device…

…and you have already spent more time reading this than Ramco Attorney John Choi spent in deciding not to press charges against the six upper-middle-class snowflakes that were arrested, incuding Linwood Kaine, son of Hillary Clinton’s veep candidate.

They are, of course, the children of the golf buddies of the city’s DFL establishment, or at least the children of similar Democrat apparatchiks elsewhere.  Urban Liberal Privilege grants them a separate, unequal, nicer brand of justice than the rest of us get.

But there’s an effort afoot to change that.  The “Protecting Civil Discourse” rally on March 18 demanded that the Ramco and Saint Paul City Attorneys offices actually listen to the actual evidence, and follow the logical conclusion and charge the snowflakes.

Calls and emails are eminently appropriate:

Of course, John Edwards was right – there are Two Americas.  The children of our misbegotten “elite” live in one of them, where people with the right political backing can beat people up, block freeways and vandalize not merely freely, not merely at will, but with a nudge and a wink from the powers that be.

Time to let those powers know we’re watching.

There Is No Space Safe From The Social Justice Cheka

Purdue hires a social justice warrior to head its engineering program.  

While overt sexism and homophobia are less common than historically, they still play out in ways that are subtle and, therefore, insidious and hard to combat. How do you see this happening in the sciences, and how do you deal with it?

One of the biggest sources of sexism and homophobia is lodged in the epistemology of science. How we think, and what we think, matter in determining what we know and don’t know, and affects our workplace interactions in very negative ways. We think that we eliminate bias by keeping our “personal lives” – some aspects of ourselves – out of the lab, classroom, or office. But actually this is how we allow implicit bias to seep in and saturate everything we do, because that which is male, straight, white, able-bodied, monied, is not left behind in the practice of science and engineering – it is just so normative that lots of us don’t notice.

The story came out on Saturday.  I can only hope it’s an April Fool prank – perhaps the most insanely brillaint one o al time.  

I’m not very hopeful.

Look, Think, Act Like America

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Diversity proponents say “We need an office that looks like America” meaning an office staffed by people who are Black, Hispanic, American Indian but all carefully toe the line chanting the same Liberal ideas.

 It’s especially annoying in federal agencies, where the “deep state” long-term bureaucrats are all committed leftists who feel emboldened to wage war on conservatives.

 Trump should attack that starting with a tweet “We need a government that THINKS like America” meaning a 50-50 balance of political opinion among staff members, regardless of the color of their skin. 

 It will cause a storm of outrage of course, he’s politicizing the non-political jobs, imposing litmus tests, etc., but that’s already happened so the outrage will be a manifestation of Berg’s Seventh Law.  Politicization was done by the left and we’re seeking to restore balance, as diversity proponents themselves insist is necessary.  After all, aren’t they the ones who say we must have a wise Latina on the court to bring that perspective to the law? Well, then, shouldn’t we have intellectual diversity throughout the administration in proportion to the electorate which, as we know, is evenly divided?

 It would be amusing to watch and who knows, it might just open the public’s minds to the possibility of firing ideologically motivated bureaucrats who are sabotaging the new administration with leaks and resistance movements from within.

 Joe Doakes

Intellectual diversity?

That’s misogynist!

 

The Pool

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

The theory of diversity holds that by adding more viewpoints we get a better result, regardless of how smart the individuals holding those viewpoints are.  Diversity increases group intelligence.

 In practice, if you want a smarter group of people, add smarter people.  Diversity dilutes group intelligence.

 This is not news, it’s confirmation of what we already knew from anecdotal evidence. Adding more people to a committee does not increase committee intelligence, it just takes longer to get nothing done.

 It’s settled science.  You’re not a science denier, are you?

 Joe Doakes

To the left, “settled science” means “comports with our  narrative, so shut up”.

Would You Like To Take Another Pass At That?

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

HIGHER EDUCATION BUBBLE UPDATE, LEGAL EDUCATION EDITION, ANYTHING-TO-STOP-THE-BLEEDING ISSUE: California’s New Bar Exam Format And ABA’s Proposed 75% Bar Passage Requirement Will Adversely Impact Diversity, Women, And Access To The Legal Profession.

 Implied message: women and minorities are not as smart as white men.

 When your best argument against raising standards is that dumb people won’t be able to become bad lawyers, you should sit down and shut up.

 Joe Doakes

I sometimes think that liberalism is a byproduct of damage to the brain’s logic center.

On the other hand, it shows some ability to think about unintended consquences, albeit they seem to turn it on and off pretty fast.

How To Get Liberals To Do Your Publicizing For You In One Easy Step

It’s easier than you think.

But then everything is with them – except a logical, rational, non-ad-hominem or strawman argument…:

Maybe it was crazy but my thinking was that one of the best ways to get young men to go see a movie was to tell them they should not be allowed to see it. What ensued was several months of chaos and controversy that ultimately drove Tucker’s book to #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list, sold out a multi-college bus tour and ultimately sold millions of dollars worth of tickets, dvds and books.

It was a masterful bit of trolling that admittedly felt a lot more meaningful and exciting when I was younger than it does to me today: We encouraged protests at colleges by sending outraged emails to various activist groups and clubs on campuses where the movie was being screened. We sent fake tips to Gawker, which dutifully ate them up. We created a boycott group on Facebook that acquired thousands of members. We made deliberately offensive ads and ran them on websites where they would be written about by controversy-loving reporters. After I began vandalizing some of our own billboards in Los Angeles, the trend spread across the country, with parties of feminists roving the streets of New York to deface them (with the Village Voice in tow)…I’ve never seen so much publicity. It was madness.

If any of this sounds familiar, it should. Because it’s basically the exact playbook that right wing blogger Milo Yiannopoulos is running on his own cross country trolling tour. By almost any metric but political correctness, it’s been masterfully successful—his book has since been to #1 on Amazon twice, and the protests at UC Berkeley last week generated national headlines and were addressed directly by the President.

I need to amend the old statement:

“None of us are as dumb as all of us – except all of our “elites””.

Tantrum

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

California Democrats threaten to make the entire state a ‘sanctuary state’ by forbidding local law enforcement from cooperating with federal immigration officials. Trump, of course, has threatened to withhold federal funds from states that flout federal law.

 This could work out really well in the long run. 

 Start by withholding funds from California.  They’ll either cave in, or they’ll learn to get along without federal money.  If they cave, we win.  If they live without the money, we still win, because it helps reduce the amount of money the federal government needs to balance its budget.

 If enough states join the sanctuary movement, we can eliminate federal funding altogether and go back to the way the Constitution was intended to work.

Genius.

 Joe Doakes

I love it.

Shirts

I was going to start this post out with a wry quip about the irony of people protesting a president they say will oppress people, actually oppressing people.

I’m talking about the riots in – where else? – Berkeley last night.

There, children of the wealthiest society in the history of the world, protesting others’ “privilege” by shutting down a speech (by “provocateur” Milo Yiannopolous – that caused them cognitive dissonance.

Of course, as PJ O’Rourke said, “life is full of irony – if you’re stupid”.

Then it occurred to me – this is far from an original thing.   It’s not new for political movements to have “direct action” wings, designed to radicalize the the “debate” and, eventually, the opposition.

The easy parallel is the “Brownshirts” – Sturmabteilung” – the “direct action” wing of the Nazi Party from the early twenties through the end of World War 2:

“Community Organizing”. “Brownshirts” in action.

One of their primary missions – shut down political events by the Nazis’ opposition.

Of course, given this description…:

The protest turned violent around 6 p.m. when dozens of masked anarchists, dressed in black and wearing backpacks, emerged from the otherwise peaceful crowd.

…a better simile might be Mussolini’s “Camicii Neri” – Blackshirts – who filled the same purpose in Italy…

“Protersters” at Berkeley last night. Oh, I”m kidding. It’s Mussolini and his “Camicii Neri”. Distinction without much difference, really.

…shouting down and beating Communists and Socialists and Monarchists in the streets, turning Italian politics into the full-contact sport that played into the hands of radicals on the left and left.

Darn you, Trump.

Richie Guns The Motor And Fonzie Takes Flight

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Lately, I’ve been watching the reboot of “Hawaii 5-0” on Netflix.  Started out as a typical cop show with the usual shoot-outs and chase scenes, but the real value of the show was the scenery.  No, not island volcanoes and surfboards; every dialogue scene featured the main characters standing on the beach talking in the foreground while bikini-clad hotties paraded behind them.  After a while, it became amusing – apparently the beaches in Hawaii have nothing but hotties.  Where are the pasty beach whales from Minnesota, desperate to get their 5-day tan before the vacation ends?

 Now that I’m into Season 3, the scenery has changed.  Lots of flying over rain forests and aerial views of high-rise hotels, nowhere near as much background beach action.  And the storyline has changed, too, not as many chase-them-until-you-shoot-them action scenes, more trouble-with-her-boyfriend and who-will-get-custody drama.  I started out watching Starsky and Hutch but now I’m watching General Hospital.

 I suspect it’s a deliberate shift away from Guy Show over to Chick Flick.  They’ve ruined it.  I’m done watching before they go full Law and Order, preaching the blessings of gun control, the evil of Christianity and the absolute necessity of whatever ‘right’ is the fad today.

Joe Doakes

I suspect a writers room full of people who want to write Something Meaningful.  With predictable results.

Yelling And Breaking Things

I’ve been writing this blog for fifteen years.    In that time, I’ve written something like 20,000 posts.    I’ve written about a lot of topics, of course – but there’ve been some recurring themes.

Liberalism is bad for children and other living things.  The right to keep and bear arms is key among the things that separates citizens from subjects.  The less centralized authority is, the better.  The justification for “elites” being “elite” fades rapidly over intellectual generations.

And the Star/Tribune editorial board is a bunch of out-of-touch upper-middle-class patricians with little comprehension of the political world since Walter Mondale left office.

And I’m unlikely to change that any time soon.

But like the proverbial blind squirrel, they get one right once in a while, in their piece giving grudging support – the same grudging support I give – to increasing the penalties for blocking freeways during protests:

Blocking a freeway or a train track goes beyond peaceful protest. Those are inherently aggressive acts, designed to trigger a confrontation with law enforcement. They pose an immediate hazard to the protesters and motorists, as well as law enforcement.

The Legislature must be mindful of the right to peaceful protest, and of the danger in ignoring the concerns of those who feel aggrieved. But protesters must recognize they do not have a right to jeopardize the safety of others.

They’re pretty close, here.   Earlier in the piece, they say:

Any law that seeks to restrict the right to protest must strike a careful balance that preserves public safety, without trammeling on the right to speak against perceived injustice.

As Walter Hudson points out, there is no “balance” between freedom and criminal behavior.

If this particular reform doesn’t pass, though, I’d like to propose a further, different reform.  Currently, the “right” to block freeways is entirely contingent on a group’s level of favor with Betsy Hodges’ and Chris Coleman’s administrations.  Both need to stay cuddled up to the far left – so Black Lives Matter has carte blanche.  

So I say go ahead – let people protest on the freeways.  But require a permit, same as any other protest that impacts the public – not to censor the event, but to allow people notice.  And require them to be issued to everyone.

No.  Everyone.

So if the pro-lifers think they’d draw attention to their cause by protesting on the main arterials leading into Kenwood, Crocus Hill, Nicollet Island and Edina, keeping the DFL’s grandées from getting from their non-profits to their feminist drum circle meetings, they’d be able to do it, too.   They can check their Urban Liberal Privilege!

It’s a plan B.

The DFL Dictionary: Third Edition!

One of the things that first put this blog on the map, back in 2002-03, was the “DFL Dictionary” – a compendium of DFL language translated into English.

The Dictionary first published in 2003.  The second edition came out in 2009.

It’s time for another!

If you see any new terms that deserve inclusion, add the terms and their definitions in teh comment section; likewise, suggest edits to older terms there, as well.

Posterity will thank us all.

Bringing A Nail Clipper To A Gunfight

Hollywood is threatening a strike until Donald Trump retires…

…well, OK.  Not “Hollywood”.  Just some actors.

Brad Pitt, Amy Adams, Dakota Fanning and Ralph Fiennes are among the A-listers…

…who are not mentioned anywhere in the piece about the supposed strike:

Rosie O’Donnell, Debra Messing, Ed Asner and Michael Shannon are among the dozens of artists, entertainers, and activists who have attached their names to an effort calling for a month-long protest to stop President-elect Donald Trump.

Those are the four they led with?

Rosie O’Donnell, whose picture s in the DSM-V under “delusional?”

Debra Messing, who turned all that “Will and Grace” star power into one entire season of The Starter Wife on the USA Network before it got tanked?

Is Ed Asner really still alive?

And…Michael who?  Wasn’t he “Lord of the Dance” 20 years ago or something?

New Years Resolutions For MTV And Other Ofay Social Justice Warriors

A week back, I linked to the fairly noxious MTV video showing a raft of millennials giving “white guys” a series of “new years resolutions”.  I’m not going to  display it again – once was plenty.

But I figure, one good turn deserves another.  I’ve got some resolutions for Social Justice Warriors to observe for the coming year.

Enough with the Whitesplaining:  Y’know who I consider the apex of credibility when it comes to running down the crimes of the Caucasoid ethnicity and the scourge of “white privilege”?    Upper-middle-class white pseudoacademics with advanced degrees and cupboards full of Whole Foods packages, that’s who!

The next such person to whitesplain (condescendingly explain the sins of “whiteness” while being, y’know, white) me is getting pantsed.

Snowflakes Who Cried Wolf:   Not everything that you disagree with is “hate”.   Not everyone that disagrees with you “hates” you.

When you call all disagreement, all difference of opinion, all dissent, all views different than yours “hatred”, you make any meaningful discussion impossible.

Speaking of which:

Silence Is Golden:   Stop jabbering about “seeking a dialogue” or “wanting a conversation” about an issue, and then aggressively blocking all attempts by people who disagree with you to actually have the disagreement.  I’m not gonna name names, but it’s  hypocrisy and cowardice, Kim Norton and Alondra Cano and “Protect” Minnesota .

Innocence Until Proven:  Believing that suspects are innocent until proven guilty by a jury of one’s peers does not make one “pro-rape”.  Say it around me and you will get your face singed so bad you won’t be able to get a tan for 20 years.

You’re welcome.

The First “Trump 2020” Campaign Ad

After an election where Identity Politics generated an identity politics backlash that overwhelmed the Identity Politicians, MTV News triples down with perhaps the most textbook example of tone-deafness in a movement that can’t carry a tune in a bucket in the first place.

Broad, ofay stereotyping is now good, apparently:

“White guys”.  Huh.  Because an Italian about as much socially in common with a Swede as a Korean has with a Philipino?

My “favorite”?  “Learn what ‘mansplaining’ is, and stop doing it”.

Ma’am, I know what “mansplaining” is.  It’s a way to dismiss someone’s argument without actually having to address it.  It’s a weaponized rhetorical coin trick that genderizes, at most, poor communication, and at the very least, personal annoyance and peevishness.  Nothing more.  In a world run by Mitch Berg, using the term “Mansplaining” to cut off an argument would be grounds for spraying people in the face with mace.

And if I could just take a moment to express my complete fatigue with Millennial hipster pajama-boy gamma male virtue-signalling?

I plan on circulating this far and wide – until it gets disappeared, at least.

It’s also more than a little tempting to do my own New Years resolutions list for MTV and our Social Justice Warrior community.

Whatshisorherface

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Students in the English Department at the University of Pennsylvania took down a portrait of Shakespeare and replaced it with a portrait of that other one.  You know, that author whose works have passed-the-test-of-time, delighted billions around the globe.  What’s the name again? 

 Help me out here, it’s that famous writer.  The one you’ve heard of, whose books you read in school, everybody read them.  Dang, it’s on the tip of my tongue: Chaucer, Spenser, Milton, Twain, Hemmingway . . . aw, I can’t believe this, how could I forget? 

 Look, it’s the English Department.  They put up portraits of the greatest writers of all time just like the mural outside Barnes and Noble.  They’re the most influential, most enduring, the authors whose literature is literally timeless.  I can’t believe I’m blanking on this one.

 Shelley, Proust, Solzhenitsyn, Homer?  Agggh.  You know, the greatest writer of all time, obviously, since the writings are deemed worthy to replace Shakespeare.  Practically the foundation of the entire canon of literature in western civilization.  Way more well-known than that famous black professor who every cop knows on sight.

 This is so embarrassing.  It’ll come to me.

 Joe Doakes

Got me.

500 Turbocharged Weaselpower

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Levis bans guns in its stores  Doesn’t affect me, I don’t shop there anyway.

The reason is peculiar.  A person with a permit to carry had an accidental discharge in one of their stores so they’re asking customers not to bring guns into their stores.  “You don’t need a gun to try on jeans. . . it is with the safety and security of our employees and customers in mind . . . .” 

 If it actually were an issue of safety, then all guns should be banned, including cops (they have their own problems with accidental discharges).  But no, Levis is fine with cops’ guns, it’s only permitted carriers that are asked not to bring guns to the store.

 Will Levis install metal detectors to detect someone carrying a gun in his waistband?  Will they enforce the rule?  Nope, just announcing a policy that they request honest, law-abiding people obey.  Basically, they don’t want my trade.  Sounds as if I was right to shop elsewhere.

 Another thought, from a buddy who said: 

 Since the event that triggered this notion was somebody who had no place to safely store a firearm while trying on clothes, the responsible solution would be to provide appropriate gun lockers at the dressing rooms.  You know, like the lockers in jail house lobbies, where a gun is likely to be carried to that point but is not allowed beyond.  

 Sure, lockers would cost money.  But if this were a case of needing transgender dressing rooms, Levis would have built them already.  This issue is not a matter of cost, it’s a matter of cost-per-unit-of-politically-correctness.  There’s no convenient expression for that.  We know that 550 foot-pounds per second = one Horsepower.  What is a suitable expression to shorthand penny-pinching-virtue-signaling?  One Dickhead?  One Weasel?

 Joe Doakes

I think coming up with a measurement system for virtue-signaling would be an epic public service.

Sanctuary

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Being a sanctuary city is all the rage. It means local officials won’t enforce federal immigration laws.  Mayor Coleman claims it’s a states-rights issue: the feds can’t force local officials to do their jobs. Glad to see he’s come around on that point, it’s progress when a Democrat argues our for our side.  But why such a limited scope?  Why not become a true sanctuary?  Illegal aliens bring labor, but they also consume services.  Why not shelter counterfeiters?  Think how the local economy could boom.  Drug smugglers could employ lots of people if they no longer feared being arrested on federal narcotics charges.  Hell, let’s go all the way and let people sell high flow shower heads and toilets!  Think of the revenue for the water department!

 Joe doakes

Sort of like an O’Connor System, but more down-market and less asking criminals to behave.

The Majority Minority

What happens when you, much like a colonial power of the 1800s, build an entire political strategy out of harnessing minorities against the majority?

Specifically, when you do as the Democrat party – especially Hillary Clinton, in the 2016 campaign did, making the crux of the campaign about identity politics?

You will get a response based on identity politics.

One of the many lessons of the recent presidential election campaign and its repugnant outcome is that the age of identity liberalism must be brought to an end. Hillary Clinton was at her best and most uplifting when she spoke about American interests in world affairs and how they relate to our understanding of democracy. But when it came to life at home, she tended on the campaign trail to lose that large vision and slip into the rhetoric of diversity, calling out explicitly to African-American, Latino, L.G.B.T. and women voters at every stop. This was a strategic mistake. If you are going to mention groups in America, you had better mention all of them. If you don’t, those left out will notice and feel excluded. Which, as the data show, was exactly what happened with the white working class and those with strong religious convictions. Fully two-thirds of white voters without college degrees voted for Donald Trump, as did over 80 percent of white evangelicals.

If you make politics about identity…then politics will be about identity.

With all that that implies.