Archive for April, 2026

Main Character Syndrome

Thursday, April 30th, 2026

Joe Doakes, late of Como Park, emails:

Headline: CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Gives Firsthand Account of WHCD Shooting: ‘I Was a Few Feet Away from Him as He Was Shooting,’ Says He Wondered, ‘Is He Trying to Shoot Me?’

I’m sure that was pretty much everybody’s first reaction:  “Shots fired near the President.  Holy cow, they must be trying to kill Wolf Blitzer.”

Joe Doakes

After eighty years on camera, or however long Wolf Blitzer’s been doing it, it’s probably hard not to think one is the main character.

Incentive Structure

Tuesday, April 28th, 2026

As if telling the least stable people in our society that the President and his supporters are part of a crowd that our grandparents spent the best years of their lives killing eighty years ago, the incentives for leftists to commit violence against their enemies just keep piling up. 

Joe Doakes, once of Como Park, emails:

A brewery owner in Minocqua, Wisconsin promised free beer on the day President Trump dies but alas, another failed assassination attempt. No free beer today.

Now every Democrat in the nation and half the RINOs in Congress are hoping:

Wel, that is the point of incentive structures, after all.

Depreciated

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2026

SCENE:   Mitch BERG is fixing some broken chain link fence.   Avery LIBRELLE pedals down the alley on a recumbent bike, catching him by surprise.  

LIBRELLE:  Merg!

BERG: Ugh…er, hey, Av…

LIBRELLE:  Shut up.  Billionaires are evil. 

BERG:  Huh.  So why’s that…

LIBRELLE:  They pay no taxes! It’s wrong for a billionaire to pay less taxes than a teaching assistant!

BERG:  Their employees and subsidiary businesses pay immense taxes – and they personally defray taxes by using deductions and business losses – same as your progressive plutocrats.  

LIBRELLE: That’s just wrong.  

BERG: OK.  Put a pin in that.  Did you see where Ilhan Omar’s personal fortune dropped from $30 million down to well under $100K?

LIBRELLE:  Yeah?  So?  It was an accounting error.  

BERG:  Right.  The error being that the accountant didn’t consider…what, now?

LIBRELLE:  Deductions and…

BERG:  Go on?

LIBRELLE:  (Mouth flaps like a trout on the dock)

BERG:  Same as the billionaires, right?

LIBRELLE:  Pouncer!

BERG:  Nah.  But if we find out that her and Hubby Number Four used that “mistaken” valuation to get credit, I’ll be pouncing….

(But LIBRELLE has already pedaled away)

And SCENE

The Eternal Half Hour

Tuesday, April 21st, 2026

At Columbine, it took four hours for the SWAT team to enter the building.   There’d been reports of bombs – half-true – and protocol was to make sure the bomb squad had had its say before sending the SWAT team in.  By the time SWAT got into the school’s library, the victims and shooters had been dead for hours.  

Police training changed after that, as Federal law enforcement studies showed that the most successful deterrence to spree killers was to try to kill them.   It threw off the careful planning that almost all of them put into their attacks. 

Nevertheless, the police at Parkland dawdled for long enough for the murderer to have enough time not only to kill 17, but to leave the premises.  Uvalde was even worse – cops not only stalled for an hour, but threatened to arrest parents to wanted to take matters into their own hands while it still mattered; it took a team of Border Patrol to end the standoff.  

And now comes news that the Brooklyn Park police knew what was going in the Hortman residence for half an hour before they went in – by which time Vance Boelter was halfway to North Minneapolis on the bizarre chase that led to his eventual arrest.  

Some are hollering “cowardice”.  As my first carry permit instructor Joel Rosenberg said about civilian self-defense shooting, “a life or death decision you make in a split second in the dark is going to get analyzed to a fine sheen by lawyers sitting in a warm, well-lit, secure room for as long as they need”., and I suspect that’s true for police as well; room-clearing against someone who’s expecting you is frightfully dangerous, body armor ain’t perfect and even when it does stop a bullet it leaves you pretty banged up.   I’ll wait for a more thorough investigation (and I may be waiting a while) before I judge anyone’s character.  

But for those crying “cowardice” – this seems like a fine time to point out that people in our society consider our own lives  to be of incalculable worth, needing to be preserved no matter what and defended…

…by cops, who are expected to put their lives on the line for what a cop makes – an average of about $68K in the US today.  

So – what is it that makes your life of infinite value, but a cop’s worth risking for $68,000?

That’s the central thesis of Geoff Snyder’s classic “A Nation of Cowards” – a seminal article on the moral imperative to see to one’s own defense first before blithely expecting society to do it for you.  

It is, of course, a personal choice – but like most personal choices, there’s a moral component to it as well. 

Badly Managed Decline

Wednesday, April 15th, 2026

This past weekend the Strib went after the Minnesota Political Class’s elephant in the room:  what’s the problem with Minneapolis?

I’m not going to do a bunch of pull quoting – I’m not going to pay, and the piece was pretty much meh.  

But I’ve found another problem;  when you try to discuss the collapse of Minneapolis with people under, say, 45, it quickly becomes clear – they have no idea what Minneapolis, the Twin Cities and the state declined from.   

When I moved here in 1985, Minnesota was an economic, cultural and technological powerhouse. It was a destination – which was a big part of the reason I moved here.  

Let’s recount what we’ve lost

In 1984, Minnesota was a legit competitor to Silicon Valley. The top two supercomputer companies – the highest tech of the time – were here, spinoffs from a Cold War defense industry that was a national destination and made MN a tech leader.

It wasn’t just defense. In the ’90s, Minnesota had the densest concentration of medical R&D in the world. Hundreds of companies in biotech, medical devices, bio-engineering and every other corner of medical technology sprang up here; it was called “Medical Alley” for a long time. This concentration of money, technology, infrastructure and talent made the state a business hub. “Wait”, you say, “MN still has a lot of Fortune 1000s!” Sure. Headquarters. But 3M used to have plants all over the place, bringing manufacturing jobs and middle class incomes to places like the *East Side of Saint Paul*. Honeywell, Ford, 3M, Ecolab, Medtronic, Whirlpool and countless other companies used to BUILD things here. And it wasn’t just business – although we’ll come back to that.

Minnesota was a cultural center, too. Everyone remembers Prince; many remember Flyte Time – Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis and some of the biggest hits of the era; some of us recall when the Twin Cities were a hotbed of *all* kinds of music, pop and punk and what later become grunge.

And it wasn’t just  music; in the ’80s, MN was the greatest concentration of theater outside NYC, and we punched WAY above our weight in other performing arts – everything from dance to standup comedy.

And there was a film industry – one that actually employed a lot of people, full time, doing Hollywood production for MN prices.

That’s all gone now.

Some of it was external: the Cold War ended, so the big defense companies (Sperry, Burroughs, CDC, Honeywell) downsized. Technology changed, so Cray, ETA and 3M followed suit. NAFTA moved some of the manufacturing elsewhere.

But tax policy was exporting jobs long before NAFTA. 3M started shifting R&D and headquarters to TX in the ’80s; the film industry succumbed to a DFL tax grab in the ’90s, and disappeared overnight. And as to the rest of MN’s cultural scene?

There’s a reason places develop thriving artistic cultures, and it’s got little to do with artists. Look at every flourishing of ANY art, anywhere, throughout history; they all coincide with places and times where there was enough surplus wealth to support that talent.

Broadway didn’t create a wealthy NYC; it was the opposite.

Minneapolis in the 70s-80s was like that – a place with lots of people with extra time and money to support talented people doing cool stuff, and who were inclined to participate in great things. In 1986, Fodors Travel Guides called the Twin Cities “the Athens of the 20th Century”. Hyperbolic, perhaps – but not all wrong, either. Nobody’s said anything of the sort in almost 30 years. We’re just another Midwestern city now.

People like the Strib columnist, and people who take the Strib seriously, are saying we’re “witnessing the birth of a new city – different from the old one, but just as good in its own way.   

Maybe. Sure.

But cities and cultures don’t happen because of wishes. They are responses to economics, policy and demographics. So ask yourself this: Do this state’s current policies foster creation of things – cardiac catheters, R&B records, naval cannon, software, scotch tape, and the ultimate vote of confidence for the future, families?

Or is it just a bunch of people in buildings, just consuming goods and services?   And I’m not just talking welfare stacks – the “walkable city” is nothing but a vision for how people consume goods and services – a genial fantasy that never includes offices, warehouses, repair shops, utilities – or schools, playgrounds or kids.  

Because that determines the city and state you get. MN has become a consumer, not creator, culture.

That’s a problem.

Unwarranted Optimism

Thursday, April 9th, 2026

The other day, I went to downtown Saint Paul and actually parked and patronized a downtown business for the first time in probably over a year and a half.  I was meeting someone at a downtown cafe to talk some business.  

I met them at 4PM, on a Robert Street where a desultory car or two swished past as I wrangled with one of Saint Paul’s byzantine meters.  

I hit the button, entered my space number, and waited while it buzzed and whirred…

…and said “Invalid Space: Rush Hour No Parking Zone”.  

I looked up and down the street.  I saw a northbound car a block away.  

That was it.  

Downtown Saint Paul hasn’t had a rush hour that “rushed” since Norm Coleman was mayor.  

NATO

Wednesday, April 8th, 2026

Joe Doakes, once of Como Park, emails:

The American government should put the interest of American citizens first, before all other countries. If not America First, then who?

I agree with Thomas Jefferson’s vision of American foreign policy: 

Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations, entangling alliances with none.”

 A century ago, Europe got itself into trouble and America bailed them out.  We went back two decades later and did it again.  We’ve been babysitting them ever since. 

True, the NATO treaty does not require Europe to assist us in our Iranian endeavor. But they should.  The missiles launched by Iran could have reached Paris or Bonn but not New York. The oil bottled up in the Strait of Hormuz was headed for them, not us. 

What brings the issue to a head is not their unwillingness to help, but their inability.  The British navy has a dozen operational vessels.  French, Spanish, and Italian air forces claim 400 combat aircraft each, but how many are operational and how many have the legs to reach the Middle East?  How many German tanks?

NATO was formed with eyes East toward Russia but The Fulda Gap is no longer the threat. President Trump is correct that the United States should reconsider its membership in NATO. And then let’s talk about the United Nations.

Joe Doakes

 

Even as NATO’s civilian populations swelled, their militaries shrank to – I’m not kidding – 1/6 of their 1992 size. They shifted their missions to “peacekeeping”, and treated their militaries accordingly – becoming global mall cops.

The Thing About Americans

Monday, April 6th, 2026

Hey, Eurotrash.  Meet Americans.  

We’re pretty famous for not letting each other get captured by barbarians:

Aw, shucks.  But no, our greatest military success of all time was liberating this weasel’s homeland and the rest of Europe, in a war we didn’t start but that the French could have ended in 1939 before it really got going.  

Anyway, yeah – that’s us. Once we lost 18 men trying to get back a single chopper pilot – and he was already dead .

So – we lost two MC130s, each costing $114M, plus three Kiowa “Little Bird” choppers that couldn’t be loaded out in time.   To save one guy.   

To a European Air Force, that’d be a crippling loss to their fleet. 

To the US, it means we’re down to 57 MC130s.  

Now – if you’re a Euro fighter pilot, what does this tell you?

Although I wouldn’t worry too hard. If you’re a European pilot operating outside of Continental Europe, you’re gonna have to have American support to have gotten there in the first place. So you’ll probably get rescued too. By Americans.

Neary Every Day In My World

Friday, April 3rd, 2026

This is, as Barack Obama might have called it, a “composite conversation”. It happened – in bits and pieces, with different people. 

No Kings Protester (“NKP”): No kings!

Me: Couldn’t agree more. And what luck – we don’t have one!

NKP: You know what we mean. Donald Trump is acting like a King!

Me: I mean, if you disagreed with ICE’s tactics, I might agree – but that doesn’t make Trump a king any more than it made Bill Clinton one when the FBI killed Randy Weaver’s family or killed almost 100 people, disproportionally children, in Waco…

NKP: I don’t know anything about that, and I don’t care. 

Me: OK ,that’s fine. But you DO know that the “No Kings” organization demonstrated against the removal of Victor Maduro, who has murdered tens of thousands of people…

NKP: I don’t know anything about that. 

Me: And in favor of the dictators of Cuba, who’ve murdered tens of thousands of Cubans and many more around the world. 

NKP: Don’t know, don’t care. 

Me: Huh. And today the organization is supporting keeping the Mullahs in power – and they may have murdered more of their own people in a single day than the Nazis ever managed. 

NKP: Not sure how that’s relevant. 

Me: Well, “No Kings” keeps supporting actual dictators. 

NKP: I don’t know about any of them. 

Me: And billionaries, too?

NKP: Yep!

Me: So you’re aware that “No Kings” is funded by a network of plutocrats, including not only the usual Soros family trash, but Neville Singham, the billionaire who moved to Shanhai and is dedicated to spreading Communism – which has murdered as many as 100 million people?

NKP: So you say. I can’t confirm any of that. 

Me: You certainly COULD if you wanted…

NKP: I oppose kings in the US. That’s ALL I care about. 

Me: Huh. Like when Trump created a snitch line, an Orwellian thoughtcrime database, fired people who stood up for their medical autonomy, and pushed censorship of dissent and drove legislation to gut the Fourth Amendment for law-abiding citizens…

NKP: Yeah! That’s some real fascist snizzle, there. 

Me: Every last one of those was either Tim Walz or Joe Biden. 

NKP: <blinks>

Me: So it appears to me, a mere casual observer, that while you may oppose kings, you seems to be fine with dictators. 

NKP: JANUARY 6! 

Me: How so?

NKP: FASCIST! FASCIST!

Me: Wait’ll next week when we talk about the leftist and socialist roots of “fascism”

(But NKP has left the conversation).

Al

 

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