SCENE: Mitch BERG is in his garage, puttering with his snowblower.
Avery LIBRELLE walks into the garage, drinking a bottle of kombucha.
BERG: Uh, hey, Avery. To what do I owe the…
LIBRELLE: I needed a place to throw the empty bottle. Hey – Trump was elected by the Russians!
BERG: Well, it seems that the Russians were trying to do something about our elections, via propaganda, and perhaps online skulduggery.
LIBRELLE: It just proves that Trump was not legitimate.
BERG: Well, I’m sure the DNC hopes people believe that. But there’s no evidence they were doing it to benefit Trump, specifically. More to generate chaos. Putin is a former KGB guy.
LIBRELLE: Don’t give me your crazy acronyms. That’s racist.
BERG: Whatever. Intelligence people use chaos as a tool; out of chaos comes opportunity. If an American government needs to use its poltiical capital fighting internal questions about its legitimacy – which seems to be Putin’s goal, and seems to be working so far, at least among our chattering classses – then it’s less likely to be able to intervene in Syria, or take serious action re ISIS, or marshal any political will to protect Ukraine, Latvia, Lithuania or Estonia.
LIBRELLE: Bla bla bla. America’s intelligence agencies say it’s a smoking gun!
BERG: A smoking what?
LIBRELLE: Oops. A smoking microaggression.
BERG: No, they don’t.
(But LIBRELLE has already scampered away, leaving the empty kombucha bottle on BERG’s garage shelf).