Category: HUMOR
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Transcript: President Obama’s Call to Afghan President Hamid Karzai
WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama greeted Hamid Karzai’s election victory with as much admonishment as praise on Monday, pointedly advising America’s partner in war he must make more serious efforts to end corruption in Afghanistan’s government and prepare his nation to ultimately defend itself. Shot In The Dark exclusively obtained the transcript from US President…
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“When The World Gets In My Face, I Say: Have A Nice Day”
…but Arnold Schwarzenegger says… Title courtesy Jon Bon Jovi
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Pandemic Pandemonium
120,000 calls in four hours…and we’re done. Park Nicollet Clinic shut down its flu-shot appointment line today after it was flooded with 120,000 calls in a four-hour period this morning. They need to get that soup Nazi guy to handle this. “Not pregnant? No shot for you! Older than four? No shot for you! Healthy…
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Please Stand By: Technical Difficulties
To: Our Loyal Readers From: Me Re: The Crash of Shot In The Dark Sincere apologies for the recent lack of continuity our site has experienced of late. As I learned from my time in radio, dead air (and inside jokes by the way, but I digress) is a mortal sin as much in this…
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What Really Happened Up There?
By now everyone has heard the sound bite from Flight 188’s First Officer Cole: The first officer of the Northwest Airlines jet that missed its destination by 150 miles says there was no fight in the cockpit, neither he nor the captain had fallen asleep and the passengers were never in any danger. But in…
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“Carter and Gore and Obama…thats like the, the Mount Rushmore of Shut the Hell Up”
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Sunday Funnies
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And Now a Word From Our New Sponsor
Do you need tax-avoidance assistance? Do you have cash to “process” back into the system? Did you “forget” to vote the last few cycles and would like to “catch up” and vote twice or more in the next election? Are the monthly payments on your mortgage, flat screen television, leather sofa, and 24″ chrome wheels…
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“The bad news: ACORN Appears to be a corrupt organization that aids and abets criminals and gets millions of dollars of taxpayer money”
“The good news: it appears to be well run.” At last, we can all see exactly what a “neighborhood organizer” does before becoming a “public servant.” Interestingly, if you rearrange* the letters in “ACORN” you get….OBAMA! *and swap a couple out for others and use the “A” twice
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Blonde Joke
Okay, maybe this is a little off topic… OJ’s Ex-Girlfriend Thinks OJ Killed Nicole Brown Simpson Is this same woman that is featured in the joke about the blonde that couldn’t figure out why the garage door doesn’t close when she clicks the TV Remote at it? [Mitch, I think we need to create a…
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And My Name is Not Maggie
CNN has resorted to cruel, baseless name-calling. Ms. Klobuchar may not possess the ideal height-weight ratio, but she is not a cow. (please direct complaints on Johnny Roosh and/or this tasteless, racist, cruel-to-animals post to feedbackinthedark at yahoo.com)
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Lost in Space
Is NASA necessary? …before you answer that, remember, Star Trek isn’t real, and clearly the government already knows where Uranus is. Is there a cure for cancer or world hunger in space? Should we risk bumping into someone out there, and pissing them off? Do we need to spend Billions on a space station that…
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It Was Not a Pick!
It was a scratch! [end Seinfeld voice]
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Favre? …Favreau.
You think a Packers/Vikings game was a family-un-friendly cesspool of vulgarity, projectile vomit, urine and feces before? Just wait until the Vikes/Packers games this year – assuming Favre makes it that far. Packers fans will be leaping from the cheap seats when they see him in Purple. Personally, I think Jon Favreau would make a…
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To Be or Not To Be… A Viking
After months of back and forth indecision, the Hamlet of Hattiesburg has finally chosen to be… A Minnesota Viking: Brett Favre will be a Viking after all. Three weeks after the future Hall of Fame quarterback told the Vikings he had decided to remain retired, he arrived in Minnesota and prepared to sign a contract…
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The Matrix: Natural Selection Meets Text Messaging
A fifteen-year-old girl is texting while walking along a sidewalk with a friend and falls into an open manhole that workers were just about to cone off (allegedly). She’s okay. Her parents want to sue. But who is really at fault here? Now the important questions here are: How did both people miss an open…
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I’m just saying…
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Stimulus Package
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Poll: You Can Call Me Al
Color me surprised, but as of this posting, the clear initial winner was “The Senator from New York” After recounting and recounting however, I was able to arrive at a result more in keeping with the end I had in mind. I will hereby refer to The Senator from New York as Stuart Smalley, and…
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Now That’s Funny Right There, I Don’t Care Who You Are: Stephen Colbert on Anderson Cooper
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You Can Call Me Al
As you know, Johnny Roosh likes to employ fitting nick names for political objects of disregard here at Shot In The Dark and I would once again like to enlist your input. Best Nickname for Al Franken Frankenfreak Al Frucken Lying Liar Paul The Senator from New York Stuart Big Fat Idiot He Thinks He’s…
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Too Late for Us
Al Qaeda’s second-in-command urged Egyptians not to be seduced by the ‘polished words’ of…Barack Obama Dude. Where were you in November?
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Firearm Sales Would Have Surged…Again
Guaranteed…had it not been an April Fool’s Joke. Obama Changes NASCAR by Ordering GM and Chrysler Out The list (click above) of those outlets that fell for it is pretty interesting…and bi-partisan. Touche’ Car and Driver! …then again…who can blame them for falling for it…anything goes in this administration. Do I have to go the…