Category: HUMOR
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That Explains It
…from Today’s Star Tribune: Diane Ruffcorn, Audio Darts aficionado and Lead Economist for the Obama Administration.
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All Wheel Drive Anxiety
I apologize. You see when it snows like this – you know, constant, fine, light snow, the roads get slippery and when you hit the gas you slip and slide. You sit and spin. The thing is…ever since I got this car with all-wheel-drive, when I hit the gas, I just go. Rain, snow, small…
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Ohio’s Cinderella Man
By now you’ve seen the viral YouTube video and the media darling it made of Ted Williams. But is this a true story of redemption or a soon-to-be cautionary tale? Only time will tell. I’m rooting for him. This guy not so much. What do you think? Should The YouTube Guy with God’s Gift of…
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Don We Now…
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Jamie Lee: You Lie!
I know this is a bit off the radar for SITD but I don’t know of many television commercials more absurd; more ridiculous; more annoying than those yogurt commercials where Jamie Lee Curtis pounces on chipper but apparently constipated passers by all too willing to sample yogurt that’s way too yummy to be formulated to…
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I’m just saying…
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With All Due Respect Mr. President
I thought this was amusing and I hope we’re on the same page. I wanted to take a moment to step out of the box and socialize this theme and seek synergies even though this post probably isn’t mission-critical so we’re not going to expend a lot of our bandwidth on it. You say, “I…
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Get Out of the Way
Just what we need… To reach the older market, wireless carriers are offering lessons in how to text, introducing phones with oversized buttons and fine-tuning their marketing strategies. …octogenarians texting behind the wheel…how much slower could they go in the left lane with their turn signal on for the last ten miles?
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Why Gift Cards Were Invented
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If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding, how can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat!
Does Bill Cosby Know This? the substance used to make Jell-O, as well as many gummy candies, marshmallows, puddings and taffies – is often made from the skin, bone and tendons of animals, usually cows or pigs. The manufacturer grinds up these animal parts, treats them with a strong acid or base for a few…
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That Little Bit Of Wind In My Morning Sails
A few months ago, I attended a get-together with a few candidates. Now, the upside of a huge surge year like this is that you get a lot of people who are taking their first run at politics, and miiiiight need a little polish to their presentation skills. But I can feel good that not…
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Dear State Of New York
Dear New York State: your rent is too damn high. He can be your Jesse Ventura. He’d actually do less damage than Andrew Cuomo…
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Opportunity Lost
I almost hoped Queen Elizabeth would come out the door of the palace… …but apparently the Royals don’t have the keen eye for comedy that the rest of us do.
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Orville Freeman Would Be Proud. Or Sad.
I’m proud to announce the winners of the “Write Lori Sturdevant’s GOP Conventi0n Column” contest! It was the tightest contest in the history of Shot In The Dark, with my evil twin brother Jed’s “Anger Close” barely tipping Dave from Mound’s “A Tale Of Two Cities“, by a total of two votes. Speed Gibson’s “It’s The GOP’s…
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Help! I’m Being Repressed!
I just got a message: I am [name redacted]: I am a big DFLer, who was a key player in our 2008 legislative landslide, and who is working on one of the front-running DFL gubernatorial campaigns. I am on a first-name basis with every single DFL leader; I am welcomed into every DFL legislator’s and…
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Put Me In Coach!
Michael Moore is pledging to whip Obama and Democrats in Congress into shape – liberal shape – if he is named the next White House chief of staff. And Moore vows to sleep in the White House basement and work for $1 per year if the president hires him. “Now, don’t get too giddy with…
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It’s Science, Dammit
Look – I have utmost respect for the ideals of the scientific method; the rigor and skepticism that one must bring to genuine inquiry. And so while I’m the last person in the world to try to turn the recent revelations that Dr. Bruce Ivins – the FBI’s prime suspect in the 2001 anthrax attacks…
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Mystery
Bob Collins broke the story; the mystery billboard is not only real, it’s in the ‘burbs of the Twin Cities: National Public Radio is on the case; dissidents must be rounded up: At first glance, it would seem to be from some person or group who isn’t thrilled by President Barack Obama’s performance so far…
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Daddy?
Today former cover girl and presidential candidate John Edwards admitted that he is in fact the father of Rielle Hunter’s 2-year old daughter. However, it is being reported that Edwards needed proof first. So he asked former aide Andrew Young to perform above and beyond the call of duty. “Get a doctor to fake the…
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Eat Dirt
Vegetarians choose not to eat meat for a variety of reasons. Some cite the lower fat and cholesterol and higher fiber on their plates. Others for more emotional reasons: they don’t want to eat anything that smiles back at them. Hypothetically at least. I stopped eating pork about eight years ago, after a scientist happened…
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Not True
Stimulus funding a Shot in the Dark We are self funded, thank you very much.
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To Good To Be True
Is Barack Obama from another planet? Mystery as spiral blue light display hovers above Norway (while Obama was in Norway?) The mystery began when a blue light seemed to soar up from behind a mountain in the north of the country. It stopped mid-air, then began to move in circles. Within seconds a giant spiral…
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Purple Jesus
Evidently Adrian Peterson fears Brad Childress more than the Edina Police Department having been clocked on his way to practice at 109 MPH in his Purple BMW 7-Series [Ugh!-JR] on the Crosstown Highway 62. Minnesota Vikings All-Pro running back Adrian Peterson – or “Purple Jesus” as he’s known to Vikings fans [sound of record scratching…
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Ditto