Shot in the Dark

Category: Campaign ’16

  • Berg’s 11th Law Is Also Inerrant And Immutable

    The Strib endorses John Howe for the CD2 congressional seat currently held by John Kline. Nothing against Howe, who was a capable legislator and an estimable mayor of Red Wing – but this endorsement is a classic example of Berg’s 11th Law: Berg’s Eleventh Law of Inverse Viability: The conservative liberals “respect” for their “conservative…

  • Black Flag

    SCENE:  A conference room at the FBI in Quantico, Virginia.   Special Agent Charles SIEGELMEYER, in charge of the Russian Online Political Espionage (ROPE) desk, sits at the head of the table. In the room are Jared SCHLAUTERMEYER, a cybersecurity analyst with the ROPE desk, Juliana SCHMIDT-BULAWAYO, a senior Russian policy analyst, and Oscar VILLANUEVA-LOPEZ, from the…

  • Optimism

    Kurt Schlichter is predicting a dem meltdown. Conclusion: Nineteen sixty-eight was the year normal Americans saw the Democrats for what they were, and that’s the danger for them in 2016 too – that normal Americans will be reminded about what a circus of welfare-chiseling, race-obsessed, work-averse, baby-shredding freaks the Democrat party is. So keep fighting…

  • Wolf!

    SCENE:  Mitch BERG steps out of the rest room at City Hall as Avery LIBRELLE steps around the corner. Distracted, visibly in distress, LIBRELLE walks into BERG. BERG:  (Stepping back)  Oh … (a little nonplussed, as LIBRELLE doesn’t react, lost in  anxiety)…er, sorry…? LIBRELLE:   Oh, Merg.  Right.  I’m just worried about this country. BERG:…

  • Triangulation

    Joe Doakes from Como Park emails: Trump’s convention speech criticized free trade and foreign military adventurism.  America First!  Cue Liberals to warn of catastrophic global economic collapse if the United States fails to continue subsidizing the rest of the world’s trade and security with our blood and treasure.  Joe Doakes It’s a Clinton thing.

  • Quote Of The Day

    “Seems like all the Bernie voters that wanted a free education just got one.”   — my high school classmate Joe G.

  • Oh, My

    I guess there was a “lift” from the “dark, dystopian” GOP convention after all.

  • 10:15 Thursday Night

    Mitch BERG is walking on the sidewalk past the “Safe Space” – a Saint Paul bar catering to “progressives”, featuring free-range beer, organic locally-sourced chips and pretzels, and gluten-free “everyone wins” dart boards. Suddenly, Avery LIBRELLE gets off the bus, and removes a set of Apple earbuds connected to an iPhone.  LIBRELLE notices BERG.  …

  • Cruz Control

    A long-time friend of the blog writes: In Trump, we have many things- a candidate who is a master at marketing, a candidate who thinks he is in a popularity contest, a candidate who believes that the country is his personal reality show. Among the speeches during the last 3 days, most haven’t really had…

  • An Invitation

    Joe Doakes from Como Park emails: I’m too lazy to look up Mike Pence, the fellow Trump as picked for a running mate. Hey, Dog Gone – give us a quick FACT CHECK on this guy, would you, so I know what not to believe?   Joe Doakes It has become a pretty good barometer, hasn’t it?

  • Oceania Has Never Been At War With Eastasia

    Feel the Hill! No, you WILL feel it!  NOW!

  • I’ll Bet All You Sanders Supporters Feel Berned Now

    To:  Bernie Sanders supporters From: Mitch Berg – Uppity Peasant Re:  Feeling Stupid? All Bernie Sanders endorsing Hillary? Why, isn’t that exactly like endorsing the Wall Street and military-industrial complex he railed against? Yeah.  It totally is. Every last one of you has been had.  Played for fools.  Suckers. That is all.

  • If I Were A Betting Man…

    …and I’m not, but if I were, I’d put down good money that we’re going to see a big John Oliver bit on what a funny name Trey Gowdy is. And it’ll go viral.  Oh, yes, it will.  At all costs. It – the Oliver bit, I mean – will be all over the news.…

  • Since Obama, Hillary And Trump Are So Hot To Mangle The Constitution…

    …let’s just repeal the whole “natural born citizen” bit to allow foreign born presidents. And give this guy his third term – after his first two in Israel: I’d get behind him in a convention floor fight.

  • Quota

    Joe Doakes from Como Park emails: June 17th will be the 88th anniversary of Wilmer Stultz’s historic flight across the Atlantic in 1928, just one year after Lucky Lindy flew it, which resulted in a ticker-tape parade, meeting the President, lecture tour, book deal, product endorsements, new job, the works.  Not for him – for…

  • Open Letter To Everyone In The Eighth CD

    To:  All Youse Up Nort From:  Mitch Berg, descendant of jackpine savages Re:  Your Representative. All, Bernie Sanders endorses Rick Nolan.  Bernie Sanders endorses Rick Nolan.  Bernie Sanders endorses Rick Nolan.  Bernie Sanders endorses Rick Nolan.  Bernie Sanders endorses Rick Nolan.  Bernie Sanders endorses Rick Nolan.  Bernie Sanders endorses Rick Nolan.  Bernie Sanders endorses Rick…

  • Milestone

    It’s a milestone for women: Hear you roar!

  • Prerogatives

    Joe Doakes from Como Park emails: IT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK IT IS: How Clinton Donor Got on Sensitive Intelligence Board. A prolific fundraiser for Democratic candidates and contributor to the Clinton Foundation, who later traveled with Bill Clinton on a trip to Africa, Rajiv K. Fernando’s only known qualification for a seat on the…

  • Diminished Standards

    Joe Doakes from Como Park emails: New Rasmussen poll says 50% of Americans think Hillary should continue to campaign for President, even if charged with a crime.  Of course the answer is slightly suspect poll uses push techniques to set up the answer; but still, that’s a high percentage.  Survey questions here.  Oddly, I agree…

  • Pick Your Poison

    Joe Doakes from Como Park emails: C.S. Lewis’ famous quote:  “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point…

  • The DFL’s Praetorian Guard: Still Praetorian. Still Guarding.

    What do the headlines say about the legislative session? The Strib: the session “imploded“. The PiPress:  It “collapsed“. MPR:  It “melted down“. All fairly passive verbs; imploding, collapsing and melting down are all actions without authors. It’d be much more accurate to say the session was killed.  By the DFL.  For political reasons. Choo Choo Trains Are…

  • Stakes

    Joe Doakes from Como Park emails: Do religious organizations such as Little Sisters of the Poor have an obligation to provide morally repugnant procedures for their employees, in violation of the organization’s religious beliefs?  Must nuns provide for abortions?  Supreme Court failed to decide, stuck 4-4, sent the cases back to federal courts for more…

  • NARN-day I’ve Got Friday On My Mind

    Tonight, we’ll be doing a special edition of the NARN, live from the GOP State Convention in Duluth, from 6-8PM! Who will be on the show?  What’ll we be talking about?  We’ll be talking a fair amount about the goings-on at the GOP State Central Committee – and of course, the Judicial Elections Commission. Don’t…

  • Cop Resident

    SCENE:  Mitch BERG is buying topsoil at Kern Landscaping in Saint Paul.    Busily loading his car, he doesn’t notice Avery LIBRELLE climbing out of an oil-belching Subaru wagon to make a deposit.   LIBRELLE:  Merg!  If we elect Hillary, we’ll get Bill Clinton for co-president! BERG:  So? LIBRELLE:  That means the economy will boom! BERG:…

  • Everything You Need To Know About Hillary In 13 Minutes

    A thirteen minute lowlight reel of Hillary’s lies: She’s for gay marriage and against it! She’s “second to none” in her progressivism and her moderation 90% of her emails were on State Department systems, and one percent were! And that was just the first four minutes! Pass it on to a Democrat friend. (Via Powerline)