Archive for the 'The Rare Sports Post' Category

Killed

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

Whew, image what they'd have paid me if I won at USC

The Gophers mortgage what’s left of their long-since tarnished Golden status.

If you’re possibly the worst team in 1-AA college football and your newly installed head coach (who has a limited history at coaching at this level) has won one game while being humiliated in several others, what would you do when finalizing a contract?  Probably not add two years and an extremely expensive buyout clause:

The University of Minnesota formalized the hiring of Jerry Kill as its football coach, announcing Tuesday that the two have agreed on a seven-year contract that pays $1.2 million a year in base salary and compensation for media appearances and endorsements…

There are also numerous performance-based incentives including winning the Big Ten ($150,000) [that’s just cruel to include – Ed], reaching five conference victories ($50,000) and additional bonuses of $25,000 for the sixth and subsequent victories in a season [not a problem for the foreseeable future – Ed].

As Kill’s biggest critic points out, beyond the obvious idiocy of extending a contract from 5 years to 7 despite the program seemingly going backwards, the cost of ending Jerry’s contract virtually assures Kill will be the Gophers’ head coach well into this decade no matter how bad the team performs:

My first reaction upon hearing this was to assume that the additional 2 years were an exchange for a more favorable buyout structure, but according to the Star Tribune the University is on the hook for $600K/year for any years they buyout.  Odds are the University wouldn’t seriously consider Kill’s dismissal until at least the end of his third year meaning the cheapest buyout available to them will be a $2.4M buyout.  That’s one expensive fumigation.

The University’s policy seems to be to create expensive buyouts.  Tim Brewster’s buyout cost the U $775,000.  That was chicken feed by comparison to the Glen Mason buyout that cost $3.6 million – and likely forced the U’s hand in hiring the cheapest coach they could find at the time.

All this would be understandable if Kill had a major conference resume.  Instead, a coach who compiled a middling record in the Gateway Football Conference and the MAC has become the 51st highest paid coach in the NCAA.  Not impressive sounding?  It’s the same amount of money that Paterno earns at Penn State.  It’s more than Rick Neuheisel takes at UCLA.  And it’s considerably more than Danny Hope at Purdue pockets, and Purdue just thumped Minnesota 45-17 weeks ago.

One day, the Golden Gophers will hire an accomplished head coach.  Unfortunately with this contract, that day doesn’t look to arrive until 2018 at the earliest.

The Leopard’s New Stripes

Monday, October 24th, 2011

There was a reason I always referred to Senator Wes Skoglund as “Lying Sack of Garbage“; it was because on second amendment issues (and a few others), his entire body of knowledge seemed to have been unquestioningly drawn from easily-debunked chanting points from anti-gun propaganda factories like the Violence Policy Center and the Brady Factory.

Uncharacteristically, on the issue of the stadium, the Lying Sack of Garbage turns into a crusading seeker of the truth.  And I say “better late than never”, as he  urges the voters and the Legislature to call the Legislature’s bluff – especially the bluff that they’re going to move if the state doesn’t give them what they want:

 I don’t blame them — the tactic often works for them. But no team can move without the approval of the NFL and, realistically, that OK will not be given unless it makes business sense to the league.

According to the Wall Street Journal in 2010, the Vikings rank sixth in terms of popularity as measured by Nielson’s local and national TV ratings. Actually, we tie with the Packers. There always has been talk that the Vikings will move to California, but how do California teams measure up? Only one is in the top half — the San Diego Chargers, which ranks 13th.

To be thorough, the team’s stats may fade a bit after this season…

…but it is a fact that year in, year out, winning and losing, through Bud Grant and Les Steckel, Minnesota has been a strong football market; it sells out games, it fills stadiums,it tunes in, it supports not only the Vikings, but the NFL’s franchise, better than most markets.

The NFL is a franchiser, no different than McDonalds except in terms of numbers of franchisees; neither of them wants to close a franchise in a money-making, attendance-drawing location.

Now,a franchise in a money-losing, unpopular location with no real football mojo?  Rumors among people who follow these things say Jacksonville – a low-performing, unpopular team in a city with no real football tradition and inadequate attendance – would be a much better contender for a move to LA…

…for every purpose but extorting a stadium out of the Twin Cities.

I hope the Legislature does the research and asks the team and the NFL these basic business questions before they commit taxpayer money to the most expensive capital improvement plan in Minnesota’s history.

Let’s hope Minnesota’s fable “intelligence” kicks in here, forcing the NFL to pick a more sane option.

If Skoglund can do it,anyone can.

 

Fearless Football Prediction

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

The Pack will go 16-0 (or maybe 15-1, just to make things seem plausible), and sail through the playoffs, only to lose in the Superbowl to a visibly inferior team…

…by just inside the spread.

Because a lot of teenage children of sanitation industry executives in northern New Jersey and Nevada need Lexuses (Lexi?), that’s why.

(more…)

You Have Questions. I Have Answers.

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Q: “Is it time to bench McNabb and start playing Christian Ponder?”

A: Who cares?  Four months ’til spring training starts!

That is all.

Ahem

Saturday, September 24th, 2011

(Deep breath)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAA

(gasp)

HAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(snort)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAA HAAA HAHAHAHAHA HAAAAH

Bison 37 GoGos 24.

Fun weekend.

You Know It’s Been An Awful Year In MN Sports…

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

…when the TV anchors are suddenly feigning big enthusiasm over the WNBA and the Lynx.

That is all.

Finally, Sports News We Can Use

Friday, August 26th, 2011

Most football fans follow a team because they always have, and their fathers always did, and so on, back to 1920 or so.

But who should you be following?

To wit, the following flow chart should help you figure it out.

Yes, I know it’s too small.  Click on it to get a full-size view.

Color

Monday, June 20th, 2011

I like this…

…because it also works for Mark Dayton’s various attempts at budgets.

Adios, Ziggy

Tuesday, May 24th, 2011

Well, it’s May 24.  No stadium deal.

So I guess it’s off to LA for  you, then, huh?

(With a nod to AAA)

Harmon Killebrew

Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

The smell of fresh-cut grass.

A whiff of the “hops” from my Dad’s freshly-opened Hamm’s, and the smell of baked beans coming from the kitchen.

That hot-tar smell you get in small towns on brutally warm days, when the sun’s been beating down all day – hot tar and dust from the alley, mixing with lilacs from the back hedge as the day finally starts to cool down.

And the crackling from Dad’s old portable transistor radio, as Herb Carneal called a Twins game on WCCO (rebroadcast on KEYJ), calling out names I can still practically recite in batting order; Rod Carew, Tony Oliva, Bob Allison, César Tovar, Jim Holt, Greg Nettles, Leo Cardeñas…

…and of course Harmon Killebrew.

All, each of them inseparably, are part of remembering summer when I was a little kid.

Killebrew, the Twins’ first Hall-of-Famer, as you’ve heard, passed away this morning at age 74.

Damnation By Faint Spending

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

Bob Collins at NewCut notes the impact of the proposed Vikings Stadium tax on Ramsey County (Ramco):

The county has agreed to come up with $350 million, paid for with a half-cent sales tax increase. That puts Saint Paul, in particular, as the most expensive city to buy things in in Minnesota because it already has a city sales tax in addition to the state sales tax and the transportation tax.

He’s got the figures:

City or County Sales Tax

  • Saint Paul 8.125%
  • Minneapolis 7.775%
  • Ramsey County 7.625%
  • Hennepin 7.275%
  • Dakota 7.125%
  • Washington 7.125%
  • Anoka 7.125%
  • Carver 6.875%
  • Scott 6.875%

It’s all mostly academic, of course; between the taxes and the Central Corridor and the blight, hardly anyone shops in Saint Paul anymore.   If it weren’t for all the people tumbling out of the Xcel Center with their capacities all diminished, not much gets bought in Saint Paul but groceries.

“Oh, Berg, you’re just talking like a Tea Partier”.

Well, no – Collins notes it too:

A person buying a new car in Saint Paul (there aren’t many car dealers left in Saint Paul) would pay a sales tax of about $2,031 on a $25,000 car. Someone in Scott County, by comparison, would pay about $1,718.

Between Saint Paul’s idiotic housing policy, its stifling taxes and it’s  moronic light rail construction, pretty soon the city is going to be like a cold Manhattan.

Only without the jobs and social life and money.

Maybe “cold Flint” is better.

Me And Mr. D’s Neighborhood

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

I don’t know that anyone is covering the stadum debate  like Mr. D.

On the debate between Minneapolis and Arden Hills sites:.

The Arden Hills site may not make it through the legislature this time around, because there are far more important issues than a Vikings stadium. But one thing is clear — the Arden Hills proposal is the only one that has any chance. At this point, Minneapolis has to be rooting for gridlock.

Read the link to see why.

And re Sid Hartman’s crabbling about the team leaving downtown (and his employer’s backyard):

Sid’s been grumpy since well before any of us were born, so you have to take this statement with at least two grains of salt. He’s a company man and if the Vikings were to somehow find a way to stay near the Metrodome, it could potentially benefit his longtime employer, which owns a fair amount of real estate in the area. He’s also a Minneapolis man and in the eternal struggle between the Mill City and the Capitol City, he cannot in good conscience support any advantage going to the hated rival to the east (and I don’t mean the Packers).

He’s got several posts on the subject.  Check ’em out.

Then call your legislator and tell them not one dime of taxpayer general fund money.  Wilf is going to make out like a bandit on either site, especially the Ammo Plant site.  His takeaway, and his progeny’s, is going to be well into ten figures in the nine figures.

Policy Statement

Tuesday, March 15th, 2011

To: Legislature

From: Mitch Berg, Overburdened Taxpayer

Re: Public Financing for Vikings Stadium.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Not just no, but hell no.

That is all.

And Now, The Real Sports Season Begins

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

Super Blow, Schmuper Bowl.

Wild?  Mild.

Hoops?  Who-op cares?

The Twin pitchers and catchers report for spring training today.

Transcript

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

I got to the party a little late for the Super Bowl last weekend – late enough to miss Christina Aguilera’s ill-fated attempt at the National Anthem.

Fortunately, Nihilist In Golf Pants not only saw it, but got a transcript:

Ohhhhohoho whoaaaohh, say can you seeeeeeeeee

By oh by oh baby bye bye the dawn’s early light

What so proudly, so prouououdly we watched

At the twilight’s last, it’s last, it’s layihayahaidiast?

Whose broad stripes and bright, so briiigidiyight, and stars

Thru the really bad fight,

At the twilight’s last, it’s last, it’s layihayahaidiast

And if you wanna be with me, baby there’s a price to pay,

Goin’ proof through the night, you gotta rub me the right way.

Oh, say say saiaiaiay does that star-spangled banner yet wave

Whatever makes me happy sets you free

and the home of the brave,

And it keeps gettin better!

Next year: Reginal Spector does a minimalist version on an old Casio keyboard.

The Real Sports News

Monday, January 24th, 2011

The real story of this past weekend in sports?

Under four weeks until pitchers and catchers report for spring training.

Til then?  No more sports on TV for me.

Domed If You Do…

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

The NFL lends some heat to the Vikings’ hot potato stadium issue.  Will it matter?

It’s been nearly 12 years since the Minnesota Vikings organization started making serious noise about leaving the Metrodome – albeit under different ownership – but despite a decade-plus of bargaining and begging, the last 10 days have had a greater impact over where the Vikings will play in 2012 and beyond.  In a year of collapses, from the Vikings’ line play to the Dome’s roof, count the past legistative resistance to a new Vikings’ stadium among the fallen.

Incoming Gov. Mark Dayton’s support, wafting between lukewarm and simmering, is certainly more than a few degrees warmer than his predecessor (although Dayton just announced he doesn’t intend to push for his own stadium bill). And already some GOP legislators are attempting to craft a Vikings stadium bill.  On cue, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell landed in the Twin Cities for Monday’s game, likely putting more pressure on the local politicos than on the local press:

The former public relations intern at the NFL who worked his way up to league CEO had his talking points down pat after meeting with Gov.-elect Mark Dayton, a score of CEOs who belong to the Minnesota Business Partnership, Speaker Kurt Zellars, DFL leaders Tom Bakk and Paul Thissen, and some union leaders.

“We had a series of meetings today … they were all productive,” Goodell said at a news conference. “I think there is a recognition that we need to find a long-term solution for the Vikings here and get a new stadium built…

And it was Dayton, not Goodell, who ratcheted up the potential pace, telling reporters, according to the Star Tribune, “I really believe 2011 is the final opportunity for all of us to put forward a proposal … I think the writing’s on the wall. We need to get it done in this session.”

Short of the Vikings expressing a willingness to wait another year until the outcome of the 2012 legislative session (when presumably the $6.2 billion deficit will have fully addressed and the only major issue will be any bonding bill), the future of the franchise will be decided by the early summer of 2011.  And regardless of what does or doesn’t pass, something new will be with the Vikings – either a new stadium, a new owner, or a new location.

So which will it be?

Since Zygi Wilf bought one last lemon sold by the former used car salesman in Texas, Red McCombs, Wilf has watched his investment experience anemic growth at best.  The Vikings accurately lost value in the past year, down to $774 million (a 7% decline); still a $174 million improvement from Wilf’s purchase in 2005 but poor enough to rank 30th out of the NFL’s 32 teams.  This ranking is amazingly an improvement from 2007 when the Vikings’ ranked dead last in team value.  Coupled with word that Wilf has only been making interest payments on the loan he took out to buy the team, one has to wonder what exactly is Wilf’s personal financial picture.  No one knows the Wilfs’ net worth and given that the family makes their money in commercial real estate, it’s doubtful the Wilfs are doing as well as they once did.

Whether the Wilfs are credit rich and cash poor or not, Zygi’s options are all dictated by what the NFL wants.  And working to Wilf’s advantage, in addition to the Metrodome lease expiring after next season, is the first real progress in building a stadium in Los Angeles in the last 15-plus years.  Los Angeles Stadium, the brainchild of Lakers & Kings part owner Ed Roski, looks set to deliver a 75,000 seat stadium just 20-minutes outside of LA in the City of Industry – and has his eye on Minnesota.

Despite their overwhelming desire to get a team back to LA, the NFL isn’t terribly interested in moving the Vikings out of Minnesota.  Yet the Vikings remain behind in the battle for attendence with the other two most likely franchises heading west – Jacksonville and Buffalo.  Both the Jaguars and Bills play before less than capacity crowds in markets already saturated by multiple NFL teams (the Bucs & Dolphins in Florida and the Giants & Jets in NYC).

The reality is that the Wilfs will be more willing to move than sell – and sans a new stadium the NFL will be more than willing to consider it.  All of which begs an answer to the fundamental question – what are the Vikings worth to Minnesota?:

Economists Aju Fenn and John Crooker tried to answer the question in a study published in July 2009 in the Southern Economic Journal.

The two used “contingent valuation methodology,” which is a nerdy way of saying they surveyed people and used statistical models to turn the answers into an average price Minnesotans place on the Vikings.

The result: The Vikings’ “welfare value” is $702,351,890— $530.65 for each of the roughly 1.32 million households in Minnesota…

It’s tough putting a price on feelings, which is why some economists are skeptical of contingent value studies.

“It’s not that this is capturing nothing, it’s just that it’s not legitimate to interpret people’s answers as if folks were spending their own money,” says Peter Diamond, an MIT economist.

Assessing the Vikings’ “true worth” to Minnesota is microcosm of the stadium debate itself – overly detailed and largely symoblic.  In pure dollars, the stadium appears to be a massive loser.  Even Vikings Public Affiairs VP Lester Bagley only estimates the taxable revenue generated by the Dome at $250 million since it opened in the early 1980s.  At that rate, the Vikings’ proposed new stadium would pay for itself sometime towards the end of this century.  But whether counted in dollars real or imagined, the money to pay for any new stadium simply doesn’t exist.  Forget arguments whether or not Minnesotans are willing to pay for a better cup holder, even if additional revenue is “created”, most legislators are going to be more interested in turning such funds to the bottomless chasm that is the state budget.

Why not simply give the Metrodome to the Vikings?  The team remains the only tenant in a building that will become worthless should the Vikings relocate – unless the Metropolitian Stadium Commission truly believes a line-up of Monster Truck rallies and Prep Bowls can equal the millions generated per Vikes game.  Ownership of the property would give the Wilfs at least some additional revenue and the flexibility to remodel the property – albeit on their dime.  And given that one of the Vikings’ options is to rebuild on the same site, why not skip the expensive middleman and merely refurbish the Dome?

Of course, the Vikings aren’t likely to go for such an alternative.  Which is precisely why you should enjoy the Purple and Gold as much as you can now – because they probably won’t be around after next year.

Like A Boy Scout Troup

Monday, December 20th, 2010

They’re prepared.

…for a “liquor-free” Vikings game in the neighborhood.

Value Liquors — which is right next to TCF Bank Stadium in Minneapolis — tells TMZ they’re preparing for huge business since officials nixed alcohol sales in the college stadium for the matchup with the Chicago Bears.

We’re told the store ordered 50 cases of flasks, and over 4,000 airplane-size bottles of liquor. Hmmm … wonder what fans are gonna do with those?

Peeps at the stadium say flasks and alcohol are strictly prohibited … but fans tend to forget the rules when it’s 20 degrees and snowing.

…and I have a feeling there are a lot of frisk-free places to hide a flask or wee bottle of whiskey.

PS: Don’t ask me what I was doing on the TMZ web site. I wasn’t. I got a verbal tip, Googled it and ended up there.

Are you even listening to the words coming out of your mouth?

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

The Minnesota Lame-ber of Commerce is joining the minority and declaring it’s time for a new Vikings football stadium.

Vikings stadium supporters, despite the state’s looming $6.2 billion budget and widespread public opposition, will push hard for a public subsidy package during the 2011 legislation session beginning Jan. 4. [emphasis mine-JR]

Two thoughts:

1) How stupid does that sentence sound given our current economic conditions

2) Let’s wait until after Sunday’s Chicago game to see how much support there is for an outdoor stadium.

…or the Vikings for that matter.

PS:  GOP –  remember why we sent you

Quote Of The Day

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010

Speed Gibson on the deflation of the Vikings and, incidentally, The Dome:

[L]et’s hire some of Al Franken’s recount lawyers to charge the Vikings with breaking the [Collapsodome’s] lease for not living up to expectations.

When the Legislature reconvenes, I picture someone like Jason Lewis leading a procession to Mall of America Field as it’s now called, proclaiming: “Mr. Dayton, tear down this Dome!”

I could think of another host who could be persuaded.

He’s also show up at Winter Park to help ’em pack the morning after Zygi Wilf threatens to move the team to Los Angeles if they don’t ge ta stadium.

TCF Stadium: The New Home of the Vikings

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

…at least for a week…or two.

U’s stadium being prepared for Monday’s Vikings-Bears game; Metrodome won’t be ready

…nor will the Vikings.

The Weight of it All

Monday, December 13th, 2010

By now you have seen the video and national coverage of the Metrodome’s roof collapse. It didn’t take long for the media to speculate that an act of God is his vote for a new Vikings stadium.

The Vikings have been pushing for a new stadium for years without success. So far today, they have been silent on what this collapse means for their stadium wishes, perhaps deciding the best strategy is to let the event speak for itself.

The roof collapse says one thing and one thing only: a foot and a half of snow weighs a lot.

The only thing more ridiculous than a blizzard indicating the Vikings should get a new and presumably taxpayer-subsidized stadium without a roof, for ten games in Minnesota, is the fact that TCF stadium sits idle every Sunday already. Here’s something that really speaks for itself: there is talk of moving the upcoming Chicago game to TCF while the dome undergoes repairs.

TCF stadium is a wonderful facility and should have been designed and built in partnership with the Vikings. The fact that both shared the Metrodome without interference should have been a clue.

Maybe the Vikes and Gophers will get one now.

Hope 73. Tyranny 0.

Wednesday, December 8th, 2010

It’s hard for us, today, to picture what the world was like seventy years ago.

The Nazis march into Paris.

For the better part of a decade, much of the world’s intelligentsia actively wondered if democracy’s day had come and gone.  Various flavors of totalitarianism – whose ghastly crimes against humanity had been hidden from the world by a compliant media – had their adherents and even admirers in the West; Hitler and Stalin had both won Time’s “Man of the Year” award – making trains run on time impressed journalists then no less than now.

Here in Minnesota, as in much of the US heartland, the demoralization of the thirties led to a splintered worldview; the Minnesota Democratic Farmer/Labor party was cozied up to Stalin (and would stay that way until Hubert H. Humphrey, in one of his great contributions to the integrity of American politics, tossed the reds from the party six years later), to the point where it opposed war with Germany, with whom Stalin was then allied via the Molotov/Ribbentrop Pact.  In the meantime, the upper Midwest was a haven for the Deutsche-Amerikanische Bund, which favored rapprochement with the Nazis.

Stalin, from a Gus Hall fan site. Gus Hall was from Minnesota. The poster says “Happy To Pay For A Better Smolensk”.

Worse?  The totalitarians had just spent four years showing that their supporters in the West might have a point.  They conquered Spain.  Naziism dragged Germany out of the Great Depression (which had started ten years earlier in Germany than the rest of the west) well ahead of the rest of Europe or the US.  By all appearances, the Soviets were doing quite well too.

Poster for Nazi “Kraft Durch Freude” (Strength Through Joy) movement. Remind you of any recent City Pages ads? Me too

And World War II seemed to be the final nail.  Germany had swallowed up Austria and Czechoslovakia without a struggle; Poland, Norway, Denmark, Belgium, the Netherlands, Luxembourg and, finally, France – theretofore Europe’s greatest military power – all fell in dazzlingly short order, sending the Brits reeling across the Channel.  Britain had beaten back the Luftwaffe the previous summer, but everyone expected Hitler to get ready for another invasion attempt in the spring; his U-boat campaign to starve Britain into submission looked, to insiders, to have a great chance of doing just that.

London burns after Scottish soccer fans, angered by three straight 0-0 tie games, run riot.

The Japanese also were going great guns, as well as rolling up vast swathes of China before their military juggernaut.  State Shinto – a pseudoreligion not a whole lot different than Naziism in its own way – seemed a viable option to many as well.

And everyone expected war between the US and Japan, and probably Germany and Italy as well.  It was a year away – but the buildup to war had already begun; Roosevelt had instituted the draft and called up great swathes of the National Guard already.

And so even though the world hadn’t fallen off the cliff into complete cataclysm – Germany wouldn’t invade the USSR for another eight months – everyone knew that the world was a horribly bleak place on December 8, 1940.  And nowhere was it bleaker than for the world’s democracies.  There were those that thought the classical American notion of liberty was on its last legs.

To say nothing of America itself.  As the fascist wave crested, the Nazi and Fascist and State Shinto leaders arrogantly looked at America, demoralized by a decade of depression and softened by the decadence of its “refrigerators” and “telephones” and “movies” and “vaudville”, and thought that America would love its prosperity too much to fight for others’ liberty – or even defend its own.

The “experts” around the world counted America out.

It was the day of the eighth playing of the 1940 NFL Championship.    And the Washington Redskins were the prohibitive, odds-on favorite of the same media and punditry that had applauded Mussolini, who lauded and feted Hitler and Lenin, who’d uncritically published and eaten up Walter Duranty’s mash notes to Joseph Stalin.

Against them stood the Chicago Bears.  The Bears had been a dynasty in the thirties, but it was a new, harrowing decade, and, like Darth Vader swallowing up the Republic, things in the NFL had changed as badly for the worse as they had in every other part of the world.  The Redskins, led by Sammy Baugh, seemed to tower invincibly over the plucky Bears, like Dolph Lundgren over Sylvester Stallone.

Sammy Baugh

The Skins had beaten the Bears 7-3 three weeks earlier, toward the end of the regular season.  As the teams headed toward the championship, at Griffith Stadium in DC, the Skins’ owner, George Preston Marshall, told the media (who else?) that the Bears were quitters and crybabies – exactly as Hitler was telling his minions about America, halfway around the world.

The Bears, like the Brits, like the Chinese, like capitalism, like democracy itself, had no chance.  Everyone knew it.

The “experts” said so.

———-

The Bears brought some of the same things to the table that America itself did, though.  Indeed, the juxtaposition should escape nobody; the Skins, led by the German-descended Baugh [*], faced the Bears, as polyglot a bunch of Yanks as the squad in any World War II war movie – with names like Musso, Osmanski, Clark, Stydahar, Macafee, Maniaci, Kavanaugh –  led by Brooklyn-born Sid Luckman, the son of pogrom refugees, and perhaps the greatest Jewish quarterback in the history of pro football.

Sid Luckman

And the Bears were at the forefront of a change in tactics; they ran from the “T Formation”, allowing greater flexibility compared with the ‘Skins’ single-wing formation – especially for Luckman, who’d become known by the end of his 12 year career as the NFL’s first great long-ball passer, even as under the bleachers at the nearly University of Chicago, other Jewish refugees were revolutionizing warfare forever as they carried off the first nuclear fission reaction.

The Bears, like America itself, brought a love of the underdog, and not a little bit of good ol’-fashioned America ingenuity and improvization skill.

———-

And so that morning, inflamed by Marshall’s arrogance just as their forebears had been enraged by Santa Anna’s brutality at the Alamo, the Bears took the field, and took the game directly to the Redskins, like the RAF’s Spitfires and Hurricanes tearing into the Luftwaffe’s bombers.

And like the RAF – and like the US Navy would do a Midway a year and a half later, and the US Army would do at Omaha Beach in three and a half years, and in the Bulge in a little over four years – the Bears, against all odds, not only prevailed…

…but kicked the favorites’ asses.

73-0.

The “weak”, “crybaby” underdogs prevailed against the favorites.

Just as America itself did, five years later.

Would it have happened without The Bears’ epic victory, 70 years ago today?

Thankfully, we’ll never need to know.

But it’s worth observing that, as America’s fortunes waxed during the war years, so did those of The Bears, who won championships in 1941, the pivotal year 1943 and then again in 1946, setting up the successful reconstruction of Europe.

The 1940 Bears. Not just champions; titans of liberty.

The point being that the fortunes of America the nation, the shining city and the great experiment are inextricably intertwined with those other palimpsests of all that is great about America, the Bears and conservative exceptionalism.

It was in 1963 when our nation – a month past the murder of its beloved, patriotic president – needed strength.  And the Bears, led by Bill Wade and the first of many great Bears linebacking threesomes (Joe Fortunato, Bill George, and Larry Morris), gave it to them with another come-from-underdog win against the New York Giants, featuring airtight defense and an appearance by a young Polish-American tight end, Mike Ditka, upsetting the Giants and putting a comforting coda on the end of a horrible chapter in American history.  Americans could to go bed that night knowing that all was well.

Of course, the Bears’ fortunes ebbed for the next twenty-two years – as did those of conservatism, and of America itself.  And the nation’s fortunes, as always, reflected that waning.  The drought years of the sixties and seventies coincided with the epic droughts in the rest of American society; the Bears, America and the GOP reached their nadirs, with  the fall of Saigon, Abe Gibron’s years as head coach, the WIN button, Stagflation, Watergate, Desert 1 – simultaneously.

And yet three great Americans rose from the ashes during this time, laying the groundwork for a resurgence; Walter Payton, and Republicans Ronald Reagan and Mike Ditka.  Payton led the Bears out of the Wilderness just as surely as Reagan led America.

Walter Payton…

Reagan and…

...Ditka. When America needed all three, they were there.

…Ditka. When America needed all three, they were there.

And in 1986, at the depths of the Cold War, when once again “the experts” united to claim that America had seen its best days and the “nuclear clock” was supposedly ticking down as remorselessly as the timer in “24”, and that the USSR and the Patriots might well be viable and unstoppable in the modern world, Ditka (mirroring the rise of that other great Pole, Walesa) and Reagan and Payton rose up, leading other great Americans, Singletery and Weinberger, Dent and Schultz, Kirkpatrick and McMahon, and against all odds scored epic victories for freedom at the 1986 Super Bowl and the Rejkjavik talks, both leading in their way to the fall of the Berlin Wall and the collapse of communism and, finally, the re-ascendancy of Western Civilization.

But history didn’t end in 1990.  The Bears, like freedom itself, choked in 2006, against the Democrats and the Clots, leading directly to the defeats of 2008.

And after those dismal seasons, there were those that said the Bears and Real America would need years of rebuilding to be contenders again – if, indeed, either could do it at all.  That The Bears, like conservatism itself, were relics of a past unlamented by the likes of pundits Keith Olberman and Ed Schultz, or sportscasters Ed Schultz and Keith Olberman.

But when America, and Western Civilization, need to be saved, then the true heroes who walk among us will step up;   The Bears unpredictably have been rising out of nowhere to shock the league; the Mama Grizzlies, likewise, rose from nowhere to shock the political world.

Will it stick?  On the one hand, it’s too early to tell if justice, the Bears or conservatism will win out in 2011 or 2012.

On the other hand – we owe it to posterity to see that all of them do win.

But on the field as in and about the land, there is hope.  For conservatism is rising, and the Bears are contending, and for now there is hope.

Today, as seventy years ago today, you can thank God, Guns, Guts, and the Bears.

[*] Yeah, I stretched that metaphor too far.  Baugh was a great American, and was named “The most versatile player in NFL History” by the NFL network.  Luckman, for his part, served in the wartime Merchant Marine, playing in odd spare Sundays with the Bears.

You Are Exactly 3-7, Coach. Exactly.

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

Hours after the Minnesota Vikings announced the firing of head coach Brad Childress,  the team’s former defensive coordinator and now interim head coach uttered probably the dumbest, and sadly quite common cliche a sports personality can.

Leslie Frazier said the Vikings are a better football team than their 3-7 record

Uh, coach, it’s the games and the results thereof that, in fact, determine how good – or in this case bad – you are. That’s sort of the point of playing other teams, keeping track of the results, and ultimately promoting the better teams to the playoffs and beyond.

You are precisely as good as your win/loss record. There is no other measure.

Unless, there is a community service allowance we’re not aware of and that might be traded in for say a 5-5 record?

[checks the NFL rule book]

Nope. Sorry.

Maybe next year you will be a better team. How will we know?

You’ll win more games.

Favre’s Agent Is Reportedly Interested

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

From the “Sports I Had No Idea Existed” department:

From Pete the neighbor…

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