Last week, it occurred to me that I used to make a really religious point of linking out to people that I enjoy reading.  Back in about 2003, I was extremely conscientious about it; I was aware of the debt I owed to bigger blogs that had sent tons and tons of traffic my way earlier in this blog’s history, and put me where I am (which is pretty much the “C” list of blogs; Ed and Powerline and Lileks are obviously up on the “A” list, the household names; Michael Brodkorb and PZ Meyers are probably on the “B” list, big solid regional blogs that are key, nationally-known players within their niches.  Me?  I’m just a solid regional blog with 2,500 unique visitors a day.  Nothing to be ashamed about at all, since it’s about 2,490 more than I ever expected.

Of course, there’s a pack of usual suspects I link to constantly; KAR, TvM, Red, and a a bunch of others.  And the bigs, of course – HAir and the Powerguys and of course my NARN mates at Fraters, MDE and the Scholaz.

But there are a zillion other blogs out there, and it’d be really cool if a lot of them got a ton more traffic than they did, because they have something to say and a great way of saying it.

So I’ll be doing that for the next few weeks.  Just because.

Yesterday, in an event that drove headlong into two levels of “meta”, Kool Aid Report live-blogged the 1PM hour, “NARN Idol”, with Paul “Nih(i)list” Happe sitting in for Ed; Sisyphus proceeded to live-blog the live-blog.

While I obviously couldn’t host the show and respond to two levels of liveblogging, and I’m darned if I’m gonna spend my Saturday night writing something like that, I just can’t resist the opportunity to land the fabled triple-meta.

I’m going to delayblog both of the liveblogs!

The original posts are presented in chronological order, not sorted for their originating blog; I think Sisyphus’ stuff has the bold timestamps. I think:

1:05 – It should be illegal for Chad to utter Brett Favre’s name.

1:05 PM: Learned “Packer-Fascist” Foot believes that it should be illegal for Chad the Elder to utter Brett Favre’s name. Osama bin Foot will no doubt behead anyone who draws a blasphemous Favre cartoon.

10:35AM: Pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training, people. Who cares?

1:07 – They’re stalling. Nihilist must be late. Took a little too long to serruptitiously siphon gas from the neighbor’s car.

1:07 PM: Foot accuses the Nihilist of siphoning gas out of a neighbor’s car. I must admit, it is conceivable.

10:37AM: If you’d ever worked with the guy, you’d believe it.

1:10 – Top Chef debuts Wednesday. If you were only listening to Chad blather about it, you never would have known that. Luckily, you have me.

1:10 PM: Learned Foot informs us when the TV show “Top Chef” will premiere. “Top Chef” is a gay show.

10:40AM: Sisyphus must never have seen Casey, the eye-candy they threw at us straight guys last season. Or Jillian, from Project Runway. (I didn’t even know both of ’em won the “Fan Favorite” awards for the their shows – which means there’s gotta be a lot of straight guys watching.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

1:13 – More stalling. Yawwwwwn. I think I’ll liveblog the Gopher’s-Illinois game.

1:13 – Illinois 33, Gophers 29 – early 2nd half.

1:13 PM: Foot is growing impatient and is thinking of Live Blogging the Gophers vs. Illinois game. I don’t know what Foot is smoking. The Gophers aren’t playing until tonight vs. UMD.

1:13 PM: Foot hallucinates: Illinois 33, Gophers 29 – early 2nd half. Uh Foot, they’re called periods. And if you are going to make up score, make it realistic – no hockey score has ever been 33 to 29.

11:43AM: All I hear is a buzzing sound.

1:15 – Commercial. “I’m Andy Willoughby! How the fuck are you anyway?!”

1:15 PM: Foot mocks Patriot sponsor Andy Willoughby. Well played, Foot.

11:45AM: Andy Williby is a great American and a true patriot. And I’m proud to have him as a sponsor.

1:20 – Production errors abound. Nihilist must be working behind the glass.

1:20 PM: Foot blames the Nihilist for the Patriot’s production errors. This must be the first time Foot has ever listened to the Patriot.

11:50AM: Heh. Well, our producer, a lovely young Russian lady named Anna, was new to the show. She usually produces Strom and NARN Volume 1 – and new people take some getting used to. She did a fine job.

1:21 – “NARN Idol”? Everybody vote Chad out. Please.

1:21 PM: Foot takes another shot at Chad. When Foot stages his coup and installs Packeria law, Chad will be the first inmate in the Lambeau re-education camp.

11:51AM: Aaaaah. Spring training, right around the corner.

1:22 – OMG!!!!!! Paul’s had a stroke!!!! I hope he’s OK.

1:22 PM: Foot is not just a law talking guy, he can also diagnose strokes over the air!

1:23 – Never mind. That’s how his voice always sounds.

1:23 PM: False alarm! Foot just mis-diagnosed the Nihilist’s voice.

11:53 AM: I was about ready to make him sing “Burning Love”.

1:24 – Ha ha! A shout out! No guys, since I can’t be in the studio today, I’m taking a supplementary role. Just adding value; not trying to be a substitute.

11:54AM: Foot had childcare duty yesterday. If he’d only known that now only was the Patriot’s green room crowded with kids in Moonchild’s age bracket, but that Moon would have been among the more sedate of the bunch, perhaps he’d have come in.

1:24 PM: Mitch acknowledges Foot’s live blog, but what about this ground breaking live blog of Foot’s live blog?

1:54AM: Not sure how Hugh or King or Ed or Michael do it, but I just can’t read blogs and do a talk show.

1:26 – And we have Nihilist’s first Ayn Rand reference at… 1:26. Mark!

1:26 PM: Foot mocks the Nihilist’s mention of Ayn Rand – but he neglects to acknowledge that it is in the context of Angelina Jolie.

11:56AM: I actually went a whole show with neither a Marisa Tomei nor a Scarlett Johannsen reference…

1:27 – Springsteen sucks! Maiden 4ever!

1:27 PM: Bravo Foot, for denouncing Springsteen. But the Iron Maiden shout-out is a little forced.

11:57AM: Speaking of forced – apropos of nobody, but why do so many metal singers sound like they’re trying to push a triangular steel dookie out the nether parts when they sing?

1:28 – NIHILIST FACT CHECK! Geldof praised Bush for helping fight AIDS in Africa – not hunger as Paul asserts.

1:28 PM: Foot has the audacity to fact check the Nihilist? He states that Geldoff praised Bush for helping fight AIDs in Africa and not hunger as the Nihilist said. I propose a compromise: let’s praise Bush for fighting both AIDs and hunger.

11:58AM: Not to mention for “I Don’t Like Mondays“.

1:33 – Obama girl bumper music. gag. Play some MAIDEN!!!1111!!11

1:33 PM: Foot calls on them to play some Iron Maiden. Uh Foot, this is the NARN, why don’t you go listen to some pirate junior high radio station?

11:03AM: Well, let’s be fair; we were talking about peoples’ cultish crushes on Obama. Someday when we do a show on, say, the Battle of Britain, I’ll have Anna or Matt dredge up “Aces High“. Or if we do a show, say, on, er, running to the hills for whatever reason, well, you know.

1:35 – Is Sisyphus liveblogging my liveblog yet?

1:35 PM: Yes, as a matter of fact I am.

11:05AM: I’m tempted to start singing “The Circle Of Life”

1:37 – I smell a future Lori Sturdevant multifisk this week…

1:37 PM: Foot smells a future Lori Sturdevant multifisk this week. All that means is that Lori isn’t on vacation.

11:07AM: True, but I think a mash-note to Erhardt will deserve a special effort.

1:40 – The mayor sends his props in the comment thread: “This is a riot! Go LF go!”

1:40 PM: The mayor of the MOB is calling for riots?

11:10AM: If I could have a nickel for every time Ed and I have looked through the glass wondering what on earth it was that had King guffawing…well, it’d be more money than I’ve made doing the show so far…

1:41 – Just a reminder: this liveblog will be more meaningful less meaningless if you listen to the stream here (or on the radio) while reading.

1:41 PM:Just a reminder, this live blog of a live blog will be less meaningless if you read Foot’s live blog here.

11:11AM: “…the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiiiiife, it circles us aaaaaawaaaaaal…”

1:42 – First Nihilist P-Diddy reference at 1:42…MARK!

1:42 PM: Foot marks the Nihilist’s first P-Diddy reference at 1:42. P-Diddy has sure dropped off the map. I remember back when the Nihilist mentioned him every five minutes without fail.

11:12AM: If Diddy and Angelina Jolie didn’t exist, Nihlist would have to invent them.

1:46 – FOO FIGHTERS!

1:46 PM: What about the FOO FIGHTERS! At least he isn’t occasionally posting OBAMA!

11:16AM: Anna does have a knack for bumper music.

1:47 – Shout out #2! (NOTE: I think Pinkmonkeybird liveblogged a NARN broadcast once. Now there’s a guy who doesn’t have a life.)

1:47 PM: Foot acknowledges another shout out for his live blog. Still no shout out for the live blog of the live blog.

11:17AM: Ahem?

1:48 – Maybe NARN should give this Downey guy a shot at replacing Ed.

1:48 PM: First the Ron Erhardt supporters try to convince people that Downey is running for Hennepin County Commissioner (and not challenging Ron Erhardt for the legislature endorsement) and now Erhardt supporter Learned Foot is starting the despicable rumor that Downey is auditioning for the NARN (and not challenging Erhardt). Shame, Foot, Shame!!

11:18AM: With any luck, pretty soon Erhardt can do a show on Air America Minnesota. (Do they still exist?)

1:49 – CLOSED CIRCUIT TO MITCH & NIHILIST: Don’t forget to plug the MilF.

1:49 PM: Foot calls for a plug of the MiLF. But plug what? There has been no date set for the MiLF, so far as I know.

11:19AM: Check out KAR for the latest on the Millard Filmore Golf Tournament!

1:50 – SOMEONE ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE!

1:50 PM: Foot is unwilling to interrupt his live blog to answer his phone. Telemarketers will be disappointed.

11:20AM: Mmm. Breakfast.

1:51 – Hah! That “wazzzup” thing was kinda funny.

1:51 PM: Props to Mitch and the Nihilist on the wazzup bit.

11:21AM: All kudos to NIGP. It was his idea. I just cut it together.

1:52 – Inver Grove Bites is a dump.

1:52 PM: “Inver Grove bites is a dump.” Uh, what?

11:22AM: I think he was perfectly clear. And accurate.

1:53 – Apparently Sisyphus has been liveblogging this liveblog. I have arrived.

1:53 PM: FINALLY! A shout out to this live blog by Foot. Yes, you have arrived!

11:23AM: Cry me a river.

1:56 – Do you think that if the Nihilist bumped into Lileks in the studio, there would a violent explosion like when matter collides with anti-matter. Perhaps Sisyphus the Physicist could shed some light on this.

1:56 PM: Foot asks me a physics question: “Do you think that if the Nihilist bumped into Lileks in the studio, there would a violent explosion like when matter collides with anti-matter.” No, of course not. But if they both said exactly the same thing at exactly the same time, their voices would cancel out and you would hear nothing.

11:26AM: Close; when they walked near each other, it caused a total eclipse.

1:58 – This hour – and this liveblog – is over!

1:58 PM: This liveblog of Foot’s liveblog is over!

11:28AM: And this lifeblog of the liveblogging of the the livethunderjournaling of a live talk show is now done.

3:06 PM: A shout-out to this liveblog of the liveblog by King Banaiaian on NARN “The Final Word”!

1:02PM: Does this mean I have to start over?

Over at True North, Matt Abe notes that KTLK-FM afternoon host (and my long-time talkradio role model) Jason Lewis has built quite the one-stop shop for conservatives:

Tired and frustrated at waiting for conservative leadership elsewhere, Lewis is beginning to lead a conservative reformation in Minnesota politics, but not from where he would be subject to the slings and arrows of elected office. Instead Lewis is working from his bully pulpit of talk radio, the Internet, and a growing network of conservative activists. Overreaching by the DFL in the Legislature this session, and the crumbling of the Pawlenty veto firewall, may be adding fuel to Lewis’s fire.

Not to plug the competition, but kudos to Jason.  He’s also got one of the best “blogrolls” of conservative sites in the business.

And kudos, in addition, to everyone that’s been in the online agitation game for the past six years; the MOB, my fellow NARN hosts (especially Ed and Powerline), and True North.  After six years of running the most vibrant blog community in the country, it’s really impossible to be taken seriously in this market if you don’t have a solid online presence – which doesn’t just mean “a slick website” anymore. 

(But note to Jason; get an RSS feed.  Actually clicking on websites is so 2000).

There are still a few things you can count on in this universe.  The sun rising in the east; the futility of the Cubs Vikings; the fastball, the Jeep CJ, the Les Paul, Summit Beer, the National Review‘s point of view; God, country, death and taxes.

And Captains Quarters, posting eight to fifteen posts of brand-new, top-flight political analysis (and Notre Dame flakkery) every single day.

In these unsettled times, it’s good to know that you can still count on…

Beginning on March 1, I will begin working for Michelle Malkin, a friend, mentor, and writer I have long admired. She has offered me a position as writer at Hot Air, and my blogging will appear exclusively there.

…er…how’s that?

That means that I will close out Captain’s Quarters sometime in March.

 Doh.

Um…

…never mind.

 This saddens me, as it has become my ever-ready home and because of the terrific community it has generated. I hope that the CapQ community comes with me to Hot Air, and Hot Air will have open registration today for 12 hours in order to allow CapQ commenters to join me at my new digs.

Seriously – congrats, Ed!  This is a huge move for E-Mo, my friend, fellow MOBster and radio colleague, and will make him, if possible, an even bigger mover and shaker in the alternative media.

Yesterday, Canada.  Tomorrow…Red China?

(more…)

My other neighbor, Peter, went on a mission the other day:

Last Thursday, I got to thinking that it might be fun to watch the Iowa returns with some other political junkies in a bar or coffee shop. Mind you, I’m not so addicted to politics that I thought up this idea myself. I read about a caucus watching party at SLOG, the blog of Seattle’s alt weekly, The Stranger.

Could I find a caucus watching party in the Twin Cities?

I wondered about that myself.  I’ve never heard of such a thing.

And I’m not alone…

I took a look at the City Pages blog, The Blotter, but there was no mention of any caucus watching party. Heck, there wasn’t a single mention of the Iowa caucus. Meanwhile, on SLOG, the Stranger was offering regular updates from the reporter they dispatched to Iowa and the former intern who was now attending college there.

So I Googled the following: Minneapolis Iowa caucus watching party.

I found one — from four years ago.

 And I’m gonna bet it was a bunch of those “Drinking Liberally” people. 

Okay, so maybe this stuff doesn’t get to Google. I tried Seattle Iowa caucus watching party. Four decent hits, including the SLOG post.

Damn. I’m living in the wrong city.

Or we need to throw a party on Super Tuesday.

After I get done at my caucuses, if you please…

If you make Atomizer the next Ambassador to the UK, he can at least work with the locals to help prevent this sort of embarassment.

Back in 2004, there was a flood of new center-right blogs in the region.  I called it the “Class of ’04“.  Some amazing talent came out onto the blogging market back then.  It was a great time to be a blogger. 

But blogging – especially blogging by yourself – can be a pretty lonely, trying thing.  Some of us – Ed would be a great example – do it because they can earn something of a living at it.  Others – the local left’s lonesome voice of reason Flash, and the great Leo the Psycmeister, who is perhaps the most criminally-undertrafficked blog in the MOB – keep their work load in check by keeping the blog in careful perspective.  Others – me – do it because we’re crazy and/or we love doing it. 

But it’s not for everyone.  The mortality rate among the “Class of ’04” bloggers – while much lower than among the blogosphere in general (where about 99.5% of blogs expire after about three posts) has been high. 

Or has it?

One of the phenomena I’m happiest about lately is the amalgamation of so many of the smaller center-right bloggers into some of my favorite group-blogs. 

• Kool-Aid Report has added The Analog Kid and the Iron Matron (both of whom are well-known and exceptional bloggers, whose real identies are as closely held as Joe Tucci’s, er, was). 
• Anti-Strib up to 17 writers, now. 
• True North – my other blog – has a deep, deep roster.
• Freedom Dogs has absorbed quite a few – Diamond Dog, Lassie, Mannske, Guy – great local bloggers.
• And now, word comes that Truth v. The Machine has added Ricard from Lazy Gopher Pachyderm (in addition to Pat Shortridge).

So it looks like it’s going to be a fun year!

The media has convened in the press room at Shot In The Dark world HQ.

The reporters are taking their seats. The buzz of anticipation settles into a tense quiet as Mr. Berg steps to the podium.

Let’s join the questioning:

———-

Reporter A (Minnesota Public Radio): Mr. Berg? It’s been noted that you’ve achieved the one thing that was standing between you and the putative “big time” – you’ve actually gotten your own stalker. Would you care to comment on this? And I have a followup

Mitch Berg: Well, on the one hand, yes – it would seem that I do have a stalker. Actually, a stalker and a half – I’ve noticed the the “Lloydletta” blog names me something like 11 times in the past two weeks.

[Assembled reporters laugh politely, if uneasily]

But in fact, yes – it would seem that former porn-mag temp Ken “Avidor” Weiner has fallen into that role, using one of his twenty blogs and, apparently, his video camera and mad editing skeelz to draw the attention of his adoring public…

[more laughter]

…yes, adoring public to me. So – “good” news, I have a stalker. The bad news? He’s a piss-poor one!

Reporter A (Minnesota Public Radio): So to follow up – do you have any comment for the record?

Mitch Berg: Well, my good friend Joe Tucci – whom Mr. Weiner managed to “out” last week as the real name behind “Learned Foot”, and can I say “hey, great research skeelz, that took you almost exactly three years!’ – put it well, I think:

All Weiner knows how to do is steal off others’ websites, indulge his (erroneous) stereotypes and piddle his crap all over the internet (notice how I didn’t mention Photoshop) . Why does…

What the hell?

I feel like such a looser loser. Is this how stalkers feel all the time?

I don’t know that anyone could put it better!

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): Er, Mr. Berg? Do you mind if we call you “Mitch?”

Mitch Berg: Sure. Or “Mister Berg” if you’re nasty.

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): Mr. Berg, bloggers affiliated with your “stalker” Mr. Avidor…

Mitch Berg: …er, Miss? That’s “Mister Weiner”. “Avidor” was the name of an actual artist. It’d be like asking y’all to call me “Mister Hendrix” or “Mister Miller” after spending twenty years making a mockery of my real name. Anyway, carry on.

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): …sorry. Anyway, they have made a small cottage industry of making up nicknames for you. You’re referred to sometimes as “Blogger Berg”…

Mitch Berg: …that would, in fact, be gramatically and factually correct. I am a blogger, and my name is Berg! One adjective, one noun.

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): …and “Gasbag of the Midway”.

Mitch Berg: Given that I share this distict with Ellen Anderson and Jay Benanav, I must say that’s kind of an honor! Also…improbable.

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): So do any of those names…I don’t know, faze you in any way?

Mitch Berg: I grew up a tall, scrawny, greasy-haired, uncoordinated, athletically-inept cello-playing brainiac and a Bears fan. I got called worse than that around the Thanksgiving dinner table.

[laughter]

Next question?

Reporter C (Dump Bachmann): Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit?

Mitch Berg: I’m actually on record opposing it.

Reporter C (Dump Bachmann): But why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why, why why, Blogger Berg?

Mitch Berg: I’ve never supported it.

Reporter C (Dump Bachmann): But why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why, why why, oh Gasbag?

Mitch Berg: Nope. Never.

Reporter C (Dump Bachmann): But why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit…

[Reporter is tasered. By fellow reporters. His carried – with difficulty – from the hall.]

Mitch Berg: Next question?

Reporter D (Sixty Minutes): You make light of this purportered “stalker”…

Mitch Berg: …well, yeah, I do. This guy doesn’t have the balls to really do the job. He’s a gutless little moral, social and intellectual gimp who skulks around and makes photoshop “cartoons” and logically-and-factually-void proclamations because he can’t hold his own in a face to face…anything. Debate, discussion, fight, whatever. He’s nothing. Zero. I’ve wiped smarter opponents and bigger threats off the sole of my shoe walking through Mears Park.

Reporter E (Star/Tribune): Do you have any comment about Scott Johnson writing for True North along with Tom Swift, as our man “Avidor” reported in “Buzz.mn”?

Mitch Berg: …and Black Ink, and the Daily Kos, and the Daily Mole?

Reporter E (Star/Tribune): Er…yes.

Mitch Berg: OK. Three parts to my response.

1. Scott and Tom are both friends of mine. Ken “Avidor” Weiner isn’t fit to carry either of their gig bags, as a writer or a person.
2. Weiner’s big “point” against Tom is that he’s “nasty” – that he hits, he claims, below the belt. It’s crap, of course. But, um, so? Welcome to the blogosphere! It’s not like Weiner is a model of detached restraint! His beef is the same one Salieri had with Mozart; he realizes he’s not as good as either – or any – of the people he stalks.
3. Eric Black? Steve Perry? You share a local left-wing blogosphere with Ken “Avidor” Weiner and Kevin McKay and Mark “Revolutionary Gonads” Gisleson. By the standard that the Daily Mole and Black Ink are endorsing, you are guiltyi by association. Defend yourselves.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: Sure, in the same way that a three-year-old “hit a nerve” when she colors on the walls!

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: [Thinks] Or maybe in the same way as Andy Milonakis…no, not quite that bad.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: Nope.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: Nope-er.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: Still no.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: I refer you to my friend John McGinley, who said it best.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: [yawns]

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: I will give my next response in sign language:

Reporter G (Ha’aretz): You’ve been very critical of the local leftymedia…
Mitch Berg: Look, when a hack like Karl Bremer can get coverage in the Daily Mole and Black Ink, for a baldfaced “guilt by association” smear, and get it with breathless credulity to boot, it should make people ask questions.

Last question…

Reporter H (E News): Any truth to the bit we read in the Strib’s Blog House that…

Mitch Berg: Probably not.

Thanks!

[Pandemonium as reporters race for their phones]

UPDATE:  Learned Foot is doing a post-conference poll on the issue at hand.

And then, as he says, let’s finish this.

Someone buy Cake Eater Kathy a drink or ten:

Ahem

I Am Cancer Free!
Seriously.

No residual cancer in my chest, abdomen or pelvis. Also, no new cancer in my chest, abdomen or pelvis.

It’s all good, kids.

To paraphrase Dr. Academic, I’m as close to cured as I’m going to get.

Thanks for all of your support, my devoted Cake Eater readers. You’re a bunch of rock stars.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go and get stinkin’ drunk.

Kudos to Kathy.  And whatever it was – God, physiology, capricious fate, the karmic imprecations of all of her fans – that got her here.

I might just have to tip one myself, here…

They say “keep your enemies close, and your friends closer”.

“They” are right.

King Banaian has gone too far, proving that power, indeed, corrupts:

In the words of the great Parcells, if I am making the dinner, I get to buy the groceries.

Make no mistake about it:

1. King is not “Making dinner”; the mayor is chosen to serve as the bus boy, or maybe the kitchen’s saucier. The NARN are the chefs; the MOB are the clientele. The Groceries are bought by consent of the fed.
2. Parcells was a punk.

In a moment of crisis, someone had to step up and make a decision. Since NARNians were already in turmoil over this, decisive action was needed.

Wasn’t that Hitler’s justification for dissolving the Reichstag?

So the ingratitude of this remark from Mitch will not go unnoticed:

I call upon King Banaian to relinquish control over the MOB’s policy-setting apparatus and, above all, the “Blue” and “Red” lists of blogs’ standings in the MOB.

King “King” Banaian fancies himself a judge:

The Mayor’s office rules that Shot in the Dark must bear this logo in order to fly the MOBroll. There will be a meeting at the Patriot studios about this shortly.

I gotcher logo right here:

This one here is much more appropriate

You can take my MOB, but you can’t take my freedom.

Let the war begin.

Yesterday, I noted that in the wake of Karl Bremer’s rapier-like assault at the heart of the Minnesota Organization of Bloggers’ content-management and enforcement policies, King Banaian had assumed an unconscionable amount of power unto himself, and declaring himself superior to the Northern Alliance’s “advice and consent” role.  In effect, he has declared himself absolute dictator of the MOB.

He was given a chance to fall into line and obey the constitution – an imperative that he swept aside like Caesar crossing the Rubicon.  King Banaian rebuffed my efforts to broker a settlement.

It would seem the MOB – heretofore a placid, unified front in the blog wars – has been rent asunder. 

Though it pains me, there comes a time when a guy has to make things perfectly clear:

I call upon King Banaian to relinquish control over the MOB’s policy-setting apparatus and, above all, the “Blue” and “Red” lists of blogs’ standings in the MOB.

I’m maintaining my calm – but it can’t last forever.

When he’s had a couple of tots of Armenian brandy, King can be a jovial sort (and no, that’s not what he does before going on the air, although I can’t speak for his blogging-from-home technique).

But when he’s drunk with power, it’s a whooooole ‘nother thing:

I have stated that I have NARN as councilors in this matter, but all decisions regarding any membership revocation will be issued from this office and is the responsibility of the mayor alone.

King “Musharraf” Banaian has declared a MOB state of emergency and absorbed all government power unto himself?  What’s next – Chad “Bhutto” the Elder being held under hard-to-sell-house arrest?

The MOB’s constitutional crisis – the question “who will control the MOB’s boundless enforcement power and ruthless policy-setting machinery” – grows.

Who will survive?

Stay tuned.

While I think people who are completely ignorant about politics should voluntarily recuse themselves from voting (even though I absolutely defend their right to roust themselves from their torpor and drag themselves to the polls) in real elections, I urge every schmuck to get out and vote in the final round of polling for the MOB Mayor.

King is running for Mayor of the MOB:

Mitch says we need to pander to him to get his endorsement for MOB Mayor. I don’t think I can afford his breakfast tab on Saturdays, and he has only his vote to give — he’s banned everyone else but Flash from his blog. So we would like his support but need to focus on those whose support we can use to push us over the top.

Oh, brother.

Somebody go and vote for him already.

UPDATE:  Wow.  He’s pulled even with Atomizer.

Behold the power of Mitch.

Go over to Kool Aid Report and vote in the annual Mayor of the MOB election.

With incumbent Andy Aplikowski running a fairly low-key campaign (AKA “Throwing the Election”) and prior incumbent Doug Williams having disappeared, Hoffa-like, from sight (as in “getting kinda worried here”), it’s the most wide-open field since last year.  And the candidates are all good, except for Bobo the Chimp.

Voting is on through Friday; vote daily.  The front-runners right now are Tracy Eberle, Atomizer, King Banaian and…the aforementioned chimp.

(This blog only endorses candidates that shamelessly pander to me – at least in the MOB polls)

Happy Birthday to Teh Mayer!

It’s almost enough to make me want to learn golf.

I attended the post-Millard Fillmore Golf Classic party last Friday. 

Learned and Missus Foot, as usual, put on a great party; even Joe Tucci arguing with Mark Yost about who’s better – Yost is a Mets fan, Tucci’s Yanx all the way – didn’t cast a pall over the festivities.

Ben from Hammerschwing had a two part wrapup (part one, part two). 

Thanks to all, and I may just try to pick up a swing for next year (I’m told I can’t be any worse than Applikowski…)

I made it to the MOB party last night – fashionably late, for a change!

These things are always a dizzying melange.  I always meet scads of interesting people.  Where to start? 

• Met JRoosh from Roosh Five, one of my favorite newer MOB blogs, who had his own account of the evening.
• Most of the TvM crew was there – Gary, the Ringer (fully recovered from his car accident, or so it seemed), and of course Jeff Kouba, whom I believe I met for the first time. 
• The Lady Logician and the Logical Husband. 
• Neal (Neil?) Krasnoff from Loyal Opposition.
• Ben from Hammerschwing, who, I learned, is in seminary.
• John from Policy Guy, who, last I saw, was hanging out with Erik “the Transit Geek” Hare. 
• Wog from Wog’s Blog, who’s counting down toward a liver transplant one of these days.
• Lileks and the Giant Swede.
• The whole crew from Freedom Dogs – Derek, Lassie, Guy, Jonez and Pinkmon Diamond Dog
• Brad Carlson and his wife Jennifer, who took plenty o’pictures
• An ailing but ebullient Joe Tucci
• Night Writer – really the First Familiy of Minnesota blogging, with Mall Diva, Tiger Lilly, and their small crowd of devotees.  The Writer had an account of the evening, by the way, including a photo of me, captioned: “The Reverend Mother spent part of the evening eavesdropping on Mitch Berg. “He’s really interesting,” she said. “Is there anything he doesn’t have an opinion on?” [Hm – come to think if it, probably not…] If so, we haven’t found it. I do know he likes Springsteen [ well, yeah] and, along with Strommie, the Mall Diva [Oh, Writer – I’m so not like Strom…].
• Anti-Strib Tracy and his vastly better half.
• Much less of Speed Gibson than I remember – congrats!
• My neighbor John, from Crazy But Able (whom I’d nearly run down on my bike on Friday while he was walking with his wife and baby around Como) who captured the event with a lot of photos – which are, amazingly, very good. 
• My other neighbor, Flash, from Centrisity
• Dan, the Northern Alliance Wannabe
• King
• Michael
• Bob Davis and Sarah Janecek over at the radio table.
• AAA and…Carrie?  Keri?  Caray?  Anyway, Andy bought me a drink, so there’ll be nothing but favorable reviews of his presence.  Andy reviewed the event, throwing down on the mostly-absent Fraters…
• …who did, in fact, send Atomizer and the Atomizerette to represent.
• Eva Young, who does a lot less name-calling in person than on her blogs.
• Joel and Mrs. Rossennbeerrgg Rosenberg.
• Doug was there, too…

I know I’m missing some.  Cue me in!

And I can hardly wait for the next one!

UPDATE:  Gotcha, Joel.  Got Doug Bass, too.

Of course, I need to shout out to the ones everyone missed; Katie from Yucky Salad, Cathy from the Wright, Jordan and Mark, the Fraters, the Powerguys, Swiftee, Yossarian, Doug Williams, Steve Gigl, Jay Reding…

But it’s summer.  We’re happy anyone at all takes such a gorgeous evening and comes out.