This Calls For Clippy
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
I got sick of Microsoft pelting me with emails so I downloaded the free upgrade to Windows 10. Naturally, the software developers couldn’t resist “helping” and “improving” by moving things around.
Control Panel still exists, but it’s not called that. It’s in “Settings” and you get there by left-clicking the “Windows” icon in the lower left (formerly the “Start Button”) to bring up the “Life at a Glance” panel of icons that includes the “Cog” which looks like a gear wheel to me. Left-click that to get to another page of groupings and click around those icons until you find the Control Panel feature that you wanted in the first place.
Not an improvement, in my opinion. They’ve made it harder to find, probably intentionally, so that mere users don’t change the default settings approved by the god-like geniuses who set up the new user interface. After all, I don’t own the software, I merely have a license to use it, when it feels like working, which is not all the time.
“Task Manager” doesn’t show up at all and I can’t figure out why not. What – the developers think the apps will never hang up? I’ll never need to crash a program to get out of it? Nonsense, it’s Windows, of course they’ll hang and of course I’ll need to crash them. Already have. But to get that power, you must to right-click the black stripe at the bottom of the screen (the “Task Bar”) to bring up an alternate context menu in which Task Manager is one choice. Nobody tells you that, it’s not in the help menu, I had to find it on YouTube. Windows REALLY doesn’t want the mere operator messing around with useful stuff like how to get the computer working again.
I know, I could spend the money on Apple which would work first time, every time, but I hate how fascist they are (Ve haf made ze settings unt you vill use zem unt you vill like zem and you vill not change zem, verstehen sie?). Or I could learn to use Ubuntu or Red Hat or Linux and spend the rest of my life fighting with incompatible software workarounds. Or buy a Chromebook and give my every thought to the Democrats (technically the federal government bureaucracy, but that’s pretty much the same thing nowadays).
I just want it to work. It doesn’t seem like so much to ask.
Joe Doakes
I work in “User Experience Design” for my day job – it’s a fancy term for “making software suck less for real people”. I read stories like this, and hear “permanent job security”.















