Found in the comments for a Facebook page story about someone someone who intended to, um, evacuate into his ex-girlfriend’s car, but, er, left it in the wrong one:

Sounds like an urban legend. Or possibly a new strategy for Tea Baggers! Throw your soiled Depends diaper into the offices of a Democratic congressman! (And hope you have his real address, not his brother’s!) Then skeedattle post haste on your Rascal (TM) mobility scooter, paid for by Medicare!

 Er, yeah.

With enemies this stupid, who needs friends?

Remember when Republicans were the “dumb” party?

I’m feeling better about November every day.

(more…)

Bloomberg radio on XM reported this morning that that Jimmy II, palms sore from high fives all around, is hitting the road to sell his health care deform bill.

But sir! Isn’t it the law of the land now? Why does it need to be sold?

Again and again and again?

President Obama spent 14 months getting to this moment, but aides said Monday that he wouldn’t spend much time savoring it. He plans an aggressive campaign to clarify what the bill does and try to deflect a Republican counter-assault. And other policy goals he had postponed in favor of healthcare now jump to the front of the line.

We’ve heard that before.

Only a clinically delusional man could at this juncture think he can simultaneously campaign for his health care plan and move other priorities (it’s the economy stupid) back onto his desk.

Any expectations of bipartisanship or cooperation on the part of the now neutered Blue Dogs on any issue have dissolved in the caustic environment that is the residue of Madame Pelosi and President Obama’s pressure-cooker tactics. Nonetheless, it appears Obama has more to concern himself with than the GOP.

The President is facing an American counter-assault.

Republicans, right now, can feel they’re on the side of the voters, who polls show simply don’t like the overarching bill. A CNN poll Monday showed 59 percent of voters oppose the reform bill passed by the House late Sunday, compared with 39 percent who support it.

Iowa is only the first stop in what will be a concerted White House effort to explain a bill that many Americans don’t understand.

Mr. President; Mr. Emanuel, you arrogant, condescending pricks with all due respect, America understands a lot more…now.

In November they may have found dubious the GOP’s attempts to hang labels of extremism and socialism around then-candidate Obama’s neck, but sixteen months later an implicit “we told you so” is being met with nods of acknowledgment.

“If this is going to be turned into a real asset for Democrats, the president and others have to be out there in a continual effort to sell this plan,” said Mark Mellman, a Democratic pollster. “Just letting it lie is not good. It’s got to be sold, sold actively and sold vigorously.”

…and that will be their downfall, if we haven’t already witnessed it.

How obtuse can one pollster be, let alone an entire administration – nay an entire political party – to not realize the obvious fact that the more this cluster has been sold, the lower it’s popularity has sunk?

“I don’t think there’s any place that it’s going to be helpful to them,” Jesmer said, scoffing at Democrats’ assertion that they will be able to turn the tide of public opinion. “They have been selling this thing for 13 months — all they’ve been doing is selling it.”

That is the sole reason the Senate vote was conducted on Christmas Eve and the House vote in a hurry-up huddle on Sunday night –  for fear sniveling, castrated Democratic lawmakers might escape to find themselves in a conversation with increasingly disapproving constituents.

The party hopes to make that case with a healthy dose of testimonials from Obama, who signs the bill Tuesday, then totes it on the road to Iowa on Thursday to sell it.

(SCENE:  President Obama is leaving the White House after signing the “Obamacare” bill into law)

ANNOUNCER:  “Mr. President!  You’ve just signed a bill that didn’t actually “solve” a nonexistent “problem” [1]!  What are you going to do now?”

PRESIDENT OBAMA: I’m going to solve another one!”. [2]

After a hard-fought victory on health care reform, President Barack Obama’s allies in Congress are setting their sights on climate change — but some on both sides are already crying foul.

AMERICA [speaking Patrius ex machina]: “Er…how about going to Disneyland instead?”

(more…)

To:  All you Democrats who’ve spent the last umpteen years yipping about Dick Cheney’s muted outburst in the well of the Senate

From: Mitch Berg

Ahem.

At least Leahy deserved it.

The entire American people?  Pfft.

That is all.

Joe Doakes from Como Park writes:

I’m disappointed that Betty GAVE her vote away, instead of holding out for more home-state swag, as did her colleagues from Nebraska, Florida, etc.

Well, that’s the difference between prostitutes mercenaries like Stupak, Nelson and Tester, and true believers like McCollum.  The former will fight the battle for their own perceived advantage; the latter does it based on pure zeal for the cause.

A DFL legislator would very much like to give school districts the power to raise taxes without voter approval:

“In any other year, I would be horrified by the idea,” said Rep. Mindy Greiling, DFL-Roseville. “But I will consider this as a short-term solution. Education funding should be from the state. But schools need a lifeline right now.”

Greiling, who chairs the House K-12 Education Finance Division, introduced a bill last week that would allow school districts to levy up to $200 per pupil from local taxpayers without voter approval.

The bill is one of three that gives districts more taxing authority. They are scheduled to go in front of Greiling’s committee this week.

Great idea, DFL.  People are hurting, unemployment is booming – shake ’em down for more!

Not every DFLer has lost his mind:

“I’m very hesitant to do that. When property taxes have gone up $3.6 billion since 2003, we don’t need to be raising more property taxes,” said Rep. Paul Marquart, DFL-Dilworth, chairman of the House Property and Local Sales Tax Division.

About three-quarters of school funding — close to $7 billion annually — comes from the state.

The rest comes from property taxes. School districts across the state levied about $2.3 billion for taxes payable in 2010.

That 2.3 billion, by the way, is money that charter schools don’t get; whenever any DFL/MFT/MN2020 flaks tell you “charter schools cost more than public schools”, ask ’em why they’re leaving out a quarter of the budget.

At any rate, here’s the DFL’s message to you; “our institutions can’t operate within a budget, like the rest of you have to, so we’re going to take what we need.  We’ll let you know when we’ve decided what that is. Buh-bye”.

President Obama polishes a turd:

“We proved that this government — a government of the people and by the people — still works for the people,” the president said late Sunday, beginning his sales pitch from the White House one hour after Congress passed the sweeping measure.

It works “for the people” – 55% of whom oppose the bill.  That’s two percent more than his final vote total in ’08.

He’s like the Cheshire Cat; “”For the people” means what I say it means.  Ummm, no more and, aaaahm, let me be perfectly clear, no less!”

In a story with endless flips and flops, on what may be domestic America’s Longest Day, The Hill reports Pelosi may come up short:

Hours before a scheduled vote on healthcare reform, Democratic leaders don’t have the votes.

The decisions of two Tennessee Democrats, Reps. John Tanner and Lincoln Davis, to vote no has put President Barack Obama, Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and her lieutenants in a major bind.

If every member votes, Democratic leaders can only afford 37 defections. According to The Hill’s whip list, there are 39 Democrats planning to vote no.

“For now”, as Stupak, being apparently more a negotiator than a pro-lifer, says.

…our friend Angry Webmaster has translated “no” into a slew of languages:

否 nr non nein
αριθ. No
いいえ 아니다
não нет no Ne Ei לא नहीं
Nem Nei Le Ní hea
Nē Не بدون Nu Hapana Nej ไม่ใช่

Hayır Ні Không Dim קיין Nee Jo
لا Няма

Please make sure Congress gets the message…

Chad from Fraters Libertas steps on to my favorite turf; comparative history:

It’s interesting to note how often military battles are invoked for comparisons or metaphors for political battles. Commentary on President Obama’s recent campaign for health care is replete with references to historical military campaigns or specific battles.

Last summer, Senator Jim Demint was the first, but far from the last, to speculate that failure to enact health care reform could be Obama’s Waterloo. At the time, I thought that Stalingrad might be more appropriate as a health care defeat for Obama wouldn’t necessarily be the beginning of the end, but rather the end of the beginning. More recently, we’ve seen speculation that even if health care reform is somehow rammed through, it will be a Pyrrhic victory for the President.

Now, it seems like there’s a new favorite making the rounds with more and more pundits comparing Pelosi’s health care cramdown to Pickett’s Charge at the Battle of Gettysburg. This one does seem to be especially apt at the moment. For like General Lee at Gettysburg, President Obama’s final push on health care is a desperate gamble in the hopes of achieving a smashing victory that will change history. Like Lee’s choice after two hard fought days at Gettysburg, President Obama could have chosen to disengage, to step away from the fight, lick his wounds, and wait for another opportunity.

All of them are good examples.  But I have a better one.

Suomussalmi.

In the winter of 1939-1940, the Soviets invaded Finland; I wrote about the 70th anniversary of the Talvesota, the Winter War, last winter.

One of the defining battles took place near the village of Suomussalmi.  Two Soviet divisi0ns – 30,000 men and hundreds of tanks – charged into terrain that was a lot like the Iron Range; swampy, wooded terrain broken up by thousands of lakes.  The Finnish military – regular citizens with guns who’d done a year of national service in their teens, and got called back to service wearing civilian winter duds and their own skis – knew they couldn’t fight the armored Red juggernaut face to face, outnumber 10 to 1. 

So they faded into the woods, and the dark and the -40 cold, slipping out of cover at night to kill sentries and fell trees across roads and blow up field kitchens (without which fighting at -40 is a pretty dicey prospect) and cutting the Soviets off from supplies, rescue and, eventually, hope.  90% of the Soviets who went into Suomussalmi died, in Finnish hit-and-run ski attacks or from snipers that hid in the woods or, finally, from exposure. 

When Obama and his minions in Congress have to try to justify not only their taxation and spending, but their unprecedented bulldozing of our legislative system, to the people this summer and fall, they may look and feel – rhetorically, at least – like the thousands of Ivans stranded in the Finnish woods.  Tic congresscritters may look and feel a lot like the vaunted Russian tanks after an army of literal and proverbial Davids get done with them.

The Russian printing on the side says "David Walz". I kid you not.

.The Russians responded to the crushing defeat (the first of several along their long border with Finland) with huge callup of reserves, following by an immense, relentless, bloody offensive that wore the Finns down.

And that’s where the parallel breaks down.  Because in this battle, the Davids are gaining strength; the lumpen statists are whizzing theirs away as I write this.

Sisu, everyone.

I just left this message at Rep. McCollum’s website:

———-

Rep. McCollum,

I’m Mitchell Berg.  I’m a constituent of yours, from the Midway.

And while I realize there’s scant chance that you will change your vote, I need to make sure you know that at least one of your constituents is revolted by the current process in Washington.  Speaker Pelosi and Senator Reid are making a mockery of House and Senate rules…

…in service of a bill that *will* bankrupt this nation and *will* destroy our healthcare system. 

I realize that it’s pointless to ask you to vote for what’s best for our grandchildren and generations thereafter.  But I’m going to make sure I ask anyway.

Sincerely,

Mitchell Berg
Constituent

In all of the world, there can be no less valuable measure of competence or ability to succeed at ones’ job than a “Teaching Certificate”.

Now, I’m not bagging on teachers.  My dad, my sister, and two of my grandparents are or were teachers.  I taught, myself, for a while.

But what does a “Teaching License” mean?

It means that a teacher has taken a number of prescribed classes in an “Education” program – the kind of thing my father, who was not only the world’s best teacher for almost 40 years, but also taught education courses to would-be teachers full and part-time for many years – derisively called “Theory of the Eraser 352”.  They’ve also spent some time practice-teaching in a classroom.  And that’s about it.

I thought about this a few years back, when a friend and former manager of mine decided to chuck it all, leave the IT business, take his degree in math, and become a high school math teacher.  Now, the guy was a natural teacher; in a just world (or if he’s wanted to teach at a private school), he would have been hired off the street.

But no.  He, with his degree in math from a rigorous program, had to sit through a couple of years of classes on arcane pedagogy methods – “Theory of the Eraser” – and basically repeat two years of college  (in the least rigorous, most hot-air-puffed department on his or any campus).  When we last spoke, he was about to start practice-teaching – and was already sounding a little burned out with the system.

Why could he not just take his degree, and his years of experience and passion for the subject, and start teaching?

For the same reason you can not start a barber shop or a law firm or a nail salon or an electrical repair company without a license; because the people who already have the licenses want to regulate the supply of practicioners, to keep the supply of the service down and the prices up.

A few weeks ago, the Legislature saw a bill that would have allowed for “alternative licensure” of teachers – basically allowing people with significant real-world experience and who wanted to try their hands at teaching to get a fast-track to licensure.

Kevin Dahle – who squiggled into office in a special election two years ago over Ray Cox in SD25 – is part of the DFL push to squash the idea:

This past Tuesday, the Education committee in the Minnesota Senate passed an alternative Teacher licensure bill. I voted against that bill.

At a time when discussions have focused on increased rigor, teacher quality, and closing the achievement gap, fast tracking teacher licensure doesn’t see make sense.

Maybe it doesn’t, maybe it does.  It would help if Senator Dahle would provide some actual evidence either way.

All we get, though, is non-sequitur:

Senate File 2757 would allow person with a BA who has passed reading, writing, and math exams and a 5 week preparation course to be in charge of a classroom.

How can an individual, who has not adequately demonstrated proven success in an actual classroom setting experience, do a better job in closing the achievement gap?

In and of itself?  They probably can’t.

Of course, that would be a problem – if teachers with alternative licenses walked into classrooms and started teaching kids and drawing paychecks sight-unseen.  Now, I’m no school board member, but I’m going to guess that there might be some sort of evaluation process before a district hires a new teacher.

But why is this even an issue?  After all, we’ve all seen the headlines; districts are laying off teachers!  Even Senator Dahle notes it (empasis added):

Hundreds of laid off teachers and recent college graduates from 4 year teacher preparation programs are already looking for work. There are sufficient high quality experienced teachers for most subjects.

“Most subjects”.

It’s true.  There’s a glut of out of work teachers in many areas.

But the state is critically short of teachers in science and math.  We are begging for English as a Second Language teachers.  Heck, they can’t find male teachers to work in elementary schools – between the hostile feminism that runs the education academy and the thanklessness of being a union teacher, the number is plummeting even as our urban social collapse presents a dire need for male role models in our schools, a time that can make or break boys at a critical juncture in their lives.

Alternative licensure is a way to get people who are motivated to teach, especially math and science – people like my former manager – into the classroom, fast.  Because that’s where they’re needed.

The current system allows for flexibility. There are certain organizations such as “Teach for America” that already have programs in place in Minneapolis, St. Paul, and Brooklyn Center having been granted waivers by the Board of Teaching. That program could continue.

Which is great – and T4A has been a notably successful program in many ways.  But it focuses on putting new college grads into classrooms.  It can not supply people with years of real-world experience in their fields and a motivation to teach.  That’s what altertnative licensure is for.

And I’d suspect Senator Dahle knows that.

But why would Senator Dahle not mention the bill’s true purpose?  Why would he not note how ungermane it was to refer to the many laid-off teachers who don’t have science of math degrees?

Why do you suppose?

Elected to the Minnesota Senate in January 2008. I have taught Civics, Economics, Political Science, A.P. Government and Social Psychology for 26 years. Served as President of the Northfield Education Association (for 10 years), served on the Council of Local Presidents for Education Minnesota, member of the Northfield Arts Guild, Northfield Historical Society, member of the United Methodist Church, worked with Citizens for Quality Education, active in several campaigns at local, state, and national level.

No big surprise, is it?

We’ve been down this road before.

I first heard this during the Carter Administration.  I first heard it seriously during the Clinton years.  Jews, tired of the Democratic party’s one-sided approach to Israel, will eventually bolt from the Tics.  Someday.  Maybe.  Honest.

I’m starting to think American Jews are to Israel the way American Catholics are to pro-life politics; the theoretical tie frays when you get down to specifics; “progressive” politics beats out the purported big issue.

But Roger L. Simon thinks things may be, honestly, seriously, maybe changing, probably:

But I suspect something is brewing. [The Tics’] kind of excessive and weirdly paternalistic attitude to the state of Israel, directed so clearly from the top, seems to come out of a kind of unexamined personal animus. The long record that Obama has of friendship with virulent enemies of Israel has not gone unnoticed.

Whatever the etiology, group love affairs with political parties cannot help but be self-destructive. They may begin in a burst of mutual admiration but they will almost always devolve into a self-desturctive “taking for granted” that could only work to the benefit of one party (if that). The love affair between African-Americans and the Democratic Party has been similarly useless for blacks. In the forty years I have lived in Los Angeles, I haven’t noticed life getting significantly better in South Central, a region of the city in which Republicans are about as scarce as killer whales.

Right.  See also Detroit, DC, Philadelphia and Minneapolis.

This doesn’t mean I think Jews or blacks or anybody else should become Republicans. They should think for themselves and even change sides when it’s advantageous. For Jews, Obama’s behavior is indeed a “teaching moment.” The bizarre over-reaction to a minor incident in Israel should serve as a wake up call.

I say the odds are it’s all wishful thinking.  But who knows?

Jerry Brown orders a surge to counter insurgent activity in California:

Faced with the daunting prospect of being significantly outspent by his Republican opponent, Democratic gubernatorial candidate Jerry Brown spoke to a labor group Tuesday and urged them to go on the offensive.

“We’re going to attack whenever we can, but I’d rather have you attack,” Brown said at a gathering of the California delegation of the Laborers’ International Union of North America in Sacramento. “I’d rather be the nice guy in this race. We’ll leave [the attacks] to … the Democratic Party and others.”

You mean, like when George Soros pours a bunch of money into “independent” groups to help you?

I suspect Moonbeam will be fine.

Tucker Bounds, a spokesman for GOP candidate Meg Whitman, said Brown’s pitch was unseemly and perhaps even illegal.

“I think this is pretty clear evidence that Jerry Brown is actively seeking independent support to prop up his campaign from the unions attacking Meg Whitman,” Bounds said. “And more importantly, I think, it’s Jerry Brown in his own words laying out a very cynical campaign strategy that’s playing fast and loose with the campaign rules in California.”

But it’s comedy gold.

Via Polimal, the Teachers Union is going to sit on its hands until it figures out who the winning (DFL) horse is going to be:

Education Minnesota president Tom Dooher said today the statewide education union won’t endorse a candidate for governor before the party conventions. The union’s political action committee isn’t scheduled to meet until May. He said they have no plans to meet before then. The DFL convention is set for April 23-25 and the Republicans will gather April 29 to May 1.

Amazing how that timing worked out, isn’t it?

EdMinn is, of course, a kingmaker in Minnesota politics, not only for their delegate count, but because of their deep, deep pockets.  Expect lots of ads this fall from EdMinn and its related “non-profits” showing children being tossed from schools into the street if Emmer or Seifert are elected.

Why no endorsement? Dooher says Education Minnesota says the candidate pool is deep this year and they are going through a “very exhaustive process” to make sure they endorse a candidate that will be a strong partner in moving education forward in the state.

In plain English:  the DFL convention doesn’t matter, and EdMinn is keeping its powder dry for the only contest that matters – the DFL primary race, which is sure to be a donnybrook, with four of the thirteen DFL candidates pledging to ignore the endorsement.

Al Franken is at -6 on the “passion index”, according to Rasmussen via the Strib:

A new Rasmussen Reports telephone survey of likely voters in Minnesota finds that 50 percent of voters in the state approve of the job Senator Al Franken is doing, including 25 percent who strongly approve. That’s unchanged from surveys in November and January. On the other side of the ledger, 46 percent disapprove, 31 percent strongly.

The reason, of course, is yet more proof of Berg’s Seventh Law; while the Dems routinely tell the world that John Kline, Michele Bachmann and Erik Paulsen went to Washington to promote an “extremist” partisan agenda, Al Franken – “progressive” author and failed “Air America” host – actually did get elected after running a campaign based purely and expressly on being an obstreporous, Kos-friendly extremist.

Meanwhile, Rasmussen found that 67 percent approve of how Senator Amy Klobuchar is performing, with 42 percent who approve strongly. The overall approval rating is a nine-point increase from November. Just 30 percent disapprove of Klobuchar, including 15 percent who strongly disapprove.

A-Klo, on the other hand, realizes the great political truth; that once you’re a Senator, politics is mostly about not losing.  Playing it safe.  Not making the dumb mistakes. Barring the uncontrollable (like Norm Coleman running against a media shooting star in a bad year for Republicans – twice!), being an empty skirt is a recipe for a long career in Washington.

(SCENE:  At the Oceanaire – a tony seafood restaurant in Downtown Minneapolis.   Representative Paul Thissen, Senator Tom “Baby Got” Bakk and Speaker of the House Margaret Anderson-Kelliher are sitting at a table with five empty chairs.  Anderson-Kelliher, bored, drums her fingers on the table.  Thissen checks his watch, and Bakk rock nervously in their seats. )

(Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak enters the room)

THISSEN, BAKK and ANDERSON-KELLIHER, SIMULTANEOUSLY:  Hello, Mayor Rybak.

RYBAK:  Hey, Margaret!

(BAKK and THISSEN, deflated, go back to gnawing on toothpicks)

RYBAK:  Thanks for calling the meeting, Margaret.  What’s up?

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  I’d like to lay out some ground rules and strategy for the campaign.

(SEN. MARK DAYTON walks into restaurant).

RYBAK: That’s a great idea.  (Notices DAYTON).  Hey, Mark!

DAYTON:  Aaaaaaagh!   (DAYTON dives to floor, rapidly low-crawls to the table, furtively sits in chair).

THISSEN:  What’s the matter, Mark?

ANDERSON-KELLIHER – Shut up, er…

THISSEN: Paul…

ANDERSON-KELLIHER: …whatever.  (Turns to DAYTON)  What’s the matter, Mark?

DAYTON:  (Affixing a lobster bib) Er, nothing.  Why?

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Just curious.  (Looks at menu, as former Senator MATT ENTENZA, with wife LOIS QUAM, enter the restaurant.

BAKK: “Hey, Matt…”

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  I said SHUT UP!

BAKK: You told Paul to shut…

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Don’t care! (turns to ENTENZA) How are you today, Matt?

ENTENZA: I’m doing…

QUAM: (A little too effusive) He’s doing just fine, Margaret!  (ENTENZA abruptly stops).

ANDERSON-KELLIHER: Ah, excellent!

(A loud belch issues from outside the entrance.  Rep. TOM RUKAVINA walks in, pounding his chest.  He shakes out another mild belch).

THISSEN:  Hey, Tom…(Trails off as ANDERSON-KELLIHER stares him down; THISSEN looks bash fully at his menu).

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Excellent!  I believe that’s everyone…(counts noses)…except…

(Harps play in the hallway.  A little dry ice fog obscures the floor.  Sen. JOHN MARTY, hands clasped as if in prayer before him, moves across the floor as if floating, and lands like a hummingbird on the remaining chair.  A golden aura briefly suffuses the room, then vanishes).

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Hey, John.

MARTY:  May the blessing of my presence bring you peace.

ANDERSON-KELLIHER: Er, yeah.  I called you all here today because voters are having a hard time telling the difference between us.  For the good of the DFL race, it’d be best if we all come up with some sort of differentiation between us before the convention.

RYBAK:  Primary.

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Convention!

ENTENZA: Yeah, convention!.

QUAM:  Primary!

ENTENZA: Er, yeah.  Primary.

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Convention!

THISSEN:  Convention, just like Margaret says…

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  For the last time, shut the **** up! (ANDERSON-KELLIHER flings a salt-shaker at THISSEN, hitting him in the face.  He falls backward over his chair, and lies on the floor, motionless.  DAYTON dives for the ground).

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Like I said, convention.  So I’d like you all to think of things we can do to distinguish ourselves to the voters…

WAITRESS (Approaches with order pad in hand):  Hello, my name is Wendy, and I’ll be your…

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  For the last ****** time, shut the **** up…

RYBAK: Er, Margaret?  She’s the waitress…

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Oh.  Go ahead, then.

WAITRESS:  Er, OK.  Any drink orders before we order dinner?”

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Boilermaker.

RYBAK: Appletini, please.  Extra tini.

BAKK:  I’ll have whatever Margaret is having.

THISSEN:  (Groans incomprehensibly)

RUKAVINA: Grain Belt Premium!

ENTENZA:  I’ll take your house chablis…

QUAM:  He’ll take the house merlot, and so will I.

ENTENZA:  Er…yeah.

DAYTON:  A diet Pellegrini.

WAITRESS:  Sir, all Pelligrini is “Diet”.  It’s water…

DAYTON:  Two diet pellegrinis.

MARTY:  I shall have a glass of water.  But please bring it in gaseous form.

WAITRESS: Er…wait – you want a cup of steam?

MARTY:  As it is said, so shall it be poured.

WAITRESS:  Er, OK.  And would you all like to start a tab?

(All at table break up into uproarious laughter)

RUKAVINA:  Baby, you ain’t seen nothing.

(WAITRESS LEAVES)

ANDERSON-KELLIHER: OK.  I’d like everyone to say, for the record, what makes you different.  Paul?

THISSEN:  (Groans, puts hand on forehead).

ANDERSON-KELLIHER: OK.  Matt?

ENTENZA:  (Looks at QUAM)

QUAM:  He will raise taxes for a better Minnesota.

(ENTENZA nods enthusiastically).

RYBAK:  Well, I’ll raise taxes for a better Minnsesota, too.

BAKK:   Well, I won’t…

ANDERSON-KELLIHER: Yes, you will.

BAKK:  Yes, I will.

DAYTON:  I will raise taxes.  For a better Minnesota.  (Eyes door furtively).  I will.  I will.  I will.

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  OK.  Not getting what I want here…

RUKAVINA:  I’ll raise taxes more for a better Minnesota!

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Better…

WAITRESS (Carrying tray of drinks):  OK, that’s two house Merlots,  a Grain Belt Premium, two Boilermakers, an Appletini, two “diet Pellegrinis” a cup of steam, and (looks at THISSEN) some smelling salts.

THISSEN:  (grunts painfullly)

WAITRESS:  That’ll be $77.

ANDERSON-KELLIHER: No.

WAITRESS:  Er, maam?  I brought the drinks.  You need to pay up.

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Shut up.

WAITRESS:  Maam?  This isn’t funny.  You wanna leave me on the look for almost $80 worth of drinks?

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  Shut up!

RUKAVINA:  Yeah.  Shut up!

WAITRESS:  I’m gonna call the police.

ANDERSON-KELLIHER:  (Stands at table)  Attention, everyone in the restaurant.  Please pay our drink tab!  It is for a better Minnesota!

(RUKAVINA, BAKK, RYBAK, QUAM, and ENTENZA applaud; DAYTON balances spoon on his finger; THISSEN groans)

MARTY:  As it is written, so shall it be done.  (MARTY disappears in a blinding flash of pure light).

And…scene.

Remember 2008, 2006, and 1996?  When conservatives, disaffected by the GOP and the people who’d represented it in Washington, stayed home in droves?

Sorry, Dems; it swings both ways:

Is President Obama losing his base?

Liberal and progressive organizations that helped propel him to the White House are turning on him now, little more than a year after he took office. Their collective discontent, on issues from health care to nuclear energy to the handling of terrorism suspects, could mean bad news for Democrats during this fall’s congressional elections.

One wonders if anyone’s regretting rejecting Hillary?

Polls show that liberals and blacks still approve of the job Obama’s doing. That approval, however, doesn’t necessarily mean they will make the effort to vote, and many of the activists and groups that worked to get people to the polls in 2008 say they’re not inclined right now to help Democrats in the fall.

Now, I”m not going to get too excited about the polls; the base will most likely rally around their guy, at least partially.

But if the base ain’t buying it – and not turning out 100% – what will the undecideds and “independents” do?

Over at Minnesota “Progressive” Project, a writer named “MNBearBud” plaintively asks “Can Minnesota Elect a Bold Progressive Governor in 2010?”

It’s a mash note for

As I have been helping out at a couple different DFL Conventions in the past couple weeks I have been hearing something that kind of disturbs me. The following quote is a paraphrase of several like it that I have heard.  “Minnesota is not ready for a bold progressive Governor, we need a nice slow moderate progressive.”  

I find this remark to be quite interesting given the present state of affairs with Gov. Tim Pawlenty running what used to be a great Minnesota right into the ground.

[So far “into the ground” that our unemployment rate is better than most of the nation in the midst of the Great Depression “Recession”.  But I digress – Ed.]

Our State Legislator can pass progressive bills, but they get stopped in their tracks by the Governor’s office. This is exactly what happened with GAMC. Yet, as much as people want progressive change, there are those who think that a bold progressive guy like John Marty just cannot be elected Governor. I am going to the State Convention as an alternate delegate for John Marty and I stand by that decision.  

The plea is something I hear from a lot of “progressives”; “why can’t we have another Elmer Anderson or Floyd Olson, and have him now?”

Well, the answer is simple.  No, Minnesota will not have a bold “progressive” governor this go-around.

Here’s why:

• The term is wrong.  “Progressivism” isn’t progress; it’s statism.  It’s glopping the deadening morass of government onto the life of our state.  I know – I’m nitpicking terminology.  I’m doing it for a good reason.  “Progressivism” as practiced by the MNDFL isn’t progress; it’s back to the thirties.
• But language-nerd nit-picking aside, sure – it’s possible a “progressive” might get elected.  The conventional wisdom tells us that a conservative just can not win the governor’s race in Minnesota this year.  Just like the conventional wisdom said that Skip Humphrey and Roger Moe would win the governor’s race, that Erik Paulsen ran too far to the right to win the Third, and that Michele Bachmann’s goose was cooked in 2008.  So it’s possible that a “progressive” might win the gubernatorial race. 
• But if he or she does, he or she will not be “bold”.  He or she will be fighting hard to float an agenda, because the MNGOP is going to either take back a chamber this year, or come very close.  The progressive will likely be a fairly timid one, by necessity.
• And while I said above that it’s “possible” the DFL could win this year, that’s just prudency beating optimism.  The GOP, even in this most miasmically-blue state, has a tailwind this year.  Obama is chasing the independents away from the left, although Twin Cities liberals, stricken with Pauline Kael syndrome, might not see it in their daily lives.   The DFL field – Marty, R.T. Rybak, Mark Dayton, Tom Rukavina, Margaret Anderson-Keliher, Paul Thissen, and Matt Entenza – are the people behind our serial multi-billion-dollar deficits, borne of the DFL’s extended orgy of irresponsible spending.  Their answer – heap more taxes on the peasants to keep the lords in Saint Paul fat and happy – is flying with fewer and fewer Minnesotans.  And both GOP candidates are not only well-placed to ride that wave, but one of them will be on the ground, running at the head of a newly-energized MNGOP and tens of thousands of newly-minted tax hawks in the Tea Party movement, during the first week of May, while the Minnesota  “Nude Thugs In The Shower” party will face three months of duking it out until the primary (because the DFL party endorsement, other than in great Democrat years like ’06 and ’08, is a traditional kiss of death).   Will it be enough to put “the Conventional Wisdom” to the pike yet again?  We’ll see.
• And just look at the Nude Thug lineup:  Marty? Rybak? Dayton?  Rukavina?  Anderson-Kelliher?  Thissen? Tom “Baby Got” Bakk?  Entenza?  I’m sure there’s a genetic engineering project out there that might be working on building a less-interesting, less-inspirational person than any of these, but scientists say results are years away. And the DFL is melting down almost as fast as the national Tic party is; four years of being unable to overcome the leadership of a lone governor has made them ornery and peevish.  And ornery and peevish don’t win elections.  But the DFL message, no matter which DFLer burbles to the top, is going to be “I’ll spend more, I’ll raise taxes more, and I hated Governor Pawlenty more still!”  I don’t think that’s going to be a winner this year.

Remember when Obama was going to “restore” America’s respect around th world?”

Either do most Americans:

The Democracy Corps-Third Way survey released Monday finds that by a 10-point margin — 51 percent to 41 percent — Americans think the standing of the U.S. dropped during the first 13 months of Mr. Obama’s presidency.

Democracy Corps and Third Way lean just a tad to the left, which makes this next bit absolutley hilarious:

“This is surprising, given the global acclaim and Nobel peace prize that flowed to the new president after he took office,” said pollsters for the liberal-leaning organizations.

It was surprising – the the same way it shocked us that Milli Vanilli wasn’t all that talented.

But the numbers apparently were bad enough that even DN/3W couldn’t whitewash ’em:

On the national security front, a massive gap has emerged, with 50 percent of likely voters saying Republicans would likely do a better job than Democrats, a 14-point swing since May. Thirty-three percent favored Democrats.

“The erosion since May is especially strong among women, and among independents, who now favor Republicans on this question by a 56 to 20 percent margin,” the pollsters said in their findings.

A dedicated lefty might respond “yeah, but that’s just polling Americans”.  True – which is something the poll has in common with Presidential elections.

More importantly, though?  The whole “America lost respect during the Bush years” meme also pretty much polled only Americans.  Most foreigners who answer public opinion polls hate America, while a significant subset simultaneously hope to immigrate…

…may get their marginal yuks referring to Republicans as “wingnuts” or “the stupid party”, we will always have the “Naked Thugs In Showers Party“.

Thank you, Rahm “It Home” Emanuel.

Michael Moore is pledging to whip Obama and Democrats in Congress into shape – liberal shape – if he is named the next White House chief of staff. And Moore vows to sleep in the White House basement and work for $1 per year if the president hires him.

“Now, don’t get too giddy with excitement over my offer, because you and I are going to be up at 5 in the morning, 7 days a week and I am going to get you pumped up for battle every single day,” Moore writes in a letter posted on his Web site that he said was sent to Obama. “Each morning you and I will do 100 jumping jacks and you will repeat after me: “THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ELECTED ME, NOT THE REPUBLICANS, TO RUN THE COUNTRY! I AM IN CHARGE! I WILL ORDER ALL OBSTRUCTIONISTS OUTTA MY WAY! IF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON’T LIKE WHAT I’M DOING THEY CAN THROW MY ASS OUT IN 2012. IN THE MEANTIME, I CALL THE SHOTS ON THEIR BEHALF! NOW, CONGRESS, DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!”

Okay, put aside for a moment the unrestrained use of all-caps…and the call for a dictatorship…before Michael Moore orders congress to do 100 jumping jacks and 50 push ups, I’d like to see Michael Moore do…just one…of either.

Just one.

One floppy man-boobs jumping jack.

“With or without Michael Moore, Democrats are in for a rude awakening in November”

…but with Michael Moore they’d be in for a rude awakening when they find two years’ worth of chicken wing bones and empty Snack Pack Pudding cups in the basement of the White House.

Allahpundit at Hot Air on the administration’s push on amnesty for illegals, quoting his former boss Michelle Malkin, notes that while these things pop up from time to time…

…maybe this time is different.

Obama took up the issue privately with his staff Monday in a bid to advance a bill through Congress before lawmakers become too distracted by approaching midterm elections…

If anyone can deliver immigration reform to America, it’s an “assertive” president with a 45 percent approval rating who’s lost three big state elections in a row.

But this isn’t about giving green cards to illegals:

The wild card is the GOP. Obama obviously wants to use this as wedge issue, to try to cut the Dems’ losses in November by reminding Latino voters that Republicans are “nativists” or whatever.

It’s an attempt at a wedge and a distraction; Obama believes he can count on a thick film of GOP sovereignty activists to put a crack in the party’s opposition, and get the Tea Party – whose members are largely anti-illegal-immigration, but it’s not the Parties’ focus by any means – to divert its attention.

So will Obama’s fragile, panicky cohort of Blue Dogs stay the curse?

Course, I mean.  Will they stay the course?

Minnesota, following the national trend by its usual 10-20 years, passed a moratorium on nuclear power plants in the state a decade and a half ago.

With energy prices having zoomed upward in the past few years, and likely set to do it again if the economy ever recovers, a good chunk of the USA – especially the part where it gets cold, and electrical and natural gas heating costs have gotten out of control – started demanding our zombie overlords look again at nuclear power; given advances in the technology that address the very, very few safety concerns that ever existed about non-Soviet nuke plants, the time seems right for a fresh look.

The DFL wants to make sure we don’t:

Last year, the state Senate passed a bill that lifted the state’s moratorium on nuclear power plant construction.

The fate of the same proposal this year is now bogged down in a Senate committee.

The Senate Energy committee this afternoon approved a controversial amendment 9-6 that lead the bill’s author to ask to halt the discussion.

The amendment displays either the DFL’s ‘ignorance about business, or its hostility toward business and efficient energy:

The chief sponsor, Sen. Amy Koch, R-Buffalo, said the amendment, which was offered by Sen. John Doll, DFL-Bloomington, “guts” her bill. The bill as amended now bars utilities from charging ratepayers for construction costs before a plant is completed. Doll’s amendment also requires a federal nuclear waste repository be created to store spent nuclear fuel rods.

Has anyone looked into how much money John Doll gets from wind, solar and biomass interests?

Sen. Ray Vandeveer, R-Forest Lake, said the new requirements in the bill would prevent energy companies from building nuclear power plants in Minnesota.

“The Doll amendment puts us in the dark ages and it keeps us there and condemns us there,” Vandeveer said.

Lifting the nuke moratorium might be bad business – for the DFL.  It’d gut the “renewable energy” market, and make fewer people dependent on the state energy-welfare bureaucracy.

The rest of us, on the other hand?

From coast to coast – and, very possibly, in the halls of the Supreme Court – the human right of self-defense is pushing the orcs back into their rancid caves.

Which doesn’t stop them from trying to gnaw away at your human rights – to say nothing of your pocketbooks – like sweaty little rats.

In a year when the Legislature has to try to deal with a 5.8 billion dollar deficit of their own making, Rep. Michael Paymer (Orc, Saint Paul) thinks gun control is the kind of thing the Legislature should be wasting its time on:

From Virginia to Arizona, federal and state gun laws are loosening everywhere from national parks to Amtrak trains.

But in St. Paul, a proposal that would send Minnesota in the opposite direction is headed toward its first hearing Friday — a bill requiring background checks on the purchaser of any firearm sold at a gun show.

The proposal pits its DFL sponsor, St. Paul Rep. Michael Paymar, against the mighty arsenal of gun rights advocates and lobbyists who have managed to turn back nearly every effort to tighten Minnesota’s gun laws in the past.

The article – by the often-excellent Mike Kaszuba – is correct, but only if you cut history off at about 1996.  Up until 1974, for example, Minnesota required no permit, training, certificate, background check or anything else for a law-abiding citizen to carry a concealed handgun.  Starting in that year – a nadir in many, many ways for the state of Minnesota as well as the nation – the gun control movement started picking up steam in Minnesota, peaking in the mid-late eighties.  The usurping of our law-abiding citizen’s human right of self-defense didn’t really start to ebb until groups like the Gun Owners Civil Rights Alliance and Concealed Carry Reform Now started their organizing efforts – to this day, one of the greatest victories of grass-roots politics in Minnesota history.

How fuzzy-headed is Paymar’s timing?  Even Kaczuba points it out:

In a session dominated by pressing financial issues, it’s unclear how much time and energy lawmakers have for an explosive gun control debate. The GOP already is saying no way. But just the attempt is arousing serious passions as all sides take aim at Friday’s hearing.

Paymar knows when to toss out a boogeyman:

“I’m not backing down,” said Paymar, a veteran lawmaker who chairs the House public safety finance division. “I think there’s an undue fear of the [National Rifle Association] here at the Legislature.”

Of course, the NRA has been a relative bit player (albeit important) in the gun control debate in Minnesota.  GCRA and CCRN-MN have done the heavy lifting, and still have a pretty powerful mailing list; the last time the DFL tried to gnaw away at the law-abiding citizens’ human rights (the late ’90s and early ’00’s votes against Shall-Issue), outstate DFLers got spanked, many of them being tossed from office in defeats largely attributable to the state groups’ organizing.

I’m wondering what some of the outstate DFLers are thinking right now; harried by the Tea Party and their party’s association with the tax-guzzling spending-whores of the metro DFL delegation, they’ve gotta be thinking “thanks for nothing, Paymar; you’ve painted a metaphorical, rhetorical, electoral target on my butt”.

How fuzzy-headed is the timing of Paymar’s bill?  Even Kaszuba points it out (emphasis added):

Whatever the outcome, the nation’s pro and anti-gun lobbies are using Paymar’s proposal to make their points. Gun rights groups say the law makes no sense at a time when gun registrations have gone up in Minnesota, yet crime has gone down.

Serious crime decreased in Minnesota during four of the past five years, while permits by individuals to carry weapons in the state have risen by more than 6,000 in the past seven years.

Kaszuba is correct in spirit, but he’s got the numbers wrong; as of today, 71,182 Minnesotans have carry permits (and hundreds more every month) obtained since 2003.

I’ll be watching this.

(Via AAA)