What If Doctor Seuss were on Match.com?

An exchange:

I am Guy
I am Guy
Guy I am

I seek a date!
I seek a mate!
I do not like
to have to wait!

Do you like
fun and romance
?”

I will not wait,
potential mate.
I do not like
to have to wait.

Would you please
send me a pic
?”

I will not send
to you a pic.
Take my word,
I’m not an ick.
I do not like this
“sending pics”.
I’d rather poke my eyes
with sticks.

Do you like to eat
Tex Mex?
And would you rather
wait for sex?”

I do not like to eat
Tex Mex,
I could not, would not
wait for sex.
(I would like sex
WITH tex mex…).
But really do not
want to wait.
I really really love romance.
I do not like to wear my pants.

What kind of food
do you like to eat?
And where on earth
would you like to meet
?”

Not in a car.
Not in a bar.
Not on a boat.
Not in a moat.
I would not meet for barbecue.
I would not meet your Uncle Hugh.
I would meet if you wore lace.
Why not over at MY place?

Would you, could you,
just slow down
?”

Meet me! Meet me,
somewhere downtown!

I won’t like you.
You won’t like me!
I will not like you
you will see
!”

You would not, could not meet me now?
Not any time! not anyhow?

I do not like you in a box.
I do not like you pounding rocks.
I do not like you on your Harley.
Not Metallica, not 
Bob Marley.
I do not like you here or there.
I do not like you anywhere.
I do not like your house or car.
I do not like you, Guy-you-are!”

A date! A date!
A date! A date!
Could you, would you,
obey fate?

It’s not a date! It is not fate!
Neither early, Guy, nor late
!”

I would not, could not, leave you be.
I could not, would not, set you free.
I won’t forget your pic on Match.
I won’t forget you – I’m quite a catch!
I will not eat crow here or there.
I will not eat crow anywhere.
I do not take rejection well,
I won’t forget you, Girl-From-Hell!

Say!
In the dark?
I feel a spark!
Would you meet me at the park?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.
I can not, do not
feel a spark.
Not in the dark. Not at the mall.
Guy, I won’t meet you at all.
I do not like you, Guy, you see.
No booty call. No chemistry.
Not at the mall.  Not once at all.
I will not, shall not, on the border.
I will get a restraining order
!

Thank you.

Maybe She Should Meet Chuck Norris

I love this story:

She was Miss America 1944 and later a candidate for Cincinnati City Council and worked to save Over-the-Rhine’s historic buildings. She performed on Broadway and in movies.

Now, though, she’s in the news for another reason.

After confronting a man she said was stealing from her Kentucky farm, Ramey pulled out a gun and shot out a tire on his truck so he couldn’t leave, allowing police to arrest him and two others.

“He was probably wetting his pants,” Ramey said Thursday from her home in Waynesburg, about 140 miles south of Cincinnati.

I hope I’m going medieval on burglars when I’m 82…

Things I Wish I’d Said, In The Loop Edition

One of Jeff Horwich’s questions last night was one that I should have been ready for – but wasn’t. 

It was (and I’m paraphrasing fairly closely here) Why aren’t conservatives out there protesting

I responded with a quip about people having day jobs and mortages and kids to take care of – to which Erica responded “But I have a day job too…”

Of course, my response was all wrong.  And while I pride myself on usually getting those “woulda coulda shoulda” responses out there in time most of the time, I kinda woofed that one.

So if you happen to listen to the broadcast on MPR tonight, please fill in the following answer for that question.

“Jeff, I think the difference is that conservatism isn’t fundamentally about emotions, or their expression. 

Liberalism – or the left, anyway – is really a co-option (good or cynical, or a little of both, really) of a lot of things most of us are taught as kids; share with people, be nice, don’t fight, you’ll shoot your eye out with that gun.  That kind of thing.  Now, it adds some grownup things, like a legal imperative and, in extreme cases, a certain pseudo-religious ardor – but at the end of the day liberalism is  just an institutionalized version of things we all learned in kindergarten.

Conservatism is not about emotions, usually; it’s something that doesn’t come easily to a lot of people, since it’s something you have to think hard about, and in some ways on the surface it seems to fly in the face of things we’re brought up to believe.  You share, or be nice, or quit fighting, not because mommy or the government tell you to, but because it’s the right thing to do.  And you realize that there’s complexity to all these things; sharing in the form of charity is good, while welfare has and causes serious problems.  Fighting is bad, but sometimes it’s necessary to defend yourself, your family, and your country.  That kind of thing.

So if you consider that becoming a real conservative is largely a solitary, intellectual journey rather than an emotional wave one gets swept up in, it makes a lot more sense that we’re not out there waving signs and threatening to, say, bum-rush Erica’s convention, to pick a random example.

Maybe next time…

UPDATE:  Troy, in the comment section, had a good point.  Changed accordingly.

All of you voicing over my radio appearance; Take Two!

In The Belly Of A Very Hospitable Beast

I spent a couple of hours last night at Minnesota Public Radio’s UBS Auditorium, the huge top of the MPR’s Taj MaKling, their immense downtown Saint Paul headquarters.

I was a guest on “In The Loop“, a newish MPR public affairs program hosted by Jeff Horwich. Word had gotten to Horwich that I was a conservative who was interested in the whole topic of the planned protests at next year’s GOP National Convention.

More on that later.

As I’ve written in the past, once you get past the whole “public” nature of Public Radio – the fact that taxes go to support what is in essence a medium catering to a specific socio-political niche – there is actually some excellent stuff out there. And “In The Loop” is certainly an interesting experiment. I’ll give the Loop crew this; file away your “Delicious Dish”/Terry Gross “Good Times/Good Times” stereotypes. It’s a fun, fast-paced, eclectic show, recorded live in front of a studio audience (and edited for time and to cut out flubs – it is public radio, after all). Horwich, a talented, personable guy (at from my first impression, as a guest) is a good interviewer. And he seems to have done a good job, tonight at least, of seeking some sort of balance in stacking the show. The show takes an hour (more like 90 minutes before editing) and talks about an issue – in this case, activism from the very personal to the very public (which was where I came in).
Again – more on that later.

———-

After almost thirty years, off and on (mostly off) of working in radio stations that were tucked above drug stores and into transmitter sheds, MPR is something else; big, clean, Scandinavian, expansive, an equipment geek’s dream. The UBS Auditorium feels like a lecture hall at a well-endowed university, with theatrical lighting, badonkadonk acoustics, and a gorgeous north (?) facing view of downtown Saint Paul.

———-

The culture shock continued when I saw the way the show ran.  Where  commercial talk show involves a host or two, a board operator, and maybe a call screener (and on major-league talk shows like Limbaugh they might add a person or two to do on-the-fly research), a National/Minnesota Public Radio show involves a crew that, to my commercial-radio tastes, looks more like the crew for a good-sized TV production.

The show included the host, at least four producers (one of whom acted as a combination stage manager and technical director, calling instructions to the booth staff into a wireless mic as he maneuvered about the floor), at least three engineers that I could see (two or in the large booth at the back of the room running the recording, the lights and the Powerpoint slides that ran behind the interstitial recorded bits, plus one running the house sound from a big mixer back to the audience’s left).  The show’s closing credits ran on a long time, listing close to a dozen people.  Plus the band.

To produce a one-hour, monthly show. 

Not criticizing.  Just saying – to my frugal, commercial-radio-raised tastes, it was like being in a foreign country.

———-

The first guest was songwriter Larry Long, a local folkie in the Pete Seeger mold – musically and politically – who played a couple of songs. A local “storyteller” read a couple of poems. “The Smarts”, a three-guy jazz combo, provided some occasional hilarious bumper music (a jazzy version of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” after…well, we’ll get to that).

There were some recorded segments of interviews with people discovering activism and protest in various ways.

And then it was my turn.

———-

I was on a panel with a cute-as-a-bug twentysomething named Erica, from some anti-war organization (the name sounded similar enough to every other anti-war group out there that I involuntarily started replaying the “People’s Front of Judea” sketch in my head).

Her line; she and her fellow protesters want to show the “ruling class” in this county – the one coming to the GOP convention – what anger was all about. They want to block freeways, raise havoc – in her words, they want to break up the convention, in as many words.

Y’know – to teach Republicans a lesson about democracy. The message seemed to be “My ends justify my means!”, delivered in a perky chirp with just a tinge of Valleygirl.

I tried to respond. Horwich split the time – under ten minutes – pretty evenly. Which, being as used to co-hosting a two hours show as I am, was very, very difficult!

I was nearly a loss as to how to respond. The ruling class? Does my boss know this? At any rate, it was hard to find a way to engage her; she seemed to believe her feelings about the President trumped everyone else’s right to participate in a democracy – a point I tried to make several times. Between the fact that Horwich kept the interview zipping along (it’s a live show, after all) and the fact that, like most anti-war protesters, “Erica” would zip away from topics when cornered like a greased rhetorical pig made me pine for my nice, long-form talk-radio interview format.

Still, check it out; it’ll be on at 9PM tonight, and 6PM Sunday on your area MPR affiliate or online.

While Erika slipped away without a word to me, Larry Long and the whole MPR crew were exceptionally gracious; any thoughts of being trapped in the belly of a left-of-center beast were…well, not untrue, but whether you chalk it up to good manners, love of a good debate, or professional polish, everyone I met – Horwich, his producers, the show staff, and the other MPR staff present – was way beyond civil, and downright friendly.

Leaving philosophical problems with taxpayer-funded media aside (let’s face it, MPR could most likely support itself), In the Loop is an interesting experiment – think of it as a live This Minnesota Life with an audience.  At any rate, it’s well worth a listen.

What’s Fair For The War Hero is Fair For The Weasel

A couple of weeks ago, while “reporting” on John Kline’s town meeting – in which the congressman spent two hours answering unscreened questions from an audience that was not in any way vetted for friendliness – Jeff Fecke, “reporter” for the Minnesota Monitor (a “progressive” group blog funded by a group of deep-pocketed Washington liberals), editorialized…:

The Kline camp went into this meeting terrified of…something.  I’m not sure what. 

That’s right; after a career that’s taken him to USMC Officer Candidate School, flying choppers in Vietnam, a stint carrying the nuclear “football”, and beating an entrenched incumbent on his own turf, Ace Reporter Jeff Fecke thought Rep. John Kline (Colonel, USMC, Retired) was “terrified” of questions from a bunch of doughy, patchouli-reeking BDS victims.

So what did MinnMon have to say about this sign of abject terror – Mike Ciresi’s four-minute bump-and-flee with reporters as he announced his candidacy?

Two hours versus four minutes.  What’s he afraid of?????

Oh – they said nothing. Doyyy.

For more on Minnesota Monitor’s “journalistic ethics”, check out Foot’s evisceration piece here.

A River Ran Through It

Hard to believe it’s been ten years since the Grand Forks flood.

To give credit where it’s due, Nick Coleman writes an excellent column on the subject:

The apocalypse came with ice and fire. I was among the many journalists who covered the disaster and I will never forget the sensation of standing in freezing water in hip boots while ashes fell on my head from the sky. All we needed was Charlton Heston to send Egyptian chariots into the water and I would’ve sworn we were all extras in a remake of “The Ten Commandments.”

Ten years later, it still seems like something biblical happened.

Read the whole thing, and check out the Grand Forks Herald’s coverage of the anniversary.

Building The Safer Criminal

Identify the quote:

“Laws that forbid the carrying of arms . . . disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes . . . Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.”

Was it Charleton Heston, Ted Nugent, or Me?

Trick question, naturally. It was Thomas Jefferson. And he was as right 200 years ago as he is today.

The Second Amendment movement has made massive strides in the 25 years I’ve been involved; in 1983, eight states had shall-issue laws; today it’s 40 (and Vermont and Alaska require no permit at all to carry a concealed firearm). Gun control has become a third rail for Democrats; even they fear the NRA, with good (and justifiable) reason.

Of course, the controllers have gotten their due in states where they are still powerful, including Minnesota. Even in states with good, solid Shall Issue laws, they’ve managed to get “wins” like “gun-free school zones” and those dumb signs that you see (less and less frequently) around Minnesota barring guns from stores.

David Kopel writes today in the Wall Street Journal about the (lack of) value in these niggling controls:

In February of this year a young man walked past the sign prohibiting him from carrying a gun on the premises [in Salt Lake City] and began shooting people who moments earlier were leisurely shopping at Trolley Square. He killed five.

It might have been worse. But Utah has a shall-issue law (hence the sign):

Fortunately, someone else — off-duty Ogden, Utah, police officer Kenneth Hammond — also did not comply with the mall’s rules. After hearing “popping” sounds, Mr. Hammond investigated and immediately opened fire on the gunman. With his aggressive response, Mr. Hammond prevented other innocent bystanders from getting hurt. He bought time for the local police to respond, while stopping the gunman from hunting down other victims.

The value of the armed citizen in self-defense is shown daily (everywhere but the mainstream media, naturally), in incidents big (the Salt Lake City incident, the Pearl Mississippi and Appalachian College of Law shootings and many others) and small (estimates of firearms self-defense incidents ranging from the CDC’s half million a year up to Gary Kleck’s estimate of up to two million annual uses, most of which involve no shots being fired).

But let’s take a step back in time. Last year the Virginia legislature defeated a bill that would have ended the “gun-free zones” in Virginia’s public universities. At the time, a Virginia Tech associate vice president praised the General Assembly’s action “because this will help parents, students, faculty and visitors feel safe on our campus.” In an August 2006 editorial for the Roanoke Times, he declared: “Guns don’t belong in classrooms. They never will. Virginia Tech has a very sound policy preventing same.”

Actually, Virginia Tech’s policy only made the killer safer, for it was only the law-abiding victims, and not the criminal, who were prevented from having guns. Virginia Tech’s policy bans all guns on campus (except for police and the university’s own security guards); even faculty members are prohibited from keeping guns in their cars.

Virginia Tech thus went out of its way to prevent what happened at a Pearl, Miss., high school in 1997, where assistant principal Joel Myrick retrieved a handgun from his car and apprehended a school shooter. Or what happened at Appalachian Law School, in Grundy, Va., in 2002, when a mass murder was stopped by two students with law-enforcement experience, one of whom retrieved his own gun from his vehicle. Or in Edinboro, Pa., a few days after the Pearl event, when a school attack ended after a nearby merchant used a shotgun to force the attacker to desist. Law-abiding citizens routinely defend themselves with firearms.

In most of America – blue and red – the average schmuck in the street sees a gun as a tool with a specialized purpose; defending oneself (from criminals, deer and geese).

Gun control in America, for the past forty years, has been based on the elitist notion that a law-abiding common citizen somehow turns into blood-lusting cartoon the moment he gets a gun in his/her hands; it’s instructive to notice how many of those gun-ban-supporting elites, like Pinch Sulzberger and Diane Feinstein, consider themselves above that standard.

And yet, over and over again, Americans show they know better:

In Utah, there is no “gun-free schools” exception to the licensed carry law. In K-12 schools and in universities, teachers and other adults can and do legally carry concealed guns. In Utah, there has never been a Columbine-style attack on a school. Nor has there been any of the incidents predicted by self-defense opponents — such as a teacher drawing a gun on a disrespectful student, or a student stealing a teacher’s gun.

Israel uses armed teachers as part of a successful program to deter terrorist attacks on schools. Buddhist teachers in southern Thailand are following the Israeli example, because of Islamist terrorism…In many states, “gun-free schools” legislation was enacted hastily in the late 1980s or early 1990s due to concerns about juvenile crime. Aimed at juvenile gangsters, the poorly written and overbroad statutes had the disastrous consequence of rendering teachers unable to protect their students.

Reasonable advocates of gun control can still press for a wide variety of items on their agenda, while helping to reform the “gun-free zones” that have become attractive havens for mass killers. If legislators or administrators want to require extensive additional training for armed faculty and other adults, that’s fine. Better that some victims be armed than none at all.

As a commenter noted, best to let numbers rather than anecdotes drive policy.

Very well; the numbers all show that armed, law-abiding citizens do at least no harm, and at best help prevent tragedies like Tuesday’s carnage.

Where’s the argument?

…Only Criminals Will Have Guns

As people start to sort out the Virginia Tech tragedy, one question that half the population will ask is “how is it possible Cho Seung-Hui was able to get a gun?”

The answer:  Illegally.

Check out question 12f in the form you have to fill out to buy a handgun.

Cho lied on the form.

Law enforcement can find out in an instant if you shoplifted a candy bar halfway across the country when you were 18 – and if you have a criminal record, it’ll go into the national database that’ll flag your attempt to buy a gun – but if you’re batsh*t crazy, the cops are on their own.

Civil Society, Conventional Wisdom – Part II

The GOP is bringing their national convention to Saint Paul next year.

The local, regional and (I have to presume) national left is planning on being here in force.

It’s going to be an interesting 18 months.

Let’s pick up where we left off last Thursday.

———-

A couple of bits of housekeeping, first.

I’m schedule to appear on Minnesota Public Radio’s “In The Loop“.  It’ll be recorded Thursday night at the Taj MaKling in downtown Saint Paul, and broadcast  Friday, at 9 p.m. and Sunday at 6 p.m.

The subject?  Protest!

———-

As a couple of commenters obliquely pointed out last week, the temptation to rhetorically overstep is almost overwhelming.

As I noted, the Saint Paul City Council has officially welcomed protesters. I gave significance to the fact that they haven’t mentioned anything about protesters who come to town with an aim toward disruption – and a commenter correctly noted that in fact legislators’ resolutions should be presumed to refer to activities that are within the laws that they make and that their government is charged with enforcing.

True, and a good point.

Another commenter said something to the effect of “he’s just setting up a strawman”.  That’s not true in and of itself – I’m not trying to negate either the legitimate, law-abiding protesters’ points or right to speak with the activities of their less-legitimate pals. 

Merely pointing out something the mainstream media in this town, I suspect, will bend over backwards to avoid reporting; while the fringe left is complaining about nonexistent plans to stifle their free speech, some of them would seem to be intent on no good.

———-

Lassie at Freedom Dogs – who has, herself, immense experience dealing with the left’s professional protest clacque – writes in quoting the RNC Welcoming Committee (RNC-WC) website:

Looks like they hope to maintain a looser structure so as to escape notice by the authoritarians, and are confident that their numbers are strong.

…we hope that the RNC-WC will maintain a unified, anti-authoritarian presence at the 2008 RNC. Our numbers are huge, and it’s time that our actions reflected that.

Well anarkiddies, our numbers are also strong, and we look forward to welcoming you next fall. Keep daddy’s number on speed dial — that unfortunate authority figure is the one you’ll be crying to for bail. This is going to be fun to watch.

It’s a “MySpace” site.  Big whoop? 

Maybe, maybe not.  You be the judge.  Here’s the “Welcoming Committee’s” agenda:

Those who work with the RNC Welcoming Committee must agree to:

1. A rejection of Capitalism, Imperialism, and the State; [Whatever]

2. Resist the commodification of our shared and living Earth; [Kumbaya]

3. Organize on the principles of decentralization, autonomy, sustainability, and mutual aid.  [Kind of like a bunch of terrorist cells.  OK, that was a low blow.]

4. Work to end all relationships of domination and subjugation, including but not limited to those rooted in patriarchy, race, class, and homophobia; [Unless they’re Israelis, but again, whatever]

5. Oppose the police and prison-industrial complex, and maintain solidarity with all targets of state repression; 

6. Directly confront systems of oppression, and respect the need for a diversity of tactics. [Hm.  “Diverse” tactics?  Let’s come back to that later.]

Though the RNC-WC is focused on a specific event, we hope that our work transcends the convention by contributing to the development of anti-authoritarian movements and mutual aid networks both locally and globally. We are no more opposed to the Republican Party than we are to the Democratic Party. Affiliations and labels aside, we invite all who share our vision to join us in resistance.

So they wanna protest.

Cool.  See y’all on the street. I’ll be interested in checking out those “diverse” tactics.

Waving signs and walking around dressed in papier-mache puppets?  Go for it.

Threats, violence and intimidation?

———- 

Jeff Kouba – he of stronger stomach than I – apparently reads the MN Daily.

And a few weeks ago he found this little nugget; a U of M twinkie is having violent little delusions of grandeur.  And if you believe him, he’s not alone.

Oh, not

Maybe it was all the wine my buddy salvaged from some trash containers after a high-class tasting party, and then served up at his own festive blow-out gathering of assorted radicals on Friday night, but I’m really starting to have hope.

Yes, I’m starting to believe certain vague, visionary plans to throw our Republican friends a street party in St. Paul in 2008 are really, truly going to happen.

Look away, you fun-loving Republicans, we’re planning a big surprise party for little ol’ you during your special convention in 2008.

Aw!  You shouldn’t have!  I love surprise parties! 

Hopefully, it will be more fun than the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago.

Oh, but now my mellow is harshed.  I don’t like violence!

And to be perfectly clear, either does the “writer” of the MNDaily op-ed, John Hoff – as long has he’s potentially on the wrong end of it, as in this editorial, where he frets about the crummy neighborhood around his stop on the Ventura trolley.  So we know he’s not a diagnosable sociopath, since he doesn’t like potential violence aimed at him, anyway. 

Right?

Yup, we know you Republicans are still jealous about all the attention Democrats enjoyed in Chicago back in the days of the hippies, but just think: 40 years, my pinstriped, conservative friends.

Oooh!  An ambiguous warning!

Of course, there’s nothing ambiguous about the gutlessness of people like “John Hoff”:

Nobody in this column except me has a real name, of course, and even I have been known to become “John Hoffman,” in homage to Abbie Hoffman of the Chicago 7.

You know – Abbie Hoffman, upper-class yippie turned condo-pink cause celebre, who went “underground” for a decade after being busted for dealing coke?  The person over whom Pete Townsend earned everlasting credit for clubbing with a guitar at Woodstock? 

The person who served as the model, in many ways, for today’s pampered, privileged, tax-funded hothouse “radicals”?

Anyway, the article continues:

We talked about gas masks. I mentioned how difficult it was, during the Battle of Seattle, to procure a gas mask at the last minute. But it isn’t enough to merely possess a gas mask, oh no. I know from my time in the army that gas-mask training is essential, so you will trust your equipment even when you’re exhausted from running, fighting for breath, and it’s tough to suck air through the filters.

Wow.  Gas mask training.  Sounds dramatic!

Stella told me activists have been planning and coordinating for a few months, traveling to the Twin Cities and quietly familiarizing themselves with routes and landmarks. A meeting between a major group of “anti-authoritarians” and a large liberal Christian organization was scheduled to take place … um, well, no sense mentioning the day or the location.

Of course not!  Because acting like it’s a big secret certainly buffs up that self-serving sense of drama that being an arrested adolescent requires.

Which is, perhaps, what we should write this next bit off to (emphasis added):

Will enough people come to the street demonstrations in 2008? Will it be a gas? Will demonstrators have enough sense to focus on a target of opportunity outside the main security perimeter, like a luxury hotel where delegates will be staying with their laptops and revealing documents, instead of going up against massive security surrounding the convention center? It would be good to apply the hard-earned lessons of Seattle in 1999.

Yeah, I know.  John Hoff and his alleged friends are a bunch of hyperdramatic arrested adolescents; for this little flock of state-supported (over half of a U of M student’s costs are paid by the taxpayer before they even see a tuition figure) dilettantes, the drama is the point; sneaking about with secret names and big plans is validation for people who’ve adopted the whole “change the world now” mission in life.  I’ve known the type over the years – even interviewed a bunch of them on my old KSTP talk show (kids from the “Backroom Anarchist Center”); talking about recreating the fabled riots of the mystic past is for them what NASCAR and sports-talk radio are for blue-collar guys – a time-killer, a substitute for doing something useful.

And yet.

Hoff’s piece appears in the Minnesota Daily – a semi-independent body and not an official voice of the U of M, by any means (if I recall correctly, they are partially funded by student activity fees, although I’m not entirely sure of the extent), but certainly no underground publication.

Question:  If it were a Republican student advocating stalking pro-abortion activists (for that is exactly what Hoff is advocating; “Will demonstrators … focus on a target of opportunity…like a luxury hotel where delegates will be staying with their laptops and revealing documents” which has nothing to do with protesting the administration and everything to do with harassing people who are, in turn, exercising their own rights to free speech and assembly!), what would the university’s reaction have been?

———-

Relax.  I’m not especially exercised about little John Hoff’s fantasy life.  Talk is cheap.  And it doesn’t impugn the vast majority of protesters, who, wrong as they are in my opinion, don’t intend to do anything stupid.

But as much as some on the regional left fret about being “stifled” and “oppressed“, the fact is powerful, well-heeled interests in Saint Paul are looking out for protesters’ First Amendment rights.

I just want to make sure that the rights of those of us who dissent from this city’s political mainstream – and those who come to this city – will get the same consideration.  The mainstream media has been reticent to cover the abuses of the anti-war, anti-Republican protesters.  

If that’s a do-it-yourself job, that’s fine; it’s what we conservative bloggers do best.

But someone’s gotta do it.

Hijabbed in Minneapolis

Reality, as usual, is stuck somewhere between everyone’s perceptions of it.

Immigration is an issue fraught with this trait.

The cultural left believes that America has always been an uneasy truce between incompatible cultures, held together only by the grace of government.

The cultural right believes that until recently, America was a melting-pot rather than a quilt; a place where people (other than the odd bit of pride in their heritage) stripped away the old to embrace the new.

The truth, naturally, is somewhere in between (even if, as usual, somewhere to the right of dead-center).  Not everyone assimilated instantly to the New World.  My maternal grandmother and my ex-father-in-law both grew up speaking other languages – Norwegian and German, respectively.  More globally, many ethnic groups – most notably the Italians of New York and Boston – actively resisted assimilating in the mid-1800s, keeping their language and their customs and the hope of making some money and moving back to the Old Country sooner than later.  Others – the Irish then, some Central Americans now – were similar if not the same.

So it’s not a huge surprise that some people coming from a very foreign cultural tradition and a society little-advanced since the seventh century, might not dive into American culture head-first.

What’s distressing is that so many Americans – too many – are actively facilititating this; creating an America of many cultures that intersect only where they absolutely have to.

 Katherine Kersten in the Strib, in the second part of a great two-part series on MCTC‘s effort to install Moslem-friendly facilties, and the agenda behind the move:

Last week, I wrote about Minneapolis Community and Technical College, which is planning to install facilities to help Muslim students perform ritual washing before daily prayers. It’s a simple matter of extending “hospitality” to newcomers, says President Phil Davis — no different than providing a fish option in the college cafeteria for Christian students during Lent… [But] On the [College’s Muslim Accomodations Task Force website] , I found information about the handful of public colleges that have “wudu,” or ritual bathing, facilities.

Now, a conservative – or one that believes in separation of church and state, no matter what their politics – might be tempted to ask “what allowances do public colleges make for Christians?”  Of course, modern Christianity is pretty low-impact as far as public affordances go; most of us can pray in private if we’re so inclined, and can save our public observances for church. 

Islam, traditionally, is different – although Moslems around the world do get allowances for interacting with modernity.  Should they want them.

Which is the big qualification.  I’ll add emphasis below:

But I also discovered something more important for colleges seeking guidance on “accommodations”: Projects like MCTC’s are likely to be the first step in a long process.

The task force’s eventual objectives on American campuses include the following, according to the website: permanent Muslim prayer spaces, ritual washing facilities, separate food and housing for Muslim students, separate hours at athletic facilities for Muslim women, paid imams or religious counselors, and campus observance of Muslim holidays. The task force is already hailing “pioneering” successes. At Syracuse University in New York, for example, “Eid al Fitr is now an official university holiday,” says an article featured on the website. “The entire university campus shuts down to mark the end of Ramadan.” At Henry Ford Community College in Dearborn, Mich., “halal” food — ritually slaughtered and permissible under Islamic law — is marked by green stickers in the cafeteria and “staff are well-trained in handling practices.”

At Georgetown University, Muslim women can live apart in housing that enables them to “sleep in an Islamic setting,” as the website puts it. According to a student at the time the policy was adopted, the university housing office initially opposed the idea, on grounds that all freshman should have the experience of “living in dorms and dealing with different kinds of people.” That might sound appealing, Muslim students told a reporter in an article featured on the website. But in their view, the reporter wrote, “learning to live with ‘different kinds of people’ ” actually “causes more harm than good” for Muslims, because it requires them to live in an environment that “distracts them from their desire to become better Muslims, and even draw[s] weaker Muslims away from Islam.”

In some of these cases, I don’t see a huge problem; in areas where Moslems are a significant part of the population (like Dearborn), the market will drive these things, just as Catholics in the market drive cafeterias to serve fish on Fridays.  As to holidays – well, at a private school (like Syracuse and Georgetown), it’s really up to the buyer to decide if they want Eid off; when I was in college, during some of my tougher semesters, I’d have taken Cthulhian holidays if could’ve gotten ’em.

For that matter, if private schools want to invest in prayer spaces and separate facilities for Moslems because it’s just-plain good marketing, more power to ’em. 

But at public schools?  I don’t want tax money going toward separate-but-equal capital expenditures for anyone’s religion, even my own!

Read the rest of Kersten’s piece, which goes into great depth about the agitation for these changes.

My NARN colleague Ed Morrissey writes: Ed Morrissey writes:

In other words, what we will get from this process of multiculturalism is precisely the kind of “separate but equal” facilities struck down by the Supreme Court in Brown v Board of Education in 1954. These Muslim activists want to create a separate society within the United States for Muslims, and they want the US to provide them the facilities with which to create it. Separate dorms, separate cafeterias, Muslim-only physical-education classes — they want a separate Muslim college at MCTC and everywhere else. It’s self-initiated apartheid.

Forty years ago and more, we had segregationists insisting that different peoples could not live within the same area without dividing lines…Now we have Muslims who want to reopen the argument in order to create a closed society for themselves within the US. We have no problem with Muslims who integrate into our society and become Americans in deed as well as in name. If Muslims want to open their own universities to ensure the proper exercise of their religion, well, that works too…We do not need religious apartheid at MCTC or any other public university or facility. If devout Muslims do not want to integrate into American society, then they need to find another place to live. Period.

That is, of course, the larger danger; that a significant part of our society will get the means to segregate itself…

…with the active connivance of too many “well-meaning” Americans.

Less Than Clear On The Concept

My NARN colleague Captain Ed has had his usual excellent commentary in re the Virginia Tech shooting yesterday.

But in his piece on the shootings this morning, he betrays a key misunderstanding (too much hobnobbing with Bill Buckley, perhaps?) of one of the issues:

However, concealed=carry permits would not necessarily have prevented this, either. As my cousin Mike pointed out in the comments yesterday, such permits require the holder to be 21 years of age or older. That would have disqualified at least three-quarters of the students on campus. It would have only taken one or two to confront the shooter in this case, and at Appalachian Law (also in Virginia), armed students successfully ended a rampage.

Well, Ed is right – all it would have taken was one.

Or none.

The key reason to have “shall-issue” laws in place is not just to kill criminals; it is to deter violent crime. 

And where have the highest-profile mass-shootings taken place?  Schools – which, by federal law, are “gun-free”.  Colleges, which have the option to follow the same route.  The New York subway, where Colin Ferguson murdered five people, knowing he’d have no resistance without a cop present (getting a carry permit in New York City is mainly a function of political connections).  Luby’s Cafeteria, in Lubbock Texas, long before Texas adopted a “shall issue” law (and where, famously, one woman watched her mother die of a gunshot wound, regretting having left her own gun in the car), an incident which helped lead Texas to adopt “Shall Issue”.  The McDonalds in San Ysidro, California, where 21 died; it’s as difficult for a civilian to get a permit in California as it was in 1981.

You don’t see many mass-murders at NRA conventions or NASCAR races. 

The possibility that a would-be killer might face armed civilians doesn’t guarantee safety, of course – but the legal guarantee that a would-be killer will not face such a threat (as was the case at Virginia Tech, Columbine, Red Lake, Cold Spring-Rokori, Pearl Mississippi and dozens of smaller shootings) certainly doesn’t make anyone safer.  A hard target is always safer than a soft target.

Back to Ed:

However, that student was a former law-enforcement officer who retrieved his service pistol from his car, not just a student with a carry permit.

True, and irrelevant.  Virginia had a “shall-issue” law in 2002; while former cops are more likely to have guns than the general public (thankfully, in that case), it wouldn’t have mattered if it were an ex-cop or “just” a student, a staffer or a passerby who shot or deterred the killer.  Statistically, armed citizens are every bit as effective as law-enforcment when it comes to face-to-face cases of self-defense.

The story is so old it hardly bears re-telling – but several decades ago, Israeli schools and their children were among Palestinian terrorists’ favorite targets.  Israel started allowing teachers to carry pistols – requiring it, in some instances. 

What do they know that we don’t?

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today, Part XLVII

It was Friday, April 17, 1987.

I’d been out of work for two solid weeks.  I’d finally meandered my way down to the unemployment office. 

I’ve been on unemployment twice in the past twenty years.  Most recently, in 2003 when the Clinton Recession in the software market left me with no work for five months and skimpy work for six more, it was a streamlined, online snap; you applied online, called in your hours by phone, and got your checks by direct deposit.  Miserable as unemployment was, it was one state program that’s actually gotten easier.  And the legislators and bureaucrats had even gotten together to help things make some sense; if you made a few bucks on a freelance job, they’d just deduct it from  your unemployment check rather than threaten to kick you off. 

In 1987?  You went downtown with a folder full of paperwork.  And you got in line.  And waited.  And waited. 

And talked with a frumpy, grumpy person who really seemed to hate dealing with you.

And got a stern warning that if you picked up any income on the side, tried to stretch your check in any way, you could lose your unemployment coverage. 

And went forth with a time to come back and fill out more paperwork.  And wait.  And wait.  And wait some more.

It took a month, as I recall, to actually get an unemployment check.  I think it was $275 for two week’s non-work. 

Better than nothing. 

———-

But I did finally find out why my roommates and I were getting the stink-eye from the neighbors.

I walked over to Henri’s one warm afternoon after a day of job-hunting – a little neighborhood corner bar with a pool table, great burgers and $1.50 pints of beer – for a drink one afternoon.  I got to talking with the waitress – something I spent a lot of time doing in the next few months.

I told her I lived in the duplex at the corner of Minnehaha and Fry. 

“Ah”, she said.  “You heard about what happened, didn’t you?”

She started explaining…and it came back to me, a news story that Karen Booth had covered at KSTP a few months earlier.  An unemployed social worker had hatched a project; build a group home in a duplex.  On one side of the duplex would be juvenile victims of sexual abuse. 

On the other side of the duplex – adult perpetrators of sexual abuse.

I’ll let that sink in for a moment.  Goodness knows I had to.

The neighbors in the Midway, Karen duly reported, had risen up in arms, veritably storming City Hall to get the Council to nix the idea.  Which, after the usual bureaucratic legerdemain, they had done. 

News cycles passed.  I forgot about the story.

Until, sitting on a bar stool at Henri’s talking to Lori the waitress, it dawned on me. 

I’d moved into that duplex.  My landlord was that social worker. 

Some of my neighbors were wondering if I was one of those guys.

But the duplex was a nice place.  And I figured – if the landlord had hatched the group home idea, he must have worked out a lifetime of dumb.

It couldn’t get any worse.  Could it?

The ABCs

From Red, via Belldame, it’s the alphabet meme.

  • A- Available or Single? Single.  “Available” is such a loaded term. 
  • B- Best Friend. Not counting guitars (my old Ventura acoustic and my 1960 Fender Jazzmaster), there’s a couple of guys going back 10-30 years who’d qualify.
  • C- Cake or Pie.  Not just any pie, of course – lemon meringue and key lime would be the, er, cream of the crop. 
  • D- Drink of Choice. Tossup – limeade, Smithwick’s Ale, or pineapple juice.
  • E- Essential Item. Laptop?  Guitars?  One of those, probably.
  • F- Favorite Color. Green
  • G- Gummi Bears or Worms. Both of them are loathsome.
  • H- Hometown. If you’ve read the blog at all, you know.
  • I- Indulgence. On Sundays when I don’t have the kids, going to some out-of-the-way place and having lunch and reading a book with nobody telling me where to go or what to do.
  • J- January or February. February.  January starts with a hangover (even if it’s not a literal one for me, it’s a figurative one) and ends in the middle of winter.  February is short and ends with March, which, as much as I love winter, is where you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
  • K- Kids. Bun and Zam.  15 and 14. 
  • L- Life is incomplete without… Friends, family, music, great conversation, good food.
  • M- Marriage Date. Beta version: October 13, 1990.  Final release:  TBD, no real rush to schedule it.
  • N- Number of Siblings? Two – Barb in Billings, Jim in Minneapolis.  Plus three (I think) stepsiblings that I’ve never knowingly met.
  • O- Oranges or Apples? Apples by a nod.  All kinds, especially Mutsus (if I can find ’em).
  • P- Phobias/Fears. No big ones.  I get motion sickness on fairground rides much more violent than the bumper cars, but that’s not “phobia” so much as “I hate violent motion that I don’t control”.
  • Q- Favorite Quote. So many.  “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”  “I offer only blood, sweat, toil and tears”  “Your job isn’t to die for your country.  Your job is to make the other poor, dumb sonofabitch die for his country”.  “I’m not a liberal, so I’m not an expert at things I know nothing about”.  “Whoever said ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ never had to bet his life on it”.  “Who dares wins”.  “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants”.  Dozens more.
  • R- Reasons to smile. Health, springtime, great job, kids are coming along nicely – too many to list, although it helps to force myself to do it anyway.
  • S- Season. I like ’em all, except for the dog days of summer.  Early winter is probably my favorite.
  • T- Tag Three. Nah.
  • U- Unknown Fact About Me. I’d like to keep it that way.
  • V – Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals. Oppressor – but less so every year.
  • W- Worst Habit. I worry too much.
  • X – X-rays or Ultrasounds. Whatever it takes.
  • Y- Your Favorite Foods. The more ethnic, the better. Crazy about Mexican, Russian, Turkish, Greek, Lebanese (all the mediterranean/middle eastern stuff), Korean, Vietnamese, you name it.
  • Z- Zodiac. I don’t pay much attention, but according to people who do, I’m very Sagittarius.

Bye Bye Love

The Cars were one of those bands I was always kind of ambivalent about.  It took me a few years to realize why; the songs Ric Ocasek sang, I really didn’t much care about. Bassist Ben Orr, on the other hand, sang the cool stuff.

And when it came to the Cars, there was no cooler song than this one!

UPDATE:  It seems the copyright police struck overnight. 

Well, anyway – I remember seeing the Cars in live appearances later on in their career (during and after the Panorama era)  where they looked like they could barely tolerate each other.  The last time I saw them was probably on SNL in ’87, doing “Touch and Go”; the band visibly hated each other, and ground through the song with all the spark and zing of a late-afternoon staff meeting.

The vid I linked, though, was from a German concernt in about 1978, doing “Bye Bye Love”.   The band was young and kinetic; the song centered on Elliot Easton’s spare but incendiary guitar and Dave Robinson’s Keith-Moonish drums (great on the album, better live).  On the album, “Bye Bye Love” is one of the most perfect pop records of all time.  Live, played by a band that still could leave it all out on stage, it’s a thrill.

But  you’ll have to take my word for it.

My Advice To My Kids

As news of the various, horriffic incidents like at Virginia Tech, Red Lake, Columbine and other schools has come in over the years, I’ve built up a sizeable body of advice for my kids.

If someone points a gun at you and tells you “get in the car” – don’t.  Resist, fight back, run away.  Your odds of survival are better with a thug shooting at you if you’re a moving target than if you go to a secondary crime scene.  Even if you’re hit, a 9mm bullet has statistically about a 17% chance of killing you; at a secondary crime scene, your odds of survival are probably in single digits.

If someone tells you “get on your knees” or “line up” – don’t.   Run.  Break away, away from the shooter.  Hitting a moving, dodging target is a lot harder than it looks on TV.   Shooters like the dirtball at Virginia Tech or all the other school shootings are counting on compliant, scared victims; they found them:

One of his friends was in a Norris classroom targeted by the gunman, Jenkins said.

“He was very fortunate,” Jenkins said. “He said every single person in the room was shot, killed and was in the ground. He laid on the ground with everyone … he played dead and he was OK.”

Running and getting away throws off the shooter’s plan at the very least.  And again, even if the scumbag shoots, his odds of hitting you are much slimmer if you’re moving, and if he hits you, your odds of living are much better if you’re moving away, fast, than if he’s putting a gun to the back of your immobile head.

Oh, yeah – and if your school tries to “lock down” around you?  Get out.  Any way you can; break away before your teacher can lock the door – run over her, go out the window, whatever it takes; do not sit still with a bunch of other immobile targets.   At the very best, your school’s administrators’ primary motivation is to “manage the situation”, not protect you, personally.  Sitting ducks make easier targets.  Most of the dead in the Red Lake massacre three years ago were sitting in a locked-down classroom, like cattle penned up for the slaughter.  So were many of the dead at Virginia Tech today.

Speed and evasion are your best protection, until that blessed day when you can get your own carry permit. 

That is all.

Words – and Prohibitions – Fail

My prayers go out to everyone involved in the massacre at Virginia Tech

Politics have no place in this horrific tragedy and ghastly crime  (As a personal aside; the shooter is reportedly dead.  I sincerely hope it was a cop that fired that last fatal bullet. I’m sick of these mass-murdering animals destroying dozens of lives and then checking out on their own).

But amid the shock, horror and (soon) grief, it’s worth noting that, according to the school’s policies and procedures guide, Virginia Tech is a safe zone for mass murderers “gun-free” school (emphasis added):

 2.2 Prohibition of Weapons

The university’s employees, students, and volunteers, or any visitor or other third party attending a sporting, entertainment, or educational event, or visiting an academic or administrative office building or residence hall, are further prohibited from carrying, maintaining, or storing a firearm or weapon on any university facility, even if the owner has a valid permit, when it is not required by the individual’s job, or in accordance with the relevant University Student Life Policies.  

 Any such individual who is reported or discovered to possess a firearm or weapon on university property will ked to remove it immediately.  Failure to comply may result in a student judicial referral and/or arrest, or an employee disciplinary action and/or arrest.

As Joel Rosenberg notes, a bill to allow law abiding permit-holders to carry guns on Virginia university campuses died in committee.

It’d be the depth of tastelessness to try to capitalize on this horror for political gain.  But when the shock wears off, it might be worth noting that disarming the law abiding doesn’t protect anyone.

One professor with a gun in his desk, one girl with a .38 in her purse, one student with a legal, permitted handgun, and this tragedy could have turned out very different.  Goodness knows obeying the University’s rules didn’t do anyone a damn bit of good.

Matt Stoller: Unamerican

No matter how they undercut the military, no matter what loathing they pour upon America’s system and elected adminsitration and capitalist system and history, no matter what horrors they’ve coddled as they do so, it’s established that one dare not call any liberal “unpatriotic”, for fear of being called an ugly angry conservative.

But apparently, if you’re a major-league leftyblogger, wanting to keep more of the money you earn not only makes you unpatriotic, but it means you hate democracy.

It’s not a coincidence that Grover Norquist, the architect of the right-wing ascension to power, runs an organization called Americans for Tax Reform.  People like Norquist, who are charlatans at heart and deeply unpatriotic and immoral, use the complexity in the tax code that they help to create to persuade Americans that taxes are bad.  This is also true in states all over the country, where it is the unpredictability of property tax burdens and not the amount that causes schools to go wanting for funding.

Our tax code is the DNA of our nation’s moral compass.  I am proud to pay taxes because I take pride in America, and paying some tiny burden to keep our society running is an extremely small price to pay for being able to call myself an American citizen.  The old expression ‘you get what you pay for’ is apt for all sorts of situations.  People tend to express what they value in how much they are willing to pay for it.  I am willing and feel privileged for the right to pay for my country.  The right-wing is embittered to do so, if they do so at all.  And that, more than anything, says something about how much they value this experiment called America

No, Matt Stoller; as Thomas Jefferson himself averred, keeping a lid on the size, power and appetite of government is fundamentally American and itself deeply patriotic; our founding fathers believed that government was not so much an enemy (let’s be realistic) as a animal that needed to be kept tame.

But much more important for this “experiment called America” is the ability and willingness to accept that dissent and difference aren’t themselves base and evil. 

Not to do so is a form of moral retardation that is itself deeply antithetical to what this country is about.

The DFL’s Morning After

Last November’s election was, in many parts of Minnesota, like a drunken night out when you’ve been having a rough time with your significant other.

You’re out on the town. You’ve had a bit too much to drink. You’re feeling sorry for yourself. Along comes a flashy, attractive (after enough drinks) stranger who talks a great game, and seems totally unlike that rat-bastard or cold-hearted wench you’ve been seeing.

Mistakes, as they say, were made.

Now it’s the morning after. You don’t remember much about the night before, except that you hit your ATM for a hell of a lot of money.

And through the hangover, you’re wondering if you are going to need to chew your arm off to get out of his/her place without waking him/her up.

Lori Sturdevant, loyal enabler DFL shill that she is, tries to explain away the drunken mistake of one Republican-leaning district

By the numbers, state Rep. Sandy Wollschlager ought to be one nervous DFL freshman about now.

There’s 28A, her Republican-leaning district in Goodhue and Wabasha counties, bordering beautiful Lake Pepin. Three, the number of times she had to run before finally winning her seat last fall. 51.36 percent, her skinny majority in the 2006 election.

To those scene-setters, add these: 10 cents, the per-gallon gas tax increase she voted for on March 24. 0.375 percent, the proposed bump in sales tax for natural resource preservation that she supports. And $433 million, the additional income tax the House proposes to collect from affluent Minnesotans in the next two years, and redistribute as property tax relief.

Wollschlager acknowledges she’s already hearing about it at her Rotary Club: All those tax increases!

Read: A district is realizing they hooked up with Coyote Ugly. They are putting tabasco sauce on their shoulder.

Sturdevant polishes the turd:

She demonstrated a body-language metaphor for risk-taking that she was planning for a presentation to a group of sixth-grade girls. She stood evenly on one foot, while playfully twirling the other. Standing on two feet would be more secure, but immobilizing. Elevating both feet simultaneously would be gravitationally ill advised. A one-footed stance nicely balances security and risk. That’s key to success, she said, in politics and in life.

Governing a state well requires a similar balancing act. Finding a defensible balance on taxing and spending seemed last week to be a theme for House DFLers…They showed no inclination to rush as they looked for positions to assume in the middle, between the Senate and the governor, where they believe their 29 first-term members can stand on at least one political leg.

One wonders if even Sturdevant believes this BS. I mean, she’s just pointed out that Wollschlager is taking flak from Mainstreet.

I suppose “finding a defensible balance” is the new “circling the wagons against an electorate that is gushing blood from its gnawed biceps”

She’s well aware that veto threats hang over the bills she’s supporting, and that she may come home with little to show for her political risks. But she’d rather keep twirling one foot than standing pat. “Part of being a politician is you have to be optimistic,” she said. That’s part of being a good one, anyway.

Where “Good” equals ensuring that government – every wasteful, cash-guzzling nook and cranny in it – is fed, first and best.

Look for more careful spin-doctoring from Sturdevant, as the electorate in many of these right-leaning districts (you hear me, all of you who voted Phil Krinkie out of office?) silently wonder if they have a bone saw in their wadded underwear…

Lee Roper-Batker: “Two Plus Two Equals Orange”

We’ve talked about the “wage gap” in this space before, by way of noting that as long as you compare apples and apples, there really is none.

The media has carried Op Eds on both sides of the issue this past week – from the sublime (or at least sensible) to the ridiculous.

Representing sensible, Carrie Lukas writes in the WaPo:

 In truth, I’m the cause of the wage gap — I and hundreds of thousands of women like me. I have a good education and have worked full time for 10 years. Yet throughout my career, I’ve made things other than money a priority. I chose to work in the nonprofit world because I find it fulfilling. I sought out a specialty and employer that seemed best suited to balancing my work and family life. When I had my daughter, I took time off and then opted to stay home full time and telecommute. I’m not making as much money as I could, but I’m compensated by having the best working arrangement I could hope for.

Lukas hits on two of the key truths of the issue:  Women exercise different options before and during their careers.  Some pundits – Warren Farrell being a key one – might add that it’s because women have more socially-acceptable options than do most men; while our society is pretty open about women being anything from stay-at-home moms to CEOs, men with kids are pretty much expected to provide, provide, provide (to the point that if a marriage breaks down, or never happens, it’s a matter of rigidly-enforced law).

Women make similar trade-offs all the time. Surveys have shown for years that women tend to place a higher priority on flexibility and personal fulfillment than do men, who focus more on pay. Women tend to avoid jobs that require travel or relocation, and they take more time off and spend fewer hours in the office than men do. Men disproportionately take on the dirtiest, most dangerous and depressing jobs.

Leaving aside dirt and danger, there are some social norms at work here.  Women are more likely to go into lower-paying fields like social work, non-profits, humanities and services; Men are more apt to end up in engineering, technology and sciences, fields that pay more right out of the entry-level gate.  After that, of course, women are vastly more likely to take time -years – off to have and raise kids; men are not. 

If you take a man and a woman who start at a job at exactly the same time, earning exactly the same money, and check back twenty years later, what do you think you’ll see?  If the man has clocked twenty solid years of work without a non-vacation break, and the woman took ten years off in the middle to have and raise kids, who do you think is going to be paid more?

Who do you think should?

When women realize that it isn’t systemic bias but the choices they make that determine their earnings, they can make better-informed decisions.

Smart people – irrelevant of their gender, really, since many men do stay home with the kids these days – know this.

But Lee Roper-Batker, writing Friday’s Strib, does not.

Women’s personal choices are to blame for lower earnings? Systemic workplace discrimination for women is a myth? Rubbish. Lukas presumes that her choices represent the preferences and complex geographic, social, racial and economic realities of women everywhere.

 Roper-Batker then utterly fails to show that Lukas’ example isn’t germane.

 Her assumption is that if women sought “the dirtiest, most dangerous and depressing [of] jobs” like men did, we would achieve equal pay. Tell that to Lois Jenson [one of the Iron Range miners that won the stories lawsuit in 1988 enshrined in the movie North Country] and other women across the nation who “get dirty” fighting to earn a livable wage.

This, of course, is a red herring.  The example of a small group of women who won the right to work a dangerous, dirty job (and, more to the point, not be harassed on the job) has nothing to do with the raw comparative numbers of men and women at dirty, dangerous jobs; even less does it address the real point – that men go into higher paid work because they are expected to, and stay with it more consistently.

Roper-Batker shows a keen sense for comparing apples with axles:

In Minnesota, we’ve modeled how a marketplace can be corrected. In 1982, the Legislature passed the bipartisan State Employees Pay Equity Act. On paper, the bill outlawed sex discrimination against state government workers. In practice, it eliminated the wage gap among 45,000 Minnesotans. Since then, average earnings for women employed by the state have reached 97 percent of average earnings for their male colleagues.

Which, of course, directly supports Lukas’ point!  If you compare apples and apples – people of similar education, experience, and consistency on the job – men and women earn very much the same money.  Indeed, in fields where women start younger and work more consistently (technical writing being one in my personal experience) they tend to out-earn men.

But across the nation, women continue to represent a disproportionate (more than 64 percent) share of minimum wage earners — and an even more disproportionate 40 percent are women of color.

And so Roper-Batker moves on to comparing apples with bowling balls – or at least, we think they’re bowling balls; one doesn’t know what sampling of “women” comprise 64 percent of minimum wage earners; all women over the age of 15?  People over 18, or over 21?  Comparing state employees with a general swathe of minimum-wage workers is misleading to the point of meaningless.  Without addressing why adults are working for minimum wage (or even knowing that they’re adults at all), it seems Roper-Bakter is tossing factoids out and hoping that her audience doesn’t care enough to ask questions.

According to Amy Caiazza, program director for the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, economists give three reasons for the wage gap.

One-third is due to differences in skills and education. Solution: Let’s fund expanded education and training for women that will lead to higher-paying jobs.

But women are already a decisive majority of students in higher education – and the number is rising, to the point where people are seeing a crisis

Another third is due to job segregation: Women tend to cluster in lower-paying occupations. Solution: Let’s work to expand our girls’ visions of the types of jobs they can occupy.

But we’ve been “expanding girls’ visions” for a couple of generations.  When I was in high school, the girls got endless rah-rah about how they could be anything at all.  And they were!  Among my female classmates from Jamestown High in 1981 are doctors, lawyers, nurses, military officers and noncoms, teachers, scientists, engineers and professionals, as well as housewives and service workers – pretty much the gamut of the American labor force.  If a bunch of girls from all kinds of backgrounds from a rural town from almost thirty years ago are all over the occupational map, how can it be that Lee Roper-Bakter, president and CEO of the Women’s Foundation of Minnesota, can think that girls today, beneficiaries of boundless information, generations of their mothers, aunts and sisters working in the big world, and thirty years of constant pep-talking about their potential (that has made them three-fifths of our college students) could be doing worse?

Indeed – what actual evidence is there that girls today don’t have every bit as expansive a vision of their future as boys do?  Quite the contrary – since women are approaching 60% of those in higher education, after a generation of feminized education, it’d seem quite likely the opposite has happened; boys’ visions are the ones becoming constricted.

(Barring, of course, the girls who get pregnant as teenagers and take themselves out of the workforce, and consign themselves to the minimum-wage ghetto right out of life’s gate.  Of this, of course, Roper-Bakter makes no mention – even though they are a drag on women’s numbers in general.  Five’ll get you ten they’re a big part of the “minimum wage” numbers Roper-Batker cited, but I suspect she’d be the last one to tell you).

The final third of the wage gap is “unexplainable.” Solution: Let’s work together to end factors like sexism and racism that suppress women’s pay.

But other than a disjointed, out-of-context claim about minimum-wage workers, Roper-Batker can’t really make the association between sexism and racism with any meaningful numbers.  Are black women really paid less than black men with similar experience, training and consistency on the job?

These smack of systemic failures to me, but ones that can be corrected. The glass ceiling and gender-typed jobs are not illusions, as Lukas suggests, but social constructs.

At this point in history, Roper-Batker might be right.  They might be social constructs – where “society” means “left-leaning dogmo-feminist lobbyists pimping a government solution that might address a non-existent problem – but will certainly give plenty of power and influence to the likes of Lee Roper-Batker”.

 Just as Lois Jenson’s courage ended sexual harassment as an accepted workplace practice, legislation will end persistent wage gaps.

This is ludicrous.

How?

Let’s take the real-world example that Lukas alludes to, and that I cited; a man and a woman who start with the same background and salary.  How – why – should the government mandate that the woman, with ten years’ less experience than the man after twenty years, be paid the same?

And has anyone shown that male apples and female apples – people with the same training, experience and time on the job – aren’t paid the same? 

No. 

So while Lukas blames women for the wage gap and doesn’t support federal legislation requiring “paycheck fairness,” the state of Minnesota knows better. It has already demonstrated that the proof is in the numbers — or legislation — to correct the marketplace. Now we just need to expand it, for the rest of us.

The piece is instructive in its incoherence.  Although there’s no demonstrable problem, Roper-Batker wants the government to tackle it anyway.

Robbing from the axles to spite the apples.

Schlim, Oberst Imus!

Note to the German Army; you’ve really screwed the pooch this time.

Germany – a nation that learned “racism is bad” at the point of American bayonets sixty-odd years ago – is dealing with a series of scandals in the Heer, the German Army:

A German army instructor ordered a soldier to envision himself in New York City facing hostile blacks while firing his machine gun, a video that aired Saturday on national television showed.

The president of the Bronx, the New York City borough that the army instructor referred to in his directions to the soldier, demanded an apology from the German military and said the clip “indicates that bias and assumptions and racism is alive and well around the world.”…The clip shows an instructor and a soldier in camouflage uniforms in a forest. The instructor tells the soldier, “You are in the Bronx. A black van is stopping in front of you. Three African-Americans are getting out and they are insulting your mother in the worst ways. … Act.”

The soldier fires his machine gun several times and yells an obscenity several times in English. The instructor then tells the soldier to curse even louder.

On the one hand, it’s encouraging to see that the Germans, after a decade and a half of post-war decline, are teaching their Army to be something other than a peace corps with guns.

On the other – well, that is just plain wrong.  And dumb.

And you’re treading on you know who’s turf…:

The Rev. Al Sharpton said he was outraged that Germans were “depicting blacks as target practice.”

“I think this is an incredibly racist kind of insult to African-Americans and it speaks to the kind of institutional racism that people think we are hallucinating about,” he said.

The bad news:  we might have to deal with a week of hand-wringing from the media about the culture of oppression to Afro-Americans by the German Army.

The good news:  If Al Sharpton is picketing over in Germany, he won’t be here.

NARN Today

Volume I from 11 to 1 (John, Brian and Chad), Volume III from 3-5 (King and Michael) and Volume II (Ed and I, 1-3) will be talking about…

…stuff. No clue what.

Tune in!

War Is Declared, and Battle Come Down

The Saint Paul Pioneer Press’ new owner is sueing its former publisher, Par Ridder:

[the suit accuses] …Ridder and others of stealing sensitive information as they left for new jobs at the rival Star Tribune newspaper in Minneapolis.

The sweeping 46-page lawsuit takes aim at the Star Tribune and its new owner, Avista Capital Partners, as well as Ridder and two other former Pioneer Press employees who left the paper with him. It claims, among other things, Ridder committed fraud and civil theft, and disclosed trade secrets.

Suffice to say MediaNews – which bought the PiPress after a series of sales that included former Strib owner McClatchy – isn’t happy:

The lawsuit, filed in Ramsey County District Court in St. Paul:

 

  • Asks that Ridder and the two other former Pioneer Press employees not be allowed to work at the Star Tribune for a year. 
  • Claims all three are violating non-compete clauses that they had at the Pioneer Press. 
  • Asks that the computer data they took with them not be used, and that a computer expert be allowed to inspect the defendant’s computers and destroy files containing Pioneer Press data.In a statement released by the Star Tribune, Chris Harte, the newspaper’s chairman, said “we will address these matters point by point in our legal response to the complaint and look forward to a full resolution.”

    Harte said Ridder “has been discussing these matters in good faith with the Pioneer Press,” but that the lawsuit made further comment inappropriate.

    Calls to Ridder and the others named in the lawsuit were not returned.

    Dean Singleton, CEO of MediaNews Group Inc., which controls the Pioneer Press, had sharp words for the Star Tribune when he met with newsroom employees Thursday. Singleton said he was incensed by Ridder’s actions.

    “In Par’s world, he could get away with anything because Daddy would always take care of him,” Singleton said.

    Ridder’s father is P. Anthony “Tony” Ridder, former CEO of the dismantled Knight Ridder newspaper chain. Ridder’s family bought the Pioneer Press in the 1920s, and the company later became Knight Ridder Inc., one of the nation’s largest newspaper operations. Knight Ridder was sold last year to the McClatchy Co., which then owned the Star Tribune. McClatchy quickly sold the Pioneer Press and several other Knight Ridder papers.

  •  The Strib also covers the story (in the business section), and provides a link to the current filings (PDF alert).