One Day At The Met Council, 1996
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: The Metropolitan Council, meeting at their downtown office. It is 1996.
Members Rick Blickson, Sandra Tostenson, Mark Skjellerud, Andy Blotzer and Audrey Vreeland are in committee meeting with Edgar Folkenflick and Eliza Vanderprimp, representatives from “Transit Works”, a consulting company pushing rail mass transit with metro areas.
BLICKSON: We are meeting here today to discuss “Transit Works” proposal that the Twin Cities spend $700 million on a light rail line. Any questions or comments for the consultants?
TOSTENSON: Yes. So just to make sure – the proposed train would be able to run better than buses in the sort of inclement or icy weather that’s so common around here?
FOLKENFLICK: No – light rail trains are no more robust in their handling in snow and ice than a bus, and may in fact me more vulnerable to route blockage in snowy conditions than buses.
SKJELLERUD: OK. But the train is more reliable in general? It can react to stoppages and other irregularities better than buses?
FOLKENFLICK: That’s incorrect. While a bus can merely detour around an obstacle, a train is entirely at the mercy of whatever is on the track.
BLOTZER: Er…OK. But in terms of major incidents…
FOLKENFLICK: …any major incident will require hours to clear, and enough heavy equipment to widen the Panama Canal, maneuvering on busy city streets, thus taking hours to clear any mishaps.
VREELAND: So…er, Mr. Folkenflick, Ms. Vanderprimp – why would anyone buy something so seemingly ill-conceived?
VANDERPRIMP: New York. Boston. San Franciso. Washington DC…
BLICKSON: We’ll take two!
And SCENE
April 17th, 2018 at 11:25 am
Of the 17 Met Council Board Members none will be riding the mini choo-choos with the exception of an opportunity for a photo op.
April 17th, 2018 at 11:31 am
“Agreed. We will use 19th century technology to achieve our 20th century progressive Utopian approach to solving 21st century problems!”
April 17th, 2018 at 12:46 pm
I would point out that the Hiawatha line has killed more people than all of the permit to carry holders combined.
April 17th, 2018 at 1:27 pm
I would point out that the Hiawatha line has killed more people than all of the permit to carry holders combined.
To which the Green Line says, “Hold my beer.”
April 17th, 2018 at 2:30 pm
As an engineer, I had fun figuring out why trains are so expensive–more or less, you need 50 tons of weight to keep a carriage on the tracks in case all 50-60 passengers go to one side to look at a cow while rounding a curve going the other way–and then contemplated how to fix the problem.
I figured out that the problem was that the gauge was too narrow, so I figured that if you widened the gauge to 8′ or so, you could lighten the carriage to about 10-20 tons, use rubber wheels to get better traction and stopping power…..
…..and I then realized that I was designing a bus. And then I thought of ways I could make a bus lighter, more stable, and more efficient….make it lower to the ground, make it a bit shorter…..and yes, I’m designing a car, which actually does less damage to the environment than city buses.
April 17th, 2018 at 2:37 pm
I just read that Gov. Jim Beam has appointed Thissen to the SCOMN. That makes 5, count ’em 5, picks for Jim Beam.
Between that, and the coming glacial resurgence, the choo-choo is the least of your troubles. Trust me here.
The bonus for real America is that Cali reprobates looking for a place to escape the consequences of their perfidy have a Sweet venue to set their sights on. Y’all may have bought some time for the rest of us to prepare for ACWII.
Thanks!
April 17th, 2018 at 2:47 pm
Let’s not forget the property tax breaks.
And who was the largest property owner along the Hiawatha corridor, a route that couldn’t support a single bus line?
Hint: the newspaper went bankrupt several times.
April 17th, 2018 at 3:31 pm
Honolulu’s light rail clusterfarg continues. A lot of politicians & administrators will have very comfortable retirements due to light rail.
http://www.grassrootinstitute.org/2017/06/honolulu-rail-project-most-expensive-in-the-world/
This is a 13 billion dollar system for the one million plus change residents of an island that is earthquake prone.