Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
The CDC has issued a new order allowing cruise ships to sail again.
Without passengers. They can take volunteers who will pretend to be passengers, so the cruise lines can try out their new antiseptic cleaning and social distancing measures to keep the ship safe from the deadliest virus ever known to mankind, which so far (rounded to the nearest whole number) has killed ZERO percent of Americans.
The volunteer cruise must simulate a real cruise, so there will be on-board entertainment venues, activities and meals. No prohibition on wrist bands to obtain unlimited alcoholic beverages while soaking in the hot tub . . . this sounds like my kind of gig.
Yes, yes, taking a risk, informed consent, waiver of rights . . . look, I could get killed crossing the street, alright? I’m studied the Covid facts and numbers. I’m willing to throw caution to the winds. I’ll take my chances of dying of Covid on my free cruise.
Where do I sign up?
I can’t imagine they’d have a lot of trouble finding volunteers in Minnesota…