Pick Me!

The CDC has issued a new order allowing cruise ships to sail again. 

Without passengers.  They can take volunteers who will pretend to be passengers, so the cruise lines can try out their new antiseptic cleaning and social distancing measures to keep the ship safe from the deadliest virus ever known to mankind, which so far (rounded to the nearest whole number) has killed ZERO percent of Americans.

The volunteer cruise must simulate a real cruise, so there will be on-board entertainment venues, activities and meals. No prohibition on wrist bands to obtain unlimited alcoholic beverages while soaking in the hot tub . . . this sounds like my kind of gig.

Yes, yes, taking a risk, informed consent, waiver of rights . . . look, I could get killed crossing the street, alright?  I’m studied the Covid facts and numbers.  I’m willing to throw caution to the winds.  I’ll take my chances of dying of Covid on my free cruise. 

Where do I sign up?

Joe Doakes

I can’t imagine they’d have a lot of trouble finding volunteers in Minnesota…

8 thoughts on “Pick Me!

  1. The volunteer cruise must simulate a real cruise

    Oh! Oh! [vigorously waves hands]

    Can I be the loudmouth drunk who picks fights on the Lido deck? I’ve been practicing for years!

  2. ‘These mathematical models predicting Covid are useless’~ Joe Doakes

    ‘This statistical model I found on Facebook, Gateway Pundit, Daily Caller…etc) proves that Trump won Pennsylvania!’ ~ also Joe Doakes

  3. Can I volunteer for gastro intestinal distress too!
    My wife and I were planning a cruise to Alaska in 2021.

    Its still a no for me.

  4. Good news from Moderna! Their Covid vaccine shows 94.5%

    The mRNA technology is amazing. Very fast development, mild side effects, large volumes can be produced and the technique supposedly works also for cancers. This pandemic is allowing makind to make a quantum leap into a brighter future.

    Science has again proved far superior to politics.

    Moderna vaccine
    Pfizer/ BioNTech vaccine
    Trump lost
    Winning 🏁

  5. Biden’s not even sworn in yet and look at his amazing successes!!

    Grateful to the people who volunteer to take part in these trials, and to the scientists who make it happen.

    Particularly good news for the wider world as this vaccine only needs to be stored at -20C compared to the ~-60C requirement of Pfizer’s vaccine. It can also be stored up to a month in a regular fridge, making global distribution and access to the developing world a lot more feasible.

    Now Russia needs to update its Sputnik vaccine efficacy from 92% to 94.6%

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