Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Students at Oberlin College are upset at the food in the cafeteria.  Not because it sucks – it’s institutional food, suckage is a given – but because the recipes aren’t as good as Mom’s and that makes the college guilty of a ghastly infliction of culinary cultural appropriation. 

 I wonder if the bad food is helping them keep off the Freshman Fifteen, or if they’re like the Marine who wrote a letter to his mother: “The food here is awful, and such small portions!”

 I note the contrast between the student’s petition and my Dad’s favorite tune from the Army:

 The sushi at the college

They say is mighty keen

The fish is hard, the rice is mush

And tastes like kerosene

 Oh, I don’t want no more of college life

Gee, but I want to go,

But Mom won’t let me go,

Gee, but I want to go, home.

 Soldiers faced bad food with humor; students pretend bad food justifies moral outrage, I scoff at whining students as crybabies.  God help them the first time they tell their spouses “It’s not as good as my Mom’s cooking.”

 Joe Doakes

“Mothers” are a form of cultural appropriation.  Trigger warning.  Check your privilege.

Check and mate.