In Which The Goalposts Slide Down The Slippery Slope
By Mitch Berg
Bill Clinton on his wife’s Tuzla Shuffle:
Everybody else had to put their flack jackets underneath the seat in case they got shot at. And everywhere they went they were covered by Apache helicopters. So they just abbreviated the arrival ceremony.
[and placed ituner sniper fire]
Now I say that because, what really has mattered is that even then she was interested in our troops. And I think she was the first first lady since Eleanor Roosevelt to go into a combat zone. And you woulda thought, you know, that she’d robbed a bank the way they carried on about this. And some of them when they’re 60 they’ll forget something when they’re tired at 11:00 at night, too.”
“Forget something?” Er, sure. I might forget a mundane trip or two in fifteen years. I might even forget the odd bit of, um, extramarital wango tango at the office, if you catch my drift.
Since Hillary’s never been shot at in her life, I’d suspect “being under fire” isn’t one of them.
Sen. Clinton did not apologize, like Mr. Clinton asserted, she simply indicated that she mispoke when describing the Bosnia incident.
“Listen carefully; she did not lie…about…that trip. It depends on what the meaning of the term “sniper fire”…is.”
Wait for MoveOn.org to start trying to convince the world that “fake but accurate” applies to sniper fire.
April 11th, 2008 at 7:55 am
You know what I’d remember? If I were the president and terrorists were trying to attack Air Force One so I had to fly all over the country and hide like a big pussy. But then it turns out there weren’t any terrorists trying to attack Air Force One so I guess I misspoke. But I got to read a book about goats and they gave me peanuts on the plane, so on the whole, pretty good day!
Angry W. Clown
April 11th, 2008 at 7:58 am
I give it a three.
It’s almost like you’re phoning it in.
Too much seltzer last night?
(And did 9/11 actually happen, or did someone “misspeak” there, too?)
April 11th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Ahh, I’ll give the President a pass on that one, AC. As far as I know, he was following the advice of the Secret Service, and probably following protocol for situations like this. Donald Rumsfeld, on the other hand, was not following protocol.
Yep, Clinton is telling a whopper. She didn’t misspeak once late at night. She’s been caught embellishing a bit too much. Suffer the consequences.
April 11th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Pretty sure it happened, Mitch. Or else they made a mistake when they named my street after a dead fireman who used to live here. Plus I saw the wreckage when the soldiers and cops let people go south of 14th Street. It was four days before Shrub worked up the courage to visit.
How’s that smokin’ out Osama thing going anyway?
April 11th, 2008 at 8:32 am
If she “misspoke” because she was exhausted from campaigning, what will happen when she gets the famous 3:00 a.m. phone call?
Maybe we need somebody with more stamina.
April 11th, 2008 at 8:55 am
> How’s that smokin’ out Osama thing going anyway?
Hey Clown, it’s the Defeatokrats who want to take our troops out of Iraq so we can’t hunt down Iranian-backed Al Qaeda.
If Bin Laden says Iraq’s the front line, it’s the front line.
/jc
April 11th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Pretty sure it happened, Mitch.
No, I was fairly sure about it myself. Although there are a few “truthers” around these parts who keep trying to fuzz up the details.
So we’re agreed that 9/11 happened. Good. That’s one-up for the President.
I guess the elite Tuzla Sniper Squad was “fake but inaccurate”.
April 11th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Al Qaeda is now backed by the Iranians?????? C’mon, you can do better than this, Splash. Iran has their hand in the Maliki government and the Sadr militia, but not in Al Qaeda.
Shiites, Sunnis. They’re all the same to you, eh?
April 11th, 2008 at 9:41 am
Clownie wins the Bill Clinton Divert and Distort Award! A post about how Bill and Mrs. Clinton are both pathological liars becomes a thread about George Bush and 9/11. You ought to go into politics.
April 11th, 2008 at 9:51 am
The Clintons are pathological liars. And Bush is an over-his-head simpleton whose orders on 9/11 came from Cheney.
“President Obama.” Get used to it, you evil wingnuts!
April 11th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Mitch informed: “So we’re agreed that 9/11 happened.”
Yes, but the New York Times didn’t report it. Learned that on a blog or something.
(Blog comment written Sept. 10, 2001.)
UPDATE: Yes it did, *eventually*.
April 11th, 2008 at 10:10 am
“President Obama.”
So we get another pathological liar who is “in over-his-head”.
Whoopee.
April 11th, 2008 at 10:27 am
You know, AssClown’s pathetic screeching suggests to me that when John McCain is sworn into office next year, many moonbats will open a window and actually try their hand at flying.
The loss of all that fodder for mockery could have a severe, negative effect on our internet entertainment.
Friends, if there is a moonbat in your life, one that you have adopted as a pet for instance, you are going to have to be vigilant next January. Maybe keep your moonbat confined to it’s cage for a couple of days until it calms down.
Keep the cage covered, make sure your bat always has plenty of fresh kool-aid available and play lots of Dixie Chicks and Elton John music to sooth the poor creature.
April 11th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Hey Swiftee, you psychotic scumbag, it will be enjoyable to witness, from a distance, you crapping your urine-stained pants when the election is won by a Democrat who also happens to be a BLACK MAN. Mwahahahahaha!
April 11th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Lessee….taking precautions to deal with an uncertain threat on a day when terrorists had already snuffed out nearly 3000 lives is equivalent to making up a story about something that never happened, and getting your DAUGHTER to tell the story even as you’re admitting that it was false. Did I get that right?
Judging from your level of logic, angryclown, I would dare hazard that the bright red nose on your face has little or nothing to do with makeup. Can I have some? It must be pretty good.
April 11th, 2008 at 10:59 am
An AP-Ipsos poll taken in late February had Obama leading McCain 51-41 percent. The current survey, conducted April 7-9, had them at 45 percent each. McCain leads Obama among men, whites, Southerners, married women and independents.
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080410/D8VV52QG0.html
We may recommend a coursze of sedatives as well.
April 11th, 2008 at 11:01 am
I have no doubt Obama has the Clown vote sewn up.
April 11th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Men, whites, southerners… WINGNUTS!
April 11th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Ahh, moonbat racism rears it’s ugly, ugly head again…pathetic, really.
AssClown, conservatives do not judge people by the color of their skin or by their gender but by their actions. Therefore, it is correct to say that any Democrat in office is always a disaster, irrespective of their physical or gender related attributes.
Which reminds me.
Friends, when you sequester your pet moonbat for calming after McCain’s inevitable victory be sure to keep wood and matches well away from the cage lest your little bat construct a little cross to burn and start the house ablaze.
April 11th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Yeah, angry old guy with yellow teeth, cancer and post-traumatic stress disorder. That’ll happen. And that hundred years in Iraq idea is really going to catch on.
How I will dance with joy and mock, you twisted, vicious little midwestern wingnut, when you’re ruled by Democrats and forced to slither back under your rock.
April 11th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Hmm…I see you dance and mock now in anticipation, angryclown. We shall see…
April 11th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Great will be Angryclown’s mirth, Trojan Man.
April 11th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
I seem to remember the clown commenting — more than once — that McCain wasn’t such a poor choice for Prez. Now he’s in the bag for BHO.
Obama grew up in Hawaii. Hawaii is one of the most politically corrupt states in the country. Obama went to the same private school that Hawaii’s political poobah’s send their kids to. He also spent some of his childhood in Indonesia, a nation known for not only for political corruption, but political violence as well. After law school he became a ‘community activist’ in Chicago and then Congressman from a Chicago district. There ain’t nobody in Chicago politics who is not actively corrupt or at least played along with a corrupt system.
Clown should follow the political advice of Sean Astin. Astin is not only the son of Patty Duke, he’s the adopted son of Gomez Addams. Plus he was also a carrier of the One Ring.
That’s a better endorsement than born-again Mexican Bill Richardson.
April 11th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Who cares whether or not a black man gets elected? We just don’t want another effing socialist.
I love how AC seems to be so sure here in April. Seven months is a long time in politics. Look what seven months did for Clinton… and AlGore.
April 11th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
True, Badda, seven months is a long time. Your guy could die. He’s pretty old.
April 11th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Not just that, AC… he might not even figure out who he wants to run with in seven months. Might not be enough time for McCain.
However, McCain is your guy. You’ve been pushing him on us for months now. He’s not necessarily my guy at all… I’ve got seven months, after all.
April 11th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
“Great will be Angryclown’s mirth, Trojan Man. ”
Uh oh, sounds like a rough time ahead for AC’s saddle pal Andy “li’l cowboy” Birkey.
As for me, I’ve survived Democrat administrations before, I could do it again…no problem.
But of course there’s not an ice cubes chance in hell that Hillary! is even going to get the Democrat endorsement and poor Obama’s left to the racist whims of his moonbat ilk.
A McCain presidency is far from optimum, but the sight of all those ‘bats beating their heads against the wall and leaping out windows will be some comfort.
Say AssClown, what floor do you live on?
April 11th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Angryclown’s just fuckin’ with ya, Terry and Badda. McCain might make a good president. Certainly an improvement over the current chimp.
To tell the truth, Angryclown is already merry over the disappointment you must feel having to settle for McCain – the Democrat’s favorite Republican. ‘Specially Swiffer. Cause Swiffer’s a a creepy, psychotic douchebag.
Of course considering that the Repubics have given us the worst two-term presidency in history, a failed economy and an unpopular, losing war in Iraq, Angryclown’s gotta like the chances for President Obama. And he knows that will make all you wingnuts very, very sad.
April 11th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
In 2000, the last year of a democrat president, unemployment hovered around 4.5%. This month it’s 5%. Last year of the last Clinton administration, the dow was at 10,700. So far this year its been around 12,700.
Total non-farm jobs in 2000: 131.5 million. In March of 2008: 137.8 million.
Home ownership rates have gone from about 67% in 2000 to 70% today.
Hardly a “failed economy”, but you know how liberals work. If they can convince voters that we’re in the 2nd Great Depression they’re more likely to accept tax increases and government intervention in the economy. There’s nothing libs like more than taking the money from working Americans.
April 12th, 2008 at 2:55 am
Here’s John Podhoretz talking about Obama’s stupid prejudice:
Gollee! I don’ unnerstand all o’ them big words, but he done sound like he’s a’talkin’ bout AC much as he’s tawkin’ bout Barak Hussein Obama! Hey Y’all, if’n you think the clown tawks sense then ya’ better vote for Barak Hussein Obama, Gol durn it! I guess that Podhorowitz is One Smart Joo!
April 12th, 2008 at 3:41 am
And by the way, Obama’s remarks are textbook Marxism. He believes that these peoples’ wickedness (such as it is) is determined by their economic circumstance. No job prospects, so they are religious, bigoted gun nuts. Please, Democrats, run this man for President!
April 12th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Don’t like what you see when Obama holds up a mirror, eh?
April 12th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Hey, I’m no Marxist!
The good people of Pennsylvania were more bigoted back when they were enjoying economic good times. Obama’s just regurgitating what he was taught. He is tenacious in holding onto ideas conceived in ignorance. He is a bigot.