I Don’t Fly Much
By Mitch Berg
But I’m almost tempted to start, just so I can join everyone else…
…in telling the TSA where they can shove their fingers.
Look – I know some TSA workers. Not a few of them do sincerely care about security.
But the leadership is a huge, huge problem.
November 19th, 2010 at 9:07 am
The longer I live, the more I see the truism that “Good people in a bad system produce bad results.”
November 19th, 2010 at 9:11 am
TSA is like a Gilbert Gottfried bit — “does it bother you if I do this? How about this?”
November 19th, 2010 at 9:28 am
Beware of law and order liberals.
November 19th, 2010 at 9:34 am
Personally, I like, “These are not the ‘droids you’re looking for” when being groped.
That, or “Aren’t you going to ask me if I want fries with that?”
November 19th, 2010 at 9:37 am
People should just start dropping trou. The aversion therapy might get them to slack off.
November 19th, 2010 at 9:38 am
TSA was the kind of big government solution W loved, the bastard. It’s a classic case of bureaucratic FAIL. All they can do is react, if the full-body scanners and pat downs become the new standard the jihadists will start sewing bombs inside people.
November 19th, 2010 at 9:42 am
“Unless your toothbrush is in my medicine cabinet, move your hand.”
November 19th, 2010 at 9:56 am
In my view this is 100% intentional. The government is poking and poking us saying “c’mon peasants, fight back so we can say YOU are the ones turning violent”. November 24 or “opt-out day” is the breaking point. The American people will collectively snap on that day and it won’t be pretty.
November 19th, 2010 at 10:02 am
Hey, Hey, TSA – How many kids did you grope today?
November 19th, 2010 at 10:09 am
Yes and I fear that this is just the beginning!
Yesterday, that union goon moron Ray LaHood, proposed scambling cell phone signals in cars because “we have to save lives.”
Far be it from me to wish harm to anyone, but the more I hear that guy, the more I wish that he could pull a Jimmy Hoffa type disappearing act.
November 19th, 2010 at 10:14 am
I’m with Kerm…when you remove your shoes, just haul your (Tommy)Johnson out and let it swing in TSAss’s face.
Oh, and don’t forget to take a Viagra before you leave for the airport.
November 19th, 2010 at 10:17 am
Flying is not a right. People are free to travel on buses, cars, bikes, horses or on foot. My right to not be blown up in mid air trumps anybody’s right to pack whatever they please and take it on board an airplane. If we could trust people, we could just ask them what’s in the bag, underwear, etc. But we can’t. So we need scanners. And pat downs. If you think it’s fun to look at fat, naked people, I invite you to work with me as a doctor for a couple of weeks.
November 19th, 2010 at 10:44 am
Note to commenters: “Vi*gra” is one of those words common in “spam” emails that will trip the moderation queue every single time.
As will the word “Socialist”, because, well, “Socialist”, if you catch my drift.
It’s either that or go back to the glory days of getting between 100 and 4,000 spam comments a day.
November 19th, 2010 at 10:50 am
But hey, at least 3 admitted terrorists are no longer being waterboarded.
Hmmm, I wonder if there are any hot TSA babes working at MSP.
November 19th, 2010 at 11:13 am
golfdoc50;
Your points are well taken, but, there are better ways to maintain security without being this invasive. Several other countries use profiling to weed out threats and it has worked for them. It’s only us too PC countries that have what amounts to a cluster f#$& at our airports.
I don’t want to sound racist here, but, facts are facts. People of middle eastern descent have been responsible for several incidents involving airplanes over the years, yet their women are now getting a pass? Sorry; but everyone should have to go through the scanner or the pat down.
As I have posted before; Osama and his mooslim buddies have accomplished exactly what they wanted to; our financial system is struggling and we’re scared of our own shadows. Accordingly, they are sitting in a cave somewhere in Pakistan laughing like demented hyenas.
November 19th, 2010 at 11:19 am
golfdoc50 said:
“Flying is not a right”
I agree.
“My right to not be blown up in mid air trumps anybody’s right to pack whatever they please and take it on board an airplane”
I disagree, mostly because you misuse the concept of a ‘right’ in the “modern” way that makes the difference between a ‘right’ and a ‘desire’ entirely unclear. And I can pack nothing and still get a TSA “massage”.
Do you really want to throw out the 4th amendment? Or is a more reasonable (and effective) compromise between the conflicting rights of air passengers a better goal?
http://www.leftcoastrebel.com/2010/11/quote-of-day-nobody-likes-to-have-their.html
November 19th, 2010 at 11:26 am
The Israelis have had this down pat for decades. They don’t frisk 3 year old girls, grandmas or nuns. They interview everyone, profile, and they have a damn good record. We are so afraid of offending Muslims that we take idiotic measures terrorists are certain to exploit.
This PC crap has to stop.
November 19th, 2010 at 11:26 am
I agree with golfdoc50, but I think Terry is on to something.
There is a serious problem to be resolved: terrorist attacks on airplane commerce by Muslims.
TSA is a typical Big Gov solution: it could be quickly implemented using low-wage employees and some machines for visible effect: people in uniform asking lines of people for ID and subjecting them to searches. It is easy to point to and say, “see, look what we’re doing” – pats on the head all round. It incorporates trendy policies (no “profiling”) which effectively sabotage the original purpose but are cause for more pats on the head.
BTW, are fully covered Muslims also subjected? I’ve heard mixed stories…
The TSA was a fundamentally unserious approach to solving a serious problem. That said it perfectly mirrored American society’s feeling about the problem. Raising the stakes by more aggressive and intrusive searches is completely in keeping with this Big Government approach. Just as so many of the protests reflect the fact that American society still does not acknowledge the extent of the problem.
November 19th, 2010 at 11:43 am
And unfortunately, the TSA is Security Theater at most.
They are always around to close the barn door after the horse escaped. Shoe bomber, then remove your shoes. Never mind that an equal amount of explosives can be secreted within body cavities.
Never mind that businesses within the secure area receive uninspected packages, and even require prohibited items to open the packages. Never mind that employees of said businesses receive little to no screening before employment.
Never mind that weapons can be made of credit cards, shoe laces, guitar strings, bic pens.
TSA will be there to tell you how they are hanging.
November 19th, 2010 at 11:50 am
What BossHoss Kermit and Loren said. Totally. And our pal Dog Gone might do something useful by training her schutzhunds to sniff for explosives.
November 19th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I wonder if we can play Political Correctness against itself?
***
Hi, I decline the scan, I’d like to be pat searched please, and by a woman.
But you’re a man.
If somebody is going to be handling my genitals, I’d rather it be a woman than some Somali guy. That’s just sick.
We must assign same-sex screeners.
No problem. Gender is a matter if choice. I’ve just decided that I’m really a woman, trapped in a man’s body. I’ll get that fixed later but right now, I’m a pre-operative transexual woman. So go ahead and assign me my same-sex screener, a woman.
You’re not a woman, you’re a man.
You’re discriminating against me on the basis of my sexual orientation. That’s unconstitutional. I demand you find me a woman to fondle my junk. I’d like a pretty one, if you have one on staff. And I demand that she examine me thoroughly, at length. Those aren’t puns, either, those are my Constitutional rights. At least until I get through the checkpoint, when I’ll change my mind back and decide to remain a man. But that’s for me to decide, not you; let the groping begin.
***
Might be more fun that a boycott. Wonder how the GLBT folks would feel about it?
.
November 19th, 2010 at 4:37 pm
nate, next time you fly, let me know. I’m dying to hear how well that works.
November 20th, 2010 at 7:17 am
I totally agree that the PC approach currently used to screen passengers is a farce and should be abandoned. I do like the Israeli approach and profiling in my world is not a dirty word. At the end of the day, passengers are subject to searches. Butt naked if necessary. Rent “United 93” from Netflix in case you’ve forgotten what happened on 9/11.