The Formula
By Mitch Berg
While I watch very little TV, I’ve become mildly interested in the endless, dare I say “cookiecutter”, bunch of Bravo “reality” shows – Project Runway, Top Chef, that hair salon show whose name eludes me, and the like – that involve taking a group of people in a very competitive, haute kind of craft career and winnowing them down, a la Survivor, to a championship over the course of a couple of months.
The shows all have the same kind of formula; hosted by an otherworldly-hot woman (Heidi Klum, Padma Lakshmi) assisted by a lovable-in-an-irritating-a***ole-kind-of-way guy (Tim Gunn, Tom Colicchio), with a series of guest judges and tons and tons of product placement, yadda yadda.
But the key part of the formula; the shows all focus toward the “Final Three” or the “Final Four”, on the last episode or two. And that final group, in all of these Bravo “reality” shows, always consists of:
- The blazingly talented, usually gay, guy
- The improbably hot, very talented woman
- The highly-talented a***ole.
The prototype, of course, was Season 2 of Project Runway: after a few weeks, it became obvious that egregious a***ole Santino was being carried along, prevailing over many better designers even though he frequently deserved to be tossed; he made such a compelling a***ole and the show’s story arc (if not actual clothing design) benefitted from the chaos and drama he provided.
This week? It’s Top Chef. I figured I’d try to get the formula figured out bright and early, but leave myself some wiggle room.
My predictions on week one:
Talented Guy: Tre (backup: Brian) (Sorry, guys – Dale, the loveable gay guy, is being kept around for a late-round sympathy toss)
Cute Talented Woman: Camille (the way hot Puerto Rican chef) (backup: Casey) (Although I rooted for Brooklyn’s Lia, she was just too girl-next-door from the very beginning).
Token übertalented A***hole: Howie, the New Yorker from Miami (backup: Hung, the gratingly-arrogant but incredibly talented Vietnamese guy)
So – as of the Final Six, all of my first choices are gone – all of my backups are in the running.
Sort of like my system for betting horses, now that I think about it…
September 7th, 2007 at 7:36 am
Too bad — I liked Howie. When someone criticized him for being unable to cook a dish without using pork, I stopped caring about how pretty Casey is. Howie is the go-to guy for the right kind of meat: Pork. Pork, pork, pork, I like pork, yes.
September 7th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Howie took himself way too seriously. Lighten up dude.
By the way, that was soooo weak the way the judges claimed that Howie couldn’t quit, THEY had to make the decision and then took the easy way out and chose him anyway. Very lame.
September 7th, 2007 at 8:49 am
Dave in Pgh said: “Pork. Pork, pork, pork, I like pork, yes.”
Just don’t get caught saying that in the mens’ room at MSP.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:04 am
How long can the super-hottie Casey last? She’s been on the chopping block damn-near every week. And wouldn’t a few more hottub pics of Casey be a ratings booster?!?!?
September 7th, 2007 at 9:22 am
How long can the super-hottie Casey last? She’s been on the chopping block damn-near every week.
Kind of like Santino on season 2 of Runway; spotty production, frequently on the chopping block, but…
And wouldn’t a few more hottub pics of Casey be a ratings booster?!?!?
…well, yeah. Gotta do something to keep us straight guys tuning in.
And tune in I shall.
September 7th, 2007 at 9:26 am
Top Chef Season Three most pathetic moment: Joey gets the ax and blubbers like a baby. What a pussy.
September 7th, 2007 at 10:39 am
I liked Howie. When someone criticized him for being unable to cook a dish without using pork, I stopped caring about how pretty Casey is.
Oh, I think we can all get along.
Oh, wait – you’re thinking about the food.
Wow. I’d never really considered that perspective.
September 7th, 2007 at 11:21 am
Yeah.
Although I nearly cried the same way when they sent Camille packing.
And Lia, too…
September 7th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Casey’s gotta go. i thing Hung should probably win, but i’ve got this bad feeling it’ll come down to Brian and Sara, the two middle-grounders.
September 7th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Yeah, you’d think she would…
…but it’s about the Formula!
I bet Casey gets to the finals (but I wouldn’t bet against Sara, either).
In fact, I’ll say this; the Final Four is Hung, Brian, Casey and Sara.
September 13th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
[…] Remember – as I noted last week, these Bravo reality competition shows have a formula; by the final round (in TC’s case, a Final Four), they will always have: […]
October 24th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
[…] I’m talking, of course, about my theory from the past two seasons of Top Chef and Project Runway [*] – that the “final three” will always be: […]