Theory In Trouble

When there’s a groundswell of opinion favoring a hypothesis, it’s important for the genuine empiricist to take a step back and try to separate wishful thinking, emotion and politics from actual empirical fact.

I’m talking, of course, about my theory from the past two seasons of Top Chef and Project Runway [*] – that the “final three” will always be:

  • The hyper-talented super-arrogant jerk
  • The cute chick
  • The very talented gay guy

…and occasionally the “Comic Relief” guy.  The past two seasons of both shows followed this formula pretty much to a “T”.

So this season of Top Chef is vexing.  It’s been tough predicting from the very beginning, partly because…

  • …there were so many arrogant jerks, along with…
  • …relatively few conventionally “cute chicks”; where last year we had the Top Model-caliber Camille and eventual finalist Casey (plus Lea), this season is…well, unconventional…
  • …Not so many  talented guys who scream “gay gay gay gay”, but a bumper crop of lesbians.

As far as “cute chicks” go, Valerie seemed a contender – but she tanked in episode two.  I’d figured Nikki and Zoi were possible contenders by a stretchy definition of “cute chick”, but they couldn’t stretch their cheffing far enough; both are toast (albeit impeccably seasoned toast).  Antonia seems to be the last potential candidate standing in this category – although we’re not getting a lot of poolside, out-of-competition-hours shots this season.

As to the gay guy slot – my money says Bravo’s gonna switch it up with a gay girl; Lisa seems to have some of that mojo (although she’s just a tad too prickly; we’ll see).

The jerk slot seemed to be the tough one; it always seemed to be a fight between Dale and Andrew.  But with Andrew gone, Dale just doesn’t seem to be either talented enough or enough of an ass to make the cut.

So I’m flummoxed, at least as far as my theory goes.

But what the heck; I think the final three, at this point, are going to be

  1. Dale.  Gotta have the jerk, or the competition just isn’t personal enough.
  2. Antonia.  Or Stephanie.  Steph’s won two elimination challenges (to Antonia’s 1), but Antonia seems to have the big mo, plus having her in the top three would salvage my theory.
  3. Richard, who seems to be the hyper-talented guy (and is my pick to win it all; he just seems to be too talented to ignore).

I figured Spike for the “comic relief” role, but after last episode, I can see him getting ejected, too.
[*] And probably Shear Genius, Workout, Step It Up And Dance, Make Me A Supermodel and for all I know Ice Road Truckers, but I never watch any of them.

5 thoughts on “Theory In Trouble

  1. I, too, was sorely vexed due to the absence of a quality babe to distract me from the culinary monstrosities of the competitors. Fortunately Padma maintains her beauty, along with her grace and charm, enough that I may comfortably view the program and not be repulsed by the monstrous demeanor of the young masters of their art.

  2. Well, let’s not go overboard. Valerie was a “quality babe”, I thought. And while Antonia isn’t a conventional babe in the “Casey” sense of the term, I think she qualifies.

    Also, she can cook.

  3. I may comfortably view the program and not be repulsed by the monstrous demeanor of the young masters of their art.

    Heh. They must trawl the nation looking for some of the most socially-inept, hyperbolic chefs they can find. Andrew? Dale? Hung? They remind me of concertmaster violinists or FM Top40 program directors; guys who got to be the master of their craft by spending the time that most people use to learn social skills on practicing their crafts.

  4. Valerie was a “quality babe”

    And, alas, now absent. I will grant you that Antonia is attractive, but Casey Thompson looked good even in uniform. There is something about chef’s gear that leeches the beauty out of a woman.

    It is poetic justice that Casey came out of the competition a bigger celebrity than Hung, I think.

  5. It is poetic justice that Casey came out of the competition a bigger celebrity than Hung, I think.

    Poetic, and predictable. Hung was an awesome chef (I figured he’d win along about week five), but Casey has “media personality” written all over her. And that’s what it’s about!

    I think Antonia might have a little of that; I think the camera likes her.

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