Rules Is Rules
By Mitch Berg
Kevin Ecker went a rule-enactment jag that’d make Phyllis Kahn titter with glee.
Although Ecker’s rules make sense.
I liked this one…:
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.
Hooo, yeah.
August 13th, 2007 at 11:21 am
Angryclown endorses all these rules. Particularly the bathroom attendant ban.
A corollary to the Starbux rule: Angryclown refuses to adopt a new language to order coffee. Big one’s “large”, little one’s “small” and the one in the middle is “medium.” And if Angryclown wanted caramel, he’d go to Dairy Queen.
August 13th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Phylis Kahn? Did someone say Phylis Kahn?
If the special session becomes a spending orgy, like Phylis would like, then I say lets give DeLaSalle money for a MEGA STADIUM ! Its for the children!
August 13th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Complete agreement on all points.
Especially…
if Angryclown wanted caramel, he’d go to Dairy Queen.
Oy. No kidding. The thought of caramel and coffee makes me nauseous.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I say lets give DeLaSalle money for a MEGA STADIUM ! Its for the children!
I think if Twin Cities’ conservatives would take up a collection, we could at least upgrade De La Salle’s stadium PA system to a hundred thousand watts.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
The bathroom attendant, while a little unnerving, is there to keep the likes of AC from messing up the place.
However, AC’s right about the sizes in coffee shops. I went in to Starbucks with some friends once and ordered a lousy cup of coffee… just a small. Of course, they don’t have small sizes. The cup size farthest from the largest was refered to as a Regular. When I asked for a small cup of coffee the employee wanted to get into semantics.
Just because you don’t label it Small, doesn’t mean you don’t have a small cup of coffee. Now, Starbuck’s employee… go get your shinebox.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
“The bathroom attendant, while a little unnerving, is there to keep the likes of AC from messing up the place.”
Also keeps Badda from going back on welfare. I bet “Take Your Daughter To Work Day” can be a little awkward, eh Baddabing?
August 13th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
It’s true – people’s mental faculties deteriorate over time. Mine obviously are: I just found AC’s last comment funny.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:48 pm
I also agree with all these rules.
A corollary to the eyebrow rule, or perhaps a new one: Any woman that has large amounts of gray hair should not attempt to color it fire-engine red.
I think of that as the female version of the comb-over…blindingly obvious and so unnatural…and becomes worse when the gray roots start growing out.
August 13th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
As far as ording coffee in a new language, I agree with AC. Wait, let me look outside…………………………………………the sky is blue, the grass is green. I must not be in some sort of alternate universe. Maybe AC has been switched out.
August 13th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
AC, you forget… I’m the guy paying your check. Get back to the stalls, pally… and if you keep up the good work you’ll get a brush.
August 14th, 2007 at 7:04 am
See Baddabing, your premise was that an unruly Angryclown made the presence of bathroom attendants neccessary. Angryclown one-upped you by making you the attendant. Check, checkmate. It’s nice to see you attempt the joke you would have made in the first place if you were a little less slow-witted. But you’re going to have to score that one as a loss, ‘kay Chachi?