The Answers To Life’s Persistent Federally-Supported Scolds
By Mitch Berg
In a sense, I owe Garrison Keillor a debt of gratitude. It was my serial fiskings of his sniffing, haughty, holier-than-thou poison pen attack on Norm Coleman and his supporters (here and here) back in 2002 that drew the attention of the likes of Instapundit, and put this blog on the map, way back when.
But, like fisking Nick Coleman and pointing out that Lori Sturdevant is a DFL flak, it gets first repetitive, and then just a bit depressing.
Which is why I’m so happy Jeff Kouba stepped up to gut-punch Keillor’s latest exercise in sniffing self-adoration:
In true form, it didn’t take this Cynicism badge holder long to get around to mentioning the Current Occupant. He can twist anything to use as club with which to beat President Bush, even the already twisted steel girders of a fallen bridge. No human tragedy is so awful it can’t be used to sneer at one’s political opponents.
The Current Occupant came to view the wreckage and to express, in that intense and aimless way of his, his hopes for a better life for us. And then, having raised our hopes, he did not resign from office after all.
Sigh. I’m sure the grieving families of those lost in the collapse will find a few moments of comfort in the snarks written at the dead’s expense. Sometimes I think Keillor’s jawbone could slay a thousand Philistines.
Your tax dollars at work, as they say.
August 13th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Before I read the angry white male’s column, I make a prediction which paragraph he will first use “Current Occupant” in the column.
So, next Sunday, make a prediction of how deep GK goes into a column before he uses the term “Current Occupant”.
Just another fun game you can play while reading the Opinion Exchange in the Sunday Star Tribune!
August 13th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
There’s something unnerving about a man that uses “folksy” language and is at the same time so pukin’ elitist.
August 13th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Before I read the angry white male’s column, I make a prediction which paragraph he will first use “Current Occupant” in the column.
Heh, me too. Which is the only reason I read the column enough to rant about it. (And thanks for the href, mb.)
August 13th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
See Scary Colleen, it turns out elitism isn’t all that bad. You actually have to be a little above average to win a war in Iraq or deliver supplies to New Orleans. God forbid the president of the United States should be accused of being any smarter than any midwestern yahoo. But you go ahead and vote for Mike Huckabee or Larry the Cable Guy or whoever seems like “jes’ folks” to you. The Dems will have to settle a smart, Harvard- or Yale-educated lawyer.
August 13th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
God forbid the president of the United States should be accused of being any smarter than any midwestern yahoo.
Dumbest person I ever met: a preppy chick in Central Park:
PREP: “So where are you from?”
Me: “North Dakota”
PREP: “Um, what state is that in?”
The Dems will have to settle a smart, Harvard- or Yale-educated lawyer.
Oh, here’s hoping!
August 13th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
So you’re still going with the cross-dresser who married his cousin?
August 13th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
So you’re still going with the cross-dresser who married his cousin?
You mean the federal prosecutor who kicked the Mafia’s ass and made New York a nicer place than Karachi?
Not sure yet.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Oh come now, AC, you remember NY before you-know-who showed up. Times Square, for instance: a place where you kept one hand on your wallet while the other shooed away live-sex-show-hawking pamphleteers.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Karachi? Hell, Rudy made New York safer than a walk in Bagdad!
Enemy combatants sure knew not to get on the wrong end of a plunger in Rudy’s day.
Rudy didn’t need no fancy pants Ivy law degree to know that you don’t tell the world whether or not you’re gonna go after Bin Laden.
Talk tall and carry a vague stick.
/jc
August 13th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Hell, Rudy made New York safer than a walk in Bagdad!
Well, for 2189 of the last 2190 days, anyway.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Enemy combatants sure knew not to get on the wrong end of a plunger in Rudy’s day
But enough about Princeton initiation rites.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
>Enemy combatants sure knew not to get on the wrong end of a plunger in Rudy’s day
> But enough about Princeton initiation rites.
At least it ain’t Hahvahd or Yale.
Gonna tattoo a tiger on their islamofascist asses!
/jc
August 13th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
What were John Kerry’s grades like in Yale? Compared to GWB?
Oh yeah, clownie and the libs don’t want to remember THAT little item.
August 13th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
FDR was a cross dresser? Anyway, I thought he was dead. Plus I think the 22nd amendment restricts him from a 5th term. But I could be wrong. The things you learn from a clown.
August 13th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Sorry to burst your stereotype bubble ac, but I decided looong ago that Giuliani was my choice. You’d be surprised (I guess) at how many fundamentalist Christians say the same thing.
August 13th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
“Gonna tattoo a tiger on their islamofascist asses!”
So, how is basic training going?
August 14th, 2007 at 6:55 am
That bursts no bubbles, Scary Colleen. It merely confirms my suspicion that you’re more of an authoritarian personality type than a God-botherer. I know Kermit’s afraid some terrorist (presumably one with very low self-esteem) will take out the IDS Center. I’m guessing you have a similar fear they’ll attack the showcase 3-story feedstore in your neck of Minnesota?
August 15th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
The Corp for Public Broadcasting gave $30.5M for public programming nationwide in 2005; 10 cents a citizen. Minnesota Public Radio received $1.85M of that. Mitch, you paid 0.6 cents to fund MPR that year. Since PHC is the most popular show and syndicated to 500 stations, it is probably a revenue generator and none of that annual penny goes directly to PHC or GK- although you can argue the whole public radio thing would not have got off the ground without the 1967 CPB Act. But even w/o public radio, you would probably be exposed to GK’s writing. Right now you may actually be voluntarily paying up to a nickel annually to get incensed at his writing (and be able to conflate it with public radio). A good deal!