Archive for the 'A ‘n E' Category

Revolution On Eternal Repeat

Monday, August 27th, 2012

I’ve been a huge Dinesh D’Souza fan since I read his Reagan: How An Ordinary Man Became An Extraordinary President over a decade ago; it may have been the best Reagan bio ever.

And I got a chance to see 2016 over the weekend.  It didn’t disappoint:

The movie’s thesis is…

(Spoiler Alert: I’m going to talk spoilers below the jump, although to be fair I think much of what’s in the movie has been in the public domain; this is just the first high-profile place I’ve seen it all collected into one coherent thesis)

(more…)

Reality TV Bites

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

I try not to watch a lot of TV.  I’ve got other things to do.

But I’ll cop to it; I’ve whiled away the odd idle hour watching a few things on TV.

And while nobody asked me, I’ve got a few observations.

  • Operation Repo:  I’ve known for a while that the show was scripted, and not remotely “reality”.  But the latest round of plot lines make me wonder if they’re not hoping to be picked up by Lifetime TV.
  • Hard Core Pawn: I don’t think I saw more than an episode or two of “Pawn Stars”, the grandaddy of the “how much is all this crap worth?” genre.  It never really grabbed me much.  But I like the Detroit-based “HCP”, if only because, scripted or not (and it’s just gotta be scripted), I can so totally relate to Les Gold’s quiet slow burn with his endlessly-feuding children.  It’s given me the
  • Hotel Hell:  If you were waiting for a kinder, gentler Gordon Ramsey, Hotel Hell is the show for you.  I, however, was not waiting for that Chef Ramsey.
  • Top Shots:  Not even sure if the show is on the air anymore.  But watching it, I noticed first that the plot, format and pacing were exactly the same as Project Runway, only with marksmanship instead of fashion.  Then I noticed the used exactly the same incidental music  – between segments, to foreshadow things, everythingIt is, from a production standpoint, literally Project Runway with guns!
  • Master Chef: Master Chef covers the waterfront, from the sublime to the ridiculous.  Ridiculous: the spectacle of the two non-Ramsey judges (Hector Alizondo Joe Bastianich and Flounder from Animal House Graham Elliot) audibly wincing as they sing the praises of Wal-Mart steak, apparently prodded by a rolled up and sharpened wad of product-placement checks.   On the sublime upside, Becky Reams is the new Casey Thompson.
  • LIzard Lick Towing: On the one hand, coming up with new “home-spun” lines for Ronnie Shirley (“that lady was greasier than an undercooked burger in a fat guy’s underwear on a hot day”) has got to be keeping some good writers in work.  On the other hand, I give Amy Shirley another season of bodybuilding before she turns into Skeletor.
  • Combat Pawn:  They’ve done the impossible: taken one of my favorite subjects (firearms) and a reality-TV subject I”m slowly warming up to (pawn shop dramedy) and added excruciating tedium!

That shoudl do it for now.

The Keyser Söze Of Movies

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

The rumor’s been bouncing around for the better part of a decade; “someone’s doing a remake of Red Dawn“.

And some people seem almost surprised that it’s supposed to be awful:

North Korean paratroopers descend on an American small town. U.S. military resistance collapses. Korean armored vehicles roll down the streets unopposed except for a band of heavily armed bros in hoodies.

No, these are not images from some teenage gamer’s fever dream. They’re scenes from the movie Red Dawn, a remake of the 1984 cult classic about a joint Cuban-Soviet invasion of the U.S. and the attractive young American insurgents — the Wolverines — who help defeat it. The revamped Red Dawn, starring Chris Hemsworth, a.k.a. Thor, blasts into theaters in November.

But don’t expect it to linger very long.

Well, no kidding.  The world’s changed a bit since 1984; on the one hand, we simultaneously have little fear of nuclear armageddon, even as the idea of being attacked on our soil is no longer novel.

But the article, in Wired, does hit on one key point.  We’ll come back to it.

Where the 1984 original successfully played upon widespread public fears over a supposedly rising and belligerent Soviet Union, the remake expects viewers to take North Korea seriously as an existential threat.

It’s a stretch.  Although let’s be clear; the Soviet Union wasn’t “supposedly” belligerent in 1984.  They made a pretty good show of it.   In much the same way as Putin does today, only with thousands of missiles and tanks and hundreds of submarines and lots and lots of soldiers, and no, I’m not going to get into an argument about whether the Soviets were or were not a threat, since history and Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, JP Deuce and Lech Wałęsa already settled that for us.

We’re guessing the flick is going to get a lot of unintended laughs.

You see, the actual North Korea is a country of 24 million people with a GDP roughly equal to North Dakota’s. It’s an impoverished, even starving, prison state that lacks modern weaponry and any ability to deploy forces globally.

Which, if you think about it, is kinda like the USSR in a lot of ways.  And yes, I know, the remake sounds dumb…

…which shouldn’t obscure the fact that the original was dumb too.

How dumb?  I’m Norwegian and Scottish; I squeeze 15 cents out of a dime.  And I never go to movies I think I’m going to walk out of.  And I darn near walked out of Red Dawn the first time I saw it.  It was the scene where the “student council president” tries to call for a vote over going back to town after the invasion; my “dumb” meter pegged so hard it bent the needle.  I had my butt up out of the seat…

…but stayed.  Partly because in those days, I didn’t waste $3 lightly.

Partly because while the story didn’t get a whole lot better, it got a whole lot more fun.  Dumb, escapist, adrenaline-pumping fun.

And in an age where “video games” were geometric shapes that floated on black screens and beeped and borked and shot little pips of electrons at other geometric shapes, Red Dawn was an “immersive experience” that went ever-so-slightly beyond “escapist” to “fantastic”, with the emphasis on “fantas”.  Once I turned my English major’s critique-o-matic off, and just started enjoying it for what it was – a movie about a bunch of guys in the woods with machine guns blasting bad guys and saving the free world and rescuing Jennifer Gray and knocking off a little Lea Thompson in the bargain – I settled down in my seat and took my jacket back off.

Now that kids can immerse themselves in games that serve as stories much more involving and immersive, I can’t imagine hordes of twentysomethings doing the same thing these days.  Not without Robert Pattinson in it.

Indeed, a movie about the making of the remake sounds like it’d make a better movie:

The new Red Dawn has been sitting on the shelf for a couple years owing to financing troubles and at least one major revamp by screenwriters Carl Elsworth and Jeremy Passmore. As originally written, the relaunched Red Dawn was only slightly less silly. The bad guys were Chinese. And while China has no discernible intention of invading anyone [tell that to the Taiwanese – Ed.], much less the U.S., Beijing at least commands a $7.3-trillion economy and an increasingly modern, two-million-man army. But it’s bad business to portray one of the world’s fastest growing film markets as brutal world conquerors, so the producers swapped in North Korea, a country no one counts on for ticket sales.

And given how Hollywood supports Obama, it’d be bad politics to piss off the one country that can still pay for all his plans.

It’d Explain The Costumes…

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Joe Doakes from Como Park writes about DC Comics’ move to create a gay superhero:

I wonder if they’ll make his partner a side-kick named Lavender Lantern?

This is either a brilliant move- targeting comics for all the gay guys who collect baseball cards and action figurines and read comic books – and will earn them billions of dollars in new sales;

Or it’s the dumbest idea since New Coke.

I will wager a brand-new nickel that Gay Green Lantern is killed off by Evil Straight Religious Wacko White Guy before January 1, 2014. Takers?

Joe Doakes

Como Park

Never, ever, EVER any action on a bet like that.

Art Of Valor

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

I went with the Morrisseys to see “Act Of Valor” last Saturday.  You’ve probably heard about it; it’s the movie ostensibly about Navy SEALs starring, well, Navy SEALs.

The film’s gotten mixed reviews from the usual film-critic suspects.  Some point to the quality of the acting (while there are a few C-list actors playing terrorists, CIA agents and government officials, everyone in a US uniform is a serviceperson, mostly active-duty SEALs); others say that the script swerves from simplistic to outright jingo; some call it a “recruiting film”.

But it’s gone over gangbusters with the critics that really matter, the audience; it crushed the (admittedly lackluster) competition to be the top-grossing movie  in the country in its first weekend out, the weekend before last.

I don’t go to a lot of movies – the last two I saw in a theatre during their first runs were True Grit and, before that, Gran Torino.  But I figured it was worth a quick review.

First, A Minor Quibble:  There are few things I find as tedious as people who pick over otherwise-watchable movies looking for continuity errors.  There are entire sites devoted to the practice – and beyond the few really obvious howlers, the practice bores me stiff.

That said, there was one error that stuck in my craw – and maybe mine alone, among people who were not in the Navy.  After the initial raid into Costa Rica (I won’t give any spoilers), the “LT” – the commander of the SEAL platoon that stars in the movie – is standing on the deck of the USS Bonhomme Richard, an “Amphibious Assault Ship” built to carry Marines and their helicopters (and the odd Harrier jump jet) to wherever they need to attack.  It looks like an aircraft carrier – and it literally is, in that it carries aircraft, in the form of helicopters and vertical take-off aircraft.

But in the scene after the raid, the “LT” is standing on the deck, talking with his wife on a satellite phone; he has to wait while an airplane (an S3 Viking antisubmarine patrol plane) gets shot off the deck by a steam catapult; think the opening sequences in Top Gun.  The scene ends with a long-shot of the Richard, its deck covered in choppers, and not a fixed-wing plane in sight – because the ship has no catapult to launch big fixed-wing planes.

It’s a minor quibble – but we North Dakotans are a seafaring race, and we take our ships seriously.

Next, A Major And Overlooked Spiff:  The cinematography is amazing.  Many have written about the  helmet-cam perspective shots during the firefights, so I expected heart-pounding, heavy-breathing first-person point of view shots.

But the rest of the movie is visually stunning on many levels.  The direction of action shots above and beyond the firefights is amazing; a scene where someone is being rolled into a carpet is not only edited with a blurry crispness that conveys the blurry confusion of the moment, but includes a shot from a rolling camera to complete the disorientation

The just-plain-cinematography – from the visual feasts of the Costa Rican jungle or the streets in the Philippines to the claustrophobic-yet-panoramic night fight scenes – was excellent, and often stunning.  If it weren’t for all the suicide bombs and exploding heads, parts of the movie could be shot for “Planet Earth”.

And visually speaking, it all comes together in one scene, where a bunch of drug-cartel sicarios who’ve been chasing the SEALS through the jungle wind up on the business end of a couple of boat-mounted miniguns during an incredibly adrenaline-blast exfiltration scene.  Between the cinematography, the film and sound editing and the direction, it’s an incredible visual of the mayhem on the business end of all that firepower; it’s an amazing bit of visual art, and I don’t mean that from an “America F**k Yeah!” or a “firepower pr0n” perspective.  Realistic?  I don’t know, I’ve never seen three miniguns hit a pickup truck.  Visually overpowering?  You bet.

The Acting: I’d heard all the stories, pro and con, about the movie’s “stars”, the SEALs (all credited pseudonymously, none of whom appear on the movie’s IMDB page) and their acting chops.

I’ve got three answers.

First – the goal of great acting is to make you forget you’re watching a performance.   Did the SEALs make me forget?  Yes and no.  There were scenes – mostly when the SEALs are off-duty and waxing colloquial – when you’re acutely aware that they’re saying lines from a script.  A few scenes play like high school theatre.  Not bad high school theatre, mind you – it takes a decent director to get things as close as they are.  I drove home thinking “if the movie were an indy film at Sundance about barristas in Seattle confronting their sexual confusion at an “Occupy” protest, starring real barristas, it’d be hailed as fearless and daring cinema”.

But – secondly, and perhaps obviously? – it was the scenes involving the SEALs plying their craft, doing the sort of things that in real life would send the most grizzled Hollywood stunt veteran running to his union to file a work rules grievance, that most made you forget you were watching a performance because, really, you weren’t.  The battle scenes, shot with a buzzy combination of traditional shots and rattly helmet-cam footage and edited to a modern sheen, tightly-edited enough to make Paris Hilton and Rosanne Barr look kinetic?  Sure, of course.

But if you’ve spent your life watching Hollywood action-adventure and war movies, with their somersaults and John Woo gun grips and all the other cliches that have grown up around the genre, one thing that impresses about the SEALs in the battle scenes is the extreme economy of their action.  There’s none of the dashing and Jackie-Chan-like somersaulting and pseudo-ninja buncombe of so many Hollywood movies on the subject;  my impression wasn’t so much “this is accurate” as “this looks real”.  There’s a difference.

The third bit about the acting is related.  There’s an interrogation scene – I won’t spoil it – starring the “Senior Chief”, the intelligence analyst of the platoon, an older SEAL (late forties, I’d guess) who has settled into middle age in the same way a rattlesnake settles into a cave; of the entire SEAL platoon, he, whoever he is, radiates the most effortless menace, with his grandfatherly (or Taliban-impersonating-ly) beard and his arklahoma accent and sense that he’s not trying to radiate anything.  He interrogates a suspect – again, no spoilers.  I joked with Ed afterward that the scene played like a community theatre production of 24.  I meant it as a compliment; as the Senior Chief drawls through his lines, there was also the acute sense that he wasn’t performing; that he knew the psychology behind what he was doing at a level that goes way deeper than Stanislavsky could ever teach.  He said his lines plenty capably; but he lived the role.  And while the scene took  some dramatic license – it took about five minutes, rather than the days or months it would have taken in real life – it was very, very effective.

Jingo – There are those – mostly on the left in Hollywood – who deride the movie as a “Navy recruiting film”.   There’s something to that; the closing credits are very, very long on people with ranks and billets in various Navy Public Affairs offices.  And Tom Clancy gets a producer-level credit.  Still, Obama-supporting Hollywood shouldn’t complain; since the President has both based his strategy on having lots of SEALs and other special operations forces while simultaneously cutting the regular militaries from whence those troops come, they’d best hope it works.

Beyond that, though?  As imperfect and occasionally mawkish as the film may seem to the jaded film fan’s eyes, it’s not Top Gun, or Rambo, much less Charlie Sheen’s Navy Seals.  There is a resemblance to Band of Brothers or Saving Private Ryan; all of them pay homage in their own way to a “greatest generation”.  The closing crawl broadly refers to all manner of those who risk all for others, and for all the rest of us – everyone from firemen to fighter pilots to lifeguards.

But I thought – what’s the perfect film analog?  And in thinking of the movie’s “narration” – by “The Chief”, a real-life chief petty officer who is the platoon’s second in command – it occurred to me. not since John Wayne’s The Green Berets has there been a movie that unequivocally held up the “Warrior Ethos” – duty, honor, sacrifice for a greater good – as unironically good things.

And even that wasn’t quite right.

The narration is the bookend for the movie – and to a life-long civilian, it almost sounds like something from a cartoon, at first.  “My father told me the worst part of getting old was that people stopped seeing you as dangerous”, it starts.  But as it dissolves into the movie’s opening scenes, and then wraps back in at the end, as a paeon not to “appearing dangerous” – which is, itself, counterintuitive to most people today – but to the even more counterintuitive-to-our-culture notion of an almost-monastic dedication to something the rest of the culture considers distasteful, foreign, or just something for others to do, whether that something is going into burning buildings, repairing people in inner-city emergency rooms, or going where the bad guys are and killing them quickly and violently.

And then I figured out why it was so hard to find a movie since the mid-sixties that so unironically exalted that way of life; because there really hasn’t been one.

All Things Amended

Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Joe Doakes from Como Park writes:

Remember 4 years ago, when the Minnesota Constitution was amended to provide dedicated funding for clean water and stuff?

Guess who gets that funding?

From their website:

“Minnesota Public Radio is the state’s largest cultural organization.”

Well, if “Liberal” is a culture, that’s certainly true. Do we need to spend tax dollars to preserve Liberalism? Isn’t it doing well enough on its own?

Joe Doakes

Como Park

No, MPR’s certainly got their hooks into the regional money system.

I’m just remembering all the articles this past week from learned “progressive”-leaning political scientists who said “government by amendment isn’t governing”, and wondering where they all were four years ago?

Programming Note

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

To: TruTV
From: Mitch Berg, Very Irregular Watcher
Re: Evening Programming

Dear TruTV Programming execs,

More “Smoking Gun Presents “World’s Dumbest…””.

Less “Lizard Lick Towing”.

That is all.

Mitch Berg

 

Couldn’t See This Coming…

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Meryl Streep’s portrayal of Margaret Thatcher is raising eyebrows in all the wrong ways:

The Iron Lady, a new biopic starring Meryl Streep as Baroness Thatcher, has drawn an angry response from friends over its portrayal of the former prime minister as a lonely figure sliding into dementia.

In the opening scenes, a frail Lady Thatcher is seen shuffling into a corner shop to buy a pint of milk and expressing shock at 21st-century prices.

Back at her Belgravia home, her security team fret that she has left the house unsupervised.

Another scene shows her oblivious to the fact that her husband, Sir Denis, is dead. She imagines him to be in the room and conducts conversations with him, before revisiting her glory years in a series of flashbacks.

The article goes on to note that Thatcher is portrayed as being a strong leader in re the Falkllands, the coal miner’s strike, and so on.

But it’s sorta fleshing out my theory that the only way the liberal media – and Hollywood is a part, maybe the biggest part, of that media – can portray conservatives is as either caricatures (see every “conservative” that’s turned up on Law and Order for the past 15 years), effective leaders with dark sides that counterbalance or negate it all (see the TV “Reagan” biopic a few years back) or jokes.

Heh

Friday, November 11th, 2011

 

Monday, September 12th, 2011

Prescription: Cancel It!

Monday, September 12th, 2011

Pediatric psychologists show that I’ve suspected all along; “Spongebog Squarepants” will kill them.

No.  It won’t But it makes them into spazzes:

In a randomized, controlled study, psychologists from the University of Virginia in the US tested 4-year-olds just after they watched nine minutes of television shows or sat drawing for nine minutes. The children watched two types of show: SpongeBob Squarepants a fast-paced cartoon fantasy show, and Caillou, a slower-paced, more realistic public television educational cartoon about a pre-school boy.

Upshot: While the kids who watched “Caillou” thought Al Franken was just dreamy, the “Spongebob” sample smoked crack and hit each other with bowling balls.

No, I’ve always hated that stupid show.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they tied it to terrorism.

A Poem

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

“There once was a Congressman named Wiener,
Who possessed a perverted demeanor.
He got kicked off the Hill
For acting like Bill,
Now D.C. is one wiener leaner.”

— forwarded by Joey Gerdin

“Who Will Be The American Idol?”

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011

For the ninth straight season, I don’t care.

Cultural Illiteracy

Monday, May 16th, 2011

I have a hunch this happens more often than I’d like to believe…

(More here).

Foxed Up

Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

Fox cancels Lie to Me.

Grrr.

Comforting The Comfortable

Friday, May 6th, 2011

Let’s be clear, here:  “Public Art” is to art what “public restroom” is to rest.  I’m at a loss to think of any publicly-supported “art” that advances “art” in any way.  It could exist – my art trivia-fu isn’t the same as my music-fu – but it’s not leaping to mind.

I think public subsidy of art is a bad thing, both as government fiscal management and as art.

So when the idea of the “Legacy” amendment – diverting part of a one percent sales tax to the arts as well as natural resources – came up, I was skeptical.

But I thought “as long as the money goes to art education, it’d be the lesser of the possible evils”.  Art education is sorely neglected in our society; having some appreciation for art in its many forms is one of the things that adds depth and color to life, and it doesn’t matter if that art is a trip through the Minnesota Museum of Art or a little music or the occasional play (from the Ordway to some waaaaay-off-Nicollet startup house) to a good book.  Music – along with foreign languages – was one of the few things that kept me engaged with the idea of “education” at all during those miserable years from seventh through tenth grades; I’m hardly alone.

So if you have to spend money on “arts”, for the love of pete, spend it on bringing art in its various forms to schools and community centers and kids who, in our society, just don’t get exposed to much of it at all.

So how much could we have done for $45,000?

A Stillwater library paid that much in Legacy funds to bring in Sci-Fi author Neil Gaiman.   And Rep. Matt Dean was unhappy about it, and called Gaiman a “pencil-necked weasel”, which got Sci-fi nerds and GOP-haters all up with the victorian vapours:

(“Um, hullo? It’s “SF”, not “Sci Fy”.  Doy.  And don’t call me a “Trekkie”.  It’s Trekker, thank you very much”  There.  I wrote it so you don’t have to).

The feud between celebrity author Neil Gaiman and House Majority Leader Matt Dean took several bizarre twists Thursday, when lawmakers threatened retaliation against local libraries, Gaiman threatened retaliation against Dean, and the cast of characters expanded to include Snooki from MTV’s “Jersey Shore.”

Neil Gaiman, starving artist.

The action started when a House Republican committee chair said he is recommending a $45,000 cut in the Twin Cites’ regional library system budget to make up for the state Legacy money it paid last year to Gaiman for a speaking appearance.

Gaiman quickly defended his speaking fees, saying they are comparable to those charged by Snooki, the reality TV star.

And to be fair to Gaiman, if taxpayer money had gone to “Snooki”, I’d be even more irate.

“I won the Newbery Medal. I won the Carnegie Medal,” said Gaiman, who said he has 1.5 million Twitter followers. “I’ve written movies that were the Number 1 movie in the entire world.”

Well, that’s great.  Kudos.

You, Mr. Gaiman, are someone who has been rewarded bountifully for your talents.  I don’t begrudge a nickel of what you’ve earned…

from the private sector.

But can anyone say, honestly, that $45,000 expropriated from all of us working schlubs for “arts and culture” is better spent on allowing locals to bask in the presence of a millionaire sci-fi writer than on, say, buying rental band instruments for a high school music program?  For keeping an after-school art program open?  For anything else?

Dean, R-Dellwood, got things rolling Tuesday by calling Gaiman a “pencil-necked little weasel who stole $45,000 from the state of Minnesota,” has since apologized. He said Thursday he did not direct Rep. Dean Urdahl, R-Grove City, who chairs the House Legacy Funding Division committee, to trim $45,000 from the regional library system’s proposed budget.

Dean’ comments, however, underscored the ongoing concerns of the Republican majority about Legacy money being spent on arts and cultural projects as the Legislature struggles to solve a $5.1 billion budget deficit.

Concerns?

Try outrage.  As someone who supports the arts, I’m stupefied at the tone-deafness of the library’s action.

Although my inner cynic isn’t surprised (I’ll be adding some emphasis):

The Legacy amendment, passed in 2008 with considerable financial support from arts groups in Minnesota, raised the state sales tax for 25 years to fund outdoors, clean water, parks and trails and arts and cultural heritage projects.

And when Republicans point to things like…:

  • …the National Endowments for the Arts and the Humanities and their racket of funding arrogant avant-garde art while school arts programs go begging
  • …the millions in annual funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which enforces a rigid political agenda on its own governance…

…as evidence that the public art funding bureaucracy is out of control, and the arts and culture advocacy communities are fighting against a legislative majority committed to cutting government waste, really, it seems it’s more than just arts education that’s lacking.

Gaiman is a successful “artist”, and a pretty wealthy guy:

Gaiman, reached Thursday afternoon, said he found the entire episode “very weird” and said he could win court damages from Dean, the leading Republican in the Minnesota House, should he choose to do so.

“If I actually wanted to come after you, dude, I could,” Gaiman said of

[For what?  Defamation?  Buncombe.  Dean made no factual assertions; he stated an opinion.  The opinion isn’t going to harm Gaiman’s standing in his community or his livelihood; it’ll likely do quite the opposite.  And malice?  Gaiman must be a sci-fi writer – Ed]

Gaiman said he would not file a lawsuit, but was considering other options that would be “so much more fun than going legal.”

There’ll be a Klingon character named “Deangrfx” in his next book, I’ll bet.  Socially-maladjusted twentysomething computer geeks will titter with glee.  Life will go on.

Gaiman also maintained that he received $33,600 for the four-hour appearance — a booking agency received the remainder — and said other appearances, outside Minnesota, have paid him more than $60,000.

And if they were paid for with tax money, then we really need to talk.

Anyway, fine – Gaiman’s not a pencil-necked weasel.

He’s just an unconscionable waste of tax money.

How many writing programs, or art teachers, or after-school music programs, could we have supported for what we wasted on this narcissistic frippery?

Weekend Plans

Friday, April 29th, 2011

Christopher Cannon is a standup comic who’s been on Comedy Central, done some albums, works the circuit – the whole thing.

He’s also one of the few people alive who remember me when I was a liberal; we went to  high school together.

And he’s going to be hosting “Comics For Courage” – a benefit for the Wounded Warrior project – this coming Saturday night at the South St Paul VFW  (111 Concord Exchange S, South St Paul, MN).

It does in fact sound like a fun night out!

While Out And About This Weekend

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

Christopher Cannon is a standup comic who’s been on Comedy Central, done some albums, works the circuit – the whole thing.

He’s also one of the few people alive who remember me when I was a liberal; we went to  high school together.

And he’s going to be hosting “Comics For Courage” – a benefit for the Wounded Warrior project – this coming Saturday night at the South St Paul VFW  (111 Concord Exchange S, South St Paul, MN).

It does in fact sound like a fun night out!

This Messes Everything Up

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Now that I finally saw The Killing on AMC, I don’t think I can ever watch Law And Order or any other cop procedurals again…

No, I’m not being paid for the endorsement.   But it’d be cool if someone did.

When Out And About

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

If you are down and about the downtown Minneapolis gallery scene anytime soon, stop by Circa Gallery (210 North 1st Street) and see the current exhibition, by Barbara Gilhooly.

I was at the opening last Saturday.  So was “Briana”, whom I do not know, but who brought a much better camera than I did, and got a great series of photos of the whole exhibition.

Barb is, by the way, a high school classmate of mine.  And she’s been making a living as an artist pretty much the whole time.  Check it out.

And congrats, Barb!

RIP Elizabeth Taylor

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Elizabeth Taylor has reportedly passed away.

I don’t have much to write about her; tune in to Sheila O’Malley over the next few days, she’ll no doubt have a barn-burner of a post.  Or ten.

For my money, my favorite was her turn in Zeffirelli’s 1967 adaptation of Taming of the Shrew.

Itinerary

Friday, February 25th, 2011

February 2011: Shade your boss and his company, thereby euthanizing your cash cow..

April 2011: 22 nightly appearances on TMZ.

May, July and October, 2011: Serial hospital stays.  For “exhaustion”.

December, 2011: Check into Hazelden, Betty Ford, Headwinds, Kumbaya or a similar celebrehab factory.

Later That December, 2011: Check yourself out of celebrehab.

January-July, 2012: [Fill in salacious-yet-pathetic headlines of benders, hookers and arrests]

August, 2012Lindsay Lohan says she thinks  you’re going to destroy yourself.

October 2012: Spectacular bankruptcy filing.

November 2012: Another stint in celebrehab.

Not Nearly As Much Later In November 2012 As It Was In December of ’11: Check yourself out of celebrehab.

March 2012: Booked to appear on “Celebrity Apprentice”.

April, 2012:  Make headlines as you are fired from Celebrity Apprentice.

June 2012: Ink deal to make a pr0n movie. With Omarosa.

A Week Later In June 2012: Fired from pr0n movie with Omarosa.

December 2012: High on paint fumes and crack, you crash a stolen moped into a bus full of Japanese tourists driven by John Cryer.  TMZ dedicates a week of broadcasts to your life.

Ohio’s Cinderella Man

Friday, January 7th, 2011

By now you’ve seen the viral YouTube video and the media darling it made of Ted Williams.

But is this a true story of redemption or a soon-to-be cautionary tale?

Only time will tell. I’m rooting for him. This guy not so much.

What do you think?

Should The YouTube Guy with God’s Gift of a Voice Get a Second Chance?
Yes. This is how Mitch found Johnny Roosh
No. Columbus would have to find a new Community Organizer
What did you say? I was mesmerized by his sultry smooth articulations.
Check out that penmanship. Maybe he should try blogging instead.
Uh, don’t you mean 7th chance?
Did Bambi’s mother get a second chance?
Hey, if Dick Clark can do it…
Yes, but who will save the mime on 6th and Hennepin?
Where’s Oprah when you need her?
No, isn’t this is how we found Mark Dayton?
pollcode.com free polls

Oprah, You Funny

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

Oprah Winfrey, whose successful but vapid talk show has afforded her guru status on everything from personal advice, relationships, and book recommendations, insults Sarah Palin for essentially attempting the same thing, only in reverse.

Oprah Winfrey says America may “fall in love” with Sarah Palin as a TV star, but is dismissing the idea that the country would vote for the former Alaska governor in the future.

Asked in an interview with Parade magazine if the thought of Palin’s running for office scares her, Winfrey responded, “It does not scare me because I believe in the intelligence of the American public.”

Stop laughing everyone, I think she was serious.

Me too Oprah, if by “intelligence” you mean figuring out how to vote for opportunistic charlatans that give them something for nothing, vilifying the “haves” and victimizing the “have nots”. This coming from a woman who gives away cars on her show to a frothing herd of rabid groupies.

It’s difficult to imagine what could possibly “scare” anyone now as it relates to Presidential candidates as Her Candidate has certainly raised the bar on how much destruction one president can wage while simultaneously lowering it as it regards approval ratings.

If its okay with you, I’ll go with the fit, happily married, heavily armed hot chick over, well, Oprah, any day, thank you very much.

Multicultural Limerick

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

A would-be satirist named Alfonso,
who though having an impaired sense of meter, tried his hand at limericks.
Though he’d learned English in adulthood
and was slow in grasping the concept of “Rhyme” or “Rhythm” in this foreign language,
he chose an editor who was easily intimidated.

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