Itinerary
By Mitch Berg
February 2011: Shade your boss and his company, thereby euthanizing your cash cow..
April 2011: 22 nightly appearances on TMZ.
May, July and October, 2011: Serial hospital stays. For “exhaustion”.
December, 2011: Check into Hazelden, Betty Ford, Headwinds, Kumbaya or a similar celebrehab factory.
Later That December, 2011: Check yourself out of celebrehab.
January-July, 2012: [Fill in salacious-yet-pathetic headlines of benders, hookers and arrests]
August, 2012: Lindsay Lohan says she thinks you’re going to destroy yourself.
October 2012: Spectacular bankruptcy filing.
November 2012: Another stint in celebrehab.
Not Nearly As Much Later In November 2012 As It Was In December of ’11: Check yourself out of celebrehab.
March 2012: Booked to appear on “Celebrity Apprentice”.
April, 2012: Make headlines as you are fired from Celebrity Apprentice.
June 2012: Ink deal to make a pr0n movie. With Omarosa.
A Week Later In June 2012: Fired from pr0n movie with Omarosa.
December 2012: High on paint fumes and crack, you crash a stolen moped into a bus full of Japanese tourists driven by John Cryer. TMZ dedicates a week of broadcasts to your life.
February 25th, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Mark Dayton’s gonna be busy, apparently.
February 25th, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Charlie’s just another good liberal.
February 25th, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Next stop Governor of MN. Sponsored by A4BM.
Oops, should have gone to the links!
Almost seems like Mad Mark and Chowder Head Charlie were separated at birth. One striking difference between the two is that Charlie is spending money HE actually earned, where Mad Mark gets his from out-of-state trust funds, and kin.
February 25th, 2011 at 1:38 pm
See Phyllis Kahn comment on previous thread.
February 25th, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Mr. D. stole my thunder. It’s gotta be either Mark Dayton or Miley Cyrus.
February 25th, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Carlos Estevez? He’ll end up in a Scientology run rehab center in a converted 1960’s era motel in the panhandle of Florida!
February 25th, 2011 at 2:22 pm
And he’ll still be a 9/11 Truther! “Call me crazy, but when I saw those towers fall it looked like a controlled demolition.” – Charlie Sheen.
Rosie O’Donnell convinced him steel can’t possibly burn.
February 25th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Even the threat of spending any time with Rosie O’Donnell should be enough to get one to clean up their act. SCARED STRAIGHT!!!
February 25th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
No, Rosie convinced him that steel can’t possibly melt, which comes as a surprise to every steelworker, ironworker, foundry worker, and blacksmith who has ever lived. Exactly how all those steel beams and cars come about….must be by magic or something.
February 25th, 2011 at 3:17 pm
No one trusts Charlie and Rosie’s structural engineering knowledge? Jeez, they could rewrite that Popular Mechanics article on 9/11.
February 25th, 2011 at 5:53 pm
I’ll see your Charlie Sheen drug & porn 9-11 truther festival and raise you any given WorldNetDaily piece written by Victoria Jackson
February 25th, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Tim,
You’re bluffing, you’ve got the most obvious tells around — you post.
Call.
February 25th, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Victoria Jackson? Wow, hadn’t thought about her in years. I wonder what Jan Hooks is up to these days.
February 25th, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Tim,
Do you have an SEIU gig that pays to you post stupid off-topic drivel?
You’re earning your pay!
February 25th, 2011 at 8:04 pm
I see WND by Victoria Jackson and raise your the 42% of Dems that thought Bush was somehow involved in 9/11 Tim
http://hotair.com/archives/2007/09/06/zogby-poll-42-of-democrats-think-bush-caused-911-or-let-it-happen/
February 25th, 2011 at 8:21 pm
I’ll see Tim’s Victoria Jackson and raise him any member of the NYT editorial staff.