Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I “The First Team” – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed and I will be in next, from 1-3. I bet we’ll be talking Minnesota politics, among other things, with Barry Casselman…
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

We’ll have “encore presentations” of our favorite Northern Alliance broadcasts today. Tune in and relive the magic!

(This picture of the Vincent R. Casciano Memorial Bridge on the Jersey Turnpike between Newark and Bayonne, NJ is presented for no real reason, other than it subconsciously fitting the theme of the song from which I lifted this post’s title. )

(Although one might see it as foreshadowing.  “Foreshadowing what, Blogger Berg?”  Well, I’m nothing if not a man of mystery – but, like most big surprises I try to engineer, you may expect a big letdown on the off-chance that you imbue this hint with more significance than it deserves.) 

(Move along).

On behalf of John, Brian, Chad, Ed, King, Michael, Matt, Irina and Anna, I’d like to wish all of you a happy Thanksgiving weekend!

The media has convened in the press room at Shot In The Dark world HQ.

The reporters are taking their seats. The buzz of anticipation settles into a tense quiet as Mr. Berg steps to the podium.

Let’s join the questioning:

———-

Reporter A (Minnesota Public Radio): Mr. Berg? It’s been noted that you’ve achieved the one thing that was standing between you and the putative “big time” – you’ve actually gotten your own stalker. Would you care to comment on this? And I have a followup

Mitch Berg: Well, on the one hand, yes – it would seem that I do have a stalker. Actually, a stalker and a half – I’ve noticed the the “Lloydletta” blog names me something like 11 times in the past two weeks.

[Assembled reporters laugh politely, if uneasily]

But in fact, yes – it would seem that former porn-mag temp Ken “Avidor” Weiner has fallen into that role, using one of his twenty blogs and, apparently, his video camera and mad editing skeelz to draw the attention of his adoring public…

[more laughter]

…yes, adoring public to me. So – “good” news, I have a stalker. The bad news? He’s a piss-poor one!

Reporter A (Minnesota Public Radio): So to follow up – do you have any comment for the record?

Mitch Berg: Well, my good friend Joe Tucci – whom Mr. Weiner managed to “out” last week as the real name behind “Learned Foot”, and can I say “hey, great research skeelz, that took you almost exactly three years!’ – put it well, I think:

All Weiner knows how to do is steal off others’ websites, indulge his (erroneous) stereotypes and piddle his crap all over the internet (notice how I didn’t mention Photoshop) . Why does…

What the hell?

I feel like such a looser loser. Is this how stalkers feel all the time?

I don’t know that anyone could put it better!

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): Er, Mr. Berg? Do you mind if we call you “Mitch?”

Mitch Berg: Sure. Or “Mister Berg” if you’re nasty.

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): Mr. Berg, bloggers affiliated with your “stalker” Mr. Avidor…

Mitch Berg: …er, Miss? That’s “Mister Weiner”. “Avidor” was the name of an actual artist. It’d be like asking y’all to call me “Mister Hendrix” or “Mister Miller” after spending twenty years making a mockery of my real name. Anyway, carry on.

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): …sorry. Anyway, they have made a small cottage industry of making up nicknames for you. You’re referred to sometimes as “Blogger Berg”…

Mitch Berg: …that would, in fact, be gramatically and factually correct. I am a blogger, and my name is Berg! One adjective, one noun.

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): …and “Gasbag of the Midway”.

Mitch Berg: Given that I share this distict with Ellen Anderson and Jay Benanav, I must say that’s kind of an honor! Also…improbable.

Reporter B (WCCO-TV): So do any of those names…I don’t know, faze you in any way?

Mitch Berg: I grew up a tall, scrawny, greasy-haired, uncoordinated, athletically-inept cello-playing brainiac and a Bears fan. I got called worse than that around the Thanksgiving dinner table.

[laughter]

Next question?

Reporter C (Dump Bachmann): Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit?

Mitch Berg: I’m actually on record opposing it.

Reporter C (Dump Bachmann): But why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why, why why, Blogger Berg?

Mitch Berg: I’ve never supported it.

Reporter C (Dump Bachmann): But why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why, why why, oh Gasbag?

Mitch Berg: Nope. Never.

Reporter C (Dump Bachmann): But why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit? Why are you on record in support of Personal Rapid Transit…

[Reporter is tasered. By fellow reporters. His carried – with difficulty – from the hall.]

Mitch Berg: Next question?

Reporter D (Sixty Minutes): You make light of this purportered “stalker”…

Mitch Berg: …well, yeah, I do. This guy doesn’t have the balls to really do the job. He’s a gutless little moral, social and intellectual gimp who skulks around and makes photoshop “cartoons” and logically-and-factually-void proclamations because he can’t hold his own in a face to face…anything. Debate, discussion, fight, whatever. He’s nothing. Zero. I’ve wiped smarter opponents and bigger threats off the sole of my shoe walking through Mears Park.

Reporter E (Star/Tribune): Do you have any comment about Scott Johnson writing for True North along with Tom Swift, as our man “Avidor” reported in “Buzz.mn”?

Mitch Berg: …and Black Ink, and the Daily Kos, and the Daily Mole?

Reporter E (Star/Tribune): Er…yes.

Mitch Berg: OK. Three parts to my response.

1. Scott and Tom are both friends of mine. Ken “Avidor” Weiner isn’t fit to carry either of their gig bags, as a writer or a person.
2. Weiner’s big “point” against Tom is that he’s “nasty” – that he hits, he claims, below the belt. It’s crap, of course. But, um, so? Welcome to the blogosphere! It’s not like Weiner is a model of detached restraint! His beef is the same one Salieri had with Mozart; he realizes he’s not as good as either – or any – of the people he stalks.
3. Eric Black? Steve Perry? You share a local left-wing blogosphere with Ken “Avidor” Weiner and Kevin McKay and Mark “Revolutionary Gonads” Gisleson. By the standard that the Daily Mole and Black Ink are endorsing, you are guiltyi by association. Defend yourselves.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: Sure, in the same way that a three-year-old “hit a nerve” when she colors on the walls!

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: [Thinks] Or maybe in the same way as Andy Milonakis…no, not quite that bad.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: Nope.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: Nope-er.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: Still no.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: I refer you to my friend John McGinley, who said it best.

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: [yawns]

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Reporter F (Lloydletta): Oooh! It looks like Ken Avidor has hit a nerve!

Mitch Berg: I will give my next response in sign language:

Reporter G (Ha’aretz): You’ve been very critical of the local leftymedia…
Mitch Berg: Look, when a hack like Karl Bremer can get coverage in the Daily Mole and Black Ink, for a baldfaced “guilt by association” smear, and get it with breathless credulity to boot, it should make people ask questions.

Last question…

Reporter H (E News): Any truth to the bit we read in the Strib’s Blog House that…

Mitch Berg: Probably not.

Thanks!

[Pandemonium as reporters race for their phones]

UPDATE:  Learned Foot is doing a post-conference poll on the issue at hand.

And then, as he says, let’s finish this.

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I “The First Team” – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – As this is written, Ed is stuck in Houston. I will be in next, from 1-3. Will there be a guest star? We’ll see.
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

Apropos nothing.

It just occurred to me that I’ve never used a Metallica reference for a post title.

Another life’s goal, accomplished.

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I “The First Team” – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed and I will be in next, from 1-3.
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

Someone emailed me to ask what I thought about Brian Lambert’s take on the latest round of ratings.

What the heck; it’s always good entertainment.

I’ll ask you to remember one thing that, for some of you (and you know who I’m talking about), might seem counterintuitive; while I am a conservative host (part-time, anyway), I’m also very, very clinical about the business itself. [Pacino on] It’s not personal. It’s business. [/Pacino off] As I’ve noted in the past, I could probably do a better job of making the local Air America affiliate successful than whomever Janet Robert has doing it now.  Not that I’m going to; I’m just saying.

So let’s go to Lambert (whom the Rake has absorbed, along with Deb  Caulfield-Rybak):

In response to thunderous demand for radio ratings statistics — a task I find strangely titillating — the Slaughter offers these snapshots of what Twin Cities listeners say they were tuned to over the past summer.

The disclaimer I will always issue is that as they are currently handled, by volunteers filling in written diaries, the Arbitrons have about as much scientific validity as The Flat Earth Society. The game will change dramatically when the so-called Portable People Meters, devices that accurately record what people are actually listening to, as opposed to what they remember, or prefer to think they were listening to, hits this market. But until then, the radio industry lives and dies by these things, and the patterns — even with constantly shifting volunteers — are pretty static.

True.  With one important caveat; Arbitron’s method is notoriously…no, notoriously fickle with stations with smaller numbers.

Here are the rankings for the top 15 local commercial stations, among adult listeners 25-54.

Continued advertisement

STATION…..2006…….2007

KQRS ………….11.1…….11.0

It truly amazes me what a juggernaut KQ has become…

KS95……………5.9……..7.0

…or that KS95 is hanging in there at all, much less this far up the rankings.

K102……………9.2……..6.7

Wow.  Great job, Clear Channel!  Gassing Mick Anselmo did you a world of good!

JACK……………5.0……..5.8

On the other hand, that makes me happy.  Jack is my favorite “conventional” music station (although I’ve found myself listening to MPR Classical more and more lately)
The Evil Talk Empire continues its post-Limbaugh languish…:

(Tie)KSTP-AM…….3.4……..3.8

With its consultants’ view that “conservative talk is dead” still undisturbed in its’ cabinet at Hubbard HQ, I betcha the winter book, sans the Twins (not to mention next summer, with a rebuilding team) is going to huuuuuuurt.

WCCO……………4.7……..2.9

This astounds me; WCCO is unravelling.

And this…:

KTLK……………2.3……..1.9

KTLK fired program director (and my old KSTP colleague) Doug Westerman; I can’t imagine that dropping “The Limbaugh Station” into freefall made ’em very happy (although sources tell me Westerman didn’t have much more actual programming authority than did the manager of the Caribou across the street from Clear Channel Twin Cities’ studios).

Finally, the important part:

(Tie)Air America…0.6……..0.7
(Tie)The Patriot…1.2……..0.7

So.  After three years, the Patriot and AAo’M are tied.

Except we’re not.  Remember – this is radio inside baseball, so I am, in fact, very clinical in my approach.  My apparent bias toward the Patriot (where I host a show) applies a lot less than you might think:

1. A tie may not be a Patriot win, but it’s a loss for AAo’M from a “physics” perspective.  Both stations are 5,000 watt AM operations; AAo’M is a 950 Kilocycles, while AM1280 is, obviously, at 1280Kc.  The lower an AM station’s frequency, the more range and clarity it has per watt of power; AM950’s signal should cover – very conservatively – 50% more area than 1280’s.  And AM950 broadcasts from the heart of the überliberal 5th District.
2. As we noted above, Arbitron numbers this far down the standings are notoriously fickle.
3. When the numbers are this fickle, it makes no sense for a station to take Arbitron ratings to potential advertisers.  They have to rely on demographics and results.  So compare advertisers and inventories; by that measure, the Patriot is creaming AAo’M.
4. Oh, yeah – to the extent anyone cares about the numbers, the first “Trend” numbers after the summer book show the Patriot up, and AAo’M down.  Just saying.

The Patriot has problems; as noted in this space (by many, many commenters as well as me), it’s had a series of frustrating technical glitches leading to hours of dead air, doubled-up commercials and other problems.  When those get fixed (and while I don’t want to go into inside-station details, big changes are underway there), it’ll  be a huge improvement.:

On the downside, K102, Twins-less WCCO and The Patriot took tough slides in audience levels. Speaking of the Twins though, KSTP-AM can’t be thrilled that their expensive “partnership” with the Twinkies netted them only a meager 0.4 increase in adult listeners. That ain’t good.

It’s worse than that; apparently whatever numbers they got from the Twinks didn’t transfer to any of the station’s regular programs.

Now, to the fun part – drive time:

STATION … AUDIENCE SHARE
KQRS ……..22.9 (Barnard)

Say what you will about Barnard, his personality, his show’s teenage-boy orientation – but speaking purely clinically, it’s kind of fun to be able to watch one of the industry’s most enduring phenomena, year-in, year-out.  Barnard is the Walter Peyton of radio; year after year after year, he just continues to dominate.

KS95……….9.3 (Greg & Cheryl)

Not speaking clinically in the least, it’s great to see Greg Thunder (the first Mr. Eleanor Mondale) score.  I knew Greg nearly 20 years ago; he’s one of the good guys.

Speaking of good guys:

The Patriot…1.1 (Bennett/Ingraham)
KTLK……….1.0 (Hines/Conry)
AirAmerica….0.5 (Press/Miller)

All of the usual caveats about numbers below 2 points still apply – but this is just plain fun.  Forget about Bill Press and Stephanie “The Liberal Laura Ingraham” Miller – the fact that the syndicated Bennett is beating the local legend (and expensive but pointless host)  (UPDATE:  Ex-host, actually) John Hines is a sign of how badly Clear Channel is handling KTLK.  And it’s reportedly worse after 8AM, where the syndie Laura Ingraham is reportedly body-slamming the local (and, honestly, not-bad) Dan Conry in the mid-morning slot.

Now, let’s move to afternoons:

STATION AUDIENCE SHARE

AM1500…5.3 (Soucheray/Thomas)
KTLK…..2.3 (Hannity/Lewis)
AirAm….0.8 (Hartmann/Heaney)
Patriot..0.5 (Medved/Hewitt)

Lewis’ performance is counterintuitive; he should  be dominating the late-drive slot against the limpid sportstalker Matt Thomas.  Forget Clear Channel – his numbers are a disappointment to me – Lewis is the host I always wanted to be when I grew up.

As to the vital AAo’M vs.Hewitt battle – that’s an interesting question.   The Mark Heaney show has expanded to two hours, which merely makes Heaney twice as excruciating. Remember – I’m being pretty clinical here.  Heaney is boring enough to be on MPR, but smooth and professional enough for KFAI.

On the other hand, Hewitt’s numbers lately are pretty terrible.  Part of that, no doubt, can be chalked up to the inter-election slump that always bedevils conservative talk.  Part of it is the Patriot’s technical bugaboos, which seem to be worst in the afternoon (and have even made me tune out).  And part of it, perhaps, is that Hugh Hewitt might, perhaps, overestimate the fascination the American people have  for the inner workings of the legal system; as someone who is not only a big fan but an acquaintance (whose own radio show owes a lot to support from Hewitt in the first place), there’ve been times where even I get tired of endless insider-noodling about appellate court decisions.  Hewitt will benefit when both he and the audience switch into election mode (provided the Patriot gets its’ pernicious technical bugs squared away).

The next year, with a national convention and a presidential election, is going to be the real test.

And (not speaking clinically at all, now), I’m looking forward to it.

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I “The First Team” – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed and I will be in next, from 1-3.
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

Over at AM1280’s sister station KKMS (“AM980 The Believer”), the Jeff and Lee show will be talking this afternoon with Georges Sada, a former general in Hussein’s Iraqi army, about his allegations – which are story non grata in the mainstream media – that Hussein’s WMD program was far more advanced than conventional wisdom currently holds, and that the evidence was smuggled to Syria.

Sada is on a spin through the area promoting his new book on the subject.

Tune in, call up!

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I The First Team – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed and I will be in next, from 1-3.
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

AM1280 has a brand new website.

Bookmark it!

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I The Opening Act The First Team – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1. During this time, by the way, I’ll be at JK Thompson Building and Remodeling’s “open house” in Roseville.
  I’ll be at 946 County Road “B” between Lexington and Victoria. We’ve got all sorts of cool Patriot swag, plus you can check out the Thompsons’ awesome work. At a time when your home’s gotta stand out to sell (or when it might even be better to just remodel and enjoy where you’re at), it might be just what you need!
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed and I will be in next, from 1-3.
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

So git on in here and listen up!

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I The First Team – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed is off on assignment again, but I will be in next, from 1-3.
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

So git on in here and listen up!

I’m guessing it’ll be Australia:

Doctors plugged an Italian tourist into a drip-feed of vodka to save him at a hospital in Australia that ran out of the medicinal alcohol it would normally have used for treatment.

I’m sure Atomizer’s insurance covers it, too. 

“The patient was drip-fed about three standard drinks an hour for three days in the intensive care unit,” he said.

OK, maybe he’ll need the “deluxe” plan. 

“The hospital’s administrators were also very understanding when we explained our reasons for buying a case of vodka.”

I think every talk radio listener in the Western World would understand.

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I The Opening Act The First Team – John, Brian and Chad – or some combination thereof – will seize the reins and kick things off from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed and I will be in next, from 1-3.
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will do the Minnesota voodoo they do until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

So git on in here and listen up!

There’s going to be some excellent studio space coming available soon…

The Ramsey County Board voted today to demolish the old county jail and part of the West Publishing complex, which occupy prime riverfront space in downtown St. Paul.

It’s a step toward selling the county-owned land and redeveloping it to make better use of the views and provide more access to the river.

I’ll even take one of the lower-floor offices!

Whaddya say?

Well, two reviews are in, anyway.  They saw me on C-SPAN this morning.  So far so good.

Replay, apparently, at 9PM Central tonight. 

I may tune in, but I’ll probably keep my eyes and ears jammed shut.

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I The Opening Act The First Team – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed is back from assignment, finally!  We’ll be in next, from 1-3.  We might have a very special guest – we’ll see…
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

So git on in here and listen up!

Last week, I figured that C-SPAN would broadcast Laura Ingraham’s appearance at St. Kate’s last week – the one I MC’ed whilst utterly soaked to the bone…

…at 4AM some Sunday morning, between the GAO report on office supply waste and the scores for the Justice Department softball league.

A little bird tells me it will actually run this Sunday morning at 8AM Central.

If there’s anything I hate (like all radio people) more than listening to myself, it’s watching myself. But I have a hunch it’s going to look humblingly hilarious.

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I The Opening Act The First Team – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1. 
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed is off on assignment, and I’ll will be out at White Bear Lake Superstore, from 1-3. 
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

So I went to the Laura Ingraham event last night, at the O’Shaughnessy Auditorium at the College of St. Catherine, down in Highland Park.

I guess I was a bit remiss in my blogging before last night – I was actually the Master of Ceremonies.  Which meant I had to dig my suit out of mothballs. 

The Good News:  It was a great time.  Laura was doing her book tour for her new book, “Power To The People”; we had a really great turnout, weather or no.  She’s an excellent, passionate speaker with a raft of great stories to tell, and a mission to tell ’em.  And I had a great time MC-ing things; I got to welcome the crowd, introduce Laura, and then – the fun part – moderate a Q and A session afterward.  I had a blast.

The Great News:  I had no idea this was going to happen, but the event will apparently be my national TV debut.  A local stringer for C-SPAN was there, covering the event.  I’m sure it’ll be on at 4AM some Sunday morning, between the GAO report on office supply waste and the scores for the Justice Department softball league, but hey, national TV is national TV.  My parents will be so proud.

The Not-So-Great News:  When I parked my car to get to O’Shaughnessey, the storm was at its peak, and I was already late, and no, I didn’t have an umbrella; I was already late for my call, so I had to get moving.  I arrived soaking wet, and I only dried off so much before I had to go onstage, where at least the blazing stage lighting evaporated some of the surface accumulations (very likely in a cloud of steam visible from the audience).  So I’ll make my national TV debut looking like a half-drowned rat who got to spend two minutes under a heat lamp.

However – all in all, it was a great time!

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I The Opening Act The First Team – John, Brian and Chad – will shoo the Stroms from the studio and kick things off from 11-1. 
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed is off on assignment again, and I’ll will be in next, from 1-3.  Talking about the demonstrations, the Petraeus testimony, and interviewing author Marc Howard (Behind Enemy Lines). Tune in!
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – Rep. Laura Brod will join Michael  to talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I “The First Team” – John, Brian and Chad – will kick things off from 11-1. 
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed is off on assignment.  I’ll will be out at White Bear Lake Superstore, from 1-3.  During the second hour, we’ll be talking about the upcoming counterprotest at the “anti-war” rally. 
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will talk Minnesota trash after that until 5PM.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!

Let’s step back through some NARN history:

2004 State Fair Broadcast

Guest: The Funky Chickens.  A man and woman dressed as chickens, performing primarily for kids.  They sang chicken songs.  They made “cluck” puns as they spoke.  I’m sure their intended audience – 3-7 year old kids – love ’em.  They were, shall we say, misplaced as guests on a conservative talk show.

Highlight of Gig: Me, laying an egg.

Booked by:  Chad the Elder

Chad’s Status:  Absent from the broadcast that day.

2005 NARN Broadcast

Guest: Joe Schlabotnik (name changed to protect the innocent because I can’t remember it) the Conservative Comic.  A standup comic.  Who was conservative.  To be fair, he gave evidence of his conservatism.  But in a half-hour interview, he gave no evidence whatsoever that he was a comic. 

Highlight of Gig: Brian Ward and I, laying a metaphorical egg, trying to squeeze blood from a turnip.

Booked by:  Chad the Elder

Chad’s Status:  Absent from the broadcast that hour.

2007 State Fair Broadcast

Guest: Sewer Man.  A guy who talked for fifteen minutes on the NARN I State Fair broadcast last Saturday about sewage, as he mixed some sort of sewage-like concoction.  Brian, trooper that he is, plugged away at it, and did his best, but…ugh.   

Highlight of Gig: The guy (putatively) drinking his sewage-like concoction on the air.  I didn’t say it was a good highlight…

Booked by:  Chad the Elder

Chad’s Status:  Absent from the broadcast that day.

2008 State Fair Broadcast

Guest: Transgender Mimes for Kucinich.  A group of Transgender (and transgender -sympathizing) mimes who do silent performance art elucidating man’s inhumanity to woman, and why a Kucinich presidency and a Democrat/Green alliance in Congress would be best for the womynandchildren. 

Interview to be conducted by Chad the Elder. 

Highlight of Gig: Brian, John, Ed, King, Michael and I, sitting in the burger joint in the Horticulture building, watching the fun.

Booked by:  Brian, John, Ed, King, Michael and I.

Brian, John, Ed, King, Michael and My Status:  Absent from the broadcast that segment.  Or three.  Or maybe a whole hour of Transgender Mimes for Kucinich. 

I think you should book your tickets.

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network and our final day at the fair:

• Volume I The Opening Act The First Team – John, Brian and Chad – will, I presume, order Spam sculptures of David Strom. 
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed and I’ll will be in next, from 1-3. 
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael will reprise their triumphant afternoon-drive debut and drive the whole thing home.

So join us on the Northern Alliance Radio Network, live at the Minnesota State Fair, 11AM-5PM Central on AM1280 The Patriot, and at Townhall.com!