Never Ever

Few things have made me cringe quite as hard as “White Dudes for Harris” – the bunch of man-buns, ex-celebs, non-profit staffers and other walking caricatures that showed up on a struggle session on Zoom over the summer…

…to a fairly universal “ick”.

Why ,yes – I thought the whole thing was cloying and patronizing.

How cloying and patronizing?  You know when Tim Walz puts on his Elmer Fudd costume and grabs his entourage of photographers and social media dinks and waddles around the fair taking pictures of himself eating donuts and hugging piglets? 

 That cloying and patronizing.

But “they” were just getting started:

“Every time you go online, it’s the same story – the people who are paying me to read this script telling people like me that I suck. Well, if you vote for Kamala Harris, because reasons we’ll give you someday, maybe, then maybe you and I don’t suck”.

Whoever wrote this has never met an actual male of any race.

False Choices

I’m trying to imagine the depths of Kamala Harris’s, er, nuance when it comes to civil liberties.  Perhaps…:

“It’s a false choice to say you support free speech, or censorship. I am in favor of the First Amendment, and I support a disinformation ban, licensing the press, and Governor Walz’s thoughtcrime database, like when I was born into the middle class!”

Or maybe…:

“It’s a false choice say say you are either for or against the Fourth Amendment. I support the 4th Amendment – and I think cops shouldn’t have to ask for search warrants before tossing your house and car, unburdened by what has been.”

Hmmm. How about…:

“It’s wrong to say you either support or oppose the 5th Amendment. I support the 5th Amendment – but it makes life easier for our First Responders in the County Attorneys office if we presume people guilty until proven innocent, abolish juries and defense counsel”

Oh, was there even a need to guess?

Her principles are, in fact, as convenient as her ethics.

Cults Of Personality

SCENE:  Mitch BERG is looking for arrowroot flour at a local co-op.  Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, a twenty-something graduate of Saint Olaf, and of Camp Wellstone. Moonbeam works as a telemarketer for “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”, steps around the endcamp.

BIRKENSTOCK: Merg.

BERG:  Hey, Moonbeam. 

BIRKENSTOCK:  So Drumpf really stepped in it this time.

BERG: (With mock concern, tempered with a bit of fatigue). What?  Again?

BIRKENSTOCK: (Oblivious).  Yep.  Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala!

BERG:  You don’t say.  I mean, that was pretty much a foregone conclusion long ago. 

BIRKENSTOCK:  Yeah, but here’s the best part:  He insulted her!

BERG: Oooh. Bad. Really really bad.

BIRKENSTOCK:  This probably ends the race.

BERG: Well, it ends something, anyway:

Only 6% said it made them more likely to vote Harris, while 13% said it made them less likely to—though ABC News noted that those who responded negatively to the question were “overwhelmingly Trump supporters” (Forbes has reached out to ABC News and Ipsos for more data).

But the poll found Swift’s endorsement didn’t even help Harris much in the expected key demographic: Just 8% of women under 30 said they were more likely to support Harris, 13% said they were less likely and 78% said it made no difference.

 

BIRKENSTOCK. So why insult her and risk all those votes?

BERG:  Not sure it affected any votes that weren’t going to go to Harris anyway. 

BIRKENSTOCK:  Hah!  Young women are fierce and independent and…and…I just can’t…

BERG:  Shake it off.

 And SCENE

The Minnesota Prototype

Seen on Twitter:

If someone on the Trump campaign doesn’t turn this into a bumper sticker, it deserves to lose.

But it brought me back to something I talked about on the air the other day.

Hear me out.

The Minnesota Model

See how Kamala Harris has been campaigning?

  • Evading all questioning
  • Avoiding policy discussions
  • Being as vague and gauzy as possible about the bits of policy they do talk about
  • Slopping the public trough with an endless diet of soft-focus social media
  • Letting the opposition research staff and media (pardon the redundancy) do the hard work?

Look familiar?

If you live in Minnesota, it should.  The Democrats have been trial-running this strategy since at least 2018. 

Do you remember Tim Walz and Peggy Flanagan ever talking about policy?

Other than soft-focus platitudes about “fully funding education”, “reducing poverty 30%”, “sending kids to school with full bellies” (puke), “One Minnesota!”, and even abortion policy?

The only record the Walz/Flanagan regime will leave to historians is the endless river of social media posts, dripping with platitudes and set-piece photos of Walz in his “regular guy” costume doing “regular guy” stuff, holding piglets and hugging kids and getting fed Pronto Pups by the Lieutenant Governor. 

Ditto Angie Craig, whose only public persona is the biennial off-road rally she throws in that stupid black Jeep. 

If you’re looking at Harris/Walz’s national campaign and not feeling deja vu, I’d love to know why. 

If Trump manages to win, and the DFL takes some setbacks, maybe the “Minnesota Model” of campaigning – evade questioning (or count on the media not bothering to ask them), slop the trough with an endless diet of gauzy social media holding piglets and being “brat” – will start reachind the end of its fifteen minutes.

Jackboots Of Joy

Here’s some Kamala Harris “Brat Vibes” from her time as San Francisco DA:

Just because you have a gun in the sanctity of your locked home doesn’t mean we’re not going to walk into that home and check to see if you’re being responsible…

If you don’t find “ignoring the Fourth Amendment” absolutely disqualifying, I’m almost afraid to ask what you’ll let government get away with.

Berg’s 20th Law Goes 33 For 33

Berg’s 20th Law of Social Justice Warmongering reads as follows:

All incidents of “hate speech” not captured on video (involving being delivered by someone p roven not to be a ringer) shall be assumed to be hoaxes until proven otherwise.

Look – these laws, and the concept of “Berg’s Laws” themselves, were always intended to be tongue in cheek.

I didn’t expect them to be invariable truths.

And yet they very much seem to be. 

When I heard about the “flood of threats” descending on Springfield Ohio, I figured “Berg’s 20th Law is in effect”.

Was I right?

What do you think?

I don’t know my own strength.

Outcomes

Look – it’s not like there’s any reason at all, ever, that I’d vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.   I am not better off than I was four years ago, and likely either are you. 

But in addition to the whole “communist” thing, she appears to have been exactly the kind of soulless bureacratic bean-counter and image-polisher that I excoriated here

Kamala learned well from her Marxist parents; you gotta break some coconuts to make an omelet unburdened by the brat that has been. 

Or something like that. 

School’s Out

During Covid, I spent a lot of time driving between Minnesota and North Dakota.

And I listened to both governors’ press conferences, back when those were a daily or weekly thing – in one case, back to back, Walz and Burgum.  And the contrast could not have been more stark: listening to Walz felt like I was back in elementary school, with a history teacher who was really more of a football coach talking, slowly, like he thought you were as dumb as one of the jocks on his offensive line.  Burgum, on the other hand, sounded like he knew he was addressing not just adults, but people he had to treat with some basic adult respect.

And after seeing this…

…it’s all starting to make sense to me.

Side note:  a joint press conference with Kamala Harris and Gwen Walz would drive the suicide rate into double digits.

Coverage

While this appears to be pure fluff on the surface

Minnesota Governor and 2024 Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz has built a reputation as a bit of a foodie, or maybe just someone who enjoys food of varying qualities. After all, he’s not always eating the most refined foods — he’s declared his love for diet Mountain Dew, corn dogs, and Minneapolis’ signature cheese-filled burger,the Juicy Lucy. He’s even won the Minnesota Congressional Delegation Hotdish Off multiple years for his truly Midwestern tater tot casserole. This love of deliciously decadent foods definitely gives him points for relatability, while his universal free lunch program for Minnesota kids poises him as an executive who believes everyone (especially children) has the right to eat regardless of income.
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At the end of August 2024, the display of Governor Walz’s gastronomic delights continued as he was shown on his YouTube channel ordering a mint chocolate chip shake at Cook Out in North Carolina. Led by North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper, this was Walz’s first trip to the southern fast food chain. When asked what he thought of the shake, he replied, “It’s really good.” Maybe not the most glowing review, but he did appear to enjoy it, at least. (“Oh, my god,” he said in delight as he continued eating.)

…it it is no less incisive than the rest of the MSM coverage Governor Klink has gotten so far.

A Hard Conversation

SCENE:  Mitch BERG is shopping at the Roseville Cub.  The one on Larpenteur, not the one at Har Mar.   He rounds the end-cap in the condiment aisle, and sees Avery LIBRELLE, Cat SCAT and Gutterball GARY.  Before he can backtrack, they notice him.

SCAT:  Hey, Merg.

BERG:  Uh…

GARY. We need to talk about voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.

LIBRELLE:  Yes.  It’s time for a conversation. 

BERG:  A “conversation”.

SCAT:  Yes. 

BERG. OK.  But it’ll be a short “conversation”.   Harris and Walz are communists.  They’ll wreck the economy, trash civil liberties, throw the borders open thus crushing working Americans incomes, and give dictators from Putin to Xi to Khamenei free reign, while presiding over a “Lose Slowly” policy not only for the country, but for all of western civilization.

LIBRELLE:  Huh.

GARY:  OK.   You’ll need to change your mind, or this conversation will get “hard”.

(The three look menacingly at BERG).

BERG:  (Breaks out laughing, snorts in derision, walks away).

SCAT:  I think we got to him.

LIBRELLE:  Same.

And SCENE.

Functional

Amongf the Kamala Harris lies that ABC at the debates was the idea that “crime is down”:

It means you have a functioning BS detector. The National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), which measures Americans interactions with crimes not reported to the cops, unlike the FBI report Muir was flogging.

And it’s not good:

Overall, the NCVS indicate that in 2023, the rate of nonfatal violent victimization in the United States was 22.5 victimizations per 1,000 persons age 12 or older, which was similar to the 2022 rate of 23.5 violent victimizations per 1,000 persons age 12 or older. Violent victimization includes rape or sexual assault, robbery, aggravated assault, and simple assault.

Ironically, the NCVS had lower numbers for violent victimizations for 2020 and 2021, despite the widespread perception that crime got significantly worse during the pandemic. In 2018 the figure was 23.8, in 2019 it was 21, it was 16.4 in 2020 — remember, lots of people were stuck at home, and fewer people on the street means less street crime — and in 2021 it was 16.5.

 

And a look at the Minneapolis crime dashboard, counting only crimes reported to the cops, is also a little instructive: as of today,

  • homicide, larceny and robbery are up from last year
  • Assault and sex offenses are up above the 3 year average (and that counts 2021, one of the worst years on record)
  • Vandalism and domestic assault are up over both last year and the average. 

One of the things that always drew me to blogging was the notion of having a voice to shoot back (figuratively) at Big Media’s stultifying echo chamber. 

I had no idea, 22 years on, that we’d be this busy at it.

Debate Review

Harris didn’t do as badly as she could have.

Trump didn’t do as well as he should have.

Both told howlers that got their opponents exercised.

The moderators were awful.

Nothing will change.

I predict there will be no second debate. 

Thoughts?

Pounce

SCENE:   Governor Walz’s command post van, parked out back of the Minnesota State Fair.  Governor WALZ enters, dressed in his “regular Joe” costume, trailed by Lieutenant Governor FLANAGAN, sans turquoise earrings.  Trailing after in the entourage are the Governor’s press secretary, Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, and Lt. Gov. Flanagan’s press aide Cat SCAT.   WALZ’s face is red, causing his eyebrows to stand out like little white flares on a dark night.  Several other staffers, as well as FLANAGAN’s husband, former MPR political reporter and NPR’s MyLyssa SILBERMAN, reporter for National Public Radio’s Saint Paul bureau, covering the “Fake News” and “Diversity” beats, and Betty Rae TORSTENGAARDSEN, a writer at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog “MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“, and Lac Qui Parle County Dairy Princess in 1987, and voted “most likely to end up as a freelance political writer” by her sorority at U of M Morris in 1992.

WALZ:  What the hell was that?

FLANAGAN:  Weren’t they tooooold of the policy?

BIRKENSTOCK:  It was on the handout (SCAT produces the handout); “The state fair is only about food and baby animals“. 

WALZ:   Then what the hell was this?

 

BIRKENSTOCK: It was all that out of town media.

WALZ:  Well, what can we do about them? 

SILBERMAN:  What do you mean, “do”?

WALZ:  Can we get rid of them until they know the rules?  I mean, just look at this:

WALZ: I mean, what happened to the reporters who knows the rules? Peggy, what did you do with that guy from Public Minnesota Radio?

FLANAGAN:  Dated and married him? (WEBER gushes).

WALZ:  Can one of you date and marry that woman?

(BIRKENSTOCK and SCAT trade nervous glances)

BIRKENSTOCK:  Uhhhhh…

WALZ:  Look – the Minnesota media knows their place.  What’s it gonna take to get these national people to follow the rules?

SILBERMAN:  I probably shouldn’t be talking here, but playing games with access usually does the trick.

BIRKENSTOCK:  I know, we gotta get in control of that.

TORSTENGAARDSEN:  Or – and this may seem a little radical – you could answer policy questions from the press…

(Everyone in the room looks at TORSTENGAARDSEN as if she’s farted in church)

WALZ:  Get her the hell out of here.

(Security guards and Secret Service pass TORSTENGAARDSEN out of the van like it’s a mosh pit in 1992). 

WALZ:  OK.  Serious discussion here.  National media.  What the hell?  Think, people…

And SCENE

A Warning

Kamala Harris’s choice of Tim Walz for her running mate appears to be hurting her…

in Minnesota:

Only 52% of Minnesota voters see him as an excellent or good choice, with 12% saying he’s a fair selection, and a staggering 34% saying he’s a poor pick.

Walz is underwater with men, with 49% approving of his selection and 50% opposing it. About 40% of male respondents called him a poor choice of running mate.

Voters under the age of 35, a key demographic Harris needs in November, also aren’t enthusiastic: 49% called Walz an excellent or good pick; the other 51% regarded him unfavorably. These voters make up 25% of the anticipated November electorate.

Walz is also one percentage point underwater with parents, with 48% regarding him favorably and 49% panning the pick. Among people with children, 35% say he was a poor selection.

And who knows him better than the people he’s been governing, badly and opaquely, for six years?

The Dem howler monkeys big takeaway from this photo is that they botched the apostrophes.

As one local wag put it…:

What she said.

Leave him at the door, America.

A Time For Choosing A Movie

I saw the Reagan biopic last week.

The movie was…good.  

Not the great movie the subject or the time of history deserves; Philip Klein points out some of the problems I couldn’t quite articulate, while Jim Geraghty echoed the reasons I left the show so excited anyway:

Reagan is ultimately deeply satisfying for those of us who have fond memories of the 40th president, and packs a lot into its two hours and 15 minutes. The movie gains some focus from its framing device — Jon Voight is a geriatric KGB spymaster, explaining to a young and ambitious Russian leader why the Soviet Union really collapsed. (I started wondering if this was meant to be a secular The Screwtape Letters. I also wondered if the film was attempting to draw a parallel between the Soviet threat of the last century and the coalition of hostile powers facing us today.) It is the best depiction of Reagan in pop culture since the video game Call of Duty.

The movie was clearly a conservative effort – I think most of the “out” Republican actors and entertainers in the business play some part or another (the fall of the Berlin Wall is framed by seminal opening guitar figure from “Sweet Child of Mine” – covered by Christian guitarist Phil Keaggy). And but for that conservative effort, the movie – or an honest movie – about the era would never get made.

As Klein points out, it’s far from perfect; the movie tries to jam a lot of story into two hours, and doesn’t always do it elegantly.  Sometimes the shortcuts are intentionally hilarious – the film jams the rapid-fire deaths of Leonid Brezhnev, Yuri Andropov and Konstantin Chernenko into sixty seconds via one of the more hilarious little segments I’ve seen since Terry Gilliam worked for Monty Python.  Sometimes – like the meet cute between Reagan and Nancy Davis, his future wife – they feel like plot devices that I hoped were homages to Reagan’s B-movie background.

So the movie was…good.   It’s clearly low-ish budget, and feels like it. 

But the story is one that direly needs telling to a whole new generation.  Probably two generations. 

Is Reagan the movie to do it?  Maybe not. 

If it prompts those of us who were there to tell the story to those benighted generations?  

Now there, we’re onto something. 

Because the story is heavily-laden with nods to our current environment.   At the beginning, Jon Voight’s KGB agent – the narrator for the movie – reminds the viewer that communism always sought to conquer both by force of arms and, more insidiously, from within. 

And Reagan saw that clearly when he was with the Screen Actors Guild, long before he even became a Republican, thirty years before he became president. 

The movie hits the high points – some of them hard (the Brandenburg Gate speech, Rejkjavik, the clarifying moment that was the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II), some much too quickly (the economic comeback from the ’82 recession and the ’84 debate with Mondale);  the story really deserves a trilogy – perhaps separate stories for his genesis as an anti-communist, the domestic story, and the part they said couldn’t be done, his leadership in pressing the fall of the USSR. 

But this’ll do for now. 

For those who remember them, seeing the renditions and backstory of the Brandenburg Gate speech was a misty bit of nostalgia that resonates all too hard as we see tyranny resurging, around the world and at home. 

But perhaps the most redolent moment was one I was too young to remember live – the Time for Choosing speech, one of the most magnificent bits of oratory in this nation’s history.

Since my old friend Michael Brodkorb chose to misappropriate it in his Strib op ed endorsing Kamala Harris, I think the real thing needs a lot of airing. 

We cannot buy our security, our freedom from the threat of the bomb by committing an immorality so great as saying to a billion human beings now enslaved behind the Iron Curtain, “Give up your dreams of freedom because to save our own skins, we’re willing to make a deal with your slave masters.” Alexander Hamilton said, “A nation which can prefer disgrace to danger is prepared for a master, and deserves one.” Now let’s set the record straight. There’s no argument over the choice between peace and war, but there’s only one guaranteed way you can have peace – and you can have it in the next second – surrender.

Admittedly, there’s a risk in any course we follow other than this, but every lesson of history tells us that the greater risk lies in appeasement, and this is the specter our well-meaning liberal friends refuse to face, that their policy of accommodation is appeasement, and it gives no choice between peace and war, only between fight or surrender. If we continue to accommodate, continue to back and retreat, eventually we have to face the final demand, the ultimatum. And what then, when Nikita Khrushchev has told his people he knows what our answer will be? He has told them that we’re retreating under the pressure of the Cold War, and someday when the time comes to deliver the final ultimatum, our surrender will be voluntary, because by that time we will have been weakened from within spiritually, morally, and economically. He believes this because from our side he’s heard voices pleading for “peace at any price” or “better Red than dead,” or as one commentator put it, he’d rather “live on his knees than die on his feet.” And therein lies the road to war, because those voices don’t speak for the rest of us.

You and I know and do not believe that life is so dear and peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery. If nothing in life is worth dying for, when did this begin – just in the face of this enemy? Or should Moses have told the children of Israel to live in slavery under the pharaohs? Should Christ have refused the cross? Should the patriots at Concord Bridge have thrown down their guns and refused to fire the shot heard ’round the world? The martyrs of history were not fools, and our honored dead who gave their lives to stop the advance of the Nazis didn’t die in vain. Where, then, is the road to peace? Well it’s a simple answer after all.

You and I have the courage to say to our enemies, “There is a price we will not pay.” “There is a point beyond which they must not advance.” And this – this is the meaning in the phrase of Barry Goldwater’s “peace through strength.” Winston Churchill said, “The destiny of man is not measured by material computations. When great forces are on the move in the world, we learn we’re spirits – not animals.” And he said, “There’s something going on in time and space, and beyond time and space, which, whether we like it or not, spells duty.”

You and I have a rendezvous with destiny.

 

The speech deserves better than to be hijacked in support of a couple of actual communists. This record will be set straight.

Pass it along.

The New Girl On The Beat

There must be a new reporter on the campaign beat. 

Nobody told her – Governor Walz doesn’t answer questions.  Not when asked by Dana Bash in a pre-taped interview…

much less at the state fair, where the media’s job for the six years of. his regime so far has been to ask him about food and fishing, as his social media team takes gauzy photos of him holding piglets and getting fed corn dogs by Peggy Flanagan. 

Nobody told the new girl. And it got awkward:

Friggin’ interlopers. Is nothing sacred?

The Beautiful Reward

Once nice thing about being a conservative these days…

…is that all your “conspiracy theories” turn out to be true.

High Strategy

George W. Bush’s Air Guard record.

Mitt Romney’s tax returns.

The Russian Collusion hoax.

The “Perfectly Fine People” hoax.

“White Supremacists started/did most of the rioting in Minneapolis!”

“Kids are coming to school hungry in Minnesota”.

And now this:

A PBS senior corresponent apologized Wednesday after falsely telling her audience thart former President Donald Trump tried to talk Israel out of a cease-fire amid its ongoing war in Gaza.

Judy Woodruff passed off blame for the blunder by “clarifying” that she based the flimsy scoop on outside reporting that she had read byefroe broadcasting from the Democratic National Convention (DNC) in Chicago.

“The reporting is that former President Trump is on the phone with the prime minister of Israel, urging him not to cut a deal right now, because it’s believed that would help the Harris campaign”, Woodruff told a PBS roundtable”. 

 

Woodruff posted a tweet “Clarifying” her regret that she’d been caught:

 

But it’s out there. Democrat tweeps are chanting it like it’s fact. The intellectual gerbils that make up the Democrat base are parroting merrily away.

Because, well perception is reality.  And who controls what people perceive, anyway? 

Could happen to anyone. 

Hey – wasn’t “misinformation” public enemy number one?

Berg’s Seventh Law is getting more and more inerrant.

That Screaming Sound From Chicago

This can’t be good news for Democrats:

I’m waiting for the inevitable ACLU lawsuit in response. 

America, 2027

SCENE:  On Broadway at Central, in Northeast Minneapolis.  It’s late fall; winter is clearly on the way.  Stray papers blow down the street, nearly deserted in, visibly chilly.  Outside the boarded up remains of what had been a breakfast place catering to “laptop-class” white progressive “new urbanites”, one of many boarded up stores on that once-lively stretch of street, a small group of people stand around a fire in a trash pail. 

The group includes Tyrese and TayShawnda GROVES, a 40-something black couple; Steven SPALSKI, a 31 year old white male with his girlfriend, 30 year old Summer BLEAKER; 58-year-old Cindy HARLESS; Juan and Marcella VEGA, both 50, with their 11 year old son Arturo; and 45 year old Thai NGUYEN..

A police car creeps down the rutted road, dodging potholes, the officer avoiding the gaze of the people around the fire. 

TYRESE GROVES:  (to Spalski):  So what did you used to do?

SPALSKI:  You mean…before the joy?

(The group laughs, mirthlessly)

SPALSKI:  I was a graphic designer for a startup that had just done its IPO. 

BLEAKER:  He was in line for a ton of stock options. 

MARCELLA VEGA:  What happened?

SPALSKI:  (sighing with a weight greater than his years):  All our customers went bankrupt. 

TAYSHAWNDA GROVES:  Same here.  We ran a little grocery store over North.  We were getting by…

TYRESE GROVES: …til the “anti-gouging price controls” hit.  

NGUYEN:  F***ing “anti-gouging act”

 (Several of the people spit onto the dirty sidewalk). 

GROVES (To Juan and Thai)  You?

JUAN VEGA:  I ran a little repair shop.   Couldn’t get parts anymore. 

NGUYEN:  Thai restaurant.  All our wholesalers went bust. 

TAYSHAWNDA GROVES:  Well, they took care of the “gouging”. 

(Bitter laughs ensue)

MARCELLA VEGA:  At least we had all that “joy”.

(General murmurs of disgust was the group warms their hands).

A Subaru, belching oil smoke, pulls up.  Two women – 27  year old Emily FRONTENAC and 48 year old Emily MONTPETIT-EMILY, roll down a window.  FRONTENAC’s hair shows little flecks of long-neglected blue dye at the end of long dirty-blond roots.  MONTPETIT-EMILY, a blocky-looking woman, stares ahead grimly.

FRONTENAC:  Hey – do you know the guy who’s selling the gluten-free eggs?

THAI:  I might.

JUAN VEGA:  Hey, just a minute ( points at the shirt MONTPETIT-EMILY is wearing,  which looks a little like this…

JUAN VEGA:  You’re one of the “pissed off women” who dragged Harris and Piglet over the line into the white house!

MONTPETIT-EMILY:  Er…uh…

SPALSKI:  You’re the ones that brought us all the “Joy”!

FRONTENAC:  Uh….

JUAN VEGA:  I had a good life before you “pissed off white progressive women” tanked the economy!

FRONTENAC:  We saved abortion rights…

HARLESS:  I can’t feed my grandkids abortion rights!

FRONTENAC:  But…

TAYSHAWNDA GROVES:  Hey, it’s a couple of the “pissed off women!”

JUAN VEGA:  You always knew better than everyone.

SPALSKI:  I had a life before you and your idiot president!

(Arturo Vega picks up a small rock and whips it at the Subary, dinging off the door)

FRONTENAC: Heyyy!

NGUYEN, HARLESS and TYRESE GROVES pick up handfuls of rocks and garbage and start pelting the car, which accelarates away as SPALSKI kicks at the back bumper. 

MARCELLA VEGA:  Feeling the joy yet, b***h*s?

JUAN VEGA sails a rock down the street, cracking the Subaru’s back window. 

TAYSHAWNDA GROVES:  I’ll show you pissed off women…

(General murmurs of asssent)

NGUYEN:  So what are you all having for dinner tonight?

BLEAKER:  Probably more joy. 

(MIrthless laughter).

SPALSKI:  Never gets old, does it?

And SCENE.

 

 

Open Letter To America’s Dumbest Senator

To: Senator Tina Smith
From:  Mitch Berg, Obstreporous Peasant
Re;  Democracy

Senator,

Yesterday you (via  your social  media intern) tweeted this:

“History” may mark those words, if it’s written by someone dumb enough to be a Tina Smith voter.

But – and saying for sake of argument that Donald Trump was in fact any way a threat to “democracy” between election day and Joe Biden’s coronation – the big story is our constitutional system worked.   It easily dealt with whatever “threat” Trump might have been. 

Your personality cultism is more appropriate for a Maoist dictatorship…

…but I suspect you know that, and are OK with it, since you will likely be one of the people in the dachas rather than the gulag, at least for a while.

But stop calling it democracy. 

That is all.

Walz: Where’s The Beef?

I’ve got a question for the hive mind of this blog.

Yesterday, Governor Klink made perhaps his most, to coin a term, “weird” attack on JD Vance:

Now, what he’s talking about is theWhich brings up the question – does the term “Runza” occur in Minnesota at all?

It’s apparently named after a chain of burger joints in Nebraska

And on that burger joint’s menu is a meat pie.

In North Dakota, it’d be called a Fleischkikla (German-Russian for the German Fleischküchle. In Northeast Minneapolis, it’s a Pierog. There are other names in other languages. They probably have a local term in Ohio that would flummox Klink

But in all my years in Minnesota – admittedly almost none of it in the First CD – I’ve never ever heard the term Runza. 

Am I missing something? 

Or is this literally the dumbest attempt at a dunk that Walz has ever tried?

A 20 Year Parade Of Lies – Prelude

We’ve known it in Minnesota for a while.  But the rest of the nation needs to know. 

Governor Walz has a tenuous relationship with the truth on topic after topic.

I want to put together the ultimate compendium of Tim Walz’s lies. And I need your help .

If you can recall an episode about which the Governor lied, drop it in the comments.  If you’ve got a link to “the receipts”, so much the better.  

I want this to be a resource for everyone who needs to prompt everyone to remember – or learn for the first time – what a, er, creative fella the Governor is. 

Pass the word. 

Walz: Artifice All The Way Down

Long ago, there were a couple of regular-ish commenters who felt the need to reinforce their claims by invoking information “from neighbors” living nearby them, who just happened to be world-class experts on the subject – but couldn’t be named, because they didn’t want to get pelted with questions from people from a blog. So we’d just have to take their word for it. 

It’s easier than looking up data to support your case, and it sounds more credible than just saying “in my opinion, yadda yadda”. 

It comes, I think, from being either being insecure in one’s own capability to hold up their end of the argument, or a need to stretch six square feet of factual tablecloth to over ten square feet of table. 

Governor Walz has been having a week of it.  We talked yesterday about his episode butting his time in the MN Guard up against a trip to Afghanistan he took as a congressman, without adding that little change of context in there. 

But it goes on:

Like Walz, I grew up on the Great Plains.

There are plenty of terms for “a blue-collar or ag-class person from a physically and/or socially isolated place”.

That term is never “Hillbilly”.   That term doesn’t occur organically on the Plains.   It comes via the media (“Beverly…”, “…Elegy”, dozens of country songs), or from the occasional transplant. 

But not organically. 

Walz is trying to appeal to the blue-collar white guy vote with which Harris is incredibly weak, and doing it with all the grace of an Australian break-dancer. 

Joy!

SCENE:   A small postwar “starter” home in New Hope, Minnesota.  It is about 10PM.  Josh McGILL, 35 year old estimator and sometimes technician for a family HVAC business, and Cassie McGILL, 33 and an office manager for a real estate firm, have finally gotten their kids to bed for the evening.  They are working on the bills as the evening news plays on the TV in the background.

JOSH:  Well, if we just had $100 more, the budget would be balanced.

CASSIE:  But Junior is going to need new skates for hockey soon.

JOSH:  Ugh.   I don’t know that I’m going to be able to get a lot over overtime.

CASSIE:  And then there’s the elephant in the room – this house is just too small for three kids. 

JOSH:  The way mortgage rates are going, we can’t afford to move.

CASSIE:  And with food up 30%, gas and heating up…

JOSH:  …don’t forget taxes on everything going up…

CASSIE:  …that too – I don’t know how we make that work. 

JOSH:  And with our commercial customers dropping like flies, we are going to wind up laying people off at this rate. 

CASSIE:  (sighs heavily). We’re still paying for that catalytic converter that got stolen.  What are we going to do?

(The TV mysteriously gets louder, and Kamala HARRIS and Tim WALZ dart their eyes to CASSIE and JOSH, through the screen)

HARRIS:  Feel joy!

JOSH:  DId you say something Cassie?

CASSIE:  It’s…the TV. 

HARRIS: 

WALZ:  Do it for One Minnesota!

CASSIE:  Oh, Madame Vice President and Governor Walz.  Hi.  It’s just that things are kinda…stressful…

(The sound of Beyonce’s song “Freedom” turns up, and HARRIS and WALZ start dancing)

JOSH:  It’s kinda like, prices have gone up way, way faster than our incomes, and business is slowing, and interest rates for my business are crazy, and whatever savings we have are getting bled out, and our kids school just isn’t doing the job, and…

(The music stops abruptly.  HARRIS and WALZ’s eletronic gazes fix upon the McGills)

WALZ:  Perhaps you weren’t listening.

HARRIS:  Don’t be weird ,Josh and Cassie.  Feel joy!  Because joy is what you should feel if you don’t want to be the weird person who isn’t feeling joy.

JOSH:  Er, that’s great, but it doesn’t…

HARRIS:  (Scowling). I said feel joy.

WALZ:  Now.  For One Minnesota.

HARRIS:  And One America, not weird America, a joyful America, unburdened by the weight of what has been.  

(And just as suddenly as they appeared, they are gone, as KARE 11 shows TikTok videos of the Saint Paul City Council dancing.)

CASSIE:  What was that?

JOSH:  I have no idea.

And SCENE.