Sources
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: Avery LIBRELLE is sitting in a dilapidated Subaru outside Mitch Berg’s house. LIBRELLE is peering through binoculars, and starts visibly when a glimpse of BERG is visible through the door window.
Shortly, BERG emerges, walking his golden retriever.
LIBRELLE: (Leaps from car). Merg!
BERG: (Turns sharply, then relaxes as alarm turns to a groaning acceptance) Oh, hi, Avery. (BERG notes the windows of LIBRELLE’s car). Um, been waiting long?
LIBRELLE: There’ve been seventeen killed in Chicago in the past ten days!
BERG: Right. And 117 total shot. So…?
LIBRELLE: By guns!
BERG: Right. It’s been in all the papers for years. Parts of Chicago are incredibly violent,l even with all of the celebrated gun control they have.
LIBRELLE: Hah! But those guns come from rural red states!
BERG: Come again?
LIBRELLE: You heard the President in his Town Hall meeting! All the guns used in urban shootings come from guys in vans selling them from their trunk in parking lots in rural red states!
BERG: Well, for starters, no, they’re mostly stolen. Often sold to others after being stolen. Some come from straw buyers. Almost none come from people selling otherwise legal guns.
LIBRELLE: But if guns weren’t so available in the neighboring areas, urban crime wouldn’t be so high.
BERG: If access to guns were the problem, wouldn’t the crime rate in rural Indiana be higher than in the middle of Chicago?
LIBRELLE: (Mouth flaps open and shut a few times, like a boated bass).
(BERG continues on his walk)
(And SCENE).
January 13th, 2016 at 12:38 pm
Ran into DG again, huh? Better you than me.
January 13th, 2016 at 1:10 pm
Avery LIBRELLE is sitting in a dilapidated Subaru outside Mitch Berg’s house. LIBRELLE is peering through binoculars
You sure it wasn’t a video camera? If you lived in a wealthy suburb adjacent to a seedy subdivision, I’d say LIBRELLE describes Steve “Spotty” Timmer, out spying on his more successful neighbors again.
January 13th, 2016 at 2:06 pm
I remember when I moved to Boulder for grad school, it struck me that the official car for environmentalists was almost invariably a dilapidated Subaru with visible emissions, generally also polluted by a mass of bumper stickers that may have served double duty in holding the thing together. They never seemed to grasp the irony of espousing environmentalism while driving a vehicle with blue smoke coming out the back.
January 13th, 2016 at 3:12 pm
Just imagine how much extra weight those poor cars had to bear from all those stickers, thereby decreasing their fuel economy.
January 13th, 2016 at 4:04 pm
I’ve heard claims that Chicago guns come from neighboring states where it’s much easier to acquire them legally. If I am to believe that I would have to see evidence of similar levels of shootings suffered in Chicago yet I do not. Interesting.
PS- Where are the Black Lives Matter protestors?
January 13th, 2016 at 10:31 pm
Sidenote, do these liberal activist types have a life outside of politics? I’m serious, last night instead of throwing stuff at the TV during Obama’s last (thank god) state of the union I was watching sports and south park, a much better use of my time I believe
January 15th, 2016 at 3:39 pm
Escape: well, there is Gary, Indiana, but there appears to be only one gun shop in Gary. So apparently not having very many gun shops causes people to kill each other with guns.
JPA: :^). But it was probably a safety enhancement, since they held those buckets of rust together. I once got a visit from so called “environmentalists” on a night when there was an air pollution warning. They had of course driven when the bus ran within a block of my home, I presume in a vehicle with visible emissions.