The Bathroom At The HyPsTr Nightclub Of The Soul
By Mitch Berg
Next to Michael Brodkorb, no center-right pundit in the Twin Cities generates more deranged irrationality than the Strib’s Katherine Kersten.
Lambert writes about one of her recent columns (doesn’t matter which; they all react the same no matter what she writes):
As we know, Ms. Kersten writes . . . in public . . . because Star Tribune management felt it was overdue for someone to counterbalance the pro-gladiatorial, pro-crotch shot, and pro-animal-like moan worldview of brutish males such as Doug Grow and Nick Coleman. But countering those two violence-drenched pornographers is a big, tough job. Do you have any idea how many Minnesotans are obsessed with gladiatorial stripper-pole moaning? A lot.
So I got to thinking: The Strib needs help. [Heh – Ed.] This is too much for one person. Which is where you come in. With the assistance of MSP Publishing’s marketing department—and this is real—we are offering a swank dinner for two—a $100 gift certificate to r. Norman’s—to whoever out there produces the best 500-word column that “Out Kerstens Kersten”. (E-mail your submission to blambert@mspmag.com).
Of course, Lamborghini (as G. Charles used to call him) is pilfing my material; it was in 2006-2007 that this blog started the “Columnist Parody” tradition in the local media with dare I say a brilliant assault on the oeuvre of Susan Lenfestey (poll and entries).
So in the interest of protecting my copyright, and because the Twin Cities’ pundosphere is such a rich vein of “talent”, it’s time to do another “Parody In The Dark” contest, where you, gentle reader, get to show the world the kind of “satire” Al Franken can’t even pull off.
The only real problem: picking who to parody. The environment is, indeed, that target-rich.
So here’s what we’ll do:
- Starting today, through Friday night, I’ll take nominations.
- I’ll run a poll early next week to pick our victim
- Once the subject is chosen, I’ll start the contest, probably next Tuesday; the objective will be to find the best parody of the selected writer.
The winner will receive some kind of reward. What, I don’t know; rest assured, it’ll pale compared to the pleasure you’ll bring millions.
As Charlie Quimby says:
Imitating clumsy writing is like purposely singing off-key. A professional will never be as convincing as the earnest and tone deaf amateur.
Amen, brother.
Bring on the tone-deafness!
(NOTE: Susan Lenfestey can not be nominated for this competition; she’s already “won” one).





August 20th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Susan LenfesteySyl Jones – humorless, ideological,racist,pretentious, lowbrow with aspirations to unibrow, and stultifying.August 20th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Keillor.
August 20th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Molly Priesmeyer
August 20th, 2008 at 9:43 am
Depending on how you define the word “writer”, but if it is a broad definition then I nominate little miss Precious Peev.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:20 am
A true challenge would be to attempt to enter the mind and imitate the “style” of Grace Kelly at MNBlue.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Chad,
What? You don’t remember our epic “Real Everyday Internet Hero” series? There were some solid “baseline hits” in those.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Eva Young
August 20th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Apart from the odd fisk here I rarely waste any time on them. I sure as Hell don’t read the Red Star.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Grace Kelly channelling Eva Young while doing an interview with Ken Weiner.
August 20th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
How about Rochelle Olson?
August 20th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Keillor. Come on, admit it: you want to write a folksy Lake Woebegone tale using the screaming invective of his columns.
August 20th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I almost did in this thread, nerdbert. Then I got a grip. Something Gary seems incapable of.
August 20th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Nick Coleman PLEASE. I’ve already got my Nick parody written.
August 21st, 2008 at 7:54 am
Nick Coleman’s been done a thousand times.
August 21st, 2008 at 1:09 pm
And Lileks has done Keillor too.
August 21st, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Yes, but only once.