Things I Will Probably Never See
By Mitch Berg
An abbreviated list:
- Tom Jones fans sitting back, scratching their chins, and saying “Engelbert Humperdinck really is a talented guy.
- Hugh Hewitt pronouncing a four-syllable name right on the first try.
- Me staying awake long enough to turn the dial away from the “Willie and Jay” show
- Scarlet Johannson and Kate Winslet getting into a knife fight over me.
Mark “Look At Me, I’m A Union Goon!” Gisleson, proprietor of the most profane, scatological (and sixth-most unintentionally funny) blog in the local Sorosphere, lecturing me about manners and propriety. Oops.- A worse movie than Little Nicky.
That is all.
September 26th, 2007 at 6:13 am
You actually watched Little Nicky? I’ve lost some respect for you.
September 26th, 2007 at 7:26 am
I certainly hope we will never see #4! If anything should happen to Scarlett’s beautiful breasts the blood I will hold YOU personally responsible.
September 26th, 2007 at 7:38 am
The words are all there, we just have to get them in the right order. I mean I don’t want Scarlett’s two redeeming qualitits to be damaged by a knife-wielding Kate Winslet. And shame on Mitch for conjuring such a horrid mental image.
September 26th, 2007 at 8:58 am
Speaking of pronunciations..
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102×3005163
Now personally, I consider the fact that the President of the United States actually NEEDS pronunciation prompters to be pretty darned telling, and hysterically funny.
Caracas.. wow, what a hard one. I wonder if he knows how to pronounce Putin, or maybe, lame duck?
and Mitch, posting something with strikethroughs is both snarky, and cowardly, it’s pretending to retract w/o doing so, it’s hardly funny, and I’ve a great sense of humor, laugh all day long honestly. If you want to take on someone, as a member of the LimbaughSphere, you need to actually do so. Go to his site, post if he allows it, if not, then he’s as classless as Powerline.
September 26th, 2007 at 8:59 am
and yeah, I get you weren’t retracting it here, I get that it was “oh, guess not”, but you’ve done the fake retraction thing so many times, it’s like a rubber chicken, it’s old, it’s lame, and you need some new material.
September 26th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Add-on to Mitch’s list:
6. Peevish using less than 8 commas in a single reply post.
September 26th, 2007 at 9:46 am
“I’ve a great sense of humor”
That’s actually the funniest thing peev/pb has ever written.
September 26th, 2007 at 10:10 am
“”LimbaughSphere””
I prefer ScaifeNet
“post if he allows it”
Due to unmanageable comment span, he has turned comments off and set up a Zanby group for interaction with his readers. Powerline has something similar with their forums, so to their credit, they do allow a form of commenting.
Flash
September 26th, 2007 at 10:46 am
Peevish / PB criticising someone else for being unfunny.
Now THAT’S chutzpah!
September 26th, 2007 at 10:50 am
it’s pretending to retract w/o doing so
No, it’s removing something from a list. No retraction is implied or given.
September 26th, 2007 at 10:51 am
I dunno peev. IIRC, news anchors have phonetic spelling on their teleprompters, so if trained professionals need this, I’d give dubya, a legendarily bad public speaker some slack.
September 26th, 2007 at 11:00 am
news anchors have phonetic spelling on their teleprompters
AP broadcast wire copy moves with “pronouncers” for any word that could possibly cause a broadcaster (radio or TV) to bobble; full phonetic breakdowns. That’s for people whose entire career involves speaking and speaking well. The AP also moves a special “pronouncers” item with phonetic breakouts for any words (esp. foreign names) that are currently in the news, for people writing their own copy.
If you want to take on someone, as a member of the LimbaughSphere, you need to actually do so.
There’s nothing to “take on”. I’m noting a pithy irony. That is all.
September 26th, 2007 at 11:07 am
I wouldn’t be surprised if they give him wrong pronunciations so he can come off like one of the regular boobs that voted for him.
September 26th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Now personally, I consider the fact that a regular commenter at this site who likes to lecture about the lessons of history can’t spell the names Hussein and Mussolini to be pretty darned telling, and hysterically funny.
September 26th, 2007 at 11:21 am
And I loved that line of Gislesons – “a contribution doesn’t make you an employee” or whatever. Presumably he’s talking about that “contribution” from Soros that never happened, noway, nohow, nosirreebob.
No, but I guess it makes you a prostitute.
September 26th, 2007 at 11:24 am
There’s nothing to “take on”. I’m noting a pithy irony. That is all.
So am I, I consider it a LOT MORE Ironic that the Prez needs pronunciation pointers on words as hard as Mauritania, Caracas, and extremist hyperventilating… err sorry, I meant he needs to be reminded not to be an extremist and to stop hyperventilating.. but that’s a different sotry.
I consider even MORE Ironic that you bring up pronunciation on the day Bush is exposed as being woefully ignorant about simple things like how to pronounce the capital of Venezuala, considering he rails against Hugo Chavez routinely.
And Chad, I don’t have the time to go look it up.. so tpphtththt, I’m certain you make misspellings pretty often.. it isn’t about spelling, it’s about being ignorant of simple facts. You aren’t, I’m not (as I’m sure you know), but apparently the Prez is. He’s not stupid, clearly, but he’s tragically ignorant. The fact is he DOES have the time to learn this stuff, but he doesn’t, didn’t. He is in constant OJT mode, as opposed to say, someone actually qualified to be President. As well, Chad, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the President – yet, I have a FAR FAR greater grasp of foriegn affairs and history than he does (as do you, as does Mitch). So I find it Hysterically FUNNY that you deflect criticism of this baffoon by directing spite toward me. Defensive much?
September 26th, 2007 at 11:31 am
So am I, I consider it a LOT MORE Ironic that the Prez needs pronunciation pointers on words as hard as Mauritania, Caracas, and extremist hyperventilating
Well, when I’ve seen you speak in public a few hundred times, I’ll take note of that opinion.
I consider even MORE Ironic that you bring up pronunciation
You brought it up.
And Chad, I don’t have the time to go look it up.. so tpphtththt,
So hang on a minute. Bush – a person whose clumsiness at speaking from prepared scripts is publicly noted, something about which the President is personally very self-deprecating, and very possibly a mild pathology – gets pronouncers to help him speak, for which you (plural) rag on him, but then, after declaring yourself an expert on history, you suddenly plead “no time?”
If it were me, Peev, you’d be screaming “HYPOCRISY”.
So I find it Hysterically FUNNY that you deflect criticism of this baffoon
Buffoon.
by directing spite toward me. Defensive much?
Chad is actually quite offensive.
September 26th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Peev says:
“And Chad, I don’t have the time to go look it up.. so tpphtththt, I’m certain you make misspellings pretty often. ”
Actually I pride myself on not doing that. I’m not all that great at spelling by nature, but with all the new-fangled spell-checking tools around I try to take the time to make sure I don’t make too many mistakes. One or two will slip by from time to time, but not “pretty often.”
Do you really need to look up names like Hussein and Mussolini? Anyone who is well-versed in current events or history should have come across those names thousands of times by now. I can understand the initial misspelling. But didn’t “Houssein” look a little odd after your typed it?
You believe that not being able to pronounce a name is a sign of ignorance yet dismiss not being able to spell it as unimportant.
I also find your time excuse amusing. You don’t have thirty seconds to Google a name, yet you seem to have plenty of time to write lengthy, multi-paragraph rants in Mitch’s comments section. Perhaps you should focus a little more on quality instead of quantity.
Finally, I don’t necessarily believe that pronunciation and ignorance are necessarily linked (knowing something and being able to pronounce it involve two different parts of the brain) and I am not nearly arrogant enough to believe that I have a greater grasp of foreign affairs and history than President Bush.
September 27th, 2007 at 7:50 am
Chad–>> “”I am not nearly arrogant enough to believe that I have a greater grasp of foreign affairs and history than President Bush.””
Even though you probably do *laughing*
Flash