Attention Messrs Gallup, Rasmussen, Quinnipiac And Zogby
By Mitch Berg
To: America’s Leading Pollers
From: Mitch Berg, Poll Consumer
Re: Polls We Can Use.
Sirs,
Via your polling, it’s become a fairly common meme that about a quarter of Republicans have some degree of question about President Obama’s birth certificate (ranging from questions to outright doubt that he’s a citizen), while a little over a third of Democrats believe on some level that former President Bush had advance knowledge of 9/11 (ranging, again, from belief that the President should have reacted to a purported intelligence assessment declaring an attack likely by waiting Jack Bauer-like at the head of a team of Marines at Logan/Newark airports on that fateful morning, to belief that Bush pushed the plunger on a controlled demolition of the WTC and then fired a cruise missile at the Pentagon).
Interesting enough.
But it’s time to turn some new sod. So I thought I’d turn to you, America’s leading poll jockeys, to find the information we really need.
How many Americans are…:
- Triggers: How many people believe that Trig Palin is really Bristol Palin’s child, but Sarah is making noises about raising him to…well, I’m not sure what the conspiracy is supposed to say. It is that addlepated. Anyway – how many?
- Gaggers: How many Americans still parrot the inane trope the media is “really conservative”, and thus government intervention is needed to ensure enough liberal thoughts get heard?
- Warmers: How many of us believe, despite the exposure of the rampant bad science, bullying and crass politics underpinning the theory of manmade global warming, that the science is “settled” and “past debate?”
- Toaders: What percentage of people think Helen Thomas is a credible journalist?
- Floozers: The same, but in re Maureen Dowd?
- Reporters: How many people still believe the Administration is “moderate?”
- Tinglers: What ratio of Americans don’t make derisive faces when Chris Matthews appears on the TV? (See also: Coopers)
- Dead-Airers: How many Americans still have “Air America” bumperstickers on their cars/bikes/dogs?
- Kruggers: How many people still mindlessly recite Paul Krugman’s infamous, innumerate, context-deprived trope about red states getting more tax money back than they put in?
- Healthers: Who still believes, after a year of fact to the contrary, that Obamacare will cover more people for less money?
- Dumpers: How many people believe that the external manifestations of Bachmann Derangement don’t help Sixth District rep Michele Bachmann’s electoral chances?
- Crashers: How many Americans believe that, despite the fact that government both actively legislated subprime mortgage lending and subsidized the obscene profits (and socialized the now-obvious risks), the current credit crisis is purely a result of free-enterprise and greed?
Thank you for your attention to this vital matter.
That, again, is all.
March 24th, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Toaders made me laugh out loud. Nice one, Mitch
Gibbers: Believe a single word that emanates from the mouth of the WH Press Secretary?
March 24th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
So you’re pumping up your stat about 9/11 conspiracy nuts (1/3 of Dems? Angryclown calls bullshit. Where’s your data?) by including those who think the Shrub adminstration dropped the ball in the lead-up to 9/11? Please. Simply recognizing, along with the 9/11 Commission, that there was evidence that could have derailed the plot if terrorism had been higher on Shrub’s priority list, ain’t exactly the same as claiming the Pentagon plane was an empty drone or that the CIA blew up 7 WTC.
March 24th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
angryclown said:
“Angryclown calls bullshit”
As opposed to just spouting it. You know, the usual.
March 24th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Clown:
So you’re pumping up your stat about 9/11 conspiracy nuts (1/3 of Dems? Angryclown calls bullshit. Where’s your data?)
Here you go – again.
by including those who think the Shrub adminstration dropped the ball in the lead-up to 9/11?
Reread what I wrote. Or read it all the way through for the first time. I allowed for that – just as I did the same on the “Birther” side.
Please. Simply recognizing, along with the 9/11 Commission, that there was evidence that could have derailed the plot if terrorism had been higher on Shrub’s priority list, ain’t exactly the same as claiming the Pentagon plane was an empty drone or that the CIA blew up 7 WTC.
Which I noted, above.
Which doesn’t mean Dems aren’t whackdoodles, but I did in fact qualify my observations pretty carefully.
You skipped classes the day they taught Reading Komprension at Klown Kollege, didncha?
March 24th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Confirmation from a Scripps poll:
http://www.scrippsnews.com/911poll
I like this line from the story:
Members of racial and ethnic minorities, people with only a high school education and Democrats were especially likely to suspect federal involvement in 9/11.
Emphasis mine -‘cuz it’s so funny!
Angry Clown — whacko party member, 1st class!
March 24th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
“Reporters” is the best! Dry. Very dry.
March 25th, 2010 at 6:02 am
Angryclown’s apologies – you don’t need to pull stats out of your ass when you’ve got Rasmussen to do it for you. (Nice job on the four-year-old poll there, Terry.)
Whatever the numbers, anyone who thinks Bush staged 9/11 or stood by and let it happen is an idiot. Anyone with “questions” about the president’s birth is also an idiot.
March 25th, 2010 at 7:51 am
you don’t need to pull stats out of your ass when you’ve got Rasmussen to do it for you.
Or, put another way, “when they’re correct”.
And Rasmussen called the last two elections closer than anyone. If you wanna call ’em “Republican leaning”, that’s your call; they do get the facts straight, so it kinda fits.
March 25th, 2010 at 7:53 am
Whatever the numbers,
“Shut up”, Clown explained.
anyone who thinks Bush staged 9/11 or stood by and let it happen is an idiot. Anyone with “questions” about the president’s birth is also an idiot.
Well, doy.
I’ve told my people.
You tell yours. And the animals, too. Since Obama will be trying to get them voting, too.
March 25th, 2010 at 9:01 am
Mitch: “You tell yours. And the animals, too. Since Obama will be trying to get them voting, too.”
Yeah, like we’re gonna still be having elections.
What part of “Socialist Totalitarianism” don’t you get?
March 26th, 2010 at 12:34 am
They have elections in socialist totalitarian countries, Angry Clown.
One name on the ballot. High turnout.
March 26th, 2010 at 10:50 am
Liberal Fascism is a lot more “nuanced” than Socialist Totalitarianism, AssClown.