Back From Vacation
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: A “domestic” set in a media production room in DC. Two Staffers, CHAD and JOSHUA, and two Harris staffers, COURTNEY and CLAUDE, are going over footage from an attempt to shoot a video.
COURTNEY: OK, try take 45:
KAMALA HARRIS (on playback) “Hey, I’m Kamala Harris, and I spent the past week or two getting unburdened by what has been, raging on Jäger shots and weapons-grade weed, and trying to…
CLAUDE: That’s not gonna work.
COURTNEY: What else we got?
JOSHUA: Well, let’s just say this ad campaign is…um…
CHAD: Unburdened by a great take.
CLAUDE: Well, I’m afraid that means the best take is…
COURTNEY: 63.
CHAD: Hard to say. She smelled like a three day bender the whole time.
COURTNEY: (shrugs shoulders) Let’s try and see it again.
JOSHUA: (presses button)
The four wince visibly.
COURTNEY: Seriously? The best take?
JOSHUA: Er…
CHAD: Yep. That’s as good as it gets.
CLAUDE: We could try again when she’s sobered up?
COURTNEY: OMG, she’s worse when she’s hung over.
CLAUDE: (shakes head). What the hell. Post it.
CHAD: ( posting the video). Here comes the joy!
And SCENE!
UPDATE: I mean, look what they had to choose from?
November 27th, 2024 at 9:43 am
First, I wonder how much money those new Minnesota flag pins cost that the barking seal is wearing?
Second, post election polling revealed that the turning point for many voters that voted Republican, was her speech on the Elipse.
Third, as I drive through south Minneapolis this morning, I’m having a great chuckle over the die hard DemoCommies that still have their “Harris Walz” campaign signs still in their front yards. Someone put their artistic talents to use by spray painting the word “LOST” on several of them. A couple of them were posted next to Ilhan’s. Pure gold!
November 27th, 2024 at 10:19 am
Kamala has always remained true to type:
– she got where she is by being a whore
– she is still and will remain an aging whore!
give her a $100 bill, write down what you want her to say and she will try to say it like she means it.
November 27th, 2024 at 11:22 am
OK, something’s been bugging me; do we know Kamala is a drunk, or is it just an inference that one makes from her inability to speak in coherent sentences without becoming terribly trite?
Confession; I’ve not spent enough time around drunks to reliably spot a high functioning alcoholic. I was told I worked for one, and the signs I got were not the smell of anything, but rather a pervasive cruelty that led to lots of people leaving “to get a real job”, or worse yet, staying and working at a third the normal speed.
Well, that’s consistent with her staff turnover rate, I guess.
November 27th, 2024 at 1:29 pm
How can they call it a “grassroots” message when the Dem voters are concentrated in big urban areas that are paved over? The only thing green there is the AstroTurf.
November 27th, 2024 at 2:03 pm
Bike,
It’s a tough call. I used to work in bars, and before that I worked with and for several drunk of various levels of functionality.
Harris checks some of the checkboxes: the dragging out of syllables as she thinks of what’s coming next, the sometimes (irreguarly!) sloppy diction, the occasional over-enunciation…
None of them are 100% indicators, but there’s a correlation.
November 28th, 2024 at 1:38 am
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