Recalibration
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: In a conference room at the MN DFL headquarters. Chair Ken Martin is sitting along one side of the table with Gretel STROMBERG and Inge “Lucky” CARROLL, the executive director and chief social media meme-buffer at “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”, the state’s primary non-profit political action committee that is no way, no how connected with the DFL, you racist pig. Across the table sits Chad MANBUNFRONDSON, upper midwest outreach director for the Harris/Walz campaign
MANBUNFRONDSON: So for some reason the Harris/Walz campaign is having trouble among men, especially whyte men.
CARROLL: (Hisses theatrically)
STROMBERG: Stupid wypipo
MARTIN: Worst people in the universe.
CARROLL: Unless they’re trans men.
STROMBERG: Who are men.
MARTIN: But of course.
MANBUNFRONDSON: We’ve tried treating them like infants. How’d that work?
CARROLL: To my amazement, that did not poll well.
MANBUNFRONDSON: And we tried social media sizzle, creating an entire group for them.
STROMBERG: Polls show most men found it (reads notes) “so patronizing it felt like a Babylon Bee parody” at best, insulting at worst”.
MARTIN: Whaaaaaa?
MANBUNFRONDSON: And picking Tim Walz – the manliest man to ever weedwhip a lawn, didn’t do the trick?
MARTIN: Most of the guys on my staff agree.
CARROLL: Uhhhhh….
MANBUNFRONDSON: And telling them that Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff are the new models of masculinity?
STROMBERG: Kind of a bad news/bad news situation there.
MANBUNFRONDSON: Huh?
MARTIN: The bad news is, most men thought Walz is a (checks notes) “doughy, lying little weasel”, and Emhoff is a “philanderingt sh**stick”.
STROMBERG: And the other bad news is, the move backfired pretty spectacularly.
MANBUNFRONDSON: Huh. So nothing’s worked.
(The others shrug with exasperationˆ)
MANBUNFRONDSON: OK. It’s time to release the Kraken.
MARTIN: Yeah, that should do it.
STROMBERG: (Chef’s kiss)
And SCENE
October 30th, 2024 at 1:27 pm
There are plenty of Republican candidates that I’m happy to vote for. Trump really isn’t one of them. He’s getting my vote next week more because I’m voting against this type of insanity.