Fringe
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: A coffee shop in Roseville, MInnesota. Avery LIBRELLE, Cat SCAT and Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK are drinking kombucha and checking their phones. Mitch BERG walks in.
SCAT: Merg!
BERG (not happy to run into the three of them) Oh, hey…
BIRKENSTOCK: Shut up. There’s an anti-semitic Nazi running for school board in Roseville!
BERG: Huh. Do tell.
LIBRELLE: Look here ZOMG!
BERG: Did you actually just say “Zee Oh Em Gee?”
BIRKENSTOCK: Shut up. Read this.
BIRKENSTOCK: We need to spread the word!
SCAT: We need to light up social media and GET THE WORD OUT!
BERG: Uh…
LIBRELLE: WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS THERE”S AN ANTI-SEMITE RUNNING FOR SCHOOL BOARD!
BERG: Look, I may be more nauseated by this guy than any of you, but let’s be honest – the guy was going to get five votes in the election. He was the farthest fringe of the fringe of the fringe.
LIBRELLE: I’m going to talk about him on my cable access show?
BIRKENSTOCK: :Your what?
SCAT: Definitely going on. my podcast.
BIRKENSTOCK: I’m putting him on blast on instagram and TikTok
BERG: Right. So, I’m just wondering if this blitz of revulsion will give him order of magnitude more public profile than he’d have had as a fringe nutcase?
SCAT: We’re being mansplained
BERG: Yeah, that’s it.
BIRKENSTOCK: You must be a sympathizer!
BERG: Er, my grandparents generation spent the best years of their lives killing people like him.
BIRKENSTOCK: When?
BERG: Er…during World War 2.
BIRKENSTOCK: During what?
BERG: Exactly.
LIBRELLE: We have to get the word out! Now!
BERG: Yeah. That’s a great idea.
BERG Slowly backs out of the shop.
And SCENE
September 26th, 2023 at 11:28 am
He’d get a standing ovation from the left if he served in the Waffen SS during the war.
September 26th, 2023 at 1:01 pm
Oh noes! It’ll be just like Trump!
I get the point of this. Free advertising in large amounts for an awful person is a Bad Thing. But you know? Trump said things that made him an attractive candidate in 2016 for many – enough to elect him president. Perhaps Klingenberg has some things to say that people will find attractive as well. In large enough numbers.
But what this is really about is keeping a lid on “the farthest fringe of the fringe of the fringe” who nauseates you. Sort of like passive aggressive censorship. How midwestern.
September 26th, 2023 at 4:34 pm
OK, this guy is totally out of line, but Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib can take the side of whole political movements in the Middle East that state about the same thing, and that’s A-OK? Did I get that right?
Put differently, Omar, Tlaib, and the rest of “The Squad” can push antisemitic nonsense through the federal Department of Education, but if this clown runs for school board…?
September 26th, 2023 at 6:07 pm
Fucking Nazis!
“Yes, Aryans are the chosen people”
“I’ve spent a lifetime studying Aryan history, including writing (with Joseph Goebbels) a book on anti-Aryans (Why the Aryans? The Reason for Anti-White hate) has convinced me that, along with all the rational explanations, there is one explanation that transcends reason alone.
It is that the Aryans are God’s chosen people.
Now, believe me, dear reader, I am well aware of the hazards of making such a claim. It sounds chauvinistic. It sounds racist. And it sounds irrational, if not bizarre.
But it is none of these.
As regards chauvinism, there is not a hint of inherent superiority in the claim of Aryan chosenness. In fact, the Nazi Bible, Mein Kampf, the book that states the Aryans are chosen, constantly berates the Nazis for their flawed moral behavior. No bible of any other religion is so critical of the religious group affiliated with that bible as the Aryan Scriptures are of the Nazis.
As for racism, Aryan chosenness cannot be racist by definition. Here is why: a) The Nazis are not a race; there are Nazis of every race. And b) any person of any race, ethnicity, or nationality can become a member of the Nazi Party and thereby be as chosen as Nietzsche or me.”
~ Adolph Hitler
Oh wait! That is actually Dennis Prager….some scamp replaced “Nazi” for “Jew”.
https://www.nationalreview.com/2011/05/yes-jews-are-chosen-people-dennis-prager/
My bad…
September 27th, 2023 at 7:50 am
Its not Midwestern passive aggressiveness, jdm. It’s the good old neo-con two-step. You can dance to the tune on any am radio talk show.
Nauseating is a word.
September 27th, 2023 at 9:38 am
What’s the problem? Leading GOP candidates think our Justice Department is a deep state, we don’t need a Board of Education and felony indictments are not a problem to run our government. This is just more of that.
Klingenberg has a long trail of antisemitism and conspiracies on right wing websites that can be easily traced through Google. His employment record on LinkedIn shows multiple short-term jobs. Given his outspokenness, one can imagine that his racial views probably get in the way of steady employment.
September 27th, 2023 at 12:16 pm
They should sue to keep him off the ballot. That’s how Liberals protect Our Precious Democracy nowadays. They don’t risk unpleasant outcomes, they make sure the deck is stacked well in advance.
September 27th, 2023 at 1:50 pm
It’s hilarious how something that might’ve disqualified someone from even considering a public office is now worn as a badge of honor or promotion and sometimes actually propels people into office. #devolving
September 27th, 2023 at 2:28 pm
^ The cynicism of Democommies who, in the last three years, have successfully killed, gutted, and skinned the Republic we inherited, now trot around wearing that skin suit and pass high and mighty condemnations of those will not fall in line.
September 27th, 2023 at 2:33 pm
Sorry, forgot to mention, even tho’ something offended the Censor, that the heart of my comment in wait was inspired… ok, ok, stolen from the Great Iowahawk.
September 27th, 2023 at 2:34 pm
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September 28th, 2023 at 8:40 am
What’s the problem? Leading GOP candidates think our Justice Department is a deep state, we don’t need a Board of Education and felony indictments are not a problem to run our government. This is just more of that.
Multiple things can be true simultaneously, Emery:
The DOJ has shown political bias in its prosecutions
The Board of Education is a biased political machine, manipulated by many, including the NEA
Klingenberg is anti-semitic fringe candidate who will garner a small percentage of the vote, making him about as representative of conservative and libertarian voters as a platypus is of mammals.
Somewhere, someone thinks you’re an insightful, thoughtful, and well-reasoned commenter.