Good Racket
By Mitch Berg
Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
San Francisco will pay you not to shoot people. Baltimore considering it.
It sounds like the old joke about getting paid not to raise hogs, but apparently it’s real.
The government just gave fully-automatic machine guns to the Taliban. They’re paying criminals not to shoot each other. I’d like a full-auto machine gun and I won’t shoot anybody with it, pinkie-swear.
How do I get in on this action?
Joe Doakes
I’m just wondering how I would put in for back pay.
September 3rd, 2021 at 6:09 am
Tony Soprano is smiling now. Talk about no-show jobs for crooks.
September 3rd, 2021 at 9:06 am
Kind of reminds me of the “we will pay you $100 to get the jab”.
Why not hold out for $200?
So I’m thinking of this “we will pay you not to shoot people”.
Why not up the victim count to raise the payout?
I got a better idea, why not put people who shoot people in jail, like forever?
I know, I know, it’s crazy and won’t work because jail is SOOOO expensive.
Buy hey, why not dust off “old sparky” and fry ’em?
I know, I know, that’s a crazy idea too because the “forever war” of legal wrangling is also too expensive.
So why not elect and appoint judges who will say, “enough is enough”?
I know, I know……..crazy.
September 3rd, 2021 at 9:11 am
Did anyone check if the editor of Onion runs SF? You just can’t make this shit up!
September 3rd, 2021 at 9:25 am
Certain Liberals suggest hospitals should not treat Covid victims who were not vaccinated because it’s their own fault they’re sick.
A buddy suggests this principle be extended to gang-bangers found shot. Let them bleed out and save a bundle on court costs while reducing prison overcrowding and eliminating recidivism. What’s not to love?