Shot in the Dark

Playbook

Joe Doakes from Como park emails:

A friend explains how The Big Steal will work.

Joe Biden is senile, the election was stolen and everybody knows it, whether or not they admit it. Kamela Harris is incompetent and hated more than Hillary. Neither of those buffoons is the real Usurper whom The Big Steal was intended to install in office. The Usurper is secretly running things now but can’t officially take office until the placeholders are gone. How do they do it?

Harris is already dead but they’re hiding the body waiting for Afghanistan to blow over. The Usurper is waiting in the wings to be confirmed as Vice President. As soon as he is, Biden will be removed as senile. The Usurper moves into the Oval Office, some other patsy takes the Veep job, Congress goes back to debating how many helicopter loads of money to dump into the economy to maintain the illusion of economic success, and the new administration goes to war on the American way of life.

Who is it?

Joe Doakes

It’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard this week.

That would be “Joe Biden is doing a great job”.

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Mitch Berg

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15 responses to “Playbook”

  1. Bill Peterson's chin twat Avatar
    Bill Peterson’s chin twat

    I don’t think Kameltoe really wants the top job. She’s got a gig right now with all the same perks, but no accountability.

    She’s supposed to be focused on the border disaster like a laser, providing the smoke and mirrors. But she’s off to Asia, to show them just how vulnerable the round eyes have become…cackling her way around the Pacific rim in AF2, while pedo Joe gets left holding the bag for it all.

    Fuck that up for a bigger office? She’s stupid, but not that stupid.

  2. Bill Peterson's chin twat Avatar
    Bill Peterson’s chin twat

    Y’all notice there really hasn’t been any coverage of Kameltoe’s excellent adventure?

    That’s because she’s not doing shit.

  3. Paddyboy Avatar
    Paddyboy

    Seriously, you think this is less crazy than the overall job Biden’s doing? Seriously? Well, I guess that explains a lot.

    On the economy: I’d grade Biden a B.
    The DOW is “at it’s all time highest”, making this the greatest economy in the history of the world (this was the standard Trump and you cons used, I remember when you said, “Hey, don’t like Trump, how’s your 401k doing?) as if that was some sort of evidence of widespread prosperity or success even while wages were stagnant. Biden’s clear act was to stimulate when needed. He also worked out an infrastructure deal that Trump NEVER could get done (despite being the “Art of the Deal” man who said it’d all be so easy).

    The GDP will rebound sharply this year, it would have been even better had ole’ Cheetoh Hitler not poo-poo’ed the severity of COVID. I had to laugh when he was booed for telling people to get vaccinated in Alabama. Boy how he ran like a scared little man when that happened. “Get vaccinated” (boo) “Oh, wait, you still have yer freedumbs” Jeez, talk about weak. Unemployment is falling rapidly. I don’t really credit Biden for that, just as I didn’t credit Trump for the ultra-low unemployment he inherited from his betters, including Biden. Trump never really had any material impact on trade balance or manufacturing, he never “brought back” millions of manufacturing jobs and his mismanagement of COVID helped to usher in an economic catastrophe.

    On the virus: I’d grade him an A-/B+
    Biden got 100 M doses out to people in 54 days, Trump, 2 million in his first 30. Trump had months to plan logistics, did nothing. Talked about states rights, funny how little he cares about local governance when states step on local municipalities, but that’s a hypocrisy for another day. Trump had AMPLE time to plan, but instead he fiddled, and worried about a perfectly fair election. The bottom line is the most recent surge is almost entirely the fault of you right-wing anti-science types. We were nearly at 50% vaccinated by 7/1 as the people who were willing to get vaccinated did, and as of 8/1 we were hardly better as all of you who refuse to take accountability for yourself and instead will “let other people” do the work of protecting you by a. wearing masks to help prevent THEM from spreading it to YOU – masks aren’t to protect you, nimrods. and b. got vaccinated. Yet, that left nearly 50% unvaccinated and exposed to the FAR more transmissible and deadlier Delta variant. Even as people like Dr. Fauci SAW this coming in June, you made fun of him and pretended it wouldn’t matter, you’d be fine. The result ER’s/hospitals in Florida, Texas, and really the entire south are inundated with cases with what was a preventable wave. You have ONLY yourselves to blame.

    On that point, Mitch, I want to give you an update on the FL/NY comparison. You remember I’m sure, the one where you claimed that by election day NY would still have more deaths than Florida, a meaningless cherry-picked stat as the virus hit NY far earlier and far harder and importantly BEFORE life-saving treatments were identified. Here is a stat for you to chew on. From 3/1/2020 to 6/1/2020, per the CDC, NYC alone had 600,000 cases and roughly 18,000 deaths (the stat had another 20% or so, so let’s round that to 20k deaths). Florida by contrast had fewer than 500 deaths and case totals were perhaps 50k – that’s being overly generous it was likely less, the virus really was just getting started, but FL had the benefit of a. time to plan and b. better treatments. Since then, and these two states have near the same population, so this is an apples to apples compare – NY has had about 33,000 deaths and about 1.6M cases. FL has, by contrast had 3 MILLION cases and 42,000 deaths. So, since 6/1, NY is FAR better than FL in treating and managing the disease mostly due to getting vaccinated but also due to masking and following distancing protocols. NY isn’t some wasteland of economy calamity, either. In fact, NYC is more open/active than about any other city in the US BECAUSE it was so insistent on following protocols. How’s Miami doing handling the virus right now? The answer is, terrible. So, again, only yourselves to blame.

    On foreign policy: I’d grade him a B-
    He restored our allies faith, to a degree, in our word. They had completely lost faith in Trump, who’d I’d grade an F.
    Trump signed a deal to leave Afghanistan within a relatively brief period of time so long as the Taliban adhered to certain rules. Of course, Trump was stupid enough to believe they WOULD keep their word, just like he trusted Kim Jong Un. Unlike Trump, but like OTHER Presidents, Biden understood the need to be consistent or lose the trust nations have in the US that our policy won’t jerk back and forth every 4 or 8 years, making our treaties worthless. So, Biden agreed to leave, and set a definitive timetable. What he didn’t do, though, was anticipate the Afghan government and it’s army, would collapse. He should have, and we get a serious black-eye to our national psyche from it – but as I said before, how the hell we didn’t think this was coming is beyond me. I think Biden should likely have surged troops before any withdrawal, and only withdrawn once all of those who sought asylum were out, but leave we certainly should have done, long ago. Bush, Obama, and TRUMP were gutless and wouldn’t cut the cord. McCain was wrong to assert we should stay in Iraq 50 years, and we were even more foolish to think we should stay in Afghanistan. I credit Trump for realizing it but I think he was a coward for not being willing to swallow the pill and do it. For someone who was going to “shake things up” and “do things unconventionally” he rarely took even the slightest political risk – because he was chicken pooh, ultimately. So, if you think Biden is a screw-up, what did you think of Trump? He blew our national rep in Syria, took credit for Obama’s anti-ISIS surge in Iraq, gave Kim Jong Un free press for nothing, handed Syria back to Bashar Assad, in no way contained China, and emboldened Russia to re-engage in the Donbas.

    So, Mitch, the only thing crazier than saying Biden’s doing a great job this week would be to suggest Trump did a great job in his four years. He was a dismal failure on the international stage. Biden’s President now, sure, but the fact that Trump was never stopped you from deflecting off on Obama – eat the crow you serve.

  4. jdm Avatar
    jdm

    It’s a clever debate tactic… of course, this isn’t the first time troll-boy has done this. Step one, make a ton of dubious assertions by writing so much incoherent BS that’s it’s difficult to respond. I mean, where to begin? And then, step two, the follow-up trick is to not respond to counterarguments.

    Guess he showed us. Or someone.

  5. Night Writer Avatar
    Night Writer

    pb;dr.

    Some may have thought Cuomo was the secret usurper, but the real usurper had him removed from the board as well. Hillary? That would likely lead to a full-blown civil war, and besides, she’s not that smart or that subtle. No, after Kamala’s plane mysteriously goes missing over the Pacific (like another trail-blazer, Amelia Earhart), the usurper will be younger, dynamic, able “to get things done”. Start checking the various PR firms for clues.

  6. bosshoss429 Avatar
    bosshoss429

    Night,
    Or she could crash into a mountain like Ron Brown. Can’t remember if or how he crossed Slick Willy.

  7. Emery Avatar
    Emery

    Where alternate reality implodes in the wake of actual reality. When you’re Joe Doakes, you don’t realize how thin the line is between colorful and crazy.

  8. Bill Peterson's chin twat Avatar
    Bill Peterson’s chin twat

    On foreign policy: I’d grade him a B-
    He restored our allies faith, to a degree, in [sic] our word.

    Did he really mean to post that? Was it sarcasm? lmao

    Every time I see some chud driving a car alone, wearing a maskie, I think of Peevee….then I change lanes and accelerate the hell out of his crash zone.

  9. kinlaw Avatar
    kinlaw

    Lol, I saw that patsy had left a comment but I had to run off to work, so I didn’t see how LOOOOONG it is, ha ha ha.

    One of the tycoons of the 19th century Rockefeller or DuPont or some such would respond to people who came to him with an idea that “if you can’t write your idea on the back of my business card then you don’t understand it well enough yourself.”

    If you can’t make your point on a blog like this in a short paragraph or two then you don’t have a point, all you are doing is making noise.

    Funny how it’s only the trolls who drop the BIG steamers here.

  10. kinlaw Avatar
    kinlaw

    There is probably a strong faction who are angling to get Hills in as veep under Harris, in which case Kameltoe can start making her own arrangements IYKWIMAITYD.

  11. Joe Doakes Avatar
    Joe Doakes

    The P-diddy is right about one thing: GNP will soar. That’s because the formula for GNP is: Y = C + I + G + X + Z

    C – Consumption Expenditure
    I – Investment
    G – Government Expenditure
    X – Net Exports (Value of imports minus value of exports)
    Z – Net Income (Net income inflow from abroad minus net income outflow to foreign countries)

    If no consumer bought anything, we never exported anything, and nobody sent us any money from overseas, the government spending $5 trillion new dollars would make the result look spectacular. The economy is roaring, hooray!

    Which is a stupid lie, of course. But saying so contradicts The Narrative and will get you banned from social media.

  12. Ian Avatar
    Ian

    Paddyboy: essay-length rant that only the most masochistic would bother reading.

    The appropriate response: “Sir, this is a Wendy’s”.

  13. Night Writer Avatar
    Night Writer

    Well, isn’t this interesting: Kamala Harris’s trip has been delayed by an “Autonomous Health Incident”.

  14. Joe Doakes Avatar
    Joe Doakes

    Yeah, bullet in the back of the head will do that to you. Good thing they have a walk-in freezer on Air Force 2 to preserve her body until it’s convenient for it to be found, most likely backstage at some Biden rally in a Red state where the FBI can grab whoever is standing around to pin it on him until he can be Epsteined. Say, what’s Richard Jewell up to these days?

    That’s all easy and obvious – the real question remains: who’s the Mystery Usurper being groomed to take Kammie’s place?

  15. justplainangry Avatar
    justplainangry

    Mayor Pete of course! Fits every cross-sectionality.

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