Let’s Cool Things Down

SCENE: A conference room at “Minnesotans for All Progressive Causes” – a non-profit group financed by progressives with deep pockets – for the weekly message coordination meeting.

MyLyssa Silberman, reporter for National Public Radio’s Saint Paul bureau, covering the “Fake News” and “Diversity” beats, waits in the conference room along with Betty Rae Torstengaardsen, senior staff writer at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog “MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“, sit, along with Mesme PHURPHY, elite objective political reporter from WCCO-TV They nervously check their watches.

Eventually, Gretel Stromberg Executive Director of “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”, and Inge “Lucky” Carroll, Executive Director of “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”, enter the room.

CARROLL: (Looks at Silberman and Torstengaardsen and Phurphy, clears throat).

SILBERMAN, PHURPHY AND TORSTENGAARDSEN: (quickly rise from their seats)

STOMBERG: Be seated. (All sit, with STROMBERG at the head of the table). Americans are rejecting the term “insurrection” to describe the January 6 riot. We need to come up with another term.

PHURPHY: How about ‘genocide’?

CARROLL: Love the energy, Mesme, but it might be a bit of an overreach.

TORSTENGAARDSEN: I mean, ‘riot’ pretty much sums it up.

(STROMBERG and CARROLL cough nervously).

TORSTENGAARDSEN: Er…never mind.

SILBERMAN: ‘Coup’ usually implies the elites seizing control. ‘Insurrection’ implies a sustained, military campaign, like the Viet Cong or the IRA.

STROMBERG: I’ll go with “Putsch“.

(The three “journalists” sit, somewhat agape. Finally, SILBERMAN speaks)

SILBERMAN: So – a term that, outside a very thin film of political science and history academics, refers in American English solely to Hitler’s abortive 1922 Munich coup attempt?

(The three “journalists” look at each other)

PHURPHY: Works for me.

TORSTENGAARDSEN: Yep.

SILBERMAN: I hear and obey.

STROMBERG: (abruptly rising) Make it so. (Leaves the room with CARROLL).

And SCENE

10 thoughts on “Let’s Cool Things Down

  1. Mitch, is your new job writing manuals for progressives, like Orwell?

  2. Those involved in Jan 6 are busted, dead to rights, nailed to the wall: they found “Lego Capitol Building” man.

    It’s over, turn the lights out, stick a fork in it, it’s done.

  3. PS: I thought Trump urged them on just minutes before? But now it’s clear: “Lego Capitol Building Man” had it planned for weeks.

    I had thought the only danger Lego’s posed was stepping on one barefoot.

    Now we know the horrible truth.

  4. Further investigation by the FBI has uncovered another potential “InnseRReksHun”: Lego Man was planning on assaulting Hogwarts Castle, using the Millennium Falcon as his attack vehicle.

  5. Well…….

    It definitly was a “Putch”, because like Bill Moyers mentioned there was a guy wearing “a horned helmet and red, white and blue face paint”.

    I mean…..that’s what I wear to all my putches.

    I once admired Moyers for his Joseph Campbell interviews, but since then I came to know that he never was more than a butt-kissing hack.

  6. Ha! If that Lego capitol building is an illustration of a leader of the insurrection, I should call the FBI and narc on my liberal sister in law. She built it a couple of years ago.

  7. Man, decisions, decisions… the putsch was planned far in advance using a perfectly scaled replica of the Capitol building or Trump instigated it that very day in a speech he gave 20 minutes after the putsch started.

  8. the putsch was planned far in advance using a perfectly scaled replica of the Capitol building

    “At 1500 hours, we rendezvous here [motions with laser pointer] at the statue of Harry Byrd.”

    “Uh?”

    “What now?”

    “Isn’t that Chewbacca from your kid’s Star Wars lego set?”

    [Exasperated] “Can’t I get just a little cooperation?”

    “Sure, but Chewbacca? Seriously?”

    “Work with me here, okay?”

    Okay, but chewbacca?…….[snarf]

    “Hey dumbass, next putch….you’re not invited.

  9. Mitch -this setup is a completely outrageous slur against Mesme PHURPHY. She’s much too important to go to their office. They come to hers to give her the word.

    And they bring mouthwash so she’s ready for her next boot-licking “interview!”

  10. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 07.08.21 : The Other McCain

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