President Of Convenience

SCENE: Mitch BERG is out on his porch waiting for some food delivery. He’s committed – can’t go inside yet – when Avery LIBRELLE happens around the corner.


BERG: Uh, hey, Avery…

LIBRELLE: Stop with all the scare talk. Joe Biden is a moderate.

BERG: Biden is a moderate in the exact same sense that Brooke Shields was George Michael’s girlfriend in the ’80s.

LIBRELLE: What? Go on…

BERG: In the ’80s, various publicists circulated the story that Brooke Shields was dating George Michael – a fantastic singer who tripped every ‘gaydar’ set in the world when “Wham UK” started releasing music videos.

The “Relationship” was imposed on the couple, and the world, by the execs at Michael’s label for a bunch of reasons; in an age when being “gay” was still pretty closet-y and the likes of Freddy Mercury and Elton John kept their orientations very much under the radar, it protected Michael’s marketability. It benefitted both of their careers. It kept the whole “is he gay?” discussion from hampering record sales. And it was neither of their idea – it was a concoction of publicists working for their various record, studio and management companies, to keep everyone’s nests feathered.


BERG: Biden is the same thing. He was brought in to put a “crazy grampa” veneer on a party whose extremism has exploded like a diet Coke with a Mento dropped in. To make incipient communism less scary for soccer moms.

LIBRELLE: That’s just…

BERG: Just what?

LIBRELLE: I’m torn between “Racist” and “Anti-Palestinian”.

BERG: Naturally…

BERG’s delivery arrives.


57 thoughts on “President Of Convenience

  1. Reek, Reek! Focus, dimwit..

    Forget Drumpf, he’s not in office now. Let’s explore your lies.

    Why did you say you were spending winter in the UP of Michigan, when that was not true? Why do you lie all the time…is it pathological or purposeful?

    Tia Reek

  2. Reek! I’m calling you a liar. Everyone is convinced your a liar. 😰

    Does that not bother you at all?


  3. And so we get more of the patented Emery interpretive TDS dance.

    Wow, you’ve convinced me … that you are no position to judge the mental health of others. Good job?

  4. You cannot commit slander in comment threads; it’s libel, you uneducated nitwit. But it’s not libel to write the truth. You are a pathological liar, Reek; it’s a fact documented in your own words.

    Take me to court, Reek!

  5. Remember back in the day, back when you were a fabled keyboard warrior? Neither can I.

    You still can’t bring the heat and quite frankly— you’re embarrassing yourself again.

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