To: Governor Walz
From: Mitch Berg, impudent peasant and Covid “Survivor”
Re: I’m Here To Help
You and your administration have been having a hard time getting ahead of the Covid virus, and your stated goal of “controlling the spread”.
I’m here to help.
More proximately, I’m here to help by showing you policies from elsewhere in your own career that can fix things, deux ex Moderna, for you.
So this is what you need to do solve Covid’s violence against Minnesotans:
- Find some national organization to whom you can (falsely, without any actual link) tie Covid. Which organization? Doesn’t matter – could be Ducks Unlimited for all we care. Just fine one, and start demonizing them.
- Get your progressive plutocrat funders to pony up to created “grassroots” non-profits to push “common sense Covid laws” in the Legislature.
- Support creating a registry of people who get Covid. Because it’s just common sense to know who’s got this deadly disease.
- When citizens suspect someone might have Covid, allow citizens to file court orders allowing the policy to go into their homes and enforce quarantines.
- If people have the kind of Covid that includes the skin rash, take it away from them. Nobody needs that.
Glad I could help with these commonsense Covid laws.
That is all.