Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
Every year, I scan the news for stories of blind, fingerless, homeless Wisconsinites crossing the border into Minnesota. Still haven’t found any.
Fireworks that fly or explode are illegal in Minnesota. Governor Walz vetoed a bill to legalize them. But they’re legal to buy in Wisconsin and the Dakotas, so in a massive act of civil disobedience, Minnesotans cross the border to bring fun home. The Twin Cities really did transform into Mogadishu for a couple of hours on Saturday night; sounded like it, at least.
DFL Karens insist fun fireworks are too dangerous for Minnesotans. Firecrackers could blow your fingers off. Bottle rockets could shoot someone’s eye out. Your aerial display mortar could set the roof on fire. You’re simply too stupid to follow the instructions printed on every package of Black Cats since I was a kid: “Lay on ground. Light fuse. Get away.”
If that were true, you’d think the news media would show the hordes of maimed and homeless refugees from neighboring states coming here for medical treatment, food, shelter, generous welfare benefits, solicitous churches . . . but no, there are no refugee stories. I see only two possibilities: the news media is hiding the story, or there are no refugees which means Karen is lying.
And yet fireworks are banned. There were 59 injuries from fireworks in Minnesota last year, half of them kids burned by sparklers which are completely legal. For this, we ban fireworks in the entire state?
The risk is negligible but the ban is permanent. I see only one possibility: DFLers believe Cheeseheads are so much smarter than Minnesotans, they can be trusted with freedom. We cannot. So they won’t give us any.
Actually, that explains a lot.
And not just about fireworks.