Thou Shalt Gig Up
By Mitch Berg
I know this story’s been making the rounds, but I had to get in on it; a Brit Anglican priest is urging the poor to shoplift:
‘My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift,’ [Father Tim Jones] told his stunned congregation at St Lawrence and St Hilda in York.
‘I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither.
That’s right. There’s nuance! More later.
Father Jones does have scruples, though:
‘I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.
In other words – “pass a tax on the rest of society without bothering to go through the government”.
It’s the ultimate manifestation of “hope and change”; it’s Chicago politics taken to the streets. Er, aisles.
‘I would ask them not to take any more than they need. I offer the advice with a heavy heart. Let my words not be misrepresented as a simplistic call for people to shoplift.
Oh, heavens no. It’s a simplistic call to for people to shoplift wrapped in a tortilla of demented pseudo-religion.
‘The observation that shoplifting is the best option that some people are left with is a grim indictment of who we are.
Depends on what the definition of the word “we” is.
‘Rather, this is a call for our society no longer to treat its most vulnerable people with indifference and contempt.
‘When people are released from prison, or find themselves suddenly without work or family support, then to leave them for weeks with inadequate or clumsy social support is monumental, catastrophic folly.
Er, yeah. Perhaps the Anglican Church could, y’know, help people?
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:16 am
Wow, clever way to link some wacky Anglican priest from Britain to Barack Obama! Of course, if instead of “hope and change,” some lefty had written “compassionate conservatism” and substituted “Karl Rove politics” for “Chicago politics,” you might have correctly criticized that post as knee-jerk, lazy and unimaginative.
But it’s all fair game for Shot in the Onion. While Obama’s Kenyan citizenship and Muslim faith are well known to you kooks, somehow it’s a wacky British Anglican who captures what’s *really* on the president’s mind. Cause Obama believes in stealing, dontcha know.
Just curious. Do you have a filing tag for “Pulled Out of Mitch’s Ass”?
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:30 am
Wow, clever way to link some wacky Anglican priest from Britain to Barack Obama! Of course
What do you call it when someone who cleverly links all Republicans to confederates and snake-handlers accuses a conservative of “clever linking?”
Tears of a Clown.
And no, silly Clown. It’s not what’s “really” on the Prez’ mind. Just a disturbing number of his disciples. Er, voters.
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:58 am
The underlying rationale isn’t far from the Liberation Theology preached by the likes of Daniel Berrigan. Take from the rich and give to the poor. Redistribute wealth from those who can afford it to those who need it.
” . . . spread the wealth around – it’s good for everybody.” [Barak Obama, Toledo, Ohio, October 15, 2008].
Oh crap, did I just link the philosophy of a wacky British cleric to President Barak Obama? My bad.
.
December 22nd, 2009 at 9:12 am
‘Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto yourself the things which belong to large evil multinational corporations?’
I think Father Jones has a different Book of Matthew than I do.
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:15 am
Has the Anglican church radically edited the Ten Commandments? I thought for sure there was one in there that read “Thou shalt not steal”.
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:28 am
or covet thy neighbor’s property.
December 22nd, 2009 at 10:49 am
Silly me. It’s not stealing. It’s “economic justice”. I seem to recall a recent Presidential candidate being a big advocate for “economic justice”.
December 22nd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
“Has the Anglican church radically edited the Ten Commandments?”
Who hasn’t?
December 22nd, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Booster coats for Jesus. Just in time for the Holidays.
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Who hasn’t?
All of the Christian churches that are actually growing. The Lutherans, Episcopalian and the Anglicans will all be nothing more than footnotes in history.
December 22nd, 2009 at 3:59 pm
“All of the Christian churches that are actually growing.”
I assume you are referring to the ones that rewrote the Old Testament to include only one creation story instead of two.
I’d rather be a footnote. That’s where history hides all the good stuff.
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
OK, rather than footnote, let’s say moribund and about to die.
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:19 am
So we’re drawing a disctinction between churches that focus on God and those that focus on peoples’ feelings? Why do you hate people?
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:16 pm
What do you expect from an outfit that was created to serve the whims of King Henry VIII? They’ve served one asshole and are now busy blessing the penetration of others.