Shot in the Dark

Adding Insult

Saint Paul “porch pirate” – one of the plague of demi-human locusts that have been stealing delivery packages from peoples’ porches – sinks to a new(er) low: leaving a snorky “thank you” note to their victim:

As if stealing a package from someone’s front steps isn’t cruel enough, a porch pirate in St. Paul added an insulting “thank you” note for the package’s rightful owner. 
“Two days ago Hilary was notified that a package was delivered to her home on the 800 block of Watson Avenue. When she got home from work at about 5 p.m., the package was missing, replaced with a thank you note from the porch pirate. Unbelievable,” wrote St. Paul Police Department in a tweet. 
The note reads: “So just a quick little thank you for leaving me the opportunity of stealing your package very nice of you. Thank you.”
The note is signed by “The new owner of your package.” 

Mayor Carter: It’s time to do the right thing.

Repeal the ordinances that prohibit booby-trapping.

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Mitch Berg

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Comments

16 responses to “Adding Insult”

  1. Swiftee Pinochet Avatar
    Swiftee Pinochet

    Any time you hear or read a statement start with “so”, walk away, because what follows is 100% guaranteed to damage brain cells.

  2. John Kraephammer Avatar
    John Kraephammer

    I agree completely with that above observation about “So”.

    I don’t believe this letter is real.  Its way more likely a hoax than it is real.

  3. shakingmyhead Avatar
    shakingmyhead

    Mitch – if they repeal the booby trap ordinance, they can charge permit fees, and set up a whole new review and compliance office. More government jobs, and an ability to ensure the traps don’t actually do any harm to people, the environment, or feelings.

  4. Swiftee Pinochet Avatar
    Swiftee Pinochet

    “ensure the traps don’t actually do any harm to people, the environment, or feelings.”

    So, why bother? A proper trap checks all of those boxes.

  5. shakingmyhead Avatar
    shakingmyhead

    Swiftee – I don’t know why you’d bother. I was attempting to point out how government would nueter any practical application. They want approved booby traps to be weak and ineffective, but still bring in revenue.

  6. mjb003 Avatar
    mjb003

    I had the same reaction as John- seems like a hoax.

  7. M. Thompson Avatar
    M. Thompson

    If it’s not a hoax, it’s a good way to track down the porch pirate.

  8. Swiftee Pinochet Avatar
    Swiftee Pinochet

    Mitch and Nancy Pelosi have agreed not to speak about the fact the reprobate House majority has passed articles of impeachment. OK

  9. Swiftee Pinochet Avatar
    Swiftee Pinochet

    smh, if I ever set traps, you can be sure they would inflict agonizing pain, debilitating humiliation, and as much environmental damage as possible.

    It’s just me, being me.

  10. Bill C Avatar
    Bill C

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OtSb5l10ao

    Lots more of these will slow down this trend.

  11. shakingmyhead Avatar
    shakingmyhead

    Swiftee – Concur. As said by Blaster: in Uncommon Valor, Most human problems can be solved by an appropriate charge of high explosives.

  12. Swiftee Pinochet Avatar
    Swiftee Pinochet

    smh, explosives are fun, but expensive. I think the VC had the right idea…sharpen sticks and dip them in…Well, you know.

  13. Pig Bodine Avatar
    Pig Bodine

    Swiftee,
    “sharpen sticks and dip them in…” the streets of San Francisco!

  14. TKS Avatar
    TKS

    Govt-approved booby trap.

    Kind of like the UK’s approved personal protection device? Worthless.

    https://www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q589.htm

    “You must not get a product which is made or adapted to cause a person injury. Possession of such a product in public (and in private in specific circumstances) is against the law.
    There are products which squirt a relatively safe, brightly coloured dye (as opposed to a pepper spray). A properly designed product of this nature, used in the way it is intended, should not be able to cause an injury. However, if injury does occur, this may be assault.”

  15. Night Writer Avatar
    Night Writer

    smh, if I ever set traps, you can be sure they would inflict agonizing pain, debilitating humiliation, and as much environmental damage as possible.

    Swiftee has perfected the self-igniting tire-fire gift box.

  16. FRESCHFISCH Avatar
    FRESCHFISCH

    Does kitty litter and feline waste count as a booby trap?

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