Adding Insult
By Mitch Berg
Saint Paul “porch pirate” – one of the plague of demi-human locusts that have been stealing delivery packages from peoples’ porches – sinks to a new(er) low: leaving a snorky “thank you” note to their victim:
As if stealing a package from someone’s front steps isn’t cruel enough, a porch pirate in St. Paul added an insulting “thank you” note for the package’s rightful owner.
“Two days ago Hilary was notified that a package was delivered to her home on the 800 block of Watson Avenue. When she got home from work at about 5 p.m., the package was missing, replaced with a thank you note from the porch pirate. Unbelievable,” wrote St. Paul Police Department in a tweet.
The note reads: “So just a quick little thank you for leaving me the opportunity of stealing your package very nice of you. Thank you.”
The note is signed by “The new owner of your package.”
Mayor Carter: It’s time to do the right thing.
Repeal the ordinances that prohibit booby-trapping.
December 19th, 2019 at 7:14 am
Any time you hear or read a statement start with “so”, walk away, because what follows is 100% guaranteed to damage brain cells.
December 19th, 2019 at 9:17 am
I agree completely with that above observation about “So”.
I don’t believe this letter is real. Its way more likely a hoax than it is real.
December 19th, 2019 at 11:45 am
Mitch – if they repeal the booby trap ordinance, they can charge permit fees, and set up a whole new review and compliance office. More government jobs, and an ability to ensure the traps don’t actually do any harm to people, the environment, or feelings.
December 19th, 2019 at 11:52 am
“ensure the traps don’t actually do any harm to people, the environment, or feelings.”
So, why bother? A proper trap checks all of those boxes.
December 19th, 2019 at 12:11 pm
Swiftee – I don’t know why you’d bother. I was attempting to point out how government would nueter any practical application. They want approved booby traps to be weak and ineffective, but still bring in revenue.
December 19th, 2019 at 12:53 pm
I had the same reaction as John- seems like a hoax.
December 19th, 2019 at 1:17 pm
If it’s not a hoax, it’s a good way to track down the porch pirate.
December 19th, 2019 at 1:41 pm
Mitch and Nancy Pelosi have agreed not to speak about the fact the reprobate House majority has passed articles of impeachment. OK
December 19th, 2019 at 1:44 pm
smh, if I ever set traps, you can be sure they would inflict agonizing pain, debilitating humiliation, and as much environmental damage as possible.
It’s just me, being me.
December 19th, 2019 at 2:37 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoxhDk-hwuo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OtSb5l10ao
Lots more of these will slow down this trend.
December 19th, 2019 at 2:58 pm
Swiftee – Concur. As said by Blaster: in Uncommon Valor, Most human problems can be solved by an appropriate charge of high explosives.
December 19th, 2019 at 4:16 pm
smh, explosives are fun, but expensive. I think the VC had the right idea…sharpen sticks and dip them in…Well, you know.
December 19th, 2019 at 5:32 pm
Swiftee,
“sharpen sticks and dip them in…” the streets of San Francisco!
December 19th, 2019 at 5:43 pm
Govt-approved booby trap.
Kind of like the UK’s approved personal protection device? Worthless.
https://www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q589.htm
“You must not get a product which is made or adapted to cause a person injury. Possession of such a product in public (and in private in specific circumstances) is against the law.
There are products which squirt a relatively safe, brightly coloured dye (as opposed to a pepper spray). A properly designed product of this nature, used in the way it is intended, should not be able to cause an injury. However, if injury does occur, this may be assault.”
December 20th, 2019 at 10:39 am
smh, if I ever set traps, you can be sure they would inflict agonizing pain, debilitating humiliation, and as much environmental damage as possible.
Swiftee has perfected the self-igniting tire-fire gift box.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:50 am
Does kitty litter and feline waste count as a booby trap?