Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
Ilhan Omar, credibly charged with marrying her brother to commit immigration fraud, is pretty. Not a Hollywood knockout, but pretty. Katie Hill, who just got caught in a three-way sex scandal, is pretty. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, promoter of the Green New Deal, is pretty. They’re all young, pretty, first term members of Congress and they’re all having trouble – with family, party, and the media. I think I see the problem. Congress is unfair to pretty girls.
Everybody knows that pretty girls don’t have to. They don’t have to . . . anything. They don’t have to worry about finding a date for the dance, they don’t have to wait in line to get into the nightclub, they don’t have to pay for dinner or drinks. Pretty girls do whatever they want and everyone lets them get away with it, because they’re pretty.
But suddenly, these pretty girls get to Washington and Congress has weird rules expecting pretty girls to act the same as ugly girls and dweeby boys and OLD people. That’s ridiculous. They’ve never had to play by those rules their entire lives. Like they’re going to play by them now? Totally unfair.
And with all the people identifying as pretty girls these days, it’s gonna get outta hand.