Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

My office assistant is a nice young lady, pink hair and piercings, knows nothing but she’s cheerful and shows up every morning, which is about as much as you can expect these days.
She complains that she has no money, living in her uncle’s basement cuz the rent is cheap, then says she has to take her kitten to the vet to be neutered. Wait a minute, you already have a bird and a dog, why’d you buy a kitten? Oh, she didn’t, someone gave her a free kitten but now she’s looking at vet bills that she can’t afford.
I didn’t even bother to suggest giving it to the animal shelter. I knew that would be unacceptable, because they kill animals that no one wants, and that’s cruel.
How do you explain to someone that their entire view of the world is slanted the wrong direction? If you can’t afford to support yourself, then you can’t afford to support any animals. And you certainly can’t afford to go clubbing in Minneapolis, or have your hair done a brighter color, or a new tattoo. No, just no. You can’t afford it. That’s not cruel, that’s just the way it is.
I am officially a fuddy-duddy.
Joe Doakes.

I’ve had more than a few conversations with “broke” (and woke? I dunno) Millennials with “Sleeves” of tattoos up and down their arms, and wondered “how much less broke would you be without that collection of tacky, tasteless, ugly ink all over you?”

Among other things.

12 thoughts on “Priorities

  1. I agree. This trend to get tattooed all over, seems to be an epidemic and, unfortunately, my daughter even has a few. Of course, they justify it by calling it “body art”. To me, it’s always been a waste of time and money.

  2. There is always money for cigarettes, beer and tattoos – and if there isn’t, Joe, you are not paying her enough. (fascist) 🙂

  3. I am confused by the tat’ craze. It also encompasses younger people who are doing well, have kids, and are otherwise apparently sane.

    It’s like some sort of need, and in that regard, tats seem like a gateway drug to more extreme forms of self-desecration. That is, piercings. And I don’t mean earrings. One can only hope they don’t take that next step. I think that’s a declaration of a mental disease.

  4. you’re on to it jdm,

    when you look like every other awkward teenager you get a bad haircut and dye your hair pink or purple and then you are special

    until too many of your friends look like you so you get some garish artless tattoos and you are special again

    until you and your friends all look like a Dinkytown lamppost on Mayday then you get body piercings and you are special again

    when you and your friends have all pierced your lips, eyebrows, tongues, and genitlals then you proclaim yourself truly special by saying “I am gender fluid trans”

    at this point the only logical next step is to join Antifa

    somewhere in that process you have become the victim of a mental disease

  5. So, Mac, narcissism it is. The only question is the degree.

    So, my next question, something to wonder about, is how did previous generations keep this (apparently) latent narcissism under wraps? In other words, is this all just part of the freedom to be me?

  6. I can’t tell you how many mornings I’ve got up, looked in the mirror, done an honest self-assessment, and said, “Okay, I admit it; I’m fat and plain which makes me a 5, maybe a 6, on the Hotness Scale. The only way I’m going to become more attractive is a cool tat or maybe an exotic piercing, maybe get a bone through my nose like those awesome people in Africa.”

    If only I weren’t such a neophobic.

  7. The thing that strikes me about tattoos is that even if I liked how they looked, do I really want somebody who’s touched every creepy biker babe and dude on the planet to be touching me for hours where I wanted that tat? Really?

    Reality in this case is that in the past, we had a higher tolerance for telling people that they had to make choices, guns or butter, booze or family, etc.. Now we don’t, and then we wonder why people are running low on butter, family, health insurance, and the like. It’s like how engineers like myself will respond to the refrain “I want it cheaper, better, and faster”–“choose two”.

  8. I am blessed that I made all my youthful indiscretions in the age before tattoos.

  9. Admission of guilt: when my wife and I turned 60, we decided to get matching tat’s. Never had a tat’ before. Color(ful) and a flag design that appealed to us both. The guy was very, very good at his job and mine, which is on my arm, cannot be seen unless I lift up the sleeve even with a short-sleeved shirt. The flags are actually waving, nice job.

    Off the bucket list, no need to do that again. No interest either.

  10. WOMAN (with tattoos on arms, legs, visible parts of back and chest): “Every one of these tattoos tells a story”

    ME: “Yeah. And every story ends with ‘I’ve got serious daddy issues'”.

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